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"Okay so boys." I say, standing in front of them with my hands on their hips. "What aren't we going to do tonight?"
I have the whole Soccer team sat around the couches, looking up at me.
Scarlett is leant against the wall behind them all, watching me in amusement.
It's a little routine we have, before every party.
Education.
They find it funny. I know they do. But they fucking sit and listen so I don't care if inside they're actually laughing. They reply, they take it in.
I look around, seeing their faces.
"Macaulay, answer me."
He chuckles at my tone. But nods. "Disrespect women."
I smile, no back. "One free shot for Mac." I hand him one of the shots in my hand and he takes it.
The music was quiet right now, literally ready to be turned all the way up after this chat.
We have parties on Fridays. My mum and dad think Scar and I go for dinner and then sleep at hers every Friday.
Which to be fair, we do sometimes do that.
They don't like the party scene, or the idea of me drinking. So they don't need to know, you know?
"What does no mean?" I ask.
Blaise and Nathan are sat on the floor, both of them watching me as I look every single teenage boy in the room dead in the eye.
"That she needs a little more alco-"
"And Blaise is going to prison everybody." I glare, and he falls back and laughs at me. Nathan elbows him, shaking his head and Blaise lifts his hands up in surrender. A few other guys laugh. Only a few.
Which is better than before.
"No does not mean convince me." I state. My eyes narrowed and I smile when one of the poor, slightly intimated looking guy nods as I meet his eyes.
I hand him a shot.
"Okay, vodka up for grabs." I say. "What does it mean if she says that she's not sure."
"No." One guy says, leaning forward to get the shot and I nod, handing it to him.
"What if she's drunk?"
"Not able to give consent." Another mumbles, his name is Neil, he has bright ginger hair. He really suited it to be honest. Like it was a vibe.
I nodded and handed him a shot.
I ask. "I am unsure. I am not ready?"
"No." Another nods, and I smile at them. Little sex education on consent before parties is always needed because we turn it into a game of shots and well the education system really fucking fails at this.
"Okay what if she nods?"
"Well, she's saying yeah." Some guys says. The guys around him scoff. I grin at the fact they knew he was wrong.
"Verbal consent Freddie. Verbal."
He just nods and I had him a shot.
I've run out.
But I think that's enough for today.
"Okay and remember guys, you can say no too. If you're uncomfortable, it usually means something isn't right. Therefore you have every right to say-"
"I'm a pussy." Blaise coughs over my last word. Indicating if I guy was to say no, he'd look weak.
I look down. "Blaise are you on some weird mission to get kicked in the groin tonight? Because I will."
He smirks up at me. "You will, will you?"
How does he turn a threat weird?
I look at the guys. "Be better than this low life."
Blaise scoffs.
I smile sweetly down at him. "Would you like a shot hon?"
He raises an eyebrow. "Not from you, babe."
I look up at Scarlett. "Scar, your boyfriend just called me babe." I tell, pulling a disgusted face.
"Don't call my best friend babe, what the fuck?" She says, fully allowing me to stir that one.
He lets out an annoyed sound, but I just clap my hands together. "Okay guys, let's turn the music up and open that front door huh?"
Everyone disperses from the front room and I grin as Nathan goes and opens the front door, letting a few people in who must have just got here.
I go to the kitchen to join where Scarlett and Blaise were sort of arguing. I ignore them, leaning next to Scar and thinking if I wanted to drink tonight.
I don't really feel like it if I was being honest.
Like I am in a good mood, my energy is high. I don't feel like drinking, especially when I am already feeling good so like, the only direction drinking could take me right now is in the wrong direction.
The wrong direction being into Nath's bed. I think that's really what I am worried about.
We haven't talked since the other day. No, that's a lie. I sat with him at school and stuff. But we haven't talked about it, nor have we arranged to see each other.
"Lottie, you look nice." Blaise says and I lift my eyes from the counter to look at them both.
He's either said this to try and get in Scarlett's good books, or to wind her up.
By her glare on his face, I know which one it is.
"Fuck off." Is all I say.
