Criticism spot! :)
Crutchie's POV
I shot awake in the middle of a nightmare, sitting up and wrapping my arms around myself. I wasn't crying or shaking, but I was breathing heavily. I had woken Jack up from my movement, and I stared straight ahead as he rubbed his eyes, sitting up as well.
"Crutch? What's wrong?" He asked, his voice tired.
"Nothing, just a nightmare," I said, feeling him start to rub my back. We had been together for a few weeks now, and were real good at keeping it hidden from everyone.
"What about?" I looked at him as he spoke, sighing.
"My Dad, that's all," I tried to smile at him so he'd think I was okay, but he didn't fall for it.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He said as we both laid back down, facing one another.
"It was just a dream of him hitting me, that's all," I spoke quietly, rubbing my eyes. Jack studied me for a second, and I could tell he was thinking hard.
"Can I ask you somethin'?" He asked, and I nodded. "I dunno how to put this, since I've never had talks like this til now, but," he took a deep breath, and I smiled to show him it was okay to continue. "Why're you so afraid of your Dad if you're not around him?" I looked away as I thought about it, as it wasn't something that had ever come to mind before. After a few moments I looked back at Jack, not wanting him to think I was upset.
"I think it's because I don't know where he is," I got out, and Jack looked even more confused.
"Whattya mean?"
"I mean, since I ran away, I dunno if he's still in New York or not, or if he's looking for me, that stuff." He nodded to show he understood, however, it was clear there was still something else on his mind. "Enough about me, are you alright?" I asked, catching him off guard.
"Oh, yeah. I'm alright." He tried to do the same smile I attempted earlier, but just as he did, I didn't fall for it.
"It's clear there's something on your mind," I gently brushed his hair off his forehead, smiling at him with sympathy.
"Well..." He began, clearly troubled. "Tomorrow is the anniversary of my sister's..." He trailed off, no longer able to look at me.
"Jacky, I'm sorry," I said, and he only glanced at me.
"It's okay, it's just a hard day for me." He sighed again, seeming mentally exhausted.
"How can I help?" I asked, and he once again looked confused.
"Huh?"
"Right, you're new at this stuff," I teased, making him chuckle. "Well, when you're real close with someone and they're upset, you want to help them feel better in any way that you can. I mean, you do it for me a lot," I explained, and he nodded.
"Right," he began to think again, his eyes looking tired. "I don't really know," his voice started to become shaky as he clearly held back tears, not wanting to seem weak.
"Maybe we could visit her grave?" He quickly looked at me again, seeming surprised.
"I haven't..." he trailed off once again, and my heart ached for him.
"Have you been there since the funeral?" He shook his head, finding it difficult to hold eye contact for long. "Well, if you think you're ready, then we can go visit her." He smiled a little and kissed me on the forehead, clearly happier than before.
"That'd be incredible," he said, and I smiled back.
"Get some sleep now, alright? Go easy on yourself." He nodded again, closing his eyes. I waited patiently for him to fall asleep, doing the same soon after.
When the bell rang the next morning Jack didn't open his eyes, clearly wishing he could go back to sleep. I gently pushed his hair off of his face, unable to help myself from smiling as the sunrise lit up his face. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and got up, grabbing him clothes for the day and setting them beside him. I sat back down and he opened his eyes, weakly smiling at me. He noticed the clothes I had set down for him and got up, rubbing his eyes.
"Thanks," he said, his voice scratchy.
I waited patiently for him to get dressed, allowing him to take his time. Once he was changed we set off toward the square, not speaking. I thought that, since this was such a difficult day, that I should be quiet unless he talked to me first, in order to not risk overwhelming him. Before we stepped in he took a deep breath, standing tall.
He was able to act like nothing was wrong, and I had to admit it surprised me. I thought just a bit of his emotions might slip at some point, but they didn't. However, I was able to tell that he was beginning to get exhausted as he slowly started to slouch, so once he sent everyone out I pulled him aside, growing concerned.
"Hey, you should take a second," I said with a smile.
"I'm fine, I don't need to," he started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm, making him look back at me.
"Yes, you do." He sighed and walked back to me, pushing his hair off his face.
"I've gone this many years without talking about it, what will one more do?" He said, but despite his efforts, I could tell he was struggling.
"One more could break you." He stared at me for a few moments as he loosened up a bit more, finally letting his guard down.
"I'm just not used to this yet," he looked down for a moment, adjusting his cap and sighing once more.
"I know, it's alright," I gave him a reassuring smile, making him smile back at me. "You ready to sell?" He nodded, standing tall again and heading out.
Once I had finished selling I immediately went home, not wanting to leave Jack alone for too long. I called to him when I reached the ladder, however, I got no response, so I knew he wasn't home yet. I waited against the ladder for only a few more minutes before he turned the corner, focusing on the ground. He smiled at me as he approached, staying silent.
"Hey," I spoke quietly, trying to make him feel comfortable.
"Hey," He said back, taking his cap off. "Can we eat dinner before we go?" He asked, and I quickly nodded.
"Of course," He climbed up the ladder, and I followed.
We ate in silence, something that we didn't often do. Usually we talked about our days, but, as I had been doing the entire day, I didn't want to push him to talk if he didn't feel like it. By the time we had finished eating it was dark out, and I was leaning against Jack as we looked at the sky. He then sighed, causing me to sit up and look at him.
