I woke up panting I looked down to see my shirt soaked in sweat I hopped out of bed and headed to Ellie's room
I peaked into see she was sleeping peacefully I took a breath of relief I closed her door peacefully
I went into the kitchen leaning on the counter sipping on water trying to process the horrible dream I had
Just went Tk came through the door
"Baby? What are you doing up it's 4 in the morning?" Tk said making his way over to me
"I had a dream Ellie had a seizure again and I did nothing to help her ." I said staring at the counter
"And that's the thing you always help her with her seizures.." I said once again
"Carlos you help her all the time with them, the other day you came up with a way for her to take her pill to prevent the happening I didn't do that that was you ." Tk said rubbing my back
"And Carlos nobody's expecting you to be a paramedic you help her with so many things ."
"I just feel like a crappy parent." I said rubbing my eyes
"Carlos your not a crappy parent Ellie loves you and I've seen you with her your the best dad anyone could ask for alright ?" Tk said kissing my head
"Cmon imma run you a bath ." Tk said as he grabbed my hand
Tk ran me a bath I got in the tub looking up at the ceiling trying to process what he had said
"Alright call me if you need anything okay ?" Tk said as he left the bathroom
I wanted to be there for Ellie ,Tk ,my parents but the past few days it's been hitting me hard I feel like I've been letting everyone down
I submerged my head under the water as I felt the day wash over me
"Tk...." I called lightly
He came into the bathroom
"Baby you okay?" He asked bending down next to the tub
"..No.." I said as a tear rolled down my face
"Let's talk ." Tk said whipping the tear from my face
Tk helped me out of the tub
I got dressed and headed into the bedroom as Tk cleaned up the bathroom
Tk came in and sat on the bed looking at me
"Talk to me Carlos .." Tk said
"I don't even know what to say .."
"I wanna be there for you and Ellie but am I really even there ?"
"I spend time with Ellie but I still don't feel like I'm there for her and I didn't even ask you how you felt after my accident ."
"Carlos - you don't need to ask me how I'm doing I'm fine but you need to help yourself before you try and help others... you need to let me help you .. and I can't do that if you won't let me in ....." Tk said
"I'm scared ..." I said as Tk stroked my cheek
"I'm scared that I'll get beat up at work again , I'm scared that Ellie will have another seizure, I'm scared that you'll get hurt ...I'm scared that I'll leave u and Ellie .." I said
" your not gonna leave us Carlos you could have that day but you didn't you fought through."
"Last time I was beaten like that was before I got adopted by my parents ..."
"But your here now because no matter how bad you were hurting you wanted to make it home to us..."
"Carlos your a great dad and a great husband don't ever doubt that ..."
"Your a survivor Carlos .. say it ." Tk said looking at me
"Cmon you can do it ." Tk said once again
"I'm a survivor." I said as Tk hugged me