We skidded down the canal, flying past boats and confused passersby, soaking the ones who were too close to the water. We even soaked a bride and groom who were having a wedding on a boat. "Sorry," I yelled back, and I could hear the bride retching, spitting bile out of her mouth.
For a moment, everything was going my way. There was a faint buzzing noise around us, but I just assumed it was the friction and speed of the water skis. At least, until the buzzing grew to a roar and Raihan's Flygon swooped out of the sky and grabbed me.
Twisting and screaming in anger, I beat at the claws holding me hostage, but they wouldn't budge. Then, I had a brilliant idea. I reached down and grabbed my shoes, which were still in Water Mode. Tugging one off, I turned and jammed the sharp end of the ski into Flygon's claws.
Shrieking in pain, it dropped me, and I whooped in delight, but then I realized another problem; we'd been flying at least 300 feet above the ground, and if I didn't do something in the next two seconds we were all going to become street pizza. I could hear Flygon diving after me, and struggling with the force of the air rushing into my face, I grabbed Espeon's luxury ball and opened it.
"USE PSYCHIC AND GET US OUT OF THIS MESS!!" I yelled over the howling of wind in our ears. As the feeling of mental power washed over me, I braced myself for impact. As we hit the ground, I rolled back to let my legs absorb the shock and came up on my feet, ready to run, but quite a few things blocked my path.
First, I noticed the Gym Leaders, looking very, very displeased. Nessa's hair was a rat's nest, and I choked back a laugh at Opal, whose dress was a pretzel of fabrics. Bede's face was red with fury, and Sordward was standing by a mirror image of himself, except his hair was shaped like a shield, who I assumed to be his brother, Shielbert, who was supposed to be dressed like a Falinks; the tell-tale spiked helmet was missing.
Melony and Gordie had their Pokemon Lapras and Coalossal out, and I got a little nervous. Gordie was one of the Gym Leaders I hadn't stolen a Dynamax Band from, and a Gigantamax Pokemon was not an opponent I wanted to take on right now.
Nessa and Kabu had their Pokeballs at the ready, Milo had Flapple out and ready to battle, and Raihan was recording the whole thing on his Rotom Phone. Great. Over half of Galar liked looking at his selfies; imagine what the views would be like if he posted a video of a thief trying to run away from the law. Now, I'd have to hack his phone to delete my face or it could end up everywhere. More things to do.
Then, I noticed the Champion, Leon, with Charizard out. That really made me quake in my Converse. Going up against a few Gym Leaders was one thing, but the Champion? There was no way I was going to take a risk like that, even if he didn't have a Dynamax Band. Professor Magnolia was frowning at me, leaning on a cane that had a Corvisquire carved from wood on the top.
"Give it up, superthief," Officer Jenny yelled over a megaphone, her partner Boltund standing beside her, fur crackling with electricity. "And the fun just keeps on coming," I murmured, fingering a luxury ball. "You're surrounded and it isn't a fair fight."
"You're right," I shot back. "Get another ten guys in here, and I might just stop going easy on you losers."
"Officers, engage the hostile." I turned at the sound of Chairman Rose's voice. "She's been causing chaos for far too long, and I won't compromise the security of Galar any longer."
A dozen officers, huge, burly men in sky blue uniforms, started to circle in closer, forming a wall around me with their bodies. "Okay, ladies, I just have a few ground rules for the fight," I smiled, taking a defensive stance. "No hair-pulling, no crying, and no tattling to Mommy if you get a boo-boo, okay?"
As the police charged, I ran forward to meet them. Grabbing my other shoe off my foot, I slammed one officer in the face with the flat of my water ski, swept another off his feet, and parried multiple batons with my shoe. I'm suddenly so glad for fencing lessons, I thought, knocking the baton out of one officer's hand and then smacking him square in the ribs, sending him flying back.
"Watch out, coppers," I warned, twirling my water ski like a mace. "I'm dealing out spankings, not injuries. For now. If you keep this up, I'll have no choice but to start really fighting, and I don't want the fun to end so soon. It's nice being the big dog for once, what with being only five feet tall and everything."
A police man charged me, a baton raised above his head, and I charged to meet it with a well-placed uppercut. Then, while I was stuck holding off his attack, he grabbed my water ski with his free hand and flung it off into the canals. "Now that wasn't very nice," I pouted, putting my fists up. I looked Officer Jenny in the eye and gave a little nod, as if to say, Bring it.
"Officers, no more batons. Ranged weapons only. Get out your tasers."
"Espeon, use Psychic and fling them away," I yelled. An invisible force yanked two dozen little guns out of their master's holsters and dropped them in the river. "Hope you brought scuba gear," I sang, mentally hoping Skrelp wasn't feeling particularly curious tonight.
They wouldn't kill me, and I doubted any of them were a good enough shot with a gun to stun me without making me lose something. They had no choice but to engage in short-ranged attacks, giving me the advantage. I'd been taking self-defense since I was six. And I never promised I'd fight fair.
The first officer to charge was a young woman, maybe in her 20s. I easily sidestepped her lunge to hit me and knocked her over with a well placed jab to the back of her neck using my right elbow. More officers came, and I swiftly and gracefully took them out, felling ranks with the smallest jab or push. One made the rookie mistake of grabbing at my hair. Learning from previous mistakes, I rolled out of the wig, and while he was confused I knocked him out with a nice punch to the nose.
The cops were starting to panic, looking to Officer Jenny for guidance, but even she seemed at a loss for words. A few I'd knocked over from the beginning had come back for a second beating, and I gave it to them without batting an eye. The Gym Leaders were talking with Rose, but I barely looked at them. That is, until Sordward tried to grab my wrist when I was fighting a burlier cop and came a little too close to the crowd.
Instantly, the cop slapped a handcuff on my wrist and one on Sordward's, presumably so I couldn't get away. He grinned down at me, icy blue eyes glinting with victory. I grunted, and his smile dropped when I knocked my head against his with a heavy klunk.
I hit him again and again, striking everywhere open with my fists. Then, once I felt he'd had enough, I kneed him really hard in the groin. Even Rose winced as Sordward dropped to his knees, whimpering in pain. Kicking the underside of his chin with my toe, his head snapped back, and I pulled him up before he could drag me down with him. Wrapping the cuff chain around his neck and pulling hard, he gave out a strangled gasp, clawing at the metal cutting off his air.
"Get me out of these chains now," I demanded, choking up on the links. "Or we get to see the pretty colors a human face can make with no oxygen." The man with the shield-shaped hair shrieked in alarm, which confirmed that he was, indeed, Sordward's younger brother, Shielbert. Rose was paler than his flowers, and he was talking furiously with Oleana and the Gym Leaders, when a sharp pain burst from the back of my skull.
Dropping like a sack of potatoes, breath ragged, I swayed on my knees, struggling to stay upright. A heavy foot on my spine forced me to sprawl on the ground, my vision tinged with red, and everyone gaped at the person who had wounded me.
"What?" it asked, the voice deep and masculine, with a strange twinge to it. "She bit me. These're nice gloves. An' I won't even mention the hair-pullin'." That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.