He smirks. "No seriously, that skirt does your legs wonders. You wanna go upstairs? I'd happily let you show me the material."
I blink.
Scar was bubbling.
"I don't get it." I say.
He narrows his eyes.
"No I mean, seriously? I don't get what you just said."
"I was messing."
"A joke?" I ask. I cock my head innocently. "What's the punch line?"
Blaise narrows his eyes at me more, then raises an eyebrow. "Was just asking if you wanted to come and sit on my face, you know, seeing all the sexual tension between us." He says this sarcastically, looking at Scarlett and she tries to pull away from him.
"Why would I sit on your face?" I ask, trying to play confused and not disgusted.
"You are killing me here Lots, it's a joke."
"I don't get it, like why? Is your nose bigger than your dick then?"
He signs, but Scarlett laughs, pushing him away from her and he just leaves us be.
"I hate him." She says.
"Me too." I nod.
"No literally." She mutters. "I can't even stand to be around him at the moment."
"Good, hopefully that means you're finally seeing what everyone else sees."
She rolls her eyes. "Everyone wants him Lottie."
"Not me." I mumble, leaning back against the counter as we watch the house slowly filled with people from our year.
"Solana is coming," Scarlett says. "Apparently."
I smile. "I talked to her today."
"You did?"
"Mhm, she asked me about Tea."
"Oo." Scarlett asks. "Is she gonna join?"
I shrug. "She's into set design and costume design. Which is helpful. But we already have Kian on that, and I mean the more the merrier I would say but I just know she's good and I don't want Kian to be threatened."
Scarlett laughs at me. "So you're not gonna allow her to join?"
"It's not up to me." I smile. "But obviously she can join, just Kian's gonna be mad."
"It's so down to you." She laughs. "Mrs Brown literally does anything you tell her too."
"No, she just sometimes asks for my opinion and our opinions align."
"No. She's worried you're gonna quit and then the show will fall to bits and so she does everything to keep you happy."
I smile. "The show wouldn't fall to bits."
"You're lead. In every single thing you guys do."
"Yeah, but only because we do auditions. Like there are other people to play the parts. I just get them I guess."
"Because you're better than anyone else."
"No I am not."
She laughs at me. "You literally are."
I shrug. I am not.
"I am good at soccer." I say.
She rolls her eyes. "You can be good at both."
"I know I am good at both. But I am better at soccer."
"I wouldn't know, I only turn up to your shows." She laughs. "Watching sports is not how I like to spend my time."
"And yet you watch Blaise fight."
"You know that he fights?" She asks suddenly, turning to me shocked. "How?"
I frown confused. He's always boxed. Like it's the only thing I can manage to have a civil conversation with him about.
"Since forever?"
She blinks. "I am the only one that knows about it."
I mean I know it's not the most legal club, like I don't know much about it, I know he's fucked up enough to go and beat people for money. But like, it's a sport. So I can talk about it with him on the very rare occasion we have to talk. But I've never mentioned it to anyone, like I don't tend to enjoy talking about Scarlett's boyfriend any more than I have to.
"You must have told me." I play it off, getting the vibe she wasn't impressed I knew.
She shakes her head. "It's a secret. I wouldn't have told you."
I pout. "What do you mean? I thought we told each other everything?"
She rolls her eyes at me playfully. "We do. But like not stuff that will damage other people, right?"
I nod. I nod so hard because I have been feeling bad about not telling Scar about the fact that Rowan, the guy from the tracks, went to this school.
I have done my own digging though.
He is in our year.
He's in top sets. Like classes for smart people. That's why I haven't ever shared a class with him. Mum said over the last year he's been on her attendance flag, but not really been pulled up for anything other than the fact he has low attendance occasionally.
Which might explain why I didn't really recognise him.
Oh and he has friends. Like he is usually in a group of people that I don't really know, apart from the fact that one of the girls and Scarlett had some sort of drama. But Scarlett tends to have a lot of people who do not like her.
I tend to get along with a lot more people. I actually have to defend my friendship with Scarlett a lot. People don't understand why we're friends. Why I hang around with them, like especially my friends from Tea.
