Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare.
How we keep our secrets outside the hospital...Well, that's a little different.
Izzie tries to enter the bathroom but the door is locked.
"George. You locked the door. I need to take a shower."
"Uh, uh, I'll be out in a minute."
"What are you doing in there?"
"It's private."
"Oh. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I get it. I didn't mean to interrupt."
"What's happening?" Evi asks emerging from her room.
"George is playing with the twins." Izzie says with a grin.
"No, it's not that!" He shouts.
"It's ok. Take your time." Evi says pushing herself against the door.
"I am not doing what you think I'm doing."
"You know what, there's really no need to explain. We'll wait. You just...finish."
"No, I'm...I'm coming. I'm coming out."
Evi struggles to hold her laugh in.
One thing is certain. Whatever it is we're trying to hide, we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked.
"There's no reason to be ashamed. It's normal. Healthy, even." Izzie says as George comes out of the bathroom. Evi buries her head into her hands to suppress her laughter.
"Well I'm not ashamed cause I wasn't doing anything. I don't have to. I have a girlfriend."
"An imaginary girlfriend?"
"An actual girlfriend."
"You know what? It's no big deal. You don't have to lie. I get it. You have needs."
Meredith opens her bedroom door that Izzie had been leaning on.
"What is going on out here?"
"Nothing." George says quickly.
Izzie looks at George and changes her mind "Nothing."
"Nothing." Evi says after recovering.
"He's freaked out cause I caught him playing with little Jimmy and the twins."
"I have a girlfriend."
"Okay." Evi answers with a giggle.
That's the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything.
Until you don't have room for anything else. Until you're so full of secrets, you feel like you're going to burst.
•.•.•.•.•
"Patient presented with abdominal pain and blood in his urine. Once his workup come back unrevealing, the urologist suggested a cystoscopy." Evi presents to Burke.
"Reason?" He questions.
"To get a look inside the bladder." George answers.
"I appreciate you doing this, Preston. I know this is a little out of your field." The woman beside the bed says.
"That's not a problem. It gives my interns something to do."
"I have a feeling you keep them plenty busy. We were in the same frat at Tulane. It's gone from torturing pledges to torturing interns. Am I right?"
"Be very careful how you three answer that."
"I could tell some stories."
"Bill, you have a camera snaking up your mojo. It's not the time to cross me."
"It isn't anything too serious?" The woman asks.
"That's what this procedure will tell us. You don't worry about anything but growing my godson in there."
"He kicks like you wouldn't believe."
"A badass, just like his father. Move a little to the right. Your other right. There." He instructs.
"What do you see? What is it?"
"Could be any number of things. O'Malley, Jensen take a biopsy of the mass. Dr. Karev, schedule a CT. Let's not worry until we have to."
•.•.•
"Evi! Could you drop this to the lab for me?" Izzie asks as Evi walks through the hall.
"Sure. Who's it for?" She asks taking the papers.
"Jordan Franklin."
"Consider it done."
•.•.•
"Franklin, Jordan, I need this back ASAP." Evi says dropping the papers on the table.
"What a shocker." The tech guy says. Evi glares at him.
"Hey, what did you get, something good?" Evi asks looking over George's shoulder at the papers he has.
"Syphilis? That's not surgical. Who has syphilis?" She asks taking the papers from George's hands, much to his dismay.
George pulls Evi into the nurse's station.
"Excuse us, sorry." George says to a leaving nurse.
"You have syphilis?" Evi asks out loud.
"Shh!" George closes all the blinds and the door.
"I don't know how this happened." He confesses.
"Of course you do. Olivia must really be getting around." Evi says pulling a face.
"Olivia, she's not like that." He defends her.
"It's a new millennium, George. The only people who aren't like that are the Amish and, apparently, you." Evi says.
"You don't know. Maybe I've been sleeping around. Maybe I got ladies." George tries.
Evi gives him a blank look. "Shut up. What am I gonna do?" George says.
"It's no biggie, couple doses of Penicillin will knock it right on out." She shrugs.
"What am I gonna do about Olivia?" He asks another question.
"Well, for starters, stop sleeping with her, unless you want that thing to fall off." Evi says with a small laugh.
"Ok, that is twice that you have trash-talked the girl that I could one day potentially...well, not love but like a whole lot."
"If she gave it to you, you have to tell her."
"Three."
