"You look like death."
Joshua Matthews snapped his head up to see the blond that had occupied his thoughts over the last few months. He gave her a sarcastic smile as she set a hot chocolate down in front of him beside the other three coffee mugs that he already downed earlier.
"On the house." She told him when he went to protest. Josh slowly closed his mouth as he looked her up and down, she looked cute in her little waist apron and name tag. "What are you doing here so late?" She asked. Josh shrugged his shoulders.
"Andrew is entertaining at the moment." Maya snorted. "I can't go back to my dorm room for a while." He looked back at her apron and name tag. "Since when do you work?" He asked as he brought the coffee up to his lips gratefully.
"Since I need money for college." Maya told him as she slipped into the both across from him. She gave him a once over. "Having trouble sleeping?" She asked. Josh shrugged his shoulders.
"Something like that." He told her. Maya raised an eyebrow as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.
He had dark circles and lines on his face. His hair was even more messy than usual and his eyes were red-rimmed. He almost looked like he was sick.
"College that brutal, huh?" Maya asked as she felt slight panic rise in her chest. She wanted to keep the conversation light, but she also felt as if it would be nice to know if college was going to be like this for her.
"Nah, at least not this bad." He told her. He noticed how panicked her eyes looked, even though she tried to hide it. He gave her a smile. "Don't worry, gorgeous, you'll have plenty of sleepless nights of studying of your own."
"Can't wait." She joked with him. "Is something wrong?" She asked him more seriously. Josh sighed as he suddenly picked at the lid of his hot chocolate.
"Just having a lot of trouble sleeping at night." He told her. When he didn't elaborate after a moment, Maya spoke.
"Too many late night parties." She suggested. Josh snorted.
"You know me, Just your average party animal." He said dryly. Maya stared at him for a moment, and suddenly she felt stupid. He obviously didn't want to talk about it, and it wasn't her business to pry.
"Well, let me know if you need a refill on that drink." She winked at him before sliding out of the booth and back over towards behind the counter.
Josh smiled at her as she left. He sighed again and rested his head in his hands for a moment. He would love nothing more than to go to sleep. But he couldn't. Every time he tried he would find his mind too busy to shut up.
He had too much on his mind. Too much to comprehend. Nobody should be this stressed and exhausted at only twenty one.
Josh looked back up and over at Maya. She was smiling and laughing at something one of her customers had said as she took their payment at the cash register.
Josh didn't like talking about his problems. Not to anyone, really. He was a very private person. He didn't like it when someone else tried to pry into his personal life. There were only a handful of people that he would ever go to in his life if he just really needed advise of someone to talk to. But that was it. Most of the time he bottled everything up.
But lately. It's been different. He hasn't wanted to go to anyone else about his problems. He hadn't wanted to go to the same people that he would have gone to before. The only person that he seemed to want to share everything with was currently wiping down countertops.
Josh smiled. Who knows, maybe she could help.
He slid out of the booth and made his way over to where she was. He took the seat at the counter and rested his forearms on top of where she just wiped, causing her to give him a slight glare. But he couldn't really bring himself to care at the moment.
"Have you ever had trouble sleeping at night?" He asked her. Maya raised an eyebrow as she continued to wipe down the counter.
"You mean like nightmares?" She asked him.
"Not exactly." He stated. Then he raised an eyebrow. "You have nightmares?" He asked.
"Everyone has nightmares, Josh." She told him. He didn't pry further.
"Have you ever just tried to go to sleep and just couldn't. Like you have way too much on your mind and your brain just won't shut off. Even when you're so exhausted." He said. Maya stopped wiping the counters and mirrored his position by leaning down and resting her forearms on the counter. Both of their faces only about a foot apart.
"You mean like insomnia." She stated. Josh paused for a moment before nodding his head.
"Yeah, yeah I guess so." Maya sighed as she thought for a moment.
"I guess right before Shawn came into my life. I used to spend my time up on the roof of my apartment building drawing because I was too worried about what my future was going to be like." Maya admitted. Josh felt relief flood through his body.