But they have learnt to stop making comments so it's okay.
Nathan is walking back from talking to his friends on the opposite side of the kitchen, he's nearing and Scarlett goes to leave me.
I grip her arm.
Bitch you're staying here.
"Lots, you wanna talk?" He asks. His eyes are slighted hooded, meaning he's already well on his way to being drunk.
"Nah, you want a drink Nath?"
He nods.
So I escape and make him a drink. Making myself a lemonade. I was just trying to escape, but that turns out to be a bad idea because then Scarlett wanders away and Nathan comes and stands beside me.
"You not drinking?"
I shake my head.
"I wasn't gonna." He says. "But you look nice, and I need alcohol to deal with not being allowed to hold you."
I close my eyes, feeling his presence tall behind me.
He lifts his hand and I feel him take a strand of my hair between his fingers. "Lots, please forgive me..."
He can't already be this drunk.
I turn around. Looking at him directly in his eyes and I search them. "When did you start drinking?"
"Before you got here."
I nod, handing him his drink, even though I wasn't sure that was a good idea.
I take a sip of mine, looking up at him. "Are you okay?"
He just openly shakes his head.
"Nathan." I sigh and he steps forward, leaning his head down to I assume kiss me and I step back.
He furrows his eyebrows at me.
"We need more vodka, man. Lottie really destroyed our supply earlier." Blaise says in reference to the shots I handed out. He comes to join us and then he looks between us, registering the tension. He cringes and immediately goes to leave, turning around-
"Wait." I say. "Do you actually need it?"
Blaise looks at me, then he nods a little. "Yeah."
"I'll go." I tell them.
He looks surprised but nods. "You can take my car."
"Can't drive, I'll just go to Ken's." I say. It's the shop literally around the corner. He stays open late.
"I'll walk with you." Nath says and I shake my head.
"No you need to sober up." I tell him. I look at Blaise. "Sober him up."
He pulls a face at me. "Take him for fresh air with you."
Nathan goes to find his coat, I think, and I look at his friend.
"You gonna give me money for this vodka?" I ask and Blaise rolls his eyes but nods, taking a couple of notes out of the wallet and hands them to me.
"Let Nath come with you, it's dark."
I roll my eyes. "I will survive. I need a break."
He nods. "Everyone else is drunk and won't wanna walk anyway, just call someone if you get lost."
I narrow my eyes. "I won't get lost."
"Who knows with you. You can't tell your-"
I budge past him, ignoring whatever 'joke' he was about to make about me being dim. I do have a bad sense of direction, I admit. But I know where this shop is, like it's not a thing.
We were all at Nathan's house and as I walked up to where I had my coat and bag, Nathan was waiting by the bottom of the stairs for me, my coat in his arms.
I just slide it on, staying quiet.
"Nath mate, someone's trying to uncover the pool."
He groans. "It's winter."
"I can't stop them."
He goes to go and then he pauses. "Sorry I'll be a second."
"Nah, I'll run to the shop and then if you still wanna talk, I'll find you when I get back?"
He frowns at me. "Just wait-"
"Nath, your pool is green." Is called across the house.
Nathan groans loudly. "It's winter! Leave the pool alone."
He jogs away from me, and I slip out the front door.
It wasn't that cold, to be honest, I had bare legs though, but my coat was thick over my top half so that made it feel better.
It was dark, but not that late. There weren't many cars on the road. Instead, it was just me and the slow-burning realisation that I wasn't eighteen.
The shop by my house, don't tell mum or dad, but they serve me.Always. They don't even question it.
This shop, however, who knows. I assume they'll card me.
I just decide to go and try anyway. If they ask for ID I'll open my purse and pretend to look, realise I forgot it and tell them that I'll be back in five. Then I will zoom away and have to explain to fucking Blaise that I am still a mere child who cannot buy alcohol.
The walk to the shop was short like I said, and I was slightly surprised to see a few other cars parked up outside it.
As I enter I smile politely at the shop clerk and go to the back of the store, grabbing mixer and then I go to the shelves of alcohol.
My feet stop when I see someone I recognise.
It was the kid from the mental health facility, Rowen's friend.
