Criticism spot!
Crutchie's POV
I had been selling for a few weeks now and was doing pretty good, and I'm sure me having a crutch was part of how well I was doing, as people bought from me out of pity. Within the first few days of selling, though, I quickly noticed that Jack seemed slightly different when he was in front of everyone. He no longer had any sort of soft, gentle side to him, and instead seemed as though he was emotionless.
My nightmares had been getting worse recently, and I didn't know why. Every single time I'd have one, Jack would wake up as well, asking if I was alright. I'd insist that I was, and would eventually be able to convince him to go back to bed.
"Beat your ass again, Romeo," Jack joked, setting his cards down with a smile.
"Shut it," Romeo snapped back, and Race laughed as he watched. I stayed quiet, however, studying how Jack was acting.
"Hey, I get it. I'd be upset too if I kept losing," Jack continued to tease, making Romeo fake punch him.
"Alright, I'm going out for a smoke before we play another round," Race said as he stood, Romeo following. "Want one, Crutchie?" Race offered, but I shook my head. "Alright, we'll be back in a few." As the door closed behind them Jack looked at me, raising his brows a little.
"You're quiet," he said, making me look at him.
"I'm always quiet," I spoke colder than I intended, clearly catching Jack off guard a bit.
"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, glancing at the door before looking back at me.
"Nothing," Was all I said back, looking away from him. I had been here for nearly two months all together now, and Jack was getting real good at knowing if I was upset by just looking at me.
"Somethin' is clearly-"
"I said I'm fine," I snapped, and felt guilty the moment I did. With a sigh I stood up, still not looking at Jack. "I'm turning in. Night," I said, and he didn't respond.
I slipped out before Romeo and Race had come back, so I didn't pass them, and thus didn't need to explain where I was going. As I got to the ladder, instead of climbing up, I stopped and stared at it, feeling sick. I couldn't bring myself to go up, still feeling guilt about how I had snapped at Jack, so instead I walked to the end of the alley that it was in, sitting against the wall and facing the street, out of sight from the ladder.
As I sat there I couldn't stop thinking about Jack. How he acted around me versus how he acted in front of the fellas, how he seemed to care far more about me than them, how he was so nice to me. I was there for quite a while, wondering if Jack had gone up already and I just hadn't heard him, or if he was still playing. As if on cue, though, I heard footsteps nearing me, and they didn't stop at the ladder. Within a few seconds Jack turned the corner, sitting down beside me.
"I'm sorry," I said right away, looking down.
"For?" He asked, surprising me.
"Snapping at you," I looked at him as I spoke this time, seeing that he looked worried.
"It's alright," he assured me, smiling kindly. "What's bothering you?" I took a deep sigh, unsure if I should be honest or not. After a long, long pause, I decided I should be, not wanting to ruin the only friendship I had ever had.
"Why are you so different around me?" I finally asked, and I could see Jack immediately begin to think.
"I dunno," he mumbled, looking away.
"When it's just us you're caring, and you're nice, but around everyone else you're just... Cold." He looked back at me now, still visibly thinking.
"I don't know," he repeated, a bit louder this time. We sat in silence for a bit as I gave him time to think, and he eventually sighed, looking down again. "I really don't know." I felt myself grow a little angry when he repeated himself the third time, getting frustrated.
"How do you not know?" I asked, still looking at him. All he did was shrug, still not looking at me. "Come on," I said gently, not showing any anger, and he finally looked up at me, his expression now filled with rage.
"Do you want me to treat you like I treat everyone else? Is that what you fucking want?" He yelled, standing up. I immediately grew tense, feeling terrified of his sudden anger. I couldn't bring myself to say anything back, so I just stared at him, feeling as though I couldn't breathe. "I can do that for you, Crutchie," he spat, beginning to walk away. "Fuck you," was the last thing he said before turning the corner, leaving me to sit alone.
I was shaking for a while after he had left, and once I was finally able to get up, I knew I couldn't go up and sleep where I had been. Instead, I turned in the opposite direction, starting to walk back to the alley I stayed in before I had come here, tears falling down my face as I thought about what I had just ruined.
Jack's POV
As I sat in my penthouse I felt like screaming, upset at myself for how I had reacted. I knew that all he was doing was trying to understand me, but instead of letting myself be slightly vulnerable, I snapped and screamed at him, and it was real obvious that I had terrified him. I walked back and forth for a while before I had calmed down enough to go back to him, guilt weighing me down.
"Crutchie," I said as I turned the corner, but I felt my heart drop as he wasn't there. "Crutchie?" I called out, beginning to panic a little. I knew he couldn't fend for himself well out there, and was worried something could've already happened to him.
