Shuichi's heart was going a mile a minute, thumping erratically in his chest at Kokichi's words. Date? Was it a date? Kokichi shifted in his seat to look at Shuichi freak out more thoroughly.
"What?" Kokichi asked, bemused.
"It's not a date!" He took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. It's not a date. Kaede just wanted to go out to dinner with him, nothing more. "Right?"
"Let me see what her text said." Kokichi leaned back against the cushions with his knees bent under him and held out his hand. Shuichi reached for his phone in his pocket, tapping probably too hard on the screen to get to Kaede's text, handing it over to Kokichi. "'Hi Shuichi! If you're not busy today would you like to get dinner with me at seven? I'll text you all the details' yep this sounds like a date."
Shuichi's head felt dizzy, had he really messed up and thought they were just hanging out? He didn't know the first thing about dating. Does this mean Kaede likes him? Does he like Kaede? Kaede is his best friend, but... he's never thought it was more than that.
He ran his hands through his hair tugging on it slightly. "What do I do? I've never been on a date."
Kokichi looked down at his phone. "Well I recommend getting ready, it's getting late."
Shuichi jumped up. "Shit!" he patted his pants not sure what he was looking for.
Kokichi flinched at Shuichi's voice. "Jeez, no need to have a conniption fit."
"Right, okay, I'll be in the shower."
The tiles of the shower were cold against Shuichi's hands but the spray of steaming water on his back warmed him. What do people even do on dates? Hold hands? Kiss? Shuichi gasped to himself as he shampooed. Would Kaede want to do that? He's not sure he's prepared for something like that.
He finished showering and hopped out, toweling himself off as quickly as he could, wiping the steam off the mirror with his hand. Little blue colored water droplets fell from his head, his hair was lightening with each wash and black roots were growing in. He needed to re-dye his hair soon. He stared at himself in the mirror, lifting his wet hair up to look at his face. There was a slight amount of acne on his forehead, but at least his hair would cover it.
He stepped out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, a towel wrapped around his waist, hair blow-dried, laying sleek and flat from the straight iron. Shuichi stopped where he was walking to the bedroom, realizing he had absolutely no clue what he was doing.
"Kokichi, what do you wear on a date?"
"Hm?" he hummed from the couch, where he was watching some random soap opera. He turned around eyes trailing over Shuichi's bare chest in appreciation. Shuichi failed to notice. "Just wear something fancy, like a suit if you can find one."
"Right, okay."
Finding something to wear was proving harder on Shuichi than expected, most of the clothing in the closet was gaudy and horrendously bright colors. On the opposite hand, the clothing in the drawers was compiled of dark-colored clothing, which wouldn't have been that bad if every one of them weren't some kind of lounge clothing.
But, at last, he had managed to throw something together. Black slacks with a white button-down that met his elbows, and a simple black vest with dark gray designs. He was currently fumbling around by his mirror trying desperately to tie his tie.
He let out a groan of frustration and threw himself back onto the bed, resigning himself to failure. Why was it so hard to tie a stupid tie? "Kokichi." Nothing no response, so he tried a little louder. "Kokichi!"
"What!" Looks like that got his attention.
"Come here!"
A grunt could be heard from behind the door before being slammed roughly open by a disgruntled Kokichi. "What?"
"Do you know how to tie a tie?" He picked up the tie and it lamely flopped back down against his chest.
"I can try," he shrugged, walking over to where Shuichi was laying. "You're going to have to sit up if you want me to."
Shuichi sat up and Kokichi began working with the tie, his thin fingers unknotting the mess Shuichi had made of it. Shuichi watched him silently, staring up at his concentrated face. His hair was falling into his face and he blew it away irritated.
"There, I did it." Kokichi patted Shuichi's chest and stood back so he could stand up. He caught a glimpse of the tie in the mirror as he stood. It was a bit messy but at least it was tied. He tucked it into his vest and moved quickly to the door grabbing his wallet and keys on the way.
Shuichi hoped he wasn't going to be too late, he stalled at the door making sure he had everything he needed. Then he remembered. "Oh no," he slapped his hand against his head.
"What?" Kokichi asked, finally joining him by the door.
"I forgot to call for a cab."
