To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture and close.
"I've seen you before, where?" Joe the bartender asks.
"My first night in Seattle. Got drunk off my ass." Evi responds. Joe laughs.
"Now I recognize you. A fun drunk you are."
But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal.
"What brings you in tonight? You look stressed." He asks passing her a glass of tequila.
"My job is stressful. I haven't had a drink in months." Evi says before taking a long sip.
"That's a bad thing?"
"Depends on how you look at it, I mean, I wouldn't want to have a severely sleep deprived surgeon." Evi says before going to sit beside Meredith.
A cut that rips it's stitches wide open.
"All hail the champ!" Joe cheers as Cristina and George enter the bar. Everyone in the bar cheers.
"So, my guy Alex finally got what was coming to him."
"George knocked him down in one punch. You should've seen it." Cristina says.
"I don't want to talk about it!" George exclaims.
"brag, champ, brag. You've earned it."
"Can I have a beer, please?"
"Let's play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win." Meredith says.
"No, you don't want to play with me." Cristina says.
"Depends on how dark and twisty you guys are." Evi says.
"Oh, I do, and I am very dark and twisty. I'll even go first. Derek's married." Meredith starts.
George chokes on his beer.
"Told you I'd win."
"No, you didn't win."
"Did you hear me? I said Derek is married. As in pigheaded, adulterous, liar married. Nothing you could say could top that."
"I'm pregnant. I win."
George chokes again.
Evi's eyes widen.
"George, beer is dripping from your nostrils." Cristina says disgusted.
George moves from the table to clean himself up.
A bar patron asks Joe if he is alright and Joe falls over.
"Okay. Maybe Joe wins." Evi says while quickly moving towards Joe.
Cristina and Meredith quickly follow behind Evi as Joe tries to get up.
"Joe, back down." Evi says.
"The medics are coming." Some man speaks.
"You called the gurney patrol?"
"Sit back and relax. We have to take you to the hospital to run some tests." Meredith says.
"Tests? I don't need tests. I'm fine!"
"Dude! You collapsed! On the floor. This is you bar. You know how filthy this floor is." Cristina says.
"Radial pulse is strong." Evi says.
"Minor skull contusions." Cristina says.
"You're sleeping with someone?" Meredith asks Cristina.
"What? Who?" George asks.
"Why is that such a shock? Even George managed to get some action."
"Correction. George got some syphilis." Evi jokes.
"How could I not know, you were sleeping with someone?" Meredith grills the woman.
"Forget this." Joe says getting up from the floor.
"Joe!" Evi calls following after him.
"The hospital is right across the street. I can sure as hell walk across the street by myself." He stands up.
"Oh, I think we should-"
"No, I got him. Joe!" The interns scramble after him.
•.•.•
"All right. Details. You're pregnant? What are you gonna do?" Evi asks.
"Look, you know what happens to pregnant interns. I'm not switching to the vagina squad or spending my life popping zits. I'm too talented. Surgery's my life." Cristina says.
"Which begs the question: who are you sleeping with?" Meredith asks.
"Just a guy."
Evi scoffs. "That's all we get? You can't just bring something like this up and expect us to drop it."
"Well, watch me."
They walk up to a desk where George and Izzie are standing.
"Why are you back here tonight, don't you have a date with McDreamy?" Izzie asks.
"More like McMarried." George says.
"McWhat?" Izzie asks in disbelief.
"I came to check on Joe." Meredith says changing the subject.
"You think he's gonna be okay?" George asks.
"You think he's gonna need an operation?" Evi asks.
"Operation, yes. Ok, hard to tell. Basilar artery's blown up like a balloon. Subarachnoid bleeding. Aneurysm the size of a golf ball." Shepherd says walking up.
"No way to clip something like that."
"Not without magic fingers."
"Or a standstill operation."
"You're doing a standstill-he's doing a standstill operation." Cristina says impressed.
"I'd like to try. First I need some additional patient history, overnight labs, and a cerebral angio." He tries to hand the chart to Meredith.
"I'm drunk."
"Meredith-"
Meredith walks away and George grabs the chart. Derek tries to follow Meredith but the other interns step in his way.
"McBastard." Evi coughs before going to follow Meredith.
Derek leaves. Cristina takes the chart from George.
"Ahem."
"What are you doing?"
"Uh-I am on her side, but we're talking a possible standstill here. Recognize."
•.•.•
"Look, I know how you feel." Evi hears after she catches up with Meredith. She opens her umbrella and pulls George with her by grabbing his hand.
"Do you? Somehow I doubt that. Because if you did, you would shut up, and you would turn around and go back inside, because you would realize that I am this close to getting in my car and running you down in the parking lot!" She leaves, George runs up to her with an umbrella in one hand and Evi's hand in the other.
Derek goes back inside.
"Where are your keys?" Evi asks removing her hand from George's.
"I'm fine!" She exclaims almost slipping.
"Meredith, give me your keys. Let's go home." Evi says pulling the keys from her hand.
•.•.•
"Ok, people, assignments. Yang, you're on discharges. O'Malley, Jensen report to room E19. Grey come see me, and who was on call last night?" Bailey hands Alex and Izzie a stack of charts. "Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Redo these and return them to me before lunch, understood?"
