Los Olivos, California
Annalisa Green -- May 15th, 1995
Location: 5225 Figueroa Mountain Rd.
I spent a few minutes, touching up my hair in the mirror, before heading out and back on set. Since giving birth to Mesini the media wouldn't leave us alone. Every time we'd open our eyes, the first thing we would see was our managers waving yet another contract in our faces. I'd decline them of course, but for some reason, Michael would insist we'd do it anyway. Then we'd engage in an intense argument about why it was important that we shouldn't tell the media our business.
I never knew how to react around that man. He was big on privacy. It was his idea that we would all wear masks when we'd go out with our child, but then he turns around and agree to another pointless interview. I was confused more than I was upset. It was like he enjoyed pretending to be this big happy family, knowing that behind the scenes, we were just another broken couple.
Even now, on another episode of "Faking with the Jackson/Green Family", we were due for another couple's photoshoot. People's Magazine has shown their endless support for Michael and I, and proposed that we come back for their latest issue. I had only agreed this time because they have been super supportive, and I really appreciated that. The only thing was, I did not want to travel today, because we've been traveling around California for the past three months. I wanted to be somewhat in the comfort of my home and they understood that.
They arrived with everything they needed for this photoshoot today three hours ago. We were still posing for pictures. I was feeling tired and I wanted to rest.
I passed Madeline, who was holding Mesini in her arms, babbling back to her. She stopped when she saw me though, and reached out with her free hand to grab me.
"Everything okay?" She asked with concern. Mesini started to reach out for me, whining.
I let out a laugh, immediately taking my baby girl into my embrace. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" She giggled as I kissed her chubby cheeks.
Even through the problems Michael and I have, I can say that my greatest gain, was my angel. Mesini Jolene Marie Jackson.
She was born on my birthday, January 1st, at nine pm. Aunt Jolene says that I was born around that time as well, which amazes me the more I look at my little girl. As late as I found out that I was pregnant with her and her sister, she was approximately seven pounds and five ounces. She was the best birthday gift I could have ever asked for.
And while that was the best day of our lives, it was the last day Michael and I would ever see eye to eye. Brooke had been taking the media by storm as it drew closer to the court date. She strongly stood by her false claims and it seemed like the media was sticking beside her as well. Michael didn't like that, and instead of seeking for comfort from me and our baby, he would get furious and he'd take all of his anger out on me.
Us arguing was like battling to the death. We had to have the last word in or we'd feel like we lost. We could never come to a reasonable solution because we were so adamant on wanting to hurt each others' feelings for the moment.
After every argument, he'd leave and go who knows where, and won't show up until the following morning. Bill or Wayne would be with him, and they'd tell me where he'd would go, but their words were also hard to believe. Their loyalty lies with Michael before it lies with me. There's always a strong chance that they were lying to save him.
I just couldn't believe that we've become this. I was ashamed. Embarrassed. And oh so fucking heartbroken. I literally gave up everything to be with him. My heart was eternally his and all he does is hold it, and smashes it to pieces with his hands.
All I want is for us to go back to how it was. Being hopelessly in love. I miss it all.
"Just making sure," Maddy smiled softly. "You looked a little spaced out when they were taking pictures."
"I was just thinking, that's all." I felt Mesini's little hand palming the side of my face. "I think it's lunch time for you, little munchkin!"
She squealed in laughter as I began to tickle her. "Do you want me to take her?"
"I'll do it" I laughed. "Thank you, Maddy. But go ahead and get some relaxing time. You've done a lot."
Knowing that she wouldn't win this endless debate, she sighed and smiled nonetheless, before heading over to talk with the other maids in the house. Michael stood over one of the photographers, looking over her shoulder at the photos we've taken.
"Let's go and see what we want to eat today, Jolene Marie."
With that, I kissed her face and started carrying her into the kitchen. The sounds of constant chatter and the melodies of Michael's songs grew softer as I rounded the corner into the kitchen. Enrique stood there, talking on the telephone with a smile.
I gave him a soft hip bump before opening the refrigerator door. "Hmmmm, what do you have a taste for, baby girl?"