"I Know."
Shuichi raised his head confused. "What?"
"I figured you forgot so I called while you were showering. They should be waiting outside."
Shuichi felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and took a sigh of relief. That was oddly thoughtful of him. "Thank you Kokichi. Are you sure you're okay being here alone while I'm gone?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Just go already your cologne is giving me asthma."
Shuichi blushed, he knew he had gone a bit overboard on the cologne. "Eh, sorry. Wait are you having someone come over? You mentioned it earlier, is it still happening?"
"I am." Kokichi crossed his arms and tilted his head. Shuichi got the impression he wasn't inclined to talk about it.
"Okay well I'm going now, see you later."
"Have fun on your date." Though the words were kind Shuichi felt like the tone held the opposite meaning. What he would give for a day where he understood the complex mind of Kokichi Ouma.
***
The car ride wasn't long, but with all the thoughts and worries swirling in his head, it felt like he had been in this car for an eternity. The black seats squeaked under him uncomfortably, and the driver smelled like cigarette smoke. Definitely wasn't the most pleasant of experiences.
He probably shouldn't think too much into it, but he can't help but feel bad about leaving Kokichi at home. He was acting differently before he left, colder, and put-off, yet that was still different from how he acted in the killing game. Shuichi however had to put those thoughts at the back of his mind, as the cab pulled up to the front of the restaurant.
He stood by the awning of the building where Kaede said she would meet him, looking around for a sign of her. His heart was beating fast and a part of him wished he could crawl right back into the cab and just go home. He didn't want to have to tell Kaede he didn't have feelings for her and thought of her as a friend, maybe he could make himself like her? In fact, he wasn't sure why he didn't already, she was kind, sweet, and pretty. Any sensible guy should like her.
"Shuichi!" His heart fluttered, he knew that voice, he turned his head to where it had come from and sure enough, it was her. Kaede was walking towards him arm raised high in a wave, smile bright enough to blind, and... pulling someone behind her by the wrist. Wait, what? Broken out of his Kaede daze, he realized she wasn't alone, and walking behind her was, Rantaro.
Kaede rushed forward hugging him tightly and he reciprocated quickly. Though his mind still felt frozen. The first thing to come out of his mouth probably should have been a greeting, but instead, "I didn't know Rantaro was coming?"
Kaede brushed her hair behind her ear. "Oh shoot! I must have forgotten to text you, I was talking with Rantaro earlier and I figured he might want to come hang out with us and get dinner. I hope that's okay?"
"Sup," Rantaro nodded from behind Kaede, raising up a peace sign.
Shuichi's stomach filled with dread. Oh no, he's completely misunderstood this entire situation. Of course, this wasn't a date how could he be so stupid. Now he felt overdressed as well, given Kaede was in a blue romper and Rantaro was just in jeans and a t-shirt.
"Yeah of course that's fine," Shuichi squeaked, trying to keep back his embarrassment.
"Great! Let's get inside I'm starving!" Kaede pushed ahead, a hop in her step as she entered the restaurant.
Rantaro walked up next to him slapping his hand onto his shoulder, Shuichi jerked at the slight sting in his shoulder. Did he mean to hit him that hard? Rantaro nodded his head up and kept walking, Shuichi nodded back with a strained expression, wrinkling his nose up. Rantaro smelled strongly of what was most likely weed. Shuichi took a deep breath of fresh air to get the stink out of his nose, before walking in after them.
***
Kokichi paced the floor anxiously, anytime now she would get here and he still hadn't figured out what to say. Unfortunately, Gonta wasn't going to be able to make it, which makes this whole ordeal more stressful and awkward. He knows what he's supposed to say, but he's not sure how well that will go over.
A knock at the door disrupts his pacing. Well, shit here goes nothing. He yanks open the door, an instant scowl on his face.
"Hello human garbage," she greeted, mockingly. Her long blonde hair flowing at her waist, he was surprised to see she was wearing pants for once, but her boobs were still out, smooshed together in a pink tube top. Some things never change.
"Hey gutter slut," he bit back sarcastically, rolling his eyes. What happened to, hello, how are you? Typical normal greetings, that were unwritten rules to never be used between Kokichi and Miu.