"Understood."
"Karev, don't tempt me."
"Somebody's popular." Bailey says to Meredith.
"Meaning?" She asks.
"There's been a special request, just for you."
•.•.•
"Hi. Can I have the chart for E19, please? Thank you." Evi says.
She looks at the chart and realizes that it is the chiefs.
"Oh, good, you're both here. Let's get started." Webber says as they enter the room.
"Okay." George says he starts examining the chief.
"O'Malley?" The chief asks.
"Yeah?"
"You're touching me."
"Yeah."
"No. Carmen-" He brushes off the nurse. "I want you to listen to me very carefully. As long as I'm in here, I don't know what's happening out there. With my doctors. My patients. My hospital. You two are my eyes today, my ears. I want you to be a sponge." The chief says to the two interns.
"A sponge?" Evi asks.
"You repost any and everything happening in this hospital to me."
"I'm an investigative sponge." George says and Evi shoots him a look.
"I'm not fooling around, O'Malley. There's too much been happening lately under my radar. It stops today." He says looking between the two.
"Now go sponge!" He says sending the two off.
"Yes sir." They say before filing out of the room and going their separate ways.
•.•
Evi is standing in a hallway sponging information for the chief.
"Burke you gave Grey to Addison. Are you sure about that?" Derek asks grabbing Evi's attention. She moves closer to them, hiding behind a chart.
"That's not your call, Shepherd. And for the record, I'm always sure. Did you need me for something? Because as the new chief, I'm-"
"Interim chief." Shepard interrupts.
"Chief nonetheless."
"Ever attempt a standstill surgery?"
Evi jots down the juicy parts of their conversation before slipping away before they could notice her.
•.•
"Hey." Cristina says to Burke in a staircase, whereas Evi was at the top eating a granola bar.
Burke does not respond.
"What, you don't speak now you're chief?" Cristina asks. "Burke!"
"What do you want?" He asks.
"What?"
Evi leans to the edge of the staircase to hear better, she slightly pokes her head through the railing to peer down at the two.
"What do you want? You don't want to go out to dinner. You don't want to meet me in the on-call room, and you sure as hell don't want to talk to me. I could pretend I know, but hey, I don't even have your home phone number. So tell me, what do you want?"
Evi widens her eyes before jotting down things in her notepad.
"Don't yell at me." Burke walks away. "Wait. Hey, we're having a conversation here."
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't know!" Burke grabs her and kisses her. "Figure it out."
Evi gasps quietly before writing more in her notepad before once again slipping away before anyone could notice.
•.•.•
Evi waltzes into the chiefs room with her notepad in tow. He looks up at the intern.
"What's the report? I hope you have more than O'Malley." He says.
"Yes sir I do." Evi states proudly.
"Well let me hear it." He says.
She clears her throat.
"Erm, Shepherd has some sort of vendetta against the other Shepherd being here, and I have a hunch- just a hunch that there's another attending and intern relationship." She says.
"Another relationship?" He asks. "With who?"
"I'm don't know for sure. That's all I got from my ear to the wall- or- or floor." She says.
"How are you so good at this?" He asks curious.
"Well growing up people would leave me out of things, so I found them out myself." She says.
He nods his head. "We'll go on." He says. "Get me more."
Evi leaves the room.
•.•.•
"After all this time. All your warnings about me sleeping with my boss, and you're doing the same exact thing?" Meredith grills Cristina.
"It's not the same."
"It's the exactly the same."
"No, it's not. You and McDreamy are in a relationship."
"And you and Burke are in?"
"Switzerland. It's very neutral there. And they make very nice watches."
"Have you even bothered to tell Burke about the baby? Are you going to?"
"Look, Meredith, can we not go there? Can everyone just accept the fact that there are some things I like to keep to myself? I don't discuss everything to death."
"Well, why even confide in me at all. If you're so intent on not discussing it? Why even tell me?"
Evi slides down behind the nurses station her eyes wide.
•.•.•
"George your a bad sponge." Evi insults as she stands in the back of the gallery.
"Wow." He says offended.
"You have to soak things up George." She says.
"Can't see much from back here, O'Malley." Bailey says walking up to the pair.
"I know. I'm trying to find a loophole to help Joe."
"You know Joe?" Evi asks Bailey.
"Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me."
"Oh. So, you and Joe?" George asks and Evi facepalms.
"All you people ever thing about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty. That's why you got syphilis." She slaps George. "Joe was the first person here to tell me I'd make a good surgeon. Not that he knew anything about it. But it was something when I had nothing."
"He's not gonna "die" die. They'll bring him back." Izzie says to Alex.
"He is going to "die" die. No "pulse" pulse. He's gonna be "dead" dead."
"It's a granola bar, Alex. Not a bag of super-size popcorn and a box of chocolate movie mints."
"That's it." George exclaims. Everyone looks at him. "Dead!" George runs out. "Excuse me!"
•.•
"We're going to Joe's, you coming?" Meredith asks Evi as they walk out the hospital entrance.
"Yeah." She says.
The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical... Cut, suture, close.
And the harder it becomes to turn it off-to stop thinking like a surgeon.
And remember what it means to think like a human being.
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