I carefully skimmed through the various ingredients and snacks until my eyes landed on the small bowls of baby food. Each contained a different flavor for her to try out.
Mesini had just turned four months old a few days ago, and our family doctor assured me that it was okay to start feeding her just the small starter foods. She took an extreme liking to banana and strawberry pureé pretty quickly. And she especially loved the baby cereal.
I took ahold of the bowl in my free hand and closed the refrigerator door shut with my hip. I gave my baby girl a grin and held the bowl up to her face. "Banana, yummy."
She smiled, happily squealing as I worked to get her food prepared. When I was finished, I went ahead and took a seat in the soft cushioned chair in the corner so I could feed it to her. Everytime she ate, she would hum and babble to herself softly, melting my ovaries all over again. My baby was just the cutest little thing ever and I was so happy to be her mommy.
We spent some time together after her feeding until it was time for one last round of photos.
I headed into the room, still with Mesini in my arms. Michael and the photographer were now standing in front of each other talking. He seemed to be so concentrated on what she was saying, but she was a bit too close for my liking. I had half a mind to assume that she was flirting and being unprofessional, and I almost brushed it off, until her hand slowly trailed down his arm.
As I finally stood in front of them, my head tilted to the side in wonder. Were they really doing this? In our home, in front of me and my child?
"Yeah, I guess there's something there, but not a lot," she giggled, still with her hand against his arm.
He snatched away and laughed. "I'm buff. Chiseled. Muscular. You better believe it girl."
She continued laughing, so I decided to join in even though nothing was funny. My sudden loud laughter startled the both of them. And when she looked at me, she had the exact expression that I expected to see. Guilt. Resentment. Michael? Not so much. Instead he welcomed me with open arms.
"Hey baby." He pulled me into his chest, kissing the side of my face. "Are you ready? They've been looking for you."
"Oh, really?" My eyes locked into hers. If looks could kill, this lady would be below the casket. "Well I was feeding our daughter."
Michael had already taken Mesini out of my arms and into his embrace. Her sweet little laughter was what kept me from acting an entire fool in front of everybody. Even without trying, without knowing, she kept me calm and leveled. I loved that.
"Mommy fed you some food, hm? Was it good, MJ?" He kissed her cheek, squeezing her little body into another hug. "You're so cute, little one." And he nuzzled his nose against hers.
The photographer cleared her throat. "I'll uh—I'll go finish the set up. We'll let you know when we're finished."
"What's your name again?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"It's Chelsea."
"Hmmm, okay. You go do that, Kelsey." I squinted my eyes. "Maybe try paying more attention to your job, than oogling over how much muscle he has."
"Ana." I felt his hand on mine, pulling me back. She quickly walked away, I'm sure, feeling just as dumb and embarrassed as she looked.
"Stupid bitch."
Michael sharply inhaled. "Do not use profanity in front of MJ. Now calm down."
I snatched my arm away from him, giving him a glare before I walked away silently.
———
Several minutes later we wrapped up our last set of photos and now, it was time to do this small interview. Michael insisted that it'll take place in the studio where it was quiet and... peaceful.
I didn't want to do the interview in just a robe, and since it was going to be video recorded, I changed into some more comfortable clothes. I cleared my face of makeup, grabbed a large white long sleeved hoodie, baggy jeans, white sneakers, and a New York hat, and put everything on. When I was finished, Michael was already there, dressed in all black.
As mad as I was with him, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. His hair was slickly pulled back into a ponytail, his face clear of makeup with the exception of eyeliner, wearing a black long sleeved shirt with slacks and his regular loafers. He also held a red lollipop in his hand. He looked scrumptious. I just wanted to—
"Oh, here she is! Baby, come on!" His soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I focused my eyes back on him, mustering a slight smile. I took my seat next to him in the chair and accepted the kiss from him. It was nice to be shown some affection, even if it was just for the cameras. I couldn't even count how long it's been since we shared a kiss like the ones we shared today.
"We were waiting on you, my love," he continued, placing his hand on my thigh. "What took you so long?"
"It was a hassle to get into these pants," I chuckled a bit. "I think I'm putting on a lot of weight."
