Mikki De'lucca
.. L a t e r t h a t a f t e r n o o n..
While Colt disappears outside to secure the property, letting loose the horses before locking down the barn and stables, you sit patiently on the edge of the tub in Juliette's bathroom as she finishes coloring your hair.. The gentle stroke of her fingers against your scalp is calming and kind and she hums happily as she works.. "You're brave to undergo such a big change! But I think you're gonna look amazing!!" She gives your shoulder a little squeeze as she smiles at you in the reflection of the mirror.. "Ain't nobody gonna recognise you neither, that's for sure!"
"I've never been blonde before.." You eye her nervously.. "I don't know if I can pull it off like you.. I'm not exactly the Barbie-doll type.."
Juliette giggles.. "Oh and I am?.. Do I look like a Barbie-doll to you?.."
You look her up and down with a smirk.. "Yeah pretty much, Rodeo-Barbie.. She even comes with her own pony.."
She giggles.. "Aw shucks.. You're real cute girl.. I spoze' there are worse comparisons and you know what they say, us blondes have the most fun! You're gonna love it, trust me.." She winks sarcastically and continues to beam her pageant-worthy smile, giving you no choice but to agree.. How could you not?
She's just so damn nice..
You place both feet on the cool tiles, turning to look up at her.. "I trust you, Juliette.. I really do.. Which is why I need to apologise.. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you who I am.. Who my family are.. It was just nice to have a friend who was able to be real with me for a change.. One who wasn't afraid of me.."
She clicks her tongue.. "Awe, Mikki, I ain't afraid of you, sweetie-pie.."
You frown at her.. "Well.. You should be, to be honest the fact that you're so calm, is kinda freaking me out.. I never meant for any of this to happen.. I hate that you have to leave your home because of me..I hate that I had to lie to you.. Mostly I just hate that it isn't safe for us to be friends.."
She shakes her head.. "You'd be surprised by some of the things I've seen, Sweetie.. I know Paw seems like a silly old man now.. But-- growing up-- well.. Let's just say he was never exactly on the straight and narrow.. And Colt.. He hasn't always been the way he is today.. We didn't exactly come from law abiding stock.. Everybody has a past, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, Mikki! Colt would never have brought you here if that were true.. He just wouldn't.." She sounds so absolutely sure.. As if it would be impossible for Colt to have made that kind of mistake..
You sigh hopefully, her words giving you a little confidence.. But it's all so confusing since The Cowboy hasn't really spoken to you since this morning.. It's like he has been avoiding you.. Or maybe you are being selfish in your thinking again.. Or maybe he is just preoccupied with trying to clean up all your messes.. "Maybe.. But I think he regrets it.. I think he probably regrets a lot of things.."
"Like, what kind of things?" She asks openly, motioning you over to the dining chair she had placed by the sink, so that she can rinse the toner from your hair..
"Umm.. Just-- all of it.." You move into position, leaning your head back as she uses a small plastic cup to pour warm water though your lightened locks.. "Me.. Him.. Us.. All of it.. It just feels like maybe he is holding back.. I don't know.."
"You got a real fancy for him, huh?.." She winks down at you..
"What?" You scrunch your nose, not entirely understanding her words through the drawl of her thick-honeyed accent..
She teases you playfully.. "You know.. A fancy.. A little knot in your knickers.. A quiver in your cooter.. A quake in your kitty.. A bone in your beaver--"
"Oh my god, Jules!" You snort, unable to hold in a burst of giggles.. "Will you stop with that!"
She shuts off the tap and grins, reaching for a towel.. "Oooh, girl, you are turning red!! Whatever happened out there in those woods must have been something else to have you blushing like this.. "
You giggle as she begins to roughly rub at your head with the towel, stirring you up in a way you imagine a sister would, if you'd had one.. "Nothing happened!" You sit up to shove her away, taking the towel to dry your hair yourself, wrapping it up turban-style atop your head..
She pulls a mocking face and pokes you in your exposed, ticklish ribs.. "No way, nothing my ass.. C'mon, I don't get cable out here, you gotta dish a girl some dirt! You have to at least tell me if you liked it?"
You nod, feeling suddenly shy, but finding it impossible to be dishonest with Juliette.. Even though you come from two different worlds, you understand her.. And she understands you in ways other's never will.. Shared experience has brought you both to a bond that feels kismet.. Meant to be.. "Okay, okay.. Yeah.. I really liked it.. It was-- unforgettable.."
You find yourself understating, because words will never describe just how mind-blowing last night had been..
A haze of skin and sweat soaked lust, falling into the madness until your thoughts became emptied of everything but him.. Colt had channeled a sinful inner sex-god to decode every inch of you, with a determination and stamina like you've never known..
When you say you will never forget last night.. You mean the WHOLE night.. Because that's how long he endured to entertain you..
The wildest ride of your life..
She grins with a joyous whoop.. "Aw yeah, ride em cowgirl.."
"Shhhh! My God, you're unbelievable!" You pick up a tube of her vanilla scented cosmetic lotion and begin applying it to your cheeks, smoothing over your soft rosy skin, leaving it hydrated and dewy..
"Am not! I'm just living vicariously through ya'll.." She pokes out her tongue.. "I don't think I've seen Colt chase a girl in... Ever.. They always come to him.. And lately.. Nobody's been coming around at all, if you know what I mean.."
