Pandavs, Rajmata Kunti and PandavaPatnis had left Dravida along with the new bride on the wedding day only. The journey was a long one and it would take them a few days to reach Indraprasth. Now, one by one the guests were leaving too. Balaram, Krishna and Subhadra was supposed to leave on the next day itself. But on Maharaj Drishadvat's request, they stayed for a few more days. Krishna didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave Dravida which baffled Balaram. And of course, Duryodhan and Gandharraj Shakuni stayed too, though Mahamahim Bheesmh left.
"I'm glad Dravida and Hastinapur's relation has improved by this alliance. And for taking this step I want to thank you." Mahamahim Bheesmh had said to Maharaj Drishadvat before leaving.
"The alliance is between Dravida and Indraprasth Gangaputra. And I am glad you accepted my request of blessing your grandchild." Maharaj Drishadvat replied with a smile. Mahamahim Bheesmh understood his words clearly. Dravida had nothing to do with Hastinapur and it was him who was actually invited, so Nakul could get his Pitamah's blessing. Along with him, Gandharraj Shakuni also got his meaning. But still stayed there digesting the insult.
Subhadra thought her words might affect Karna somehow. But she was wrong. Karna kept avoiding her like before. Her heart was screaming loudly, but no one could hear, least of all Karna. Why he couldn't hear her heart's cry? Was he so detached from her? Did she not matter even a little to him? What would she do after leaving Dravida? Would he let her go and forget her forever?
"Subhadre?" Krishna called her as they were strolling outside the Dravidian Palace.
"Yes, bhrata?" Subhadra responded coming out of her stupor.
"Where are you lost?" Krishna asked smiling warmly at her.
"Nowhere, bhrata. Just feeling the peace of nature." Subhadra replied giving a sad one in return.
"Humans normally see the beauty of nature when they're happy. But when there's restlessness inside, we tend to feel the peace to calm ourselves. Why are you so restless Subhadre?" Krishna asked again.
"Nothing like that bhrata Krishna. I-" Subhadra tried to oppose.
"So you've learned to lie to your bhrata Krishna too. Dravida has taught you many things it seems." Krishna said stopping her in middle, but his teasing smile told Subhadra he wasn't offended. Subhadra remained silent. She had never lied to Krishna and she could never hide something from him. It would be a waste trying to lie or hide her emotions from him.
"Subhadre, remember I told you Dravida will give your life a new direction." Krishna said continuing his walk. Subhadra sighed and followed him silently.
"Do you know the story of Savitri?" Krishna asked suddenly.
"Who doesn't? Savitri and Satyavan, known for their love and devotion to each other. According to the legend, princess of Madra, Savitri marries an exiled prince named Satyavan, who was prophesied to die early. But with Savitri's wit and love, she saved her husband from the death God, Yama himself." Subhadra replied. A small smile appeared on her face remembering the fascinating love story.
"What would have happened if Savitri wasn't determined or lost hope?" Krishna asked her looking like contemplating.
"Neither Satyavan would have gotten his life back nor their love would be eternal." Subhadra answered thinking about the probable outcome.
"Right. And Savitri would be left as a widow and lost her love." Krishna said staring at Subhadra meaningfully.
"So, Subhadre to gain something, we've to struggle with determination and hope. Where there is no struggle, there is no gain. The harder the struggle is, the more sweet the gain becomes." Krishna added smiling serenely.
On the other hand, a storm was going inside Karna that threatened to ruin everything. Subhadra wanted him and Duryodhan wanted Subhadra. He was sure of the alliance and it was important for him. Duryodhan might have done adharm to Pandavs, but he wasn't a really bad person or a monster. He was good to his family and friends. He treated his wife, Bhanumati with respect and loved his children. He wouldn't disrespect or mistreat Subhadra. But Subhadra herself didn't want him, did she?
Karna was sure Subhadra knew nothing about the alliance Balaram had promised Duryodhan. What would she do after knowing? More importantly what should he do?
What Subhadra said that day was indeed true. He was doing to Subhadra what he got from society. He couldn't refuse that Subhadra had made her place in his heart. But he was afraid to fail. Even if Subhadra accepted a hard life with smiles, would he be able to watch her suffer only because she chose him. And what if she started resenting him after a while.
Moreover he could never forget the still faces of Supriya and his son. He felt like he would betray them by accepting Subhadra. He felt, his feelings for Subhadra would hurt their souls. It was his carelessness that caused their early death. How could he forget his failures and enjoy his life after killing them? This guilt inside him wouldn't let him lead a contended life.
No. He couldn't. Subhadra would be better off without him. He had to end these feelings for Subhadra before they could be released.