"Nonsense. You look beautiful."
I blushed a bit, grabbing at his hand. "You're supposed to say that."
"I mean it," he mumbled into my ear. "I can't wait until we're alone. I'm gonna fu—"
"Okay, we're ready!" Aldine, our interviewer for this year's magazine issue said with a smile. "Everyone get into their places."
The director for this short waved his hands as a signal that he was about to count down. As he did, I straightened my hoodie, slicked my hair down to the back some more, and adjusted my hat. As soon as he got to one, Aldine smiled widely and began to speak.
As she gave her lengthy speech about how far Michael and I have come in just three years of our 'eventful' relationship, I glanced over at Mesini and Madeline who was watching on. She had no clue why these people were here, but nonetheless, she kept a smile on her face every time Michael and I would check on her. Even now as I blew a kiss to my sweet girl, she smiled and let out one of the happiest squeals.
"And also here with us as well is Michael and Annalisa's daughter, who the world may know as 'baby MJ'. She is the most adorable baby girl I've ever seen, might I add," Aldine complimented. I smiled at that.
"Thank you," Michael and I said simultaneously. Before she continued, I added. "Don't go revealing her face now." I said it jokingly although I was very serious.
"Oh, no worries!"
"We want to keep her identity as hidden as possible, ya' know," Michael clarified. "We know how wild the paparazzi can get sometime and we just don't want her to get hurt."
Aldine nodded. "I understand. The paparazzi can lose their minds sometimes."
I scoffed softly. "And their morals."
Michael gently nudged my shoulder, making me shrug. It was true!
We went over the basic questions about our independent careers. Michael bragged about his album and how excited he was to release it next month. He had already released a few singles to promote it, along with a video starring him and Janet. Their song was fastly climbing the charts, and with the Video Music Awards coming up, it was perfect timing. They were going to sweep the categories away, as usual.
I talked about my next round of clothes releasing next month for the summer. I was also working on another collection of makeup products. Jolee's Cosmetics was sold out as soon as it was released on my birthday this year. Along with giving birth, my fans gifted me with everything I never imagined happened. Sold out stores, balloons, confetti. Shoot, some even sent me a sample of their makeup. The moment was absolutely precious.
Tommy was wanting me to take another trip around the state to promote our next clothing collection, along with my own, which we were both releasing at the same time this summer. He wanted us to do two stores every week in the month of July. I wanted to, but I also knew that I had to stay home to watch over Mesini. I could easily bring her along with me, but I didn't want to risk it. I hated the paparazzi, it was evident in the way I looked at them publicly. I didn't want them trying to barge through my security just to see her face. She doesn't deserve that harrassment.
Michael could simply stay back as well, but knowing that his album was about to release, I was more than certain that he would be holding a press conference, or shooting another 'short film' of his for that full month. He would be too busy.
We still haven't come to a decision, so I had more than enough time to give him an answer when I was ready.
Aldine nodded as I finished my sentence. "Well, we simply can't wait to see the finished products Annalisa. Everyone is just anticipating it."
I smiled. "I was hoping y'all would be. Everybody is goin' to love this year's collection. I'm super excited for the release."
I continued delving deeper into the business endeavors for at least another twenty minutes. Aldine smoothly transitioned the conversation, now wanting to talk about our relationship. It seemed like Michael was happy about that and I wondered why. Because between us, and our friends in this house, we weren't happy.
"In just three years, you two have managed to take the industry by storm, showing the world what a happy, successful relationship looks like." Aldine stated with a smile. "Though at times, that is really hard to manage in some relationships. Can you tell us how do you balance your work, and your new family" she gestured towards Mesini. "and your relationship?"
"Well," I began. "I have to tell you that it is not an easy task at all" she laughed at that. "but we learned that communication is something that we must do in order for things to work. Sometimes I'd have meetings on the same day as him, and our nanny wouldn't be available. We'll have no choice but to talk about how we're going to navigate around that, so either she comes with us, or we'd take her to see our family. Or if he's booked for the whole week, I would have to host meetings in the house just to watch over our daughter, and it kinda switches like that." I nodded.