Sutton, I believe it was.
"Hey." I say, unsure whether he would recognise me, but feeling like when squeezing up a tight little corner with someone you might acknowledge them anyway.
He looks at me, then recognition flashed in his eyes and he gives me a grin.
"You."
"Yes?" I laugh.
He sighs heavily. "What's better, red or white wine for a broken heart?"
"You have a broken heart?" I ask accidentally, he looks at me amused.
"Obviously."
Obviously. Right ok.
I smile.
"A broken heart requires more than one bottle of wine. Get both."
"The funds are limited I am afraid."
I look at him then, then down at the vodka.
I move closer, trying to be subtle.
"I could always buy your wine for you. A gift."
He looks at me confused.
"But like you'd have to buy it and I give you money after and this bottle of vodka." I bend and grab the biggest bottle, then hand it to him.
He looks at me amused.
"I helped your friend?" I ask, smiling sweetly. "Do this for me?"
"Did you just ask an officer to buy you illegal-"
My lips part, my eyes wide.
Oh shit. No way.
"I- oh god, I was just-"
He laughs, loudly. Then grabs the bottles and heads to the front of the shop.
I try to casually hang around with my mixer, then I decide to grab some snacks and after like two minutes I head up to the front too.
The clerk doesn't even bat an eyelid, just sells me the overcompensated for snacks and lemonade and I wish her a goodbye.
I look around for Sutton and he's leaning against a car, I guess his car.
I smile. "So you're not a cop?"
He shakes his head, amused.
"I need bank transfer, pretty lady, I had to go into my overdraft for this."
I just pull up my phone and nod. "Tell me your details."
"How old are you?" He asks.
"17." I say, setting it up and then I hand him my phone.
He gives me the bag of alcohol and I take the vodka out and put it in my bag.
"Thank you for this." He says.
"The wine?"
He nods.
"Your welcome." I laugh. "How old are you?"
"22."
"Old."
He looks up from my phone to me. "You're going to stress me out. What do you mean old?"
"Like I gathered you were older, but 22 is a lot older."
He frowns. "It's four years, that's not that much."
"It's a lot."
"Oh shush." He mumbles. "Stranger who keeps popping up, you are ruining my day."
I laugh at that, smiling up at him as he hands me my phone back. I confirm the amount and then hand him some snacks.
He shakes his head at me, but accepts them, his lips tugging up.
"You want a lift somewhere?"
I shake my head. He doesn't give off bad vibes, but I am not stupid.
"No thanks."
"No seriously, Young one, where are you going with a bottle of vodka?"
"I am not telling you, old-"
He lifts his hands to clutch his chest and I smile.
This kid was hot. Like in a very obvious, but not seemingly that known to him vibe. Like he had this whole sort of messy, sort of goth, type vibe. Not goth, I don't know. He had bleached hair, layered clothes, sort of sad vibe.
But like in the best way.
He pulls a face. "Don't ogle me, I am heart broken."
I laugh, not denying it. "Apologies. Anyway, I am-" I point in my direction and he calls my name before I can properly turn around.
"Lottie- wait."
I look at him.
"I feel bad letting you walk off. Let me give you a lift?"
I smile politely. "I don't get in random older guys cars."
He nods. "I mean you no harm."
"Says anyone intending to harm."
He lifts his hands in surrender. "No seriously, I'm not hitting on you. You're a minor, just don't want you to get abducted."
"By anyone else than you..." I say and he lifts his hands in amusement to the sky.
"Why'd you think I am trying to kidnap you?"
I shrug. "All men are bad unless proven otherwise-"
He smiles at that, which is a pretty unusual reaction.
"I am serious Lottie. You helped my friend, let me take you wherever you need to go. You can tell someone whatever you need to tell them to make you feel safe, but I wouldn't be able to sleep not knowing whether I let you leave and like die."
I laugh at that.
I just nod.
Because stood here in the cold was horrible.
He turns and opens the car door for me and I slide in.
It's a pretty shitty car. But it had character, I looked up, he had pinned stuff like different little pins and postcards and like fake flowers to the top of his roof.