After a few days, they left for Dwarka. Subhadra was surprised when she heard Karna was also coming with Yuvraj Duryodhan and Gandharraj. She wasn't sure why but felt relieved. Her relief was short-lived as Karna continued ignoring her more ferociously. He accompanied Yuvraj Duryodhan at all times and refused to even glance at her. Subhadra didn't know how much she could tolerate. Her heart was laying in pieces bleeding uncontrollably and Karna was nowhere to restore or relieve it.
"Maharathi Karna? You are here and I am looking for you everywhere." Krishna said from behind.
"Vasudev. Why are you looking for me?" Karna asked calmly. He was outside the Palace roaming around in the village. He wasn't even going to ask how he found him. Vasudev was a mystery in himself.
"Iss haati balak mein thori si buddhi bharne k liye. (To beat some sense into this stubborn boy.)" Krishna replied pointing at a boy who was beside him. The boy was Krishna and Satyabhama's son Bhanu.
"What happened?" Karna asked looking at the cute pout Bhanu was sporting.
"He wanted to learn Archery, so I made him a beautiful bow. He was very pleased and won't separate with it even in sleep. But some days before, the bow broke while practicing. Not only that Charudeshn (Krishna and Rukmini's son) got hurt accidentally. And now he has decided that he couldn't even take care of his bow, so he will be a very bad archer and doesn't want to learn Archery anymore. I tried to make him understand, it wasn't his fault and one wrong can't be the decider of his skills. But he is not ready to listen to anything." Krishna explained the situation to him.
"I find it difficult to believe that you are not able to make him understand. So, what do you expect from me?" Karna asked.
"Kya baat kar rahe hai aap Maharathi Karna! Mujhse toh bare bare samajhdar o ko samjhaya nehi jata. Yeh toh chota balak hai. Aur aap ko toh pata hi hoga, baal hat aur stree hat k aage bach pana asamvhab hai. (What are you talking about Maharathi Karna! I can't even convince elder intelligent people, he is only a little boy. And you must know, no can can stand against stubborn child or stubborn female.)" Krishna said gasping dramatically with wide eyes. Karna shook his head at his antics.
"Why don't you want to learn Archery anymore? If we get afraid of stumbling over, then we can't learn to walk. I also broke many bows, cut my fingers a few times, got hurt, but didn't stop practicing and now see, I'm a well-trained archer." Karna said to Bhanu kneeling before him.
"But because of my carelessness, bhrata Charudeshn got hurt. I can't learn something which became cause of my brother's pain." Bhanu said bowing his head.
"It was not your carelessness. It was just an accident. And your brother will not like to hear that you're leaving your favourite archery for him. He will feel proud to see you becoming a great archer." Karna replied smiling softly.
"Really? But if I hurt him again?" Bhanu asked frowning.
"You won't and if he gets hurt, that will be fate, not you. Because we can never deliberately hurt someone we truly love. And if you're afraid of hurting them, then defeat your fear and try harder, so you don't do so. But never let your fear stop you from getting your happiness." Karna answered. Bhanu smiled nodding his head.
"Wow. You explained it so well to him. So, what did you learn Bhanu?" Krishna who was watching the exchange silently till now asked then.
"That we should not hold ourselves responsible for accidents. And our loved ones won't want us to stop ourselves from gaining our happiness. And also we shouldn't restrain ourselves thinking of failure, rather try harder not to hurt our loved ones even unknowingly." Bhanu said to his father smiling brightly. Karna looked at him with surprise.
"Your son is rather intelligent, Vasudev." Karna said.
"Haa. Yoh toh hai. Yaad rakhiyega Maharathi Karna. Mere putra ko bhi, aur uske sabdo ko bhi. (Yes. That he is. Remember well Maharathi Karna, not only my son but also his words.)" Krishna said smiling mischievously and left with Bhanu leaving Karna to his thoughts.
In Indraprasth, only silence could be heard on the royal palace. No one could say there just had been a wedding with so much grandeur. Drisana's welcoming was done half-heartedly. But post-marital rituals were postponed. No one was in the mood to celebrate.
Drisana sighed with a heavy heart looking at the backyard of the palace. She was in a guest room of the Mayamehel of Indraprasth. The Palace in itself was majestic. But even the most wonderful things couldn't cause happiness when the heart was in chaos.
She hadn't entered Nakul's chambers yet. Not because she wasn't permitted to, but because Nakul himself had forbidden her. He was so angry and hurt, he had hardly even looked at her after coming back. Nakul was the most emotional and sensitive one among his brothers. It hit him hard to know Drisana betrayed him. He hadn't even talked to her about it. Drisana knew it would hurt him, but there was no other way. She did what was best. Now she only hoped, he would forgive her soon and everything would sort out too.
