"Oh, Adelaide" Rose sobs as she closes the door to the kitchen.
I look at her confused as she puts her hand over her mouth to cover the sounds. We're the only ones in the kitchen at the moment.
Do you ever see someone cry and not know what to do? This is me... right now.
Do I get her water?
Do I pat her back?
"There there" I whisper, patting her shoulder.
She sobs harder and I take a step back.
Bad idea. ABORT!
Rose pulls me into a very strong hug and sobs into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry"
From the contact I immediately freeze up. "Why are you sorry?" I say with a shaky voice as I close my eyes trying to get into my brain that I'm not going to be hurt.
"You- you told me everything when you were drunk" Rose sobs harder and pulls away from me.
I look at her with my face emotionless. "What do you mean?"
"The rape" I shudder at her saying that "Your mom-" She goes to continue but I slowly shake my head no. "I'm so sorry" Rose collapses into a chair and stays staring at me.
I sit next to her and fiddle with my hands. "I'm sorry" I whisper. "Are you-" I take a deep breath. "Are you disgusted with me?"
"God no" She gasps, taking her hand in mine.
I look into her teary eyes and feel bad. I shouldn't have made her feel like this.... it was my fault anyway.
"It- it was my fault anyways" I shrug. "The...um.. the first time, I left the bathroom door unlocked"
****
Flashback-
The shampoo goes into my eyes and I quickly cup my hands and splash water onto my face.
The door creaks open and I turn around, the steam has clouded the shower door so I can only see a shadow.
I turn the water off and try to grab my towel, only for a hand to grab mine and pull me from the shower.
I come face to face with my father and I freeze, not knowing what to do.
His eyes hungrily look me up and down and he drags me into my bedroom locking the door.
"Get on the bed" He shouts, I can smell the alcohol in his breath.
I shake my head and try to cover myself. A loud smack echoes the room as he punches me, resulting in me falling on the floor.
His hand grabs my hair, yanking me up. "You will do as I say" He punches me multiple times, and eventually he stops.
Everything is blurry and I feel numb, but one feeling I can feel is something moving in and out of me. Producing excruciating pain throughout my lower half.
Until... eventually.... darkness.
End of flashback.
****
I don't know why I'm telling her this, it might be the mother's safety feeling I have with her, that instantly came the day I met her.
"Two times I was in this dark room because I made mistakes or broke a rule. Then another two were Santiago" I murmur.
I know it wasn't Santiago who did it in the dark room because he always said he loved watching me in pain and try to squirm away until I physically couldn't.
He liked the "challenge".
Rose is in more tears now and motions me to hug her, but I'm afraid if I hug her I'll cry.
I don't want to cry.
You're so weak, you can't even fight for yourself and now you want to cry. Grow.up.
I shake my head to get out of my thoughts and look back into Rose's bloodshot ones.
"I'm okay though" I smile at her. Rose proceeds to cry and I start to get uncomfortable. "Rose. I'm fine. I promise" Her sobs slow down and she nods her head.
"Can I hug you?" She asks.
Don't do it Adelaide.
I stand up and hug her softly.
Weak. Vulnerable.
I pull away and wipe her tears "Do you want to watch a movie?"
She breathes out a laugh and nods her head. "Let me just wash my face"
Rose gets up and leaves, I stay for a few seconds looking at where she sat.
Was she crying because she pitied me?
I don't want pity.
Was she crying because she was genuinely sad?
Now I'm making even more people sad.
Disappointment.
I walk out of the kitchen and see Rose walking down the stairs, holding my drawing pad and a pencil.
She smiles at me and passes me them. "Carlo is asleep in there. I want you to draw him for me, I hope you don't mind that I went and grabbed it"
I laugh lightly "it's fine"
We walk into the living room, Isabella is on the bean bag once again and Carlo is laying on the sofa I was sitting on before I got up.
He's laid stretched out on his stomach, his head on his arms and a blanket on his lower half, the waistband of his grey sweatpants just about showing.
I smile lightly as Rose sits on another couch and searches for movies. I sit on the floor in front of Carlo's face and open my sketch pad.
My eyes fall onto Carlo's arm muscles and his back muscles. I look at his different tattoos and I get the sudden urge to trace them. My eyes stay glued to them until Rose clears her throat.
She smiles widely at me when I look at her. I roll my eyes and start to draw.
"Do you want to watch Venom?" Rose questions.
I look at the screen and see a very attractive man with half his face being a black monster thing.
Is it bad that the monster is also attractive?
"Yeah" I turn back to Carlo and work on his facial features.
Every now and again I turn my head to the screen and watch it. I've now decided that Venom is my baby.
I finish Carlo's face and freeze when he lifts his head up, his eyes still closed. Rose pauses the movie and I hold my breath. His face scrunches up but slowly settles back down again.
I look back to Rose and let the breath out that I held in. Her face goes red and I furrow my eyebrows.
"Why are you sitting on the floor?" A very deep, croaky voice says from behind me.
I let out a nervous chuckle and close my sketch pad. I turn my head slowly to him and his eyes are half open, waiting for me to speak up.
"The real question is. Why aren't you?" I stupidly say. I mentally facepalm as I hear a slap from Rose's area of the room.
Carlo's eyes shift to her and I turn back around,
Well then. Whereas when I mentally face palmed, she actually did.
"Sit on a couch" Carlo mumbles, I watch his eyes slowly close again. I wait a couple minutes until I start on his hair details. Rose starts the movie again and I finish the hair.
I scribble a line under the picture to show he's sleeping on something.
"I am Venom. And you are mine"
My eyes snap to the TV screen and my jaw drops "Okay. You've convinced me, I'm yours" I say, throwing my hand in the air.
Rose laughs and I feel the book on my lap move. I snap my head to my lap and look at Carlo, who is studying the picture.
His eyes move from the drawing to me and back again a few times before the corners of his lips start to turn upwards.
He passes me the book back and turns over so his back is facing me. "Venom is just a character he's not real" He mumbles.
"Bitch!" Rose shouts. "Just because you're jealous Adelaide loves Venom and practically just said she's his."
I laugh and stand up, I walk over to Rose and lay down, my head on a cushion on her lap.
"Venom is beautiful" I say while studying the screen.
Rose plays with my hair and hums a little song, my eyes flutter open and shut until eventually the last thing I see is Venom looking at me through the TV screen.
I close my eyes and fall asleep.