"Sometime there's a small little spat, you know, if what we have to do at work is really important," Michael added, and chuckled a little. "but we'd talk that out and come to an understanding."
More like, scream it out until he leaves.
"Wow, that is a lot for you two" Aldine laughed. "but you make it look extremely easy to deal with."
"We have to stay on our A game at all times." I shrugged.
"Yeah."
Aldine nodded, now showing how easily impressed she was. It almost made me laugh. She folded her hands together and continued on. "It's also no secret that you two are the 'it' couple in the industry. When we look at you guys, we think of a fairytale love story come true, so it's only right that I ask this. Just for the people who haven't heard your story: how did you two meet?"
I looked over at Michael to see him smiling and blushing. I pinched his arm gently. "Awe, he's blushin'," I teased.
"Stop it," he giggled and pushed my hand away.
"Isn't he just the cutest wittle thing?" I leaned over to him, placing my lips against his warm cheek. "So adorable."
When I tried to pull away he wrapped his arm around my neck and kept me close in his arms. Aldine and the others watched on laughing and smiling at us.
"You guys are everything together," she complimented.
I smiled, letting my lips touch his face again. Only he turned towards me for a kiss.
When we pulled away, he blushed even more as he started to get shy in front of the cameras. "Sorry," he giggled. "What was your question again?"
"No worries!" Aldine waved him off. "I asked how did you guys meet? If you don't mind telling us."
I nudged him, finding myself feeling comfortable with our current sitting position. I went ahead and wrapped both of my arms around him, and laid my head on his shoulder.
"Well, it's a long story," he chuckled and began telling her about the times we met without fully knowing each other.
I just couldn't help but think just how long I've come since then. How different we are as a couple. Although there are some bad times and moments, there's no one else I would rather go through these obstacles with. Michael was the one for me. My true soulmate. I love him even when I feel like I shouldn't.
Soon he wrapped it up with a longlasting grin. "You wouldn't even believe how shy we both were three years ago. I still wonder how I had the chance to be with the most beautiful girl in the world."
"Sometimes I wonder the same thing." I said making them laugh.
"That's definitely a beautiful fairytale love story. We just talked about how you two met, but lets delve deeper. Michael, when you first saw her, how did you feel? What was going through your mind at the time?"
"Oh boy." he sighed and smiled.
"I was just... in awe of her. Totally enamored. And I was amazed." He started. "She was playing basketball with her Uncle and I was just shocked in a good way because of how talented she was, how effortlessly beautiful she was. You know, even in her basketball attire." I chuckled and shook my head. "I just thought 'I had to have her' and I knew that I wanted her in my life from then."
"Now Ana, I want to ask you a different question."
"Oh, shoot." I laughed. "Go ahead."
"What attracted you to him? I know you've said in the past interview that you didn't really think of Michael as romantically in the beginning, because of all you've went through years prior to you meeting. What was it about him that made you change the way you viewed him?"
I leaned back into my seat in thought. "Hmmm, this is a hard question, because there are a lot of things that made me change my mind."
Aldine smiled. "Well list them all!"
"I can't! We'd be here all day!" They laughed again. "I can only stick to a few to sum it up."
"Alright, whenever you're ready."
The laughter died down a few minutes later prompting me to speak. "Well, what made hopelessly attracted to this fine piece here" everyone laughed again. "is simply, his heart."
"The way he cares for people and how he treats them.... how he cares for me, and now for our baby, it's hard not to love that. How can you not love that, you know?"
"And how did you know you were in love with him?"
"I think it was always evident in the way he treated me," I replied. "But I was definitely sure of it on Christmas—wait, was it Christmas day or Christmas Eve?" I turned and asked him.
He laughed and shrugged. "You know I'm not as good with dates, baby."
I laughed as well. "Nevermind that then... but it was around Christmas time. And we all know that Michael couldn't celebrate holidays because of his religion—he celebrates it now though. Since he couldn't celebrate, he couldn't give gifts or have parties or anything like that. I wasn't expecting a gift from him because I understood that, and I'm not materialistic at all. There's always other ways to show someone how much you love them."
