I wanted to stretch my body, but I couldn't move at all. Vincenzo's sturdy arms locked around my waist. I tilted my head to see his face. He looks so adorable like a sleeping baby. I restrained myself from pinching his cute cheeks.
His eyebrows furrowed, looking restless in his sleep. After I gently rubbed it, he seemed calm again. Is he dreaming? What is he dreaming about? Was he dreaming of Letty? Does he dream of his dark past?
I slowly moved his big arm and I edged off the bed.
Wait.
Please don't think there's something happen between us.
It was true that we slept in the same room and in the same bed. He looked so sad last night and I offered to sleep with him. He was also shocked at first, and must have been thinking of weird things. But I immediately warned him that I only wanted to sleep with him in the real definition of sleep, not have sex. Our relationship is still too early to step into that phase, and I also don't want to do it after he tells his past story with another woman.
~~~
Even though I slept late after hearing Vincenzo's first love story, I still forced myself to wake up in the morning. A little late, it's already 8 o'clock. I feel embarrassed for Caterina when I wake up late. I heard she always got up early to prepare breakfast for the Cassano family. After washing my face and applying foundation to disguise my panda eyes, I went downstairs to the pantry. As expected, Caterina already seemed busy cutting bread.
"Buongiorno, Caterina."
"Hey, I thought you'd be up later."
"I..." I opened the translator app, "I feel bad for you if I wake up too late."
"Don't think like that, you just came yesterday after all. Wait a minute, breakfast will be ready soon."
"Can I help you?" As a good future sister-in-law, I can't just sit comfortably when she's busy.
"Okay, sure."
I stand beside her, watching her put various kinds of ingredients into the horizontally sliced bread, looks like she was making a sandwich.
"This one's called salami," he pointed to a sausage-like cutlet, "then add cheese, tomatoes and tuna."
"Is this a sandwich?"
"We call them panini. We usually have this for breakfast with espresso. But when I'm too lazy to make them, we just eat croissants or cereal."
The bread is not just stuffed like that, but must first be baked in a toaster called a panini press. I helped her bake while she prepared two cups of espresso for us, and two glasses of milk for the children. Espresso for Vincenzo will be made later after he wakes up. Caterina said that her brother-in-law has often woken up late since moving to Pagliuzza, maybe because as a boss he is not too busy. Caterina often mocked him as unemployed. Well, he's a successful unemployed, unemployed but still making a lot of money.
"What do Koreans usually have for breakfast?"
"There is no definite menu. Usually we eat rice, it can be with soup or side dishes such as steamed eggs, tofu, spinach, and so on. Someties we also breakfast porridge, kimbap, as well as bread and coffee."
"What about you?"
"I usually only drink coffee, sometimes even skip breakfast," I replied with a chuckle.
"I thought I should cook rice in the morning for you."
I shook my head, "no, there's no need to cook rice. I will eat whatever you make, and if I may, I also want to learn to cook from you."
"Preparing to be a good wife, huh?" She teased as she winked.
I just smiled shyly. Just then, Enrico ran in from the back garden, followed by Rosé. They seem to be playing catch-up.
"Kids, let's have breakfast," Caterina called.
Enrico immediately sat down on a chair at the dining table, while Rosé, who had been laughing cheerfully, suddenly became silent, especially when she saw me. Suddenly she turned away.
"Hey, Rose, where are you going?" call Caterina.
"I'm going to school," she said, glancing over at her.
"Your school only starts at 9."
But she didn't heed her aunt's call, went straight into a room, didn't forget to slam the door.
Heol...
Caterina touched my arm "don't be misunderstand, she's just not comfortable with people she doesn't know well."
No, I don't think she's just uncomfortable with strangers. She was waving the war flag at me.
~~~
Rosé does not attend public schools, but homeschools via online. Her nanny, Barbara, watches over her during school to keep her focused and not messing around. Children, sometimes they still likes to lose focus. She will be 7 years old at the end of this year.
She should have finished school before lunch. But until after lunch time, Rosé did not come out of her room. Lunch was delivered by the waiter to the room. Maybe she's busy with homework, or maybe she's avoiding me on purpose.
Vincenzo invited me for a walk, but I refused in reason I was still tired. Though I was planning to carry out my mission, the mission to conquer Rosé.