Woah, cool.
I look at him as he gets in.
"I like your car."
"Thanks, I won it."
I look at him surprised as he turns on the car. "They gave this as a prize?"
He sniggers. "That doesn't sound like you like my car very much."
"Sorry sorry."
"Where are you going then?"
"Oh, Queen street? Um it's like two streets from here."
"Can't believe you really made me give you a lift for two streets."
My lips part. "Excuse you, you basically begged."
He scoffs. "I don't beg."
"Really?"
He smirks, throwing me a little mischievous look. "Ok, maybe I do."
I grin at that, liking the vibe and I sit back and watch as he turns down the first road.
"How's your friend?" I ask.
"Stubborn but good." He says, amused.
"Did he find it weird I came and gave him the get well basket?"
"Yeah he's mad because he says if you and your friend hadn't have noticed him he wouldn't of got stuck and would have been able to complete his like ritual and it would have been fine."
"What?" I ask, purely confused.
Sutton just laughs, shrugs. "Dunno, boys out of it at the moment."
"Oh gosh." I smile gently looking at Sutton. "You know, you suit the name Sunny."
He looks at me briefly.
"Pardon?"
"Like the name Sutton is nice, like cool even, but like the sun above your head there-" He has like a tarot card with a sun on pinned above his head flat on the car top. "Made me think of Sunny and I feel like you suit that?"
"Cos of my luscious locks?" He asks, lifting his hand to his hair and I grin, shaking my head.
"No, I don't know what it is."
"Well it's not my mood. I am excited to go back to mine and drink endless wine."
I smile, nodding.
I wonder if he's gay.
I mean, I don't know, he just gives off vibes a little.
"You're heartbroken?" I ask.
He looks at me, widens his eyes dramatically and nods.
Then looks back at the road and he turns down the road to the party.
I feel a weird tug in my stomach because there are so many things I'd rather be doing than going back in there.
I liked parties, I did. But Nathan and like not being in the mood to drunk around horny teenage boys really just puts a damper on it.
"I assume it's the party." He says and I hum a yeah.
"Anyway, your boyfriend?" I ask distracted and he makes a noise.
"Woah, I really give off a vibe huh?"
I look round, realising what I said and I cringe. "Girlfriend?"
"Ex-girlfriend." He nods. "Broke up with me three hours ago, being too feminine being a reason on her long list for this, I assume."
I cringe. Because I messed up there.
"I am sorry I assumed your sexuality; I literally just had the fleeting thought you might not be straight and then I was distracted because we're here and said the first pronoun that came to mind."
He laughs. "Don't sweat it. I wasn't insulted. Just slightly sore spot."
I smile sheepishly. Then I frown. "There's nothing wrong with being feminine."
He smiles back at me. "Apparently there's a lot wrong with it, actually."
I pull a big no face and he laughs.
He then nods to the party, he'd pulled up just outside.
"Your night awaits."
"You wanna come in?" I ask.
"To a high school party, not a chance."
"You might meet a rebound?" I offer, smiling a little.
He looks at me. "Still a high school party, probably full of minors. No thank you."
I nod, understanding. Then I smile, that that was a no for him.
"You know, you give off good vibes."
"Yeah?" He says.
I nod. "Definitely."
He laughs at me. "So do you." Sutton nods, then points. "Right, I have depression calling my name- get out."
I smile at that, shaking my head and I get my phone out of my bag and I ask him his second name.
I wanted to follow his Instagram.
That's literally all I was doing.
He laughs at me. "Mortiboys."
I look at him. "That's a cool name."
Sutton shrugs. "My Instagram should come up."
I nod, going through and then I found him, clicking on his profile. And right in front of him I sort of stalk his pictures. His girlfriend was cute, like a cute redhead who honestly looks like she couldn't hurt a fly.
"You're telling me, this girl, broke your heart?"
He nods.
I just look down at her picture that he had posted of her. "Well she's pretty so-"
"Mhm." He hums.
I look up and give him a small smile. "Sorry you got your heart hurt."
He shrugs. "It's alright."