Miu strutted forward into the apartment, her fuzzy heels clicking along the wood floor. She threw herself down unceremoniously onto the couch, taking up all the space. "Where's the hospitality cum stain? I travel all the way over here and you don't even have food prepared?"
"Maybe there would be some if you stopped rubbing your fishy crotch on my couch." Miu held up her middle finger and Kokichi smirked at the hand, going to grab some water.
He walked over beside Miu, shoving the water in her face, some of it splashing out over the cup and onto her. She grimaced but took the water. Kokichi sat on the ground in front of the couch, watching Miu as she took a sip, trying to figure out where to start. He really didn't want to do this, and there wasn't anything stopping him from just not, but he did feel some amount of guilt for how things played out with her. While their relationship in the killing game had been farthest thing from friendly,- he can goes as far as to say he loathed the bitch- she had made things more fun.
Kokichi figured the blunt approach was the best. No reason to sit around and stall. "Sorry I lowkey killed you, but to be fair you were trying to kill me first."
Miu read him carefully trying to find a lie in those words. "Thanks, It's whatever now, sorry for plotting your death too," she shrugged.
Then came an awkward silence, the apology wasn't as bad as he was expecting, but he hadn't thought about what they were going to do after. Now they just looked around the room in silence, lips sealed tightly.
"Is that it?"
"That's all I had planned, I didn't think this far ahead."
"Well I'm not leaving yet, it took too much gas to get down here to stay for two minutes. So it's a good thing I brought this." Miu reached into her large purse pulling out, not one, but two, bottles of whiskey.
Kokichi's eyes widened at the liquor, sure he might have been the leader in a group of juvenile delinquents, but he hadn't once touched alcohol- at least this version of him hadn't. He can't speak for his past self. "Woah where did you get that?"
"The store duh. I'm 21." Oh right, Kokichi had forgotten that they were all different ages. "Here," she tossed him a bottle and Kokichi caught it.
"I'm only nineteen, I can't drink yet."
"Aww, you're a baby! You don't have to if you don't want to, but nobody's stopping you. It's not like you're going to get in trouble, you're at home." Miu opened her cap and tipped some into her mouth screwing up her face at the taste.
Kokichi was inclined to agree, unless the cops broke down his door, he would be completely fine. Miu watched smirking as he uncapped the bottle and took his first drink. He drank way too much and way too fast, which cause him to cough hard some falling out of his mouth as he gagged at the taste. How can people drink this?
Miu slapped him hard on the back as he tried to get a grip. "I should have warned you about this, it's pretty strong. You really aren't supposed to drink it like this, most people mix it with stuff, but drinking it like this gets the job done faster."
"What job?" Kokichi strained out, eyes watering down his face.
"Oh, honey."
***
The waitress had sat them in a high booth off to the side of the room, a live band was playing and the restaurant was filled with rowdy customers and loudly chatting people. Rantaro had sat next to Kaede and he had sat in the seat across from them. He really felt like he was third-wheeling big-time currently. He ordered something with chicken in it off the menu, not really sure what it was but it looked good enough.
He's kind of glad this isn't a date because as Shuichi looks at Kaede now, he still doesn't feel anything except friendship. If this was a date he would have to hurt Kaede's feelings by saying he didn't like her like that. There was just no way he could make himself feel that way. It made him feel stupid to think about it.
Was there something wrong with him? Like he had said before, Kaede is a wonderful, kind girl, who is very beautiful. Anybody would be crazy if they didn't fall for her, so how come he isn't?
It would be so much easier if he could like someone like Kaede instead of all these complicated thoughts in his head.
"Shuichi are you okay? You're being really quiet," Kaede rested her hand against his. To be honest, he hadn't realized he was being quiet. He had just got lost in his thoughts, while Rantaro and Kaede were in the throes of a deep conversation.
"Yeah I'm fine just got distracted."
"Well Rantaro and I were just talking about-" Shuichi listened to her talk on and on about going to college and how coincidently she and Rantaro are at the same campus.
Shuichi rested his cheek against his hand propping up his head as he listened more about Kaede being a barista and her parents. Don't get the wrong idea, he wasn't bored in the slightest, he could listen to Kaede talk for hours on end and never be bored.