Contrastingly, at Dwarka, Balaram had convinced Vasudeva (their father) for Subhadra's marriage with Duryodhan. They liked him as a prospective groom for Subhadra and asked her opinion on it. Subhadra's mind stopped to work and she didn't respond. Vasudeva considered it her surprise and shyness, and told her to take her time.
However Subhadra's eyes clouded and the dying hope inside her took its last breath as she understood Karna knew about this and that's why he came to Dwarka with Duryodhan. Her feet refused to support her burden and gave out. Subhadra remained in a prone position for a long time, even her tears were betraying her as they refused to flow and unburden the mount like sorrow and excruciating pain lodged in her heart.
After a long time, she found some strength to lift herself and silently went out of the Palace. She silently walked through the nearby forest and reached on top of a large waterfall. She stared at the thundering water flowing blankly.
"What are you doing?" Karna asked from a far. He had followed Subhadra watching her coming out of the Palace alone. He looked at her blank stare and it scared him a lot. Subhadra didn't respond or gave any indication of hearing him.
"Come here. You're very close to the edge. It's dangerous." Karna said watching her carefully. Subhadra still didn't respond.
"Didn't you hear me?" Karna asked sternly. Still getting no response from her, he went near her and held her hand to remove her from there. Just as he held her hand, Subhadra placed a knife on his neck. Karna stared at Subhadra's bloodshot eyes in surprise.
"What did you think? She's a girl, bound with limits and you'll do whatever you want?" Subhadra asked in a still voice.
"What are you doing?" Karna asked frowning. He was not afraid of the knife held at his neck rather of Subhadra's behaviour.
"You knew. You knew there was a talk about Yuvraj Duryodhan and my marriage. And you, my husband, don't mind at all, do you?" Subhadra gritted out in anger. Karna finally understood what this was about, but wasn't surprised. "But I'm not comfortable marrying another while my husband still lives. So, how will you prefer to die Vrisha?" Karna raised his one eyebrow at this. Was this girl threatening to kill him? He could have removed the knife long ago, but decided to entertain her.
"So, are you threatening me Rajkumari? You know that marriage won't be accepted by anyone." Karna said calmly.
"But I do accept that and I don't care who thinks what. I have accepted you as mine and I will not marry anyone else. And if anyone else comes to marry me I'll kill that person." Subhadra said angrily with unshed tears.
"I'm confused. Who do you want to kill exactly? Me or the person who will come to marry you?" Karna asked. Subhadra narrowed her eyes. What was he focusing on rather than her emotions? Here after breaking her, he was spitting at the pieces.
"You know what it would be best if I kill myself instead." Subhadra said and tried to stab herself with the knife.
"Subhadra!!!" Karna shouted her name and stopped her by holding her wrist looking angry for the first time. Subhadra stared at his anger filled eyes with surprise. This was the first time he had called her by her name.
"You have committed yourself to me when you accepted me as yours. And now you have no right to harm what's mine." Karna said in a deadly voice. Subhadra looked at him in confusion trying to comprehend what he was saying.
"But you said you don't accept our marriage." Subhadra said as a lone tear fell from her eyes. Karna removed the knife from her hand and throwing it aside, he gently wiped her tear.
"No. I said no one will accept that marriage. I never for once said I don't accept it. I refused to acknowledge that marriage in front of everyone thinking of not burdening or binding you. But if you, yourself has decided to bind yourself to me, then so be it. Too bad if you regret it later, because I'll never give you another chance of escaping me in this life or another." Karna said in a very soft voice, but the determination and gravity behind those words were bone chilling. Subhadra's tears fell freely as a loud sob escaped her mouth and she hugged him. Karna held Subhadra gently caressing her back as she let her emotions flow through. After a while, her sobs died down and she got out of his embrace.
"Are you saying the truth?" Subhadra asked with innocence and hope.
"Yes. You've come into my life as a blessing. You've calmed the reverberation in my thoughts. You've given solidity to my shaken beliefs. You've organised the disarray of my mind. You have given stability to my heart and life. When I met you, I was lost, looking for the answer to questions that in themselves were in a mess. But you not only untangled them, but helped me in finding the answers too. You grounded me and I ended up losing myself in you. Now, I don't have the power to untangle myself from you." Karna said staring at her eyes. He then cupped her one cheek and said, "You're now my Sthira. And even after I take my last breath, you'll be known as KarnaSthira."
Subhadra closed her eyes with a smile adoring her lips as a sigh left her.
"But what about -" Subhadra trailed off, not knowing how to ask him. She was still afraid he would back out. Karna gave a smile understanding her. His Sthira still didn't know, once her Vrisha set eyes on something, he didn't stop without hitting the target.
Subhadra was afraid would everyone accept their tribal marriage or not without knowing that Karna wouldn't leave any space to question them.