The idea that The Cowboy isn't seeing other women, while unbelievable, is not unwelcome, still you can't help but wonder if she is telling the truth, or if she is just an expert wing woman.. "I'm not following.. There's no way he hasn't--"
Juliette just shrugs.. "All I'm saying is somebody around here should be getting some, cus lord knows it ain't me!"
You avoid looking her directly in her eye as you move for a change of subject, unsure what the outcome of bringing up her personal life will be since last time she had evaded any answer.. But you go for it anyway.. After all, she knows all your secrets.. "Why are you trying to live through my escapades anyway?.. You should be out having your own scandalous romp in the woods.. Maybe with a certain sexy Ranch-hand?"
She scrunches her nose pointing you toward the vanity draws where you begin to search through her sparse collection of makeup.. "A romp with a Ranch-hand? Pfft.. That doesn't sound very sexy.. I doubt we'd end up on the front page or anything!" She wiggles her dainty blonde brows, making light of all the chaos you've caused..
You love her all the more for that..
"Ha ha, very funny.." You scrunch your nose up at the mention of your little peep show spread around the bloggosphere.. "You're sweet, Juliette.. But you're a really bad liar.. I can tell you miss Jameson.. Why don't you just call him? What did you two fight about?"
She sighs sitting down on the edge of the tub to watch as you rifle through her beauty products to paint your face.. If you can't feel good, you might as well look good..
"He said he loves me.." She grumbles angrily..
You pause your mascara application to stare at her in confusion.. "Uhh.. So? Isn't that a good thing?"
She shakes her head dramatically.. "No.. It's way too much and he knows it.. I made it clear to him that I didn't want a relationship.. We weren't even supposed to be hooking up, and then he had to go and fall in love?! After that, things got weird-- tense.. He wasn't happy, I wasn't happy.. It just didn't work anymore.. So, I told him to leave.." She begins to pick at the worn out holes in the knees of her jeans as she tucks her legs up.."But then he actually left.. I didn't think he would.. Which was stupid of me but-- whatever.. Now I'm pissed at him because if he had just kept his mouth shut like I told him too, we could have stayed friends and everything wouldn't have had to change.. He wrecked everything.." The finishes, looking up at you with sad, seeking eyes..
You aren't exactly sure if it's your place to say anything at all, but the compulsion overpowers your common senses.. "Jules.. You know that's fucking crazy, right?" You scoff at the hypocrisy of her rational..
She chuckles dryly, but not in offence.. "Aw, gee thanks, Mikki!"
You persist to explain yourself better.. "No-- You know-- That doesn't make sense.. Juliette, things change, feelings happen, people fall in love.. You can't put parameters and conditions on life, and you can't just let it all pass you by because you're afraid to open up and feel again.. I know it hurts.. But that pain, it won't kill you.. It will only remind you that what you and Kane had was good, and it was real.. Sure, you can close yourself off to heartbreak and loss by locking everybody out, but you miss out on everything amazing in the process.. A life without love, that's not living.. Take it from me, because that's exactly what I've been doing, and all it's done is nearly get me killed.. Like, five times now!"
She wipes her eyes.. "It's just that.. I don't know how to let him go.."
You drop down to your knees on the floor beside her, taking both her hands in yours.. "You don't ever have to let him go, babe.. You can love him and keep his memory alive for as long as you live.. He will never leave you.. But you can also make room in that great big heart of yours for someone new.. Somebody who loves you, and wants to see you shine.. Maybe someone like Jameson.. You don't have to make a choice Juliette, if he's a half decent guy he will understand.. And you have enough love to share, I just know you do.."
She smiles nervously.. "I'm not talking about Kane, Mikki.. I'm talking about Colt..."
You blink, climbing to your feet, completely caught off guard.. "Colt?.. Oh.. But, Juliette-- I didnt think--"
She jumps to her feet.. "No, not like that..,I'm not 'in love' with him.. But-- Mikki, I do love him.. Its just.. We've been together for so long and we've been through so much.. When I say I rely on him, I don't think you understand just how much.. I rely on Colt for just about everything.. He is the only person I've been able to depend on.. I'm scared of losing him.. With Jameson pushing for more and you coming along, I can't stop thinking about how everything is going to change.. But-- I want him to be happy.. I do.. I want both of you to be happy, Mikki.."
You take her hands in yours, understanding her need to hold on tightly to the people she loves.. You have so few of them left yourself.. But control, that is something you long ago came to grips with as a power you never had.. Not once in your entire life were you in control.. Angelo raised you how he saw fit, under his rule. As you got older, sure you rebelled, you tried to gain back some of that control when you met Charles..
But even then, Charlie made the decisions in your relationship.. And you'd let him.. Because everything he did, you believed he did in an effort to keep you safe.. Still, the keyword there is 'keep'..
You have forgiven the man his flaws, but the truth is, Charles kept you in the dark, to keep you safe.. And look at how well that turned out..
Control is just a construct we tell ourselves we have, because without it, everything is just random dots to connect with no destination..
You squeeze her fingers in yours, blinking back your empathetic tears..
"Juliette, we don't get to know what will happen next.. But I know Colt loves you, I don't believe that will ever change.. Now Jameson loves you.. And well.. I love you too.. Babe, you aren't letting anybody go.. You've only got everything to gain.."
She sniffs before a soft smile pulls at her lips and her candlelight eyes brighten once again.. "So do you, Mikki.. Aw, gosh.. I'm so glad we met, I've never had a friend like you.. I hope you'll come back to Riverland soon.."
You nod hopefully as she pulls you in for a bleachy scented embrace.. "Me too.. I'd really love that, Jules.."