But soon enough their food came, which effectively silenced Kaede momentarily. Shuichi was happy with what he ordered, the warm food helped settle his nerves some. Still in the back of his mind though, he wondered what Kokichi was doing.
***
"You're different now."
"What you too! Shuichi said the same thing, what do you guys not get about the whole 'we are in a killing game' scenario," Kokichi tossed his arms up and they limply fell back down. His whole body felt tingly and hot, his head dizzy and woozy.
Miu laughed body halfway off the couch. Kokichi's head was rested against one of her legs as he petted the fuzzy part of her shoe. "Wait you've talked to Pooichi?"
Kokichi gasped and took another drink. "I haven't told you yet! Guess what bitch!"
Miu propped herself up head falling back before she regained her strength to straighten it. "What?"
"We live together-" he broke off into laughter trying to finish his sentence. "-and-and before we lost our memories we were dating."
"You're lying!" Miu gaped, sitting up shakily.
"Nope! Shuichi was my boyfriend," he closed his eyes nodding happily swaying slightly before he gasped. "He was my boyfriend! Hehe, Shuichi was my boyfriend."
"So that means you guys totally fucked." Kokichi sighed staring up at the ceiling as Miu laughed. His drunken brain sending him off into a million dirty fantasies.
"Yeah, we saw the photos," he smirked and took another sip. The bottle was going down easier now, the liquid warming him with each swallow.
"No way you guys had fucking nudes!"
"Yeah, I was freaking out when I saw them, but I think I played it off pretty cool."
There was a moment of silence before Miu giggled and slipped off the couch, landing down next to him. "Do you wanna hear a secret?"
Kokichi wasn't sure why he was laughing, but he laughed with her. "Okay."
"I'm actually a virgin."
"Nu-uh."
"Yeah huh. You can't tell anyone though, because I have an image to uphold, ya-know."
"Then why are you such a whore." Miu reached up and batted Kokichi's arm, but her strength gave out and she collapsed back down.
"First of all, that's just my sense of humor. Second of all, I think- I think I just want someone to love me. I want attention, and I want love. Real love, I don't even care if there's no sex. Really I don't," her words were slurred as she sat up to face Kokichi, who was watching her with rapt attention. "Like, I don't get it, I'm fucking hot, I'm smart, and I have really good boobs."
Kokichi looked down at his hands feeling overwhelmingly sad all of sudden. "I think that's why Shuichi doesn't want me. It's because I don't have any boobs."
"Wait you're gay?" And just like that, his moment of sadness was ruined.
"Duh! I thought I made it obvious. I guess blondes really are stupid."
"W-wait so does that means you like Shuichi- like current you likes him?"
"Uh yeah," he replied, sass lacing his voice.
"And he won't like you because you don't have boobs?"
"Probably."
"Would touching my tits make you feel better?" Miu and Kokichi both laughed, but Kokichi wasn't prepared for her to grab his finger and put it on her chest.
There were two thoughts running through his head, So this is what boobs feel like, gross. -and- Why is this a bonding experience? Kokichi laughed again bringing his finger up to poke it. "They're squishy."
"I think they're supposed to be. Why are you poking it?"
"What else am I supposed to do?"
"True. But my main point to this experience is that having tits can be fun and all, but let me tell you, sometimes they hurt like a bitch, speaking of let me-" her voice wandered off as she reached behind herself undoing her bra and pulling it out from the top of her shirt. Kokichi watched laughing as she clipped back up the back and placed the frilly pink bra on top of his head. "Trust me you don't want them, and any guy that's going to like you, will like you regardless of wether or not you have tits."
"Hehe it's a hat yay!" Kokichi leaned back in his new headwear and his eyes landed on Miu's shoes again. "You know I have heels too."
"Really! Go fucking get them!" Kokichi got up as quickly as a drunk person could, stumbling clumsily into the bedroom holding onto the walls. He grabbed the heels and walked back out into the living room knowing damn well he wouldn't be able to walk back if he put the heels on in the bedroom.
He dropped down onto the ground with a thump, shoving his feet into the boots. "See! Don't they make my legs look good."
