~Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it~
******************************
Ammar
Aaliyah was sleeping on the bed like a novel that is yet to be read and I sat on the floor, reading her, moving my fingers through her hair and staring at her face like she was magic that none ever understood
From the moment I met her, her personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. I was dominated, soul, brain and power
I am drowning in that pool of desires without having any idea about the depth of it.
I couldn't believe that she had turned me away last night. I wished she hadn't awakened a longing in me that she didn't satisfy. She had given me a taste of herself and then withdrawn it. I didn't hate her for it, I wanted her more because of it.
Surely she couldn't honestly believe that we were incompatible. But even she must have sensed that our interaction that first night, and all the others was far from typical. Certainly our marriage would not suffer in the bedchamber. And if the passion between us weren't enough, there was also our well-matched intelligence, humor, and maturity. Aside from all that, she is quite lovely, beautiful, Soft in all the right places. I let my thoughts linger, for a man could spend years lost in her lush curves.
She was perfect, pure maddening sex, and she knew it, and she played on it, dripped it, and allowed me to suffer for it.
I was lost in her when she opened her eyes slowly, clearly amused by the fact that I was trying to read her like a book, the most interesting one
"Good morning" she said, rubbing her eyes
"Morning Love" I replied
"Who is jake" I quickly asked
"No one actually" she answered, looking at me wide eyed
"You're up early, why?" She asked
"Do you think we are going to ignore the fact that you had a dream about a guy named Jake yesterday?" I replied
"It was just a bad dream" she told me
"But the name sounds familiar" I said
"How so?" She asked
"I remember. Isn't he the guy you were telling Kim about? Your soulmate?" I asked
"Don't take this the wrong way, but jake and I go way back. He was my first love. We fell in love despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it" she said
I felt those words like a dagger to my chest
"But....." she started again, I cut her off
"I get it, you're probably still in love with him, that's why you have dreams about him" I said, bitterly, backing away. And by then, I was red with anger
"Would you please calm down" she said, in a low soft tone that made my insides curled up. My whole body is screaming for her now
"No, I will not calm down. You should be ashamed of yourself" I told her
"You're overreacting" she said, walking towards me and I felt my heartbeat quicken with each step that she took. She kept coming closer and closer until I could feel her warm morning breath against my skin
I had never been so infuriated by a woman in my life, Or more flummoxed. And never more aroused. I didn't know whether to rant at her or kiss her.
I want her, I wanted her even more. All I want to do right now is to hold her and feel her soft delicate skin against mine. I want to do the most unimaginable things to her body
It was long since I had longed for anything and the effect on me was horrible. It was a terrible division, to feel such need for someone, and yet angry that need existed.
I was about to lift her up and lay her on the bed when the thought of her loving another man crossed my mind, I bolted out of the room without warning
I felt jealous. I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, overly protective or needy
Sometimes, the sapphire depth of my own love for Aaliyah startles and warms and wounds my soul
After putting on a shirt and my workout pants, I pulled on a pair of athletic shorts. I grabbed my running shoes and unhooked my iPod from its charger and headed out
The sky is dark even though it's morning, it hung upon the world ready to smash it. It's heavy and suffocating, It's like this tangent concrete mass that was inches away from squashing me
I hopped on my new bike without even knowing my destination, I just kept going faster and faster with the acceleration overwhelming my body, the smell of rain seemed bitter and more intense now. It dropped on my back and my helmet and I guess I was suppose to be thrilled and adrenaline was suppose to rush through my body. But I felt nothing, I just rode. I realized I knew exactly where I was going
I got off the bike and ran down the stairs that lead to the beach. I somehow reached my isolated secret spot safely
I screamed against the violent rain, the dark sky and the raging sea. I screamed so hard that my glands hurt and I felt like I was choking. I fell on my knees and the harsh little stones ripped my pants open. I pressed my head against the hard rough surface and closed my eyes. I cried because I love Aaliyah, I care so much that I feel as though I will bleed to death with the pain of it.
Underneath the sky, so void of light, the rain soaked me through.
By the time I returned home, My face looked almost as gray as my shirt and the pouches beneath my eyes looked like little bags for holding all the sadness that my head couldn't hold. Last nights and this morning's incident kept playing over and over again
******************************
Thanks For Reading 🙏
Love You All 😍😘❤️
Don't Forget To Vote, Share & Comment 🌹