"Fine. She didn't give it to you. She was a virgin when you met. You still have to tell her so she can get tested." She tries.
"Oh, yeah? How am I gonna tell her? 'Uh, hey, Olivia. How you doing? By the way, I got the syph. How about you?'"
"Maybe not quite like that." Evi tilts her head.
"No, it's good advice, really good advice. Thank you very much." He says before leaving.
•.•.•.•
"I gotta say, George, I didn't think you had it in you. It's always the quiet ones. So whos the woman?" Alex teases as he, Evi and George are in the scanning room.
"None of your business."
"Oh, come on. Who gave you the cooties on the playground?"
"You must have had something like this before, right?"
"I never talk about my penis with other men." Tech looks at George.
"I don't n... either, normally."
Results show up from the CT scan. Evi moves closer to the screen.
"We better get Burke." She says.
•.•.•.•
"There's definitely a growth, protruding into the bladder, but look at the edges. I don't think it's a tumor." Burke says looking at the scans.
"Kind of shaped like an ovary." Alex says.
"That the flip answer you're gonna give your patient, Dr. Karev? This is one of my oldest friends. You might want to take this seriously."
"I'm sorry, sir."
"You better be."
"I got the rest of the labs back. They did a chromosome analysis of the tissue. You won't believe this." George says joining the trio.
Burke looks at the lab results. "Bill has an ovary?"
•.•.•.•.•
"Hey, syph-boy." Cristina greets George at the lunch table.
"You told her?" George asks Evi.
"Just Cristina, and Izzie." She says taking a bite out of her sandwich.
"'Syph-boy.' It's got a nice ring to it, it's kinda like Superboy, only diseased." Alex jokes.
"Evi didn't have to say a word. Around here, the only thing that spreads faster than disease is gossip." Cristina says.
"That's not true. Just cause Evi can't keep her mouth shut doesn't mean everyone knows."
Meredith enters and sits. "Hey, George. How are you feeling? Sorry about the syphilis."
"Everyone in this hospital knows?"
"Knows you're a player."
"You're disturbed." Evi says.
"True. Everybody's got a secret. Just be glad yours is out in the open." He says gesturing to George.
"Oh, yeah, Alex? What's yours?" Cristina says.
"You show me yours, and I'll show you mine." Alex says. "I bet you've got some seriously kinky skeletons in your closet."
"What's in my closet is none of your business."
"Well, I don't have any secrets. My life is boring." Izzie says.
"Everybody's got something to hide." Meredith says, and everyone stares at her.
•.•.•.•.•.•
"Meredith, go away!" Evi hears from down hall.
"Oh, George. Thought you could use some moral support."
"NO! No, moral support. I'm indisposed here."
"George, it's not a big deal. And you have a cute butt." Evi says pulling the curtains back and joining.
"I have a cute butt too. You want to see?" Alex says.
"Oh, get out. You're doing it wrong." Evi kicks Alex out.
"Be my guest." He says leaving.
"What...? Alex. Alex. Wha...?" George says confused.
Izzie enters.
"Hey!" George exclaims.
"What are we doing here?" She asks.
"Breaking George's spirit." George says.
"Curing George's syph." Evi says.
"I don't like needles."
"Good thing you became a doctor."
"Izzie?" Cristina yells from the hall.
"Yeah?" She says alerting Cristina of their location.
"Uh, Mr. Franklin's procedure's been scheduled for after lunch..." Cristina enters.
"Oh, what are we doing?" She asks.
"We are saving George from a future of festering sores and insanity." Izzie says.
"Oh, cute butt."
"Told ya." Evi says.
"It is cute, like a baby's."
"You know, I have spent hours, days, years, imagining myself half-naked in a room with three women. The reality is so much better." George leaves.
"I think he's gonna cry." They all laugh.
•.•
"Three interns, four residents and six nurses on this surgical floor have been diagnosed with...syphilis." The room makes 'ooh' noises.
"There are over 70,000 new cases every year. Undiagnosed, syphilis can lead to blindness, insanity and death."
"If you are having unprotected sex with another member of the staff, get tested."
"This is not a request." Everyone laughs.
"Patricia will now give you a safe-sex demonstration." The laughing continues.
Patricia stands up holding a condom and a banana. "When the time is right, and, gentlemen, you'll all know when that time is, carefully open the condom packet and roll it onto the banana." She says. Evi let's out a laugh.
"Open communication is essential to a healthy relationship. In a responsible relationship..." Patricia continues.
