A/N: Whilst I don't often write requests anymore, due to writer's block and quite frankly, needing some time away from writing smut, a reader recently got in contact and asked if I would write a genderfluid reader for my books, as they struggle to find imagines that cater to their gender. They asked so nicely that, I could hardly deny their request.
While I am not an expert on Genderfluidity, based of the information they provided and my own research, I did my best to create this imagine.
It kind of a continuation of the previous chapter but can be read as a stand alone piece. I am aware that the previous part was gendered a particular way, so please bare that in mind if you wish to go back and read the other parts.
If you enjoyed this chapter, please do post a comment. I am always trying to grow as a writer and be more inclusive with my work. As stated previously, I do not consider myself to be an expert on all topics but I am always willing to learn and adapt my writing style and langauge.
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It had been a few weeks since you had required your lover to take care of you, now it was his turn.
When he had whispered your rare nickname, you instantly knew that things were bad and he needed your immediate time and attention. He only used the pre-assigned term when things were so incredbily bad that he could not cope alone anymore.
Unlike your lover, who you only referred to as 'Daddy' during your times of extreme anguish, you had different terms that corresponded with your genderfluidity. During day to day life, you wore pronoun bracelets, so that your loved ones knew what to refer to you as each time it changed.
When choosing your terms, you had worried that having multiple preferences would confuse your partner in their saddened state. And yet, even when distressed, your boyfriend was respectful with your pronouns. You couldn't have been more in love with him.
"What do you need, baby?" you questioned, pulling him into your arms and onto your lap on the bed. He always liked to be kept close when in this particular mindset. You cradled him so gently, as is he would break at any given moment. It was your duty now to make sure that didn't happen.
Rewarded with his nuzzling at your neck, you could already see that you were losing him to his subspace, as his eyes glazed over and unfocused. "Baby, I need you to tell me what you need. Remember your words." fortunately you had a lot of experience on what language to in these situations. You mimicked how you lover spoke to you when you were lost to your drifted thoughts.
He sighed as you ran your fingers through his hair, the pressure of your touch bringing his back to earth just enough to pay attention to your words. "Hm?" he questioned, unable to remember what you had asked.
"My love, what do you need?" you kept your voice light but firm. Being vague would only confuse him further but being stern would cause him to think he was about the be punished for doing something wrong. In the early days of exploring your relationshio, you had made the mistake of using a slightly harsher tone. The way he had descended into a apologetic state of tears and begging you for forgiveness had completely broken your heart. It had taken a lot of time to bring him out of that mindset with kisses and positive affirmations. You vowed to never let that happen to him ever again while his wellbeing was in your care.
His warm breath tickled your neck as he spoke in a low tone. "(Your rare nickname)..."
"I'm here, baby. I'm right here. Talk to me. Need to hear your pretty voice, sweetie."
Despite what toxic mascalinity might dictate, your boyfriend loved it when any aspect of him was referred to as 'pretty', especially when he felt vulnerable. Your heart skipped a beat as he smiled at the word, his hazy eyes looked up to meet your steady gaze.
"Your mouth." he admitted, blush colouring his cheeks. Your boyfriend always became shy in this mindset. Getting him to vocalise his needs always took a little coaxing.
"Where do you want my mouth, sweetheart?"
His cheeks were now beetroot red, as he stammered out a reply. You didn't want to push him mentally too much, so as soon as you gleaned some idea of what he wanted, you were quick to smile reassuringly at the love of your life and place a gentle kiss to his temple. "Of course, my love. Anything for you." pulling away slightly, you pushed away a rogue lock of hair that had fallen out of place. "Do you want to lie back, baby and let (your rare nickname) take care of you?"
He nodded eagerly and allowed you to help him move further up the bed to lie back down upon the pillows. You had found that keeping some form of body contact kept his anxiety at bay. Unlike you, who was still able to utilise coping mechanisms in your subspace, your boyfriend usually lost the ability to fully rationalise any of your absences and ended up having an anxiety attack.
