A/N
So I apologize if the chapters start getting short and boring.
Maybe they won't be horrible, but nothing super good will happen.
In four or so chapters, the drama will really start. ;-)
I've been planning that chapter since I began the story, so be prepared for a lottttt of drama.
Well. Here's the very late chapter for yesterday. (Technically two days ago seeing as it is 3 am on Monday)
Love you!
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Harry's POV
Sometimes in the morning, if I woke up before Louis, I'd just lay there and watch him.
That made me sound like Edward Cullen. But I wasn't creepy like that.
There was just something so perfect about how peaceful and content he looked in his sleep. No trace of sadness or anger was to be found.
His long eyelashes gently grazed his cheek and I wiped away one that had fallen. I let my fingers trail down his jaw, feeling his soft, warm skin.
He stirred and smiled.
"I like waking up next to you," he mumbled, holding my hand against his neck.
"I like being next to you any time," I replied and kissed his lips.
He sighed contentedly and opened his eyes. They were such a brilliant, beautiful blue, like the color of a crystal-clear ocean. Nobody had eyes that were more amazing than Louis's.
"What are you looking at?" he asked.
"Your eyes," I replied honestly.
"Mmm," he sighed, "So I was wondering if you wanted to come to Bri's grave with me today?"
I shrugged.
"Sure. Do you want me to drop you off or wait for you?" I asked.
He occasionally went, always asking me to take him. This was because when he left, he was always such a mess that he was in no condition to drive.
This usually was followed by a day where he just couldn't get out of bed. I always hated seeing him like that. He was either blank-faced and completely unaware of everything or he would be unable to quit crying. It was a little disturbing, but I could relate.
"No, Hazza. I don't mean just take me. I mean come with me. It sounds kind of funny but I want to introduce her to you. Is that crazy?" he asked.
I was shocked that he was asking me this. I had never thought that he would include me in such a private moment with him.
"It's not crazy at all, Lou. I'd 'introduce' you to Gem, but we got her cremated. And it's a bit funny talking to ashes," I explained, tracing circles on his hip with my thumb.
"I figured that it might be easier, you know, if you're with me. You always make things hurt less," Louis said quietly, "And I think we should go today because I don't think I'll be up for it, you know, in a few days."
I kissed him lightly.
"Boo, I'd love to," I said earnestly.
Louis smiled, his eyes crinkling slightly.
I could name a million things about him that I loved, but I loved his smile especially. And his eyes. And his unique voice. And his laugh. And his personality. And everything about him.
He had his flaws, but so did I.
That's what made him even more special to me.
Louis rolled onto my chest.
"Boo, get off! I need to get dressed!" I complained.
He wiggled around and laughed.
"Maybe I don't want you to get dressed. Plus, you're comfy," he said.
"Come on, Boo. Let me get up," I sighed. I was pretty content to just lay there all day, but I knew we needed to get going.
He whined softly and turned around so his chest was against mine.
"But Hazza...," he whimpered, brushing his lips over my neck. He chose a spot near my collarbone and started sucking and nipping at it.
I bit my lip. If he was going to do this so I wouldn't get up, I wasn't moving any time soon.
He pulled away and looked at me with wide, innocent eyes.
"You just gave me a huge lovebite, didn't you?" I asked.
His eyes glittered mischievously and he dipped his head and bit my neck, making me yelp.
"Actually, I gave you two," he giggled, hopping off of me and walking away sassily.
I jumped up and caught up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and giving him a love bite of his own.
I loved the feeling of his body against mine. I never wanted to let him go.
"Ok, now I'm the one telling you to let go of me," Louis chuckled.
I let go of him and smirked.
"If I could hold you forever, I would," I said, kissing him.
"I feel like we belong in one of those awkward fan fictions our fans write," Louis laughed.
I rolled my eyes.
"This relationship has been way to unstable for it to be a fanfiction," I responded, "Go get ready and we'll go."
He nodded and a few minutes later, I heard the shower water running.
After he came out and got dressed, we got in my car and left.
It was about a hour drive.
"Hazza?" he asked softly.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Thank you. For coming with me. You don't have to," he mumbled.
"Lou, I want to. It should be me saying that you don't have to bring me. I was really surprised when you asked me to come," I responded.
Louis smiled and held my free hand.
We arrived at the cemetery and he looked nervous. I got out of the car and opened his door for him, bowing exagerratingly.