"Exactly. Even though your future might be set in front of you, you still fear the unexpected." Josh clarified.
"Is that why you aren't getting any sleep at night? You're worried about where you're going to end up after college?" Maya asked him with confusion laced in her tone. Josh was one of the most well put together human beings she'd ever met. Even more so than Cory.
"I just-" he cut himself off with a yawn. Maya frowned as he ran a hand through his hair before chugging down the rest of his coffee. "I sometimes feel like I won't live up to my family's expectations."
Maya couldn't help it, she snorted.
"You're joking." She said with a laugh still on her face. Josh gave her a look. Her laughter died down. "Josh you have to be kidding." She said more seriously.
"Eric is the president of his own town. Cory has his own family with a successful teaching career. Morgan is traveling around the world promoting her own clothing line. My parents have been successful in owning their own business. And then there's me." Josh listed off. Maya lowered her head so that his eyes would be level with hers.
"Yeah. Then there's you. Joshua Matthews who is currently a straight A student in one of the biggest schools in the country. Studying to be a big time lawyer while also studying criminology and psychology on the side. You're parents raised four very successful kids. That's pretty badass to me." Maya assured him. Josh gave her a half smile.
"You're biased." He joked.
"Towards your family, hell yes I am." She stated. "You Matthews are some of the most incredible people on the face of this planet and you don't even realize it."
"College is hard." Josh sighed.
"Life is hard." Maya retorted. "But if you're lucky enough, you get surrounded by people who loves you enough to not let you walk through it alone."
Josh looked up and stared at her for a moment. A small smile twitched at the corner of his lips.
"You know," he started. "I'm beginning to question who the wiser one really is between the two of us." Maya rolled her eyes.
"You really are too hung up on this age thing." He grinned at her. "Did you come out of your mother deciding that you were always going to be an adult?" She asked sarcastically.
"Oh yeah. From the moment I took my first breath I knew that I would be above all those other preschoolers I had nap time with." Josh told her sarcastically. Maya shook her head.
"You know, you should really let yourself just enjoy life. It's not right that you put yourself through so much. You're in college, Josh. You have the whole rest of your life to figure stuff out. Slow down, take deep breaths, enjoy the moment." Maya grinned at herself.
"Did you get that off of a fortune cookie?" Josh asked her. Maya faked a gasp.
"Why yes, actually, I did." She grinned at him as she held up a small piece of paper. Josh squinted to read the words. Slow down, take deep breaths, enjoy the moment. Josh playfully glared at her.
"And here I was praising you for your grown up maturity." He was being sarcastic, but it still earned him a glare from Maya. "To think that none of your advice was original."
"It's still pretty damn good advice. Even if it did come from a cliche edible treat." Maya pointed her finger at him before she stood up straight from leaning against the counter tops and going over to the muffin jar. She pulled one out and set it on a napkin in front of Josh. "Eat." She stated. "It's not good for you to have so much coffee and not eat something with it."
"Yes mom." He sighed. Maya shook her head as she untied her waitress apron and folded it neatly to sit under the counter.
"I've got to close up soon. You should head back to campus. Try to get some sleep." Josh chuckled at the thought. "Hey," he looked up to meet her eyes. "No more studying tonight." He gave her sheepish smile.
"It's not the studying that keeps me up at night. I literally can't turn my brain off." His irritation from earlier was back.
"Have you tried melatonin?" She asked. He grimaced.
"Yes. And it just makes me groggy the next day. Like I'm hungover." Josh couldn't stand melatonin. It worked for most people, but not for him. Definitely not for him.
"You know what you need?" Maya asked him. "You need tea. Not coffee or hot chocolate." Before Josh could say anything, Maya grabbed the cup that he had and took it away from him before he could take another sip.
"Maya," Josh and Maya both looked up to see Topanga standing at the side smiling. "Why don't you two head out. I can finish up here for the night." There was a certain gleam she had in her eye as she looked at them.