Once he was comfortable, you made quick work of removing his sweatpants and underwear, feeling his member from their clothed confines. "Top on or off, darling?"
"On." he quickly said, hands bunching the material of his t-shirt near his stomach, obviously feeling body conscious. You made a mental note to address that later in your session. He had such a beautiful figure. It hurt you to see his feeling any sort of negativity towards it. For now, you would indulge him and return your focus to the task at hand.
"Alright, baby. What ever you want, okay?" you gave him a chaste kiss to the lips before moving further down his body, making sure to keep your fingers trailing across the expanse of his form, before your hands came to rest either side of his hips.
Getting yourself into position, you kissed his hipbones in turn, enjoying seeing his squirm slightly at the contact. "Still want my mouth?"
He nodded, heavily hooded eyes watching you intently, lips caught between his teeth in anticipation.
Taking his member in your hands, you gave a tentative lick to the vein that ran underside, moving from base to tip. His breathy gasps filled the air, as he twitched in your palm. "Words, baby." you reminded him, waiting for a response before you continued any further.
"Yes, (your rare nickname). I need...I need your mouth."
"You need my mouth on your pretty d*ck?" you asked teasingly, placing a kiss to the tip.
A low groan caught in his throat, as he tried to keep his hips still. "Yes, yes!"
You rewarded his reply by taking him fully in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as your head bobbed up and down, trying to take in as much of the length as you could manage.
"F-fuck." you heard him curse. Glancing up at him, you found him completely enraptured by the sight of you sucking him off. He wi=hined and threw his head back against the pillows, hands curling into fists, as they balled up the duvet material. Still he kept some modicum of restraint by stilling his hips, when he so desperately wanted to push up into your mouth.
Releasing him with a slight pop, you took a moment to catch your breath and check in with your lover's mental state.
His eyes were screwed tight as his chest rose up and down with quickened pants. He looked both blissed out and stressed. The former emotion you could understand but you didn't like to see him so tense. This time together was for him to relax and let you take care of him. How could you do that if he was holding back?
"Sweetheart," you massaged his thigh, gaining his attention. "my love, what's wrong?"
He shook his head, looking away from you, tears gathering in his eyes. Noticing his unease, you were quick to move yourself from inbetween his thighs and to lie down beside him.
Carefully, you turned his face to look at you, brushing away any rogue tears that marred his lovely features. "Oh, darling. What's got my pretty boy all upset?"
His expression was so sad, you hadn't seen him like this for a long time. It must have truly been a really bad day for him to be reacting this way.
"I'm sorry-" he started to apologise but you knew you needed to stop his spiral before it became out of control and engulfed him fully.
"You don't need to apologise for anything, okay? You have done nothing wrong." you traced patterns on his chest, trying to occupy his mind elsewhere, while you soothed him. "What's brought this on, hm? Did you want something else?"
He shook his head, his hand entwining with yours to still your gentle touches to his chest. "No, I liked that."
"Talk to me then, sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong, so I can make it better. DO you want (your rare nickname) to make it all better?"
He nooded again.
"I'm listening, my love. You have my undivided attention. I'm all yours."
Your lover's gaze dropped yours as he looked elsewhere, cheeks heating up once more. He murmured something unintelligible, which you failed to understand.
"Baby, I'm going to need you to talk a little louder for me." you confessed, your own worrying growing, as you desperately wanted to take care of him, just like he had done for you on so many occasions.
Finally looking at you once more, he mustered up the courage to say. "I...I want to-"
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A/N: I think I'll leave this chapter here now. Myplan is to explore the genderfluidity and relationship dynamic more in the next installment. If you want me to continue with this particular imagine, let me know. If there is anything specific you'd like to see in the update, feel free to post some suggestions. While I'm not currently taking requests, it does help to know what kind of content readers would like to see in the future updates.