"My good sir," I teased as he climbed out.
"Oh shut up," Louis snorted, but his gaze was fixed on the gate.
"Boo, I really don't need to come in if you don't want me to," I sighed.
"No, I want you to. I'm just a little nervous. Like I'm introducing you to my parents or something," he said, "Is that weird? It's not like she can really say anything about us."
"I completely understand. Speaking of which, I never have met your parents," I said, tapping his nose.
Louis smiled and took my hand again, starting for the gates.
A women was walking out, and as she got closer, she appeared to recognize us. Maybe her daughter or something knew us.
"Louis William Tomlinson!" she yelled.
"Oh shit," Louis mumbled, letting to go of my hand.
She approached us, smiling, but looking mischievous.
"Um...hello Carrie," Louis said. I looked at him. His face was bright red.
He knew this women?
"Um...Harry, this is Bri's mother. Carrie, this is Harry, my um..."
Louis hesitated and I felt my heart drop. I would be alright if he said we were just friends, but I'd be disappointed.
"My boyfriend," he finished, smiling at me slightly. I couldn't help but grin.
Carrie smirked and suddenly flung her arms around Louis.
"Where the hell have you been, lad? You thought you could just disappear?" she asked sternly as she stepped back.
Louis blushed even darker.
"Carrie, I'm really, really sorry. You know, about everything I said at the funeral. And those other times too. I just...was kind of messed up I guess," Louis said, grabbing my hand again and holding it in a death grip.
Carrie rolled her eyes.
"Louis, I don't care about that. At all. I know you were going through a rough time, we all were. So tell me, what's been going on? How are you really? You can only learn so much from the press," she said, "Such as, I've never heard that you've fallen for your bandmate."
Louis's grip relaxed on my hand, but he didn't let go.
"Why am I not surprised? You've probably been stalking us like our fangirls," he teased gently, "But yeah. There's a lot the press doesn't know. I guess you could say I was the pissy, temperamental lad that you knew up until a month or two after Harry joined."
Carrie nodded, shooting me a warm smile. She looked like Aubrey, or at least the pictures I'd seen.
"So. Spill the details, Louis! I want to know everything about you two!" she said cheerfully.
She walked over to a large bench by the gate and sat down, motioning for us to do the same.
"Well Harry's sister died, so he knows what I've been going through. And he's a stubborn little prick, so he wouldn't give up on getting me to like him," Louis said.
"Yes, but I'm your stubborn little prick," I said softly in his ear, making him smile.
"Anyways, if you've really been creeping on us, you'd know he got really sick-"
"From salmonella," Carrie interrupted, making Louis laugh loudly.
"Exactly. But that's when I knew I didn't want to hate him anymore. The first time we kissed was on my birthday and I kinda of freaked out and ignored him for the next few weeks?" Louis said.
Carrie snorted.
"And you've put up with all of his bullshit?" she asked me.
"It's worth it," I said honestly.
"Continue," she ordered Louis.
"Well eventually we made up and stuff and we kissed a bit and that's how we ended up being together," Louis finished.
We looked at eachother for a few seconds before Carrie spoke up again, "So who's on the bottom?"
Louis choked on his own spit and I was pretty sure I was bright red.
"We haven't exactly done anything like that yet," I mumbled, suddenly very interested in Louis's fingers.
"I already knew that. It's Lou that's stopping you, isn't it? He's pretty predictable," Carrie said, feigning innocence.
Now it was Louis that was bright red.
"We're going to go inside, nice seeing you, Carrie," he mumbled, standing quickly.
She stood as well.
"Louis Tomlinson, I better hear from you in the near future," she warned, "No hiding."
Louis nodded and hugged her good-bye.
"Harry, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked.
"Uh...sure. Go on in, Lou. Have some time by yourself, okay?" I said.
He nodded and walked inside the cemetery.
"I just want to say that I'm very, very proud for what you've done with him. Not everyone can deal with somebody who's as broken-hearted as he is," Carrie said.
"I don't know why everyone thinks this is something I did. Louis did it by himself," I sighed.
"But you helped. The last time I tried to talk to him was two months before you joined and I can honestly say I was scared of him. He didn't even let me get a full sentence out before screaming at me. And now? I just sat down and had a full, calm conversation with him and he even apologized. You know, I didn't think he would ever date anybody again. And it hasn't even been a year and he has you. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for you two. I'm so glad he found somebody who could understand him and be patient," she said.