"You heard the boss lady." Maya smiled. "Come on." She walked around the counter and grabbed Josh's hand to pull him away.
They stopped at his table so he could pack all his stuff together and put it back in his bag. Maya walked back around the counter to grab her things as well.
Topanga winked at Josh as Maya grabbed his arm and continued to pull him out of the cafe. Once they had gotten on the street, she let go of his arm and they fell in step beside each other.
"So how exactly is tea supposed to help me?" Josh asked as he shoved his hands into his jacket pocket.
"When I was younger and couldn't sleep, my mom would always make me this vanilla spice tea. It usually did the trick. One cup and I was out like a light." Maya explained.
"And you think that's going to help me?" He asked her with an eyebrow raise.
"You questioning my methods, boing?" She asked him sarcastically. He rolled his eyes.
"All I'm saying is what works for you might not work for me." He told her. Though he was desperate enough to try anything at this point.
"Maybe it won't. But at least you can say you've tried it. And if it doesn't work then we'll figure something else out." Josh looked over at her and felt warmth spread through his body against the cold harsh New York wind.
"Why are you helping me with this?" He asked.
"Because your brain is telling you that you're worthless. And I've devoted my life to defeating anything or anyone that tells you that. So now I see it as a challenge." Josh looked at her as if she were crazy. "That and I don't think you'll be of much use when you go to take your final exams next week and you're drooling all over the paper." Josh bumped his shoulder into hers causing her to stumble a little.
A few minutes later and they were entering her apartment. Josh wasn't sure why this didn't cross his mind. He just followed Maya, he didn't question it. Just like he didn't question following her into the apartment, or setting his stuff down by the door.
"Shawn is away on an assignment. He's getting to stay for free at the hotel so he took my mom with him so they could have some time together." Maya explained. "Sit." She pointed at the couch.
Josh sat down on the couch and sighed as he realized just how truly exhausted he was. He ran his hands up and down his face, wanting to Will himself to go to sleep. He knew this wasn't healthy.
The silence that echoed through the apartment almost seemed deafening. Josh sat back to where his head was on the arm rest and the his whole body was sprawled out on the couch. He had a great view of the kitchen, which was where Maya was currently fixing him his tea.
These moments were dangerous for Josh. These were the moments where he forgot about everything except for her. Where there was no high school/college age gap, no over protective best friends or fathers to walk in. There was nobody here. They were by themselves, a whole apartment by themselves.
Josh literally had to shake his head to t ray band get the thoughts out of his head as his mind started going to more detailed imaginative's.
"Here you go." Maya broke him out of his thoughts as she set the mug of tea down on the coffee table. Josh shifted his legs further towards the back of the couch so Maya could sit on the edge beside him.
Josh glanced at the tea before he took it by the handle and brought it up to his lips. It tasted very sweet, it was good.
"Drink that and see if it helps in the next little bit. You can crash here for the night, seeing as how Andrew is entertaining." She couldn't help but laugh at the end of her statement.
Josh continued to stare at her. She was gorgeous. Of course, he already had acknowledged this. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked when he saw her at the Christmas party for the first time in years. It was so long ago, but it almost felt like yesterday.
She continued to grow more and more beautiful by the day, causing him to hate himself for not making a move on her when he's had so many chances. But there was still so much to think about. Age wasn't really the issue any longer. Not since she turned eighteen.
It was everything else that his brain seemed to throw his way whenever he thought about her. Family, friends, different schools. What if she were to choose to go to NYU just because he was there? What if that's not what she really wanted? He couldn't make that choice for her. If she wanted to go to a different college then she should be free to do that. He shouldn't be the thing that stands In her way, he wouldn't be.
"Josh?" Maya questioned as she stared at him, her eyebrows narrowed, her nice crinkled. "Why are you staring at me like that?" She asked. She tilted her head at him.
And suddenly, with just one look, that look. The one she was giving him now. All the screaming that his brain had been doing just abruptly stopped. Everything, for the first time in days, was suddenly silent.