"Thankyou for getting the alcohol and for driving me."
He nods and says that it's fine. So I just say goodbye and get out of the car, looking to the front door in slight dread.
I turn and look through the window. "Have a good night, but I do suggest not mellowing in sadness."
"I'll give it a shot."
I smile. "Goodnight."
"Night." He says, nodding and I turn, lifting my phone and writing a message as I head up the driveway with my bag of booze and smile on my face.
I direct messaged him.
Lottie: I am glad I bumped into you, made my night, I feel I can now survive this dreadful party
I just felt like he might need a nice message.
I dunno. I feel bad. He looked sad.
I don't think he's pulled away from the curb yet.
He messages back quickly.
Sutton: You don't wanna go to the party?
Lottie: Nah, but obligations do be obligations I guess
Sutton: Obligated to party? Nah. Come back to the car
I pause then, literally about to push the front door open.
I turn around, looking at his car.
He raises an eyebrow at me and then beeps his horn, unapologetically loudly.
I laugh, jogging back and shushes him.
"Get in the car, we'll go somewhere."
I hesitate. "Where?"
"Food? Burgers?"
I look back at the house. "My friends are expecting me..."
"Just text them saying you went home?"
I consider it. I look back at the house, the door was now open, people walking out. I bite my lip, thinking about the fact that I know nothing good will come of going in there.
I look down at the bag of vodka.
"You wanna go somewhere and drink?" I ask.
He thinks about it. "Let's go get food, then we can go back to mine and drown sorrows?"
I look at him. "Look, please don't turn out to be a weirdo."
He laughs. "I promise you. Also, please don't turn out to be a predator either, I just got my heart broken-"
"Yeah, yeah, you're really milking this aren't you?" I say, getting in the car.
He laughs. "Yep."
"Makes sense. Okay, go. Let's go get food before they notice I'm here getting into a stranger's car."
"They'd come running, I am sure."
I shrug, looking in. "I am not sure they would."
"No?"
I shrug.
"Don't seem like very good friends."
"High school is complicated."
He laughs. "I liked high school."
"Really? Ew."
Sutton shrugs. "Well not liked, but I met Francesca at school so-"
"Francesca." I repeat. "Yeah that suits her."
He smiles, nods.
"How long had you two been together then?"
Sutton shrugs. "Five years."
"Oh my god."
He nods. "Yeah."
"I'd be a mess."
"I am a mess. Hence the stranger in the car, coming home with me to drink wine."
"And vodka." I say.
He laughs. "And vodka."
"I want icecream." I share. "Can we get sundaes as well?"
"I mean yes, but I am slightly allergic so also no."
I laugh. "Slightly?"
"I will be in pain."
"Oh god, well can I get the ice cream?" Like I understand he'll get sick, but I won't.
He looks at me offended. "You'd really eat ice cream in front of me, knowing I cant?"
"I mean, it's more of a you issue, right?"
He laughs at me, loudly. "This is true."
"But okay, that's mean. I won't get ice cream."
"No no, go for it."
"Nah, don't worry. I will just feel bad now."
He smiles a little and nods. "Okay, so what are we feeling? McDonald's or something less well known, because to be honest, I know all the best fast food places."
"Somewhere I have never been before." I tell him.
"Good, ok, I like your thinking."
And so yeah, we go and eat. And we sort of just make friends, which is hilarious. I know it's sort of really reckless, and a little unlike me, to just leave my friends and go off with someone I don't know.
My god, my mum would lay an egg if she knew.
But it was weird. Like the zero desire, I had to go back to the party and find Scarlett, talk to Nathan, try and tolerate Blaise. I seriously just didn't have the energy.
For them specifically.
When we got back to Sutton's pretty dingy apartment, we stayed up for hours. Drinking, talking, laughing.
I asked him to be my friend at the end of the night, I remember that for sure.
I think I proposed it like an engagement.
I remember him saying yes, laughing, and then going to the toilet to be sick.
This was gone four in the morning.
But yeah, that's around the time I passed out on his couch, face first on the cushion, not even a blanket in sight.
But with a new friend.
Hope you enjoyed:)