"Ready?" I asked, and he nodded. "Lead the way," I smiled as he stood up, following close behind.
We walked for quite a few minutes until we were in a sketchier part of the city, and he stopped walking right in front of a house. This area of the city had skinny, compact houses, sort of like apartments in a way. I studied it, appreciating how homey it felt. It had no backyard, but it had a tiny, tiny front yard, and it was fenced in with your average metal fencing. The house was two stories tall as all of them nearby were, in order to maximize the restricted space they had. The paint on the outside of it was chipping, but you could see traces of a dark, red coat that used to be in-tact. The door was white and also had chipping paint, the window frames matching it.
"This was ours," Jack eventually broke the silence, motioning to the house we were staring at.
"Really?" I asked, and he nodded with a smile.
"No one has lived here since us because of what happened. People think it's cursed or somethin'," he sighed and put his hands in his pockets, studying his childhood home closely.
"Why don't we go in?" I said after a few moments, catching him by surprise.
"What?"
"Why don't we go inside?" I repeated, smiling at him. "You said no one lives here, why not go look around?"He glanced at the house before turning back to me, the smile on his face growing.
"You sure?" He asked, and I nodded. He walked forward and up the stairs to the door, slowly creaking it open.
As we stepped inside we were immediately greeted with what used to be a living room, but there was no furniture anywhere, of course. There were stairs leading up directly in front of the door as well, but you also had the option to walk through the living room and into the kitchen. Clearly Jack was uninterested in the two rooms before us, and, to be honest, I was as well. He went right upstairs and I followed as best I could, finding it difficult to use the stairs.
There were two doors on the left of the hallway at the top, and one on the right, with one final door at the end of said hallway. Jack stepped in the first room on the left, and as I followed, I couldn't help but smile as I saw fading blue wallpaper around the room.
"This was mine," he said, strolling around the tiny area. "Not too much to see," he joked, making the both of us laugh. He left the room and went into the next one with a bit of hesitation, his demeanor shifting a bit. "This was hers." It was smaller than the previous room, and it felt heavy. However, you could still feel that this room used to be full of life, holding many memories within it. As we left her room he gestured to the door at the end of the hall, glancing at me. "That's the bathroom, we can go now." I began to follow until I very quickly remembered that we missed a room, making me stop and point to it.
"What about this one?" I asked, and Jack stopped to look, not moving closer to it.
"That was my parent's room." He eventually came to the doorway, sighing once again. As we stared I noticed a small area of the floor was warped, seeming as though it had been damp for years. I saw Jack staring at it as well, seeming as though he was seeing something that I couldn't.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked, feeling a bit stupid as I did so.
"That's where he... Did it." He said, walking away and down the stairs. I very quickly remembered what his father had done, understanding what the warped wood was caused by. I followed him out and down the road, showing up at a cemetery just a few blocks down.
As I had been doing all night, I followed Jack in, heading to a headstone near the back. I read the other headstones as we passed, realizing his parents weren't buried in the same place his sister was. When we stopped walking the air began to feel heavy, and Jack wouldn't look at me. I looked at the headstone, my heart aching.
Rest in Peace
Sofie Kelley
The years were completely covered by overgrowth, however I remembered Jack had said she passed when she was three, meaning he was just nine. Jack was quiet for a while, just staring at it, as though he was a child again at her funeral. After a bit he looked at me, his eyes tired.
"Could you wait on the street?" He asked, his voice shaky. I nodded with a smile, trying to look as sympathetic as I could.
"Of course. Take all the time you need, alright?" He smiled back at me as I left, however, I wasn't able to get far enough away in order to be out of earshot, and thus, I heard him begin to talk to her.
"Been a while, huh?" He started, and I could tell by his tone that he had finally allowed himself to cry a little. I then put all of my focus toward listening to him, not allowing myself to have any thoughts in order to fully understand what he was going through. "You'd be eleven now. I wonder what you'd look like. You had the same colored hair as me, so maybe it'd still be that color. Sofie, I'm so..." He trailed off, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you." My heart shattered as he spoke, and I began to tear up as well. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I tried. I really, really tried, Sofie," he continued, his voice only continuing to shake. "Older brothers aren't meant to cry, are they?" He laughed a little at himself, taking a deep breath. I heard him stand up, making me get ready to hug him when he left. "I just... That's all I wanted to say. That I'm sorry, and I miss you. So much." I then heard his footsteps nearing me, and when he came into my view I smiled at him, and he smiled back. "Let's go," he said, surprising me by not reaching for a hug.
He stayed silent as we got ready for bed, but he kept his back to me when we laid down. I could tell he was still extremely upset about something else, something more than just his sister. After a few more minutes I built up all the courage I could, lightly tapping his shoulder.
"Jack, are you okay?" I asked, and he turned to face me now, visibly exhausted.
"I told her everything I wanted to," he said with a slight smile, making me smile as well. He then stared at me for a moment before I scooted closer to him, making him put his arms around me and keep me tight against his chest. "Please don't ever go," he whispered, my heart shattering once again.
"I won't. I promise." I said, holding on to his shirt as I rested my forehead on his chest.
(word count - 2387)