I blinked. How was I supposed to respond to this?
"Thank you. I think?" I laughed nervously.
"No, thank you. I just saw the Louis that my daughter fell in love with. She would have been appalled at the way that he acted after she died. Now go find your boyfriend so he doesn't get worried," Carrie said, pulling me in for a hug.
I smiled. I liked this woman.
"And Harry? I better hear from you also. Especially if it's for a wedding invitation," she said.
I laughed.
"That's definetely not happening any time soon," I snorted, "It was great meeting you."
She nodded and made her way to what I assumed was her car and I stepped inside the cemetery.
It didn't take me long to find Louis. The bushes and trees had lost their leaves and his bright blue pants stuck out pretty noticeably.
I walked over to him, my eyes wandering over the assorted tombstones and statues.
I stopped a few feet away from Louis and took in the cemetery.
I looked around at all the headstones. Everyone here had people who knew them; they had people who were mourning their death. Did all of these people move on? Or did they join their loved ones in this cemetery?
I shuddered. Where were these morbid thoughts coming from?
"Hazza?"
I turned my attention back to Louis, who was peering at me, curiosity glittering in his red eyes.
"You were zoned out," he commented.
I looked at the stone at his feet.
It was a flat, silver rectangle.
It was simple. It had her name and death and birth dates on it.
It didn't have a quote or anything. But it did have a replica of the music note that Louis wore around his neck on it, minus the gold and gem.
Louis gently took my hand and sat down, making me follow.
We sat in silence for ages. It was a peaceful silence. Nobody was around and the cemetery had this weird, but not eerie, tranquility about it.
"So, Bri. I told you I'd eventually bring Harry here, so here he is. I know you'd want to meet him. After all, he is my boyfriend," Louis began.
I felt slightly shy, like I was legitimately being judged by her. Maybe I was. I didn't know for sure.
"You know how you made me promise you that one time that I'd move on? I said I would, but I always thought I'd have to break that promise. But now...I'm not so sure," he sighed, using his free hand to trace the music note on the grave.
"He's been great. You'd have slapped me if you saw the way I treated him. I always thought you were patient and understanding, but you don't compare to him. You'd love him, Bri. You two are actually pretty similar. Funny, amazing, sexy..."
Louis stopped and smirked at me. He was doing extremely well. Where was the sobbing mess that he usually was after he came here?
"If you were here, you'd tell me something along the lines of 'just get down on your damn knee and propose to him already'. I think your mom has that covered though. We just talked to her, actually. I'm pretty sure she told you already, but she's doing fine."
Louis chattered absently for a while and eventually, seemed to forget I was there.
He let go of my hand and traced the music note in the grass.
I bit my lip. I felt jealous, honestly. I wanted him to acknowledge me and tell me I was his one and only. But he still loved her and it hurt.
"Hey Boo? I'm gonna go wait in the car so you can be by yourself for a bit, alright?" I asked.
He nodded vacantly.
I stood and walked out to the car.
I knew this jealousy was stupid. It really was. Of course he still loved her.
But it hurt to know that he could tell Aubrey that he loved her, but he couldn't tell me.
I hit the steering wheel, and immediately felt foolish and guilty.
I had to get rid of this jealousy. It was unnecessary and stupid.
The door opened and Louis slid in, his eyes red with unshed tears.
"You're amazing, you know that?" I murmured, putting my arm around him and bracing myself for a breakdown.
I was right.
He clutched my arm and burst into tears. I clenched my jaw and concentrated on calming him.
But I knew that he would never cry over me like that. Obviously I wasn't planning on dying any time soon, but sometimes I felt like he didn't care about me. Now that was ridiculous and selfish.
But what if he didn't?
What if I was some pathetic rebound that he was just using to get over Aubrey?
My stomach clenched at the thought. If I was...oh god.
I was so deeply in love with him. If he didn't feel something for me after all...I don't know how I would cope. I thought about the scars on my wrist. Would I be tempted? Of course I would. I'd probably do it, too.
As Louis shuddered from the force of his sobs, I mentally slapped myself.
I shouldn't be thinking this! It was completely ridiculous.
Louis cared for me. He was just having a tough time, for the love of god! I knew that! I was being stupid.
He didn't deserve someone who doubted him this much.
"You're amazing, Hazza," he sniffled.
No.
I really wasn't.