"Fuck it." He mumbled, and he sat up so abruptly that Maya didn't have any time to react before his lips were on hers.
Her whole body tensed up, she froze like a statue as he kissed her gently. It only took her a moment before she started kissing him back. Josh brought his hand up to rest on her cheek, his thumb creasing her cheek lightly as he tilted his head and deepened it.
His tongue poked out and brushed against her bottom lip, she granted him entrance immediately, and suddenly they both felt like they were on fire.
After a moment or two, they pulled away. Their faces were still inches apart as Josh rubbed down her cheek and let the pad of his thumb brush against her bottom lip.
"What was that?" She whispered. He could practically hear how loud her heart was beating, or maybe that was his. He wasn't entirely sure anymore.
"I make really impulsive decisions when I'm tired." He whispered back.
"Meaning you might wake up in the morning when you've had more sleep and regret this." She gave him a sad smile. Josh shook his head.
"I could never regret myself for something like this." He told her lightly. "But I did just probably caused something that I'm not sure if I'll be able to walk away from."
"Then don't." She challenged. He could see the seriousness, the desire and most importantly, the hope that was swirling around in her pupils.
"C'mere." He whispered before tugging on her arm and pulling her closer to his so he could lean back in and kiss her again. Maya shuddered against his lips as she brought her hands up to his shoulders to stead herself, his arm wrapping around her waist to bring her even closer.
"Maybe you should get sleep deprived more often." Maya giggled breathlessly as she pulled away. He hummed as his node grazed her jaw before he trailed kissed down her neck.
"I'm really tired." He told her. Maya grinned as she tucked her neck down so he couldn't go any further. He pouted as he pulled away.
"Does that mean the tea is helping?" She asked. He shook his head.
"No. But you are." Maya ran a hand through his hair, Josh closed his eyes and focused on the way her touch seemed to make him lose all sense of reality.
"I'll get you a blanket." She whispered. She went to get up but his hand caught her wrist and he shook his head.
"Stay with me." He told her. Maya's breath hitched.
"You really are delirious." She stated. Josh shook his head.
"Please?" He whispered. Maya bit her lip. She smiled at him as he tried to lean back in and kiss her again.
"Lay down." She told him. "I'll get you a blanket." She got off the couch and walked over to the hall closet. She grabbed a blanket and an extra pillow before making her way back into the living room.
Josh was waiting for her, his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. Maya walked over and tossed the pillow on his chest. He smiled at her as he sat up and placed it under his head before laying back down. He opened his arms up and nodded towards her to come closer. Maya's cheeks flushed red.
"I need to go change." Josh let out a groan that she ignored before she walked down the hall and into her room. She took a few deep breaths. This was actually happening.
She changed into sweats and a tank top before throwing her clothes into the hamper in the corner of her room. And, because this was the first time her and Josh would be doing anything like this, she couldn't help but have a little battle on if she should wear her hair up or down.
"I'm being ridiculous." Maya stated as she glared at herself in the mirror. She finally decided to just wear her hair up in a pony tail before she finished her nightly routine and started out the door and back into the living room.
Maya smiled at Josh as she got closer to the couch. He was already passed out. His mouth was slightly open and one arm was dangling off the side of the couch. Maya grabbed the blanket and gently placed it over him. She couldn't help but run her hand through his hair one more time before she went to get up and head to her room. But as she started away, Josh's hand reached up and grabbed onto her wrist again.
"Stay." He stated, his voice already groggy from sleep. "Please." Maya felt like her heart was racing a thousand miles per minute.
"Okay." She whispered back. Josh looked at her through his eyelashes before he pulled the blanket back. Maya got in, thinking she was going to just lay beside him. But obviously he had other ideas.
Josh pulled her on top of him, shifting them to where their legs were tangled together and she had her head resting on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled his face in her neck. Maya pulled the blanket overtop of them before wrapping her arm around his torso.
Nothing else was said, nothing else had to be said. And as they both drifted off to sleep, Josh couldn't help but think this had to be the closest thing to heaven on earth.
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Thanks for reading!