"He was also working in the studio at the time so I wasn't expecting to see him until a couple days after. I was so wrong," I laughed again. "Madeline and Bill showed up to my house bearing all of the things he bought me, along with our pet monkey, and with tons of money in an envelope" Aldine's eyes widened. "Yeah, he knew how to give gifts. But in only a way he knew how."
"Wow."
"I was looking through everything and thinking about how sweet and amazing he was—still is— to me. And I sat down on my bed, nodding my head saying 'yeah, I love this man. I do'."
That's very sweet." Aldine smiled at us. One of the producers started to whisper to her on camera for a few minutes. She gasped softly, nodded her head, and took the small note card from his hands. "Well, we do have a few more minutes for something else."
I frowned softly. "Oh, wow. What is it?" Michael asked, scratching his head softly.
"Before we arrived for the photoshoot, we took a few minutes to talk to some fans who were waiting outside the gates of your home, to see if they had any questions they wanted to ask you guys." I smiled and shook my head. "Now this is completely off script, but I like being different," I laughed. "so I'm gonna squeeze this into our segment. Is that okay with you two?"
"Oh, absolutely," I nodded. I might as well.
She drew in a soft breath, reading the first card. "Okay, a 'very special' fan of yours wanted to make sure that I'd ask this question: How has your relationship changed with time?"
"Oh, how can I answer this? Should I answer first, or?" Michael glanced at me.
I smiled. "I'll go first." He lifted our tangled fingers, kissing the center of my hand.
"With time, I can say that we're more vocal with each other," I started. "As a child, and mostly on into my adult years, I was a fairly quiet, fairly shy child. I was just so nervous to speak and... with him," I smiled Michael's way. "He makes me wanna shout."
Michael giggled. "We're a lot more comfortable with each other as well. There was a lot of things that I never imagined myself doing around another person. But today, presently, I'm bolder and confident, and I absolutely am in love with that feeling."
"I can just be myself around him now, and that's what I initially call a change between us."
"And what about you Michael?"
"I was going to say everything that she said." We laughed. "We have grown a lot more comfortable around each other. And we learned to love each other the right way." I felt his eyes on the side of my face. "She taught me how to love, the right way."
Aldine gave us a sweet smile. "That's amazing. We're down to two more questions, then I'll let you guys get back to the photoshoot."
I adjusted my cap over my head. "We're ready."
"Oh boy." Michael chuckled.
She switched note cards again and began to speak. "Okay, this is a very specific, and a very great question from one of Ana's biggest fans. She asks, 'What's a moment in your life, where you had to take a step back, look at each other, and realize just how much you respected them? Is there anything that you find admirable about each other that makes you say 'wow'?'"
"Hmmmm, that is a very specific question," I placed my free hand on my chin jokingly in thought. "You go first, Michael."
He laughed. "Am I getting put on the spot?"
"Very much so, my love. Tell me how awesome I am."
For effect, I leaned over the armrest on his chair, placing my face in front of his. Him and everyone around couldn't stop laughing. For just a short second, it felt like we were back to our old selves. Nothing was fake about this at all... and that made me feel good.
He finished laughing a few minutes later. I leaned back into my seat grinning to myself. Our hands joined once more. "Okay, okay. I'm goin' first."
"Duhhhh!" I laughed. "Go ahead." He jabbed his finger into my side, making me laugh and jump away. "Stop it!"
"You started it!"
I teasingly stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh even harder. Aldine just watched on with a smile but I could tell that as much as she enjoyed seeing us 'in our element', she was on a time schedule. "Okay, answer it! Hurry!"
"Alright, alright!" Michael shook his head, still grinning widely. "Sorry guys. She's a clown." I softly growled at him. "I think the moment I realized how much I respected her, was when I opened up to her about my vitiligo. I've always respected her, but that particular moment....," he trailed off.
"I was just shocked. I've always had a hard time dealing with it, and my lupus and whatnot.... and I was just too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. During the early stages of it, I would cry to my Mother about it sometime, because I just felt like no one would accept me. Treat me like I'm human. But meeting her" he smiled at me. "and just.... having her here with me, and never side eyeing me because of my vitiligo.. it—she makes me feel normal. And I just love that feeling."