"They're so fucking pretty." Miu agreed shaking her head too much, making her lean over with dizziness. As the night progressed they knew they were going to be fucking ruined in the morning. But neither of them could give less of a shit.
***
Shuichi finished up his dinner with Kaede and Rantaro a little later than he thought he would. They had stayed till closing time at eleven talking about everything and nothing. Shuichi has to admit he did have a good time, even though it wasn't what he was expecting.
He had told them about Kokichi, though he didn't go into that much detail about their situation. They both seemed sympathetic towards him, which he both understood and didn't. Angie texted everyone in the group chat, halfway through dinner, about getting together Sunday to watch the re-runs of their season, which they then debated if it was a good idea or not. Shuichi was still not unsure, but he knew ultimately if everyone else agreed he would too.
Now, he was tired, his social bar completely filled up. He had said goodbye to Rantaro and Kaede, then taken a picture with a random girl who came up to him -which was a rather odd experience, that he's sure won't be the first- and now he was finally making his way up the steps to his apartment.
Shuichi got to the door and was going to knock, but thought better of it considering Kokichi might be sleeping. So he pulled his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door.
Of course, he can't just have a normal night. Kokichi was spread out on the floor, what looked to be a bra on his head, and those stupid high heels on. He was belly laughing hard and that's when he noticed Miu on his couch laughing with him. His eyes drew close to the bottles of whiskey in their hands and he felt an immense amount of dread enter him.
"Oh no. What are you guys doing," he spoke cautiously, walking into the apartment.
"Shumai!" Kokichi said happily reaching up to grab Shuichi's leg as he got closer. God, not the nickname!
"Hey Pooichi," Miu said eyes closed looking like she was about to pass out.
"Hi," he responded flatly. "Are you guys drunk?"
"Heh heh, maybe~ But it's a secret! I'll never tell! You can't get it out me Mr. Detective man!"
Miu chuckled, almost completely out of it.
"Kokichi where did you get this, you're nineteen?"
Kokichi pouted rubbing his face against his leg. "It was her! That devil woman seduced me into it. Oh, save me Shumai!"
Shuichi stared down as his leg, shaking it, trying to get Kokichi to let go, but he wouldn't budge.
"That is not true! Don't worry Shuichi I'm 21, see a responsible adult."
Shuichi scoffed grabbing the bra of Kokichi's head. "I'm guessing this is yours." He flung the bra at Miu and in landed on her stomach, she just grunted in reply.
"Hey, my hat!"
Shuichi knew Kokichi wasn't going to be able to walk to the bedroom he was a complete mess. So he bent down and began to lift him up. "That's not a hat Kokichi."
"Ooh, Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you to bed." Shuichi pushed Kokichi's arm onto his shoulder and walked him toward the bedroom. Kokichi was heavier than he looked.
"No, I don't want to go to bed!" He squirmed in Shuichi's arms making it harder for him to carry him.
"You need to go to bed." Shuichi finally made it into the room, tossing Kokichi onto the bed like a sack of potatoes.
"Are you my servant Shumai? Are you going to undress me?"
"No, you can go to sleep like this." The last thing Shuichi wanted to do was take off Kokichi's clothes.
"What No! Please, I can't sleep in clothes they're uncomfortable. I get all hot, and when i turn they stick to me, so I end up all tangled up." Kokichi's eyes got big and wide almost like a puppy's. There's no way Shuichi could say no now.
"Okay fine." Shuichi gulped, starting with Kokichi's shirt unbuttoning it all the way down and sliding Kokichi's arms out. Kokichi was smiling slyly obviously enjoying every second of this. He took off the heeled boots and his socks. Next going for his pants. This whole situation was not helping keep those unwanted thoughts, he had purposefully kept pushed away, stay out of his mind.
He zipped down the pants and pulled them down until he couldn't pull anymore. "Lift up." Shuichi said shakily. Kokichi lifted his hips, hand raised to his mouth as he bit his lip, and god if that wasn't a sight. This is wrong he shouldn't be thinking like this, not about Kokichi, not about a boy.
He felt completely disgusting with all the dirty thoughts entering his head and Kokichi's comments didn't help. "Shuichi you brought me in here and got me undressed so you could have your wicked ways with me right?"