"Jack?" I heard to my right, but when I turned it was Race, walking out of the lodging house and to me. "What's wrong?" He asked, and I tried to seem calm.
"I can't find Crutchie," I said, and my voice was far, far shakier than I would've liked. Luckily, however, Race was the closest to me out of anyone, so I wasn't too embarrassed.
"I'm sure he didn't go far, just go to bed. He'll be back in the morning to sell," Race reassured me, smiling and walking back inside. I decided to believe what he said and go up to the penthouse, calming myself down.
When the morning bell rang I shot up, looking to see if he had come back in the night. When he wasn't there, however, I felt sick to my stomach, and got ready as quickly as I could. I ran to the square and waited, praying for him to show up.
As I waited and waited, though, he never did. Usually I'd stop to talk to some of the guys before sending them out, but today I wasted no time and sent them out quickly, taking off to the one place I knew to look.
Crutchie's POV
When I woke up the next morning back in my old spot, I was disappointed to learn the previous night hadn't been a bad dream. I began to think about Jack, and almost immediately began to cry as I did. He was the closest thing to a friend I had ever had, and I threw it all away.
After a few more minutes of crying to myself, I got up, seeming weighed down by how upset I was. I started to walk to where I used to shine shoes, feeling miserable as I did so. I kept trying to put Jack out of my mind, but he would just creep back in, making me tear up.
As I began to walk, though, an unusual amount of pain shot through my leg, making me stop dead in my tracks and hold myself up on a nearby trashcan as I waited for it to pass. While I did, I heard someone enter the alleyway, and began to panic as I assumed it was the boys who used to take my tips. The pain wasn't passing yet, and thus I couldn't turn around, so I just waited for them to attack me.
"Crutchie?" I heard, making me freeze and nearly forget about my leg. I turned around to see Jack at the end of the alley, standing there.
"... Jack?" I said, wondering if I was dreaming. He then ran down the alley and hugged me, but for a second, I didn't hug him back, as I was so surprised by how he was acting. But, eventually I threw my arms around him, beginning to sob.
"I'm sorry," I said into the crook of his neck, unable to let go.
"No, I'm the one who needs to apologize," he said, taking me by surprise. He let go of me and I did the same to him, backing up and wiping my face. "I've just," he began, taking a deep breath as he continued to look at me. "I've never been... Open with anyone, and I just... Panicked." He finally got out, and I could tell he was being genuine by how upset he looked. "I have this tough-guy reputation to keep up, but for some reason, when I'm alone with you, I feel okay not being... That." He spoke a little slowly, clearly finding it difficult.
"How about this," I started, smiling at him. "We go home and you tell me stuff you've never told anyone, unless you ain't comfortable with that," I quickly said, and he began to smile a little. "That way you'll feel more okay being open around me." I finished, still smiling.
"I can try," he said, and we began to walk home in silence, and I could feel a weight get lifted off my shoulders.
When we got back home we sat down and faced one another, and I could tell Jack was nervous. He laughed a little at himself, making me laugh as well.
"I've never done anything like this," he said quietly, looking at me.
"Me either," I said, making Jack more comfortable. "How about we tell each other about what our childhoods were like?" I offered, and Jack nodded. "I can start so you feel better about sharing," I continued to smile at him, wanting him to feel safe.
"Sure," was all he said, smiling back.
"Well, just know that the point of me sharin' is so that you can be more open, so I ain't gonna hold back," I said, and he nodded again. "Ready?"
"Go for it," he smiled bigger, and I took a deep, deep breath.
"I've never told anyone this, so it might take me a second to find the right words," I started, looking down as I thought. "So, I grew up here in New York with my Mom and Dad." I said, beginning to feel nervous about what I was about to share. "My life was pretty normal, I went to school, my Dad worked, my Mom took care of the house and me," I smiled a bit as I thought about my Mom, not looking at Jack as I prepared to get personal. "But, my Dad had a drinking problem. He'd drink every night and when he did, he was quick to anger." I looked up at him now, seeing that he was listening closely. "He'd beat my Mom and I on the daily," I finally got out, tearing up a little as I thought about it all. "And, when I was seven, I got home from school and my Mom was just... Gone." I felt a few tears roll down my face as I spoke quieter, no longer able to look at Jack. "She had left because she couldn't take my Dad's beatings anymore, but she didn't take me with. When my Dad got home that night..." I trailed off, everything replaying in my head. "That was the worst beating I'd ever had. He actually broke my leg, and that's when I started having issues with this foot. I suppose it never really healed right, and I was totally unable to use it a few days before you found me. I just kind of... Took his beatings, and eventually got the courage to run away with I was twelve. So... Skip forward to age sixteen, and I'm here," I finally finished, looking up at Jack.