From Caterina, I got a list of what Rosé likes, such as favorite foods and drinks, animals, toys, hobbies, and so on. I'm not really good at cooking, even just cooking ramyeon is sometimes too muddy. But I'll try to make a fruit salad for her. She likes sour fruits such as apples, strawberries, oranges, kiwis, and so on. I found some fruit in the fridge that I could immediately execute. I split the strawberry in half and cut the kiwi in the shape of a heart. I also added blueberries and mint leaves. I made little bunnies out of apples and put them on top. For dressing, she likes creamy Italian dressing mixed with yogurt with a mountain of grated cheese.
Knock... Knock... Knock...
Barbara opened the door to Rosé's room which I knocked on. The little girl who looks busy in front of the laptop, suddenly she folds her laptop in a hurry, like a student who is afraid of being caught by their mother, who claims to be studying but apperently playing games.
"Hi, auntie brought you a snack."
When I walked over to her, she ran over to the bed, hiding under the covers.
“Signora,” Barbara called to me, hinting that she would give Rosé my salad.
Actually I really want to see her eat my salad in person, but I don't think she's ready to be close to me.
~~~
About two hours later, Barbara came out of Rosé's room with my salad plate in her hand. I, who had been waiting until nodding off on the sofa in the living room, immediately approached her.
And my long wait...
In vain.
The salad I lovingly made with perfect plating turned into a mockup of Babo's tower of Babel that was destroyed by Vincenzo. But at least she touched it, if only to ruffle it.
"Signorina Rosé is a little out of appetite today, but she's eating the cheese, anyway," said Barbara, trying to cheer me up, I guess.
"It's fine, I just need to learn more," I said, comforting myself.
~~~
Rosé couldn't be in the room forever. She had to go out for dinner. The Cassano family had a habit of always getting together at dinner. This habit was not carried out when Paolo was the head of the family, but is now being re-applied by Vincenzo.
Tonight we will be grilling barbecue meat in the backyard. The beef is still fresh, really fresh because it was just slaughtered today from Vincenzo's farm. Before all the meat was burnt, I took a few slices to make yukhoe. The meat is minced before seasoning with soy sauce, ground garlic, salt, sugar, pepper and sesame oil. Don't forget to put a raw egg which is still fresh from the chicken farm on top of the raw meat.
Not to be outdone by me, Caterina also makes Italian tartare di manzo, using lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and pepper, served with parmigiano-reggiano, Italian cheese with a hard texture.
"So tonight we eat grilled meat or raw meat?" Vincenzo asked as he looked at our battle of steak tartare.
"I just can't stand the sight of so fresh meat. I want to eat it raw," I said.
"Boss, the meat is ready to be grilled," Luca reported.
Not only the main family, Luca and Vincenzo's men, as well as the waiters also enjoyed the barbeque. It looks more like a party than a regular dinner. Families for the Italian mafia are not just people who are related by blood, but all members who join and work for them. But indeed not all mafias treat their members as well as the Cassano family, more specifically Vincenzo.
I stood next to Vincenzo who started to burn the meat. I opened my treasure box that I brought from Korea, Kimchi.
"Wow, perfetto," Vincenzo pinched the chicory and radish kimchi, grilling them along with the meat. Kimchi makes the burnt aroma even more delicious.
While the men grilled the meat and poured beer into the glasses, the women including me cut up the fruit for dessert. I made a rabbit out of sliced apples.
"You have a carving talent, Hong Cha Young," Caterina complimented me.
"No really, I can only make this shape."
Vincenzo came up to me with a fork that had pierced a piece of meat and radish kimchi. He fed me.
"How?"
"If you're retired from being a mafia, you'd better open a barbeque restaurant."
"Great idea."
Vincenzo invited us all to eat because the meat was cooked and ready to eat. I eat it the Korean way, which is to wrap pieces of meat and kimchi in lettuce. Some of the Italians who were there tried to follow me.
Meanwhile, Caterina calls out to Rosé and Enrico. The two children were playing with sparkles fireworks with several children their age, some were older too. The children were the children of Vincenzo's servants and men. I handed Rosé a small plate of meat I had cut into small pieces, but she wouldn't accept it and took a large piece of meat. Okay, maybe Italian kids don't like eating meat that is cut into small pieces.