Shuichi's face heated the blood dropping from his face into another region. He needed to leave.
"You know, I would let you if you wanted to."
"Kokichi please go to bed you'll regret what you're saying in the morning." Shuichi turned trying to make a break for it to the bathroom.
"Wait no don't leave! My medicine, I'm supposed to put it on twice a day." Great, just great.
He let out a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Where is it?"
"Bedside table," Kokichi pouted.
Shuichi grabbed the container and opened up the lid, looking at the lotion. "What do I do?"
"Just rub it into my scars." Shuichi really wasn't sure he was going to be able to do this because the thoughts he tried so desperately to keep away are now bombarding him completely.
Shuichi rubbed the lotion in on both sides going down his body until he reached his undergarments. Kokichi looked at him wondering why he stopped, so Shuichi did what he had to do and slipped his hands underneath the fabric and rubbed it in.
Shuichi's heart was beating in two places, that once small problem now a big one. His guilty conscience rid on him for getting hard while rubbing medicine on someone. Kokichi's little mewls and moans didn't help his situation either.
He hadn't had any alone time, for a long time, which is probably why this came on so suddenly, but he really needed it to leave. He finished Kokichi's ankles and then took in a deep breath leaving the room as fast as he could without saying a word.
Thankfully Miu was passed out on the couch, Shuichi threw a blanket over her before practically ramming himself into the bathroom. He hit hard against the back of the door his head tilting back as he fumbled with his belt buckled. His breathing was labored and he could tell this wouldn't take long.
He was so hard, so desperately hard, and as he ran his hand over himself, he tried to think of anything but Kokichi. But, that's all his mind supplied him with. Images of wrapping his hands around Kokichi's tiny waist as he pounded into him. Images of Kokichi's head between his legs, eyes watering and drooling over him. No, no, think of something different. Come on. His frustration grew, the need just getting worse the more he tried to think of something different. Finally, he just gave in. He wondered what it would feel to have Kokichi's lips around him, to be inside of him. Shuichi's legs were spasming, his hand falling out of the pace he had built. But what finally pushed him over the edge, was the memory of the picture he had found in his phone, Kokichi's legs spread open, his own hand on Kokichi's chest. He gave a bitten off shout as spilled over into his hand.
Shuichi's whole body thrummed, it really had been a while since he'd done that. He wiped himself off with a tissue and splashed his face with water. The post orgasm bliss becoming completely guilt-ridden. Not even just that but he jerked it to a guy, but the guy he has to live with and sleep in the same bed with.
That said guy who is laying in bed now drunk off his mind, not knowing that some creep had just jerked it to him in the bathroom. He felt so utterly disgusted in himself.
Shuichi walked back to the bedroom head held down, planning on curling up in the tiniest ball he could in bed and deal with his feelings later.
"You left me!" Shuichi looked up confused eyes landing on a distressed crying Kokichi. Not the fake crocodile tears Shuichi has seen, but fat, drunk, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What!" Shuichi moved quickly onto the bed.
"You hate me!"
What was he talking about? "No I don't, don't say that," he said gently. After what he did he shouldn't even have the right to speak to Kokichi like this. Shuichi shoves the thought from his mind.
Kokichi turned his head towards him, throwing his arms around him sobbing harder. "You're so nice, and I'm an awful person Shuichi. I've done bad things and- and I'm sorry."
Shuichi patted Kokichi's back his heart fluttering in his chest. "I know Kokichi, it's okay I forgive you." He had no right to accept an apology from Kokichi now, not when he's drunk, not when he had just done that.
Kokichi sniffed hard looking into Shuichi's eyes. "Really?" Shuichi felt himself at a loss for words with the way Kokichi was staring at him, so he nodded. "Okay, I'll sleep now."
Shuichi expected him to let go, but instead, Shuichi got dragged down into the bed as Kokichi threw and leg over him and cuddled into his side. Shuichi wasn't sure if he should move or not, but he didn't want to mess up Kokichi's sleep so he stayed, it was the least he could do.
His heart was beating erratically in his chest, a different feeling taking over him, and Shuichi realized he might have a bigger problem on his hands than he thought.