I smiled and gently squeezed his hand. "Oh! And her giving birth to our little angel this year. That adds to it."
"That's so beautiful. I almost cried here," Aldine sniffled. I laughed softly. "Ana?"
"How can I even one up his answer?" I held my hands out, making everyone laugh again. "Gosh. Okay. The moment he had my absolute respect was also when I'd open up to him about my past troubles. He's so attentive and caring, and he's always there to hold you up when you're down. I love that most about him." I heard him playfully coo beside me. "And what I find most admirable about him, aside from this extremely handsome face of his" I grabbed his jaw without looking. He laughed in surprise. "Is how he manages to touch the hearts of every single human being on Earth through his songs, his cute lil voice, his crazy dance moves, and his touching humanitarian ventures. He's a literal walking Angel who was sent from Heaven to heal us."
Madeline yelled, "Yes he is!" Followed by her clapping. Mesini was learning to mimic subtle movements and actions from everyone in the house, so it didn't surprise me one bit when she tried to clap her little hands, and yell along with her.
Everyone laughed once again, cooing at how adorable she was.
"See? She knows her dad."
"She does," Aldine replied as Michael motioned for Maddy to bring her to him. "The last two questions are for each one of you," she continued. "So we'll start with Ana, and end with Michael."
We nodded, letting her know that it was okay. "Ana, what is one thing you've learned from Michael?"
"I've learned a lot from this man" I giggled, feeling Mesini trying to crawl into my lap. "I think I said that already. Ummmm, one thing I can take from this list in my head is that... he taught me that no matter what I'm going through, smiling is the best medicine." I sat Mesini down, facing me. "I think I've been forgetting this, but when I'm feeling down I need to smile. And when I feel like crying, I should laugh. He taught me that.. and while he thinks I taught him how to love the right way, it was him who taught me that," I finished, smoothing Mesini's curls down.
"And to end it, Michael, last year the world had witnessed what is now said to be the most bizarre moments of your career. After those shocking alleged claims made against you, how are you moving pass it? And how are you and Ana moving pass it as a couple?"
"Oh," he let out a deep sigh. "I've gotta admit that it was hard to believe that anyone would pin these sick, vile things on me. The last thing that I would ever do, is hurt a child or a woman. I wouldn't even hurt a bug! It was and still is, false news. It's not true and I want everyone to know that you shouldn't believe everything they're putting on the news. It's garbage."
Aldine nodded, listening intently. "Individually, and with Ana, we learned how to deal with it together. I felt that if I did things alone, I wouldn't move on the right way. Even when she was feeling under the weather after losing the baby, she was there for me," my eyes slowly widened. "She stuck beside me. I guess knowing that she was there made it easier on me to just... deal with the situation better. It also drew us closer together."
"What, her... losing the baby?"
"Mhm," Michael nodded, having the audacity to grab my hand after saying all of that. "It was better to cope together and mourn rightfully, rather than doing it alone. I was her shoulder and she was mine."
I put on my best fake smile as Aldine glanced at me, nodding gently. "Well I think that's all of the questions we have today. Thank you guys for checking in with us on your break. Have a great rest of the shoot!"
We all stood up, shaking each other's hands. "Thank you, Aldine," I smiled. "You were amazing, girl."
"Truthfully I was nervous," she laughed in relief with her hand on her heart. "You two ooze power next to me and my minimum wage job" I laughed. "but you are literally so sweet, Annalisa. They really try to make you out to be this angry person."
"And that folks, is why we never pay attention to the media. They're always lyin'." She nodded her head.
"I see that now. See you guys at the end!"
She waved and walked away, soon leaving us alone. Michael finished talking to Bill with Mesini on his hip. He saw me staring at him and quickly made his way over to me, holding his arms out.
"Baby, you did so good today." He tried to lean in for a kiss, but I quickly stepped back. "What's wrong?"
"You're a fucking jackass."
He frowned, reaching his free hand out to grab me. I turned around and walked out of the room just fuming in complete anger. He has officially lost his damn mind.