Then she told Barbara to cut the meat. The big meat finally formed a dice like the meat I had cut for her. I ate the meat I wanted to give her. Well, this is a bit tough because I think well-done is better for kids.
I felt a hand touch and caress my waist. I just realized that Vincenzo was beside me.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Why apologize? Did you do something wrong?"
"On my daughter's attitude."
"It's a natural reaction for a child when their father suddenly brings a strange woman into the house and is introduced as a lover. She must be thinking, 'oh crap, looks like I'm going to have a stepmother'. Maybe there are some children who are happy to have a new mother, but there are also children who don't like it, maybe afraid that their stepmother is as bad as Cinderella's stepmother. Moreover, Rosé has had a traumatic experience. I just have to prove that I'm not a bad person. So don't get mad at her, I don't want her to hate me more."
"I just found out that you are a very patient woman."
I almost laughed, "Oh my gosh, I didn't know I could be this patient with a child. I just positioned myself as her. I also wouldn't be able to accept if my father brought home a woman who would become my stepmother."
"I think you're fit to be a mother."
I nudged his ribs, "are you proposing to me?"
I was just joking, but his gaze suddenly made my heart jumping in my chest. Oh, no, is this d-day? Now? If he asks, should I say 'I do'?
He held my hand that was already icy cold, "Hong Cha Young, do you want--"
BLAR!!!
Colorful fireworks exploded in the sky. It will be a beautiful and spectacular sight, if you don't have PTSD or trauma from explosions.
Rosé screamed in terror. Caterina immediately called her psychiatrist. Vincenzo immediately hugged her, but the girl was even more hysterical. She hit and pushed her father. I saw a jacket, I don't know whose. I used the jacket to cover Rosé's head, then hugged and patted her back.
"Relax, Rosé, everything will be fine."
"Signora, better take her to her room," Barbara suggested, "here, let me carry her."
But Rosé's trembling hands gripped my shirt tightly.
"Let me carry her," I said.
Several maids helped me to lift Rosé. Although not fat, but this girl's body is quite heavy. Maybe it's because her height has reached my stomach. Caterina offered to help me, apart from being taller than me, and also used to carrying Rosé. But I refused, because I really couldn't get away from Rosé who now wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.
Arriving in her room, the girl still wouldn't let go of me. So I sat her on my lap, patted her thigh while singing the song 'Three Bears' in Korean. It's the only nursery rhyme I know of, apart from Baby Shark.
When the psychiatrist came, Rosé was already asleep on my lap. According to Doctor Fia, what I did was right to calm her down. But we still have to accompany her because maybe she will have nightmares. Doctor Fia will do therapy for Rosé tomorrow.
Slowly I put the girl on the springbed. My hand accidentally touched something under the pillow, a yellow rabbit-shaped apple. This is the apple from the salad I made this afternoon.
"Gosh, it turns out there's one that's still left here," Barbara chimed in.
"You mean?" I asked.
Barbara answered in a sentence that was too fast for me to understand, so I used a translator app to record what she said and interpret it.
"This afternoon Miss Rosé was playing with the apples in the salad you gave. I didn't know she was hiding an apple under her pillow."
Hong Cha Young, it seems you are jumping to conclusions too quickly. It seems that Rosé doesn't hate me for being her father's lover. As a person with PTSD, she may have some fears and anxiety. I should have understood her better and made her feel safe, rather than 'forced' her to accept me.
Suddenly I felt her hand on my thigh. I stroked her bangs which were already drenched in cold sweat, and kissed her forehead. I lay down beside her, and she shifted her body close to mine. I guess she didn't realize she was doing this, of course. Maybe this is just a subconscious reflex that needs protection.
"Mamma..."
Are you dreaming of your mother, Rosé? Or do you feel you are in your mother's arms?
She sobbed. Her body trembled in my arms. I hugged her tighter while rubbing her back which was wet again, even though I had just changed her dress into clean pajamas.
What are you dreaming about, Rosé? Were you dreaming when your adoptive father killed your biological father? Can't you forgive him?
"Mamma... sob... Mamma..."
"Hussshhh... calm down, baby, Mamma is here. Mamma will always protect you, from now on, to forever."
.
.
To be continue...