"Are your nightmares of your Dad?" He asked, and I slowly nodded. He then took a deep breath, brushing his hair back. "I guess it's my turn, huh?" He said, and I nodded.
"Take your time," I smiled kindly, waiting patiently.
"Well..." He started, looking to the skyline as he thought. "I had a pretty normal life for a while too, and when I was six, my Mom told me I was gonna have a younger sibling," he smiled as he spoke, looking back at me. "I remember being so excited. I didn't even care if it was a boy or girl, I just wanted to have someone to play with. No matter the gender, I was gonna make them learn how to play baseball," he laughed a little, making me laugh as well. His smile quickly dropped however, and he looked down. "My Mom went to the hospital when she started havin' the baby, and I just sat in the waiting room alone, since I wasn't allowed back. It took hours, but my Dad finally showed up from the room, but he didn't look happy." I saw Jack begin to tear up a bit now, which surprised me. "Since I was just six, almost seven, though, I didn't really pick up on it, so I ran up to him and asked if it was a boy or girl, begging to see my Mom. He sat me down slowly and stared at me, and I'll never forget the look in his eyes." He looked at me and tensed up. "Sorry, I should stop," he said, his voice shaky.
"Jack, I'm not going to judge. Look at me," I said, motioning to my foot. "I'm not really in the place to do so," I laughed at myself which made him laugh too, and he took a deep breath again.
"You sure?" He asked, and I nodded. "Well, he had this look in his eyes that was like..." He hesitated, looking as though he was shot back in time to that day. "It looked like he wasn't in the same world I was. His eyes were glazed over and he seemed broken. He stared at me for a few seconds before he just bluntly said, 'she died,'" Jack got out, not looking at me. "My Mom had died while giving birth. Thankfully, my little sister lived, but it was obviously extremely hard on both my Dad and myself." He glanced at me, a single tear falling down his face. "My Dad had to pick up a second job to provide for both of us, and when she was three, my sister got extremely, extremely sick. It was horrifying to watch. She was this little girl who beamed positivity, who was full of energy, but then she just started to fall apart. And she was only three." He stared straight ahead as he talked, seeming as though he was picturing it. "She grew weaker every day, and eventually no longer wanted to play at all. She was the only happiness I had in my life, because after my Mom died, my Dad was never happy again. One morning, I went in to her room to say good morning, but she didn't even look at me. I may have only been ten, but I knew what had happened before I even checked. I ran to my Dad and screamed for him to get up, but he wouldn't. He didn't believe me. I ran to the neighbors and pounded on their door, and when they answered I just screamed 'my sister isn't breathing, please, help me,'" a few more tears fell now, and despite what he was saying, I somehow was able to feel a little happy since I could tell he was fully comfortable at this moment. "The Mom in that house followed me inside while her husband got a doctor, but there wasn't anything they could do. I kept shaking her and begging her to wake up, and I could tell that the adults were heartbroken for me. Eventually my Dad came into the room to see the commotion, and all he did was stand in the doorway and stare, looking like he had just seen a ghost. I yelled for him to help her since I was still in denial, but he just slowly walked out again, leaving the neighbors to care for me. As we waited for a doctor to come and get her body, we, uh..." He trailed off, staring at the ground. "We heard a gunshot from my Dad's room." He finished, looking at me. "Holy shit," he said, wiping his face dry. "That felt so good to get off my chest," he said with a smile, not breaking eye contact.
"Tell me about her," I said with a smile, and his dropped.
"Who?" He asked, raising his brows.
"Your sister, tell me about her," I said, and his smile once again reappeared as he thought about her.
"Her name was Sofie," he began, and I felt my heart flutter when I saw him remember her so fondly. "She looked like me if I was a girl, I swear if she was just a few years older people would've thought we were twins." He continued, unable to stop smiling. "Since my Dad was always busy, I took care of her. I tried to teach her how to read earlier than other kids, I taught her how to play tons of games, but of course she wasn't that good since she was three," he laughed, and I did the same. "But I still tried anyways. Whenever she'd get hurt I was the one to care for her. I was extremely protective of her, so seeing her grow weaker and knowing I couldn't do anything was hard. Somehow, though, through the entire time she was dying, she kept a smile on her face. Maybe it was because she was so young, but she always seemed happy." He looked at me, still smiling.
"I feel a bit honored to be the only one to hear that," I said with a smirk, unable to take my eyes off him.
"I never thought it'd feel that good to get off my chest," he said, his smile growing.
"I'm glad I could help."
We spent the rest of the day sharing stories to one another that others had never heard, and that feeling of honor stuck with me the whole time. Unfortunately, though, it got late, and I was unable to keep myself awake anymore. We reluctantly went to bed, both falling asleep with smiles on our faces.
(word count - 3186)