"Poor George." Evi whispers to Cristina and Meredith.
"Yeah. You know, I think he really likes Typhoid Mary." Cristina says.
"Well, not man budding relationships survive a good dose of VD." Meredith says.
"Yeah." Evi says.
"When the banana is finished..." Patricia goes on.
"Yeah." Meredith says.
"....gently peel off the condom and dispose of it properly. With every fresh banana, always use a fresh condom."
•.•.•
"You paged?" Evi asks as she and Meredith walk into the MRI room.
"Yeah, I need you to help me out on something for the chief. Can you keep a secret?" He asks the two girls.
"Better than you think." Meredith responds for them both.
•.•.•
"That's the last of the ovarian material. I just need to sew up the perforation on the bladder wall." Burke says.
"Uh..."
"Is there a problem, Dr. Knox?"
"Well, you said this man's wife is pregnant?"
"Due in five weeks. Why?"
"Our patient has a blind vas deferens."
"Bill is sterile?"
"And always has been."
"Then who got his wife pregnant?" George asks.
Everyone just looks at each other.
"Oh." Evi sighs.
"Sucks to be Bill right now." Alex says.
Alex, George, Evi and Burke are walking through the hallway.
"How's Burke gonna tell him the baby's not his?" Evi whispers.
"Burke's not gonna tell him." Alex says and Evi's eyes widen.
"He has to, their friends." Evi whispers.
"Bill's better off not knowing."
"Do you think Holly knows Bill's not the father?" George questions.
"Maybe, maybe not." Alex says.
"Of course she does. She cheated on him." Evi mumbles.
"I think Bill should know his wife's cheating on him. I'd wanna know." George says.
"I don't remember asking for your opinions, so keep them to yourselves." Burke snaps.
"Sorry, sir." George says. "You're such as gossip." He directs towards Alex.
•.•.•.•
Evi tapes a sign to the doors that read "Do Not Enter-Closed For Maintenance." Richard is inside prepping for his surgery.
"How we doing?" Derek asks entering the OR after Evi.
"Did you lock up the gallery?" Webber asks Evi.
"Don't worry. We're flying under the radar." She confirms.
"What did you put out there, the Midas Rex?" Shepard asks.
"We've got it, chief." Bailey says.
"How much cancomycin is there?"
"One gram, as ordered, sir."
"You're not gonna be too liberal with those benzos, are ya?"
"You know, doctors make the worst patients. You should just breathe in the happy gas. Stop running my OR. I got you covered." Shepard says as Webber goes under.
•.•.•
"Ok, I've sutured the drain in place. The staples look fine. All right, we're done here." Shepard says. "Dr. Bailey, you want to wrap him?"
"I got it." Bailey confirms.
"Nice work, everybody. Nicely done."
"Thanks."
"Good."
"Do you think the optic nerve is damaged?" Evi asks.
"If it is, when he wakes up, he'll..."
"He'll be blind? For how long?"
"Forever. Page Stevens and Yang. Tell them I want them covering your patients. I need you both to stay and monitor the chief." Bailey tells Meredith and Evi.
"Cristina and Izzie, um...I think they're already swamped." Meredith says and Evi furrows her eyebrows.
"With what?" Bailey asks.
"Labs. They had to check on some labs."
"Oh, you are lying. I know you're lying. You know how I know? Cause you're a bad liar! I hate a bad liar." Bailey says. She turns to another surgeon. "I know exactly where they are. Here. Take over for me." She says before leaving.
Evi turns to Meredith. "Where are they?" She asks.
"Doing an autopsy." She says.
"Why didn't I know?"
"You were with Burke."
Evi nods in understanding.
•.•.•
"How long has that been going on?" The chief questions taking Evi by surprise.
"Chief you can see!" She exclaims.
"Yes- how long has Meredith and Shepherd been happening?"
"I-I'm not sure." She lies with a slight smile as Meredith enters.
"Meredith? He's an attending. You're an intern." The chief scolds.
"You saw us? You can see." She says.
"I'm gonna tell you what your mother would say if she were here. You're making a mistake, a big one."
"Excuse me." Evi says.
"And I would tell my mother it's not a mistake." Evi hears before leaving.
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free.
"Alex!" Evi exclaims.
"George!" Cristina yells.
"Back off, Alex." Izzie says as they pull George off of Alex.
And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore.
The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control...you're not.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•