I marched my way down the hall, ignoring anyone who was calling my name. There was a guest bathroom far enough for me to sit in and bask in my anger. I was fucking livid.
A few minutes had to have passed, before I heard his voice outside the door. "Ana, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
"Get the fuck away from the door, Michael. I don't wanna talk to you right now."
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what I did!" And he started to knock on the door repeatedly. "Baby, open up please!? People are starting to look at me," he whispered.
I stood up and snatched the door open. "That's all you care about now, huh? 'The way people look at you'?"
"W—What? No—"
"I don't appreciate you talking about my miscarriage like that," I cut him off. "I fucking don't."
His face dropped, and he stepped inside of the bathroom quickly closing the door after. "Baby, I didn't mean—"
"And lying just to make yourself look good after saying that?" I squinted my eyes at him in disgust. "That's fucking low, Michael! Low!"
"I'm sorry."
"No you're not! Lately I've been feeling like you could give two shits about me anymore, and it's been proven that I'm just an acting prop to you on more than one occassion!" I felt my eyes watering. "You weren't there for me when I lost her! You disappeared! I had no one to talk to about the shit I felt, about how worthless and useless I felt, for not doing one right thing!" His eyes softened with guilt. "Everytime I look into Mesini's eyes, I think about how she shouldn't have even came into this world alone! She had a fucking sister, Michael, and I lost her dealing with your shit! Your shit!"
He stepped towards me, trying to grab me again. "Baby I—"
"Don't you fuckin' touch me." I pushed him against the door. "I'm here most days, running around, taking care of our child while you're just out here on a promo tour telling the entire world how 'perfect' we are. I lost my grandmother. My Baba is deadly ill. And my Aunt is on the verge of killing herself! How the fuck do you think I feel eternally?! Because I'm not happy, Michael! I'm not fucking happy!"
The hard exterior I've kept up for all these years, finally broke down, and I started to sob uncontrollably. I was tired... so tired of all of this shit. I just needed a break. And I hate that he lost his understanding on that.
He was supposed to be my stress reliever when I needed it. And now, I can't even come to him about anything because he doesn't care anymore. Maybe we're not meant to give this a try again. Maybe we should just go our seperate ways.
As I cried hard, I felt his arms cautiously wrap around my waist, pulling me into his chest. I didn't even have the willpower to push him anymore. My arms felt so weak now.
"I'm tired of this," I sniffled. "I am."
"I know, baby," he squeezed me tight, kissing the top of my head. "I'm so sorry, my love. I'm sorry for hurting you and causing you to feel like this. I love you. I care about you a lot. And I'm forever thankful and grateful to have you. It was so inconsiderate of me to do that to you, not knowing how you felt."
My head began to beat like an intense heartbeat. I couldn't do this anymore.
"Do you forgive me, baby?" He asked, pulling away to look at me. His hands gently caressed my lower back as he stared at me. Sadness and guilt swirled around his chocolate brown orbs.
I wiped under my eyes, stepping away and to the side of him. "I'm sleeping in one of the cabins tonight."
"Ana, wait—"
"Please." I held my hand up, silencing him. "Leave me alone."
I opened the door to the bathroom and left out. All I could hear was his voice, calling after me the farther I walked away.
———
Aight aight, so boom check this out.
This was supposed to be put out this Saturday instead of today, among with a few more chapters, but since it's graduation week for me, and the fact that I've been working on THIS single chapter for the whole two weeks, I don't think I'll be able to spam this week.
But fear not! This could change & somehow I could manage to post three more chapters. We'll have to see about that. ❤
Nonetheless, thank you so much for being patient. I hope you enjoyed this lengthy chapter full of nothing. 😌
I'ma free man now! No more school for me!!!!! 😛😛😛
Yk what i'ma do for at least a month? Sleeeeeeeeeep my ass off. 💀
Bye booooos! ❤
If I don't spam this week, I'll see y'all in two weeks. 😙😙😙😙😙
- Nae 💋
P.S; how you betta had gave me all a hunnid and sumn comments! 6,000+ words with 20 comments is tacky so don't even play like dat 😩😩😩💀