Marco
Watching her stirring in her sleep while calling my name was certainly not how I had imagined it. After she had admitted that she had fallen in love with me, I wasn't given the chance to say it back. Because the truth was, I had fallen in love with her too and that was the scariest thing I had felt in my entire life.
Waiting for her to wake up was so difficult. I stayed by her side for two and a half days, leaving the room briefly when Jay came around, just to make a few phone calls and organize the plan for my revenge. I wasn't going to let this go so easily, even after the Irish contacted me to say that the assassin acted on his own and no permission was given to him to execute me.
Everyone had their orders, the word was out on the streets and Veronica was handling the firm during the day as best as she could. My parents were of course informed and were cutting their vacation short, to be here for me. They were the last people I needed to see right now. Danny kept sending me updates and every other head of the families rushed to express their support to me.
Nothing seemed important anymore. I nearly lost her that morning and I was the only responsible for that. It may have been another man's gun but I was the one that armed his hand. The fear in her eyes when I told her everything, just confirmed what I already knew. There was no way she could accept me as I really was and there was no use trying to convince her that we could make this work. Not after I almost got her killed, not after she saw me killing someone.
She was mostly peaceful during the days and that's when I would steal a kiss on her forehead or tell her how I felt about her. That's when I realized that I had really blown my chance to be happy. The nights were the worst. Nightmares disturbed her sleep and she would shake, sweat and scream my name. I thought that the shock would wake her up but I waited in vain to see her blue eyes. Helpless and desperate, I used to hold her hand, whispering in her ear, letting her know that I was there, by her side and no one would ever hurt her again. Sometimes she would respond and calm down immediately while others she would go on screaming and shaking for hours. I even sang to her one time and my sleepless mind thought she was smiling when the song ended.
I was on the verge of breaking down. Three days later and no sign of her waking up. No other physical evidence, that would explain her current state, was found. 'We should wait for her body to adjust and overcome the shock by itself', the doctor kept saying and I almost sent him to hell for playing with my patience.
No one but me was at fault here and I found it so difficult to cooperate with the annoying nurses that were checking her vitals every now and then. Stepping outside for a smoke and a cup of coffee, a few moments to clear my head, never seemed to pay off. My eyes were constantly glued to the window of her room, waiting for her to be up, wave at me and ask me to go to her. I was really starting to lose my mind.
When the third day came, Veronica came by the hospital and put on quite a show.
"You really should take a shower. It's no wonder the poor girl won't wake up. She wouldn't last a minute longer with that stench. And what's with the facial hair? Jesus Marco, you want to really scare her away, don't you?" shaking my head to her unique ability to make every serious situation light, I asked her to leave if she didn't have anything important to say. I was not in the mood for my sister's games.
"Jay is on his way. I'm here to take you home. You should really get some rest. You are not doing her any good by collapsing yourself. She is in good hands and you know it. Please Marco, mama and papa will be here tonight and I would hate it if they would have to come here to see you." Pausing for a second, she turned her gaze to Rose, who had been strangely peaceful today. "And what about her? Do you want our parents to meet her under these circumstances? Come on, you know I'm right. Let's get you home, get some sleep and you can come back later. You know papa is furious. You need to be in a better shape to confront him."
I couldn't say she was wrong but she needed to understand that I wanted to be there when she woke up. I knew my father was mad at me for not being careful, for engaging a civilian in this and for creating more problems to the family. But in all honesty, he was the least of my concerns right now.
It took her a lot of dramatic pleas, threatening and buttering up to convince me, but when Jay came, I gave up. I would go home, freshen up and be back later that night after I had seen my parents, to ease my mother's fear mostly. My mother, although used to this kind of situations, was always making a big deal out of it. And while my fathers was a master in calming her down and make her forget that something bad even happened, when it came to her children, it was a whole different story.
Stepping into my cold, empty apartment after three days felt strange. After taking a much needed shower and shaving, I looked at the mirror and was shocked by the face in front of me. I paid attention to my appearance not because I wanted to look good to others but mostly to feel good about myself. I guess it's true when they say that how you feel inside is mirrored in your face. I felt like I had aged in three days, like the lines on my forehead were deeper now and the numbness I was feeling was starting to become permanent.
Changing in fresh clothes, I poured myself a drink and called Jay to ask if there were any changes. My hopes were yet again vanished on hearing his negative response. Taking the picture of her from the file, I started talking to her as if she were here. I didn't even have a picture of her on my phone, like normal people would. This was all wrong.
The bottle was dangerously approaching its end and I decided to turn on the radio, to stop the deafening silence from driving me crazy. A familiar tune started playing and I recognized it as the one playing in my car, on our way back from the airport. She was looking out of the window, humming the lyrics and I would look at her from the corner of my eye. She was tilting her head to the sad rhythm and never turn her head towards me.
And then I can tell myself
What the hell I'm supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with you
I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we met
When the night was full of terrors
And your eyes were filled with tears
When you had not touched me yet
Oh, take me back to the night we met
My glass went flying to the wall across the living room and a tear almost escaped my eye. 'It was morning when I met her' I heard myself screaming as if the singer could change the lyrics. What wouldn't I do, to be back to that first morning, when I asked her for a lighter.
As my irrational mind was taking me back then, when I foolishly thought that I could have her and live the fantasy. When I stupidly believed that if you wanted someone so much, nothing could stand in your way, my phone rang.
"They are here. I told them you were sleeping and that you would meet us at the family estate later. Mama is cooking your favorite. Don't be late. Papa is talking nonstop on the phone. I think it's safe to say that others will be joining us for dinner too. Be ready" Veronica may be younger than me, but she always had my back.
Checking my watch one last time, before calling my new driver, I exited the building and prepared myself for the 'family reunion'. Mama was the first to hug me once I entered the estate. Watching me up and down to make sure I was alright, she started asking questions in rapid Italian, making it difficult for me to follow.
My father was of course waiting for me in his study. Seated behind his imposingly heavy, antique, black oaken desk he silently motioned for me to take a seat opposite him. Ending his call, he placed his hands on the desk, making a long pause before addressing me.
"Sono molto arrabbiato con ti." (I'm very angry at you.) Here we go; I thought and made myself more comfortable in the leather armchair, getting ready for impact. "You are irresponsible, reckless and dangerous. I raised you better than this. You make me reconsider my decision of making you Don and you keep making me look a fool in front of the family. What's wrong with you? Haven't you learned anything? What's so special about this Rose?" on hearing him saying her name, I stood up and approached his desk.
"This has nothing to do with her. Leave her out of this. You are disappointed by my running the family for a while now. I told you the moment you decided to step down, that if I was to accept the position, I would do it on my own terms. The world has changed and we needed to follow too, if we wanted to survive." Raising his eyebrows, he started giving me the all familiar lecture of how our family is based on traditions and how decades of hard work and sacrifices would have been made for nothing if I followed my way of ruling. I couldn't count the times I had heard the same speech. In other cases I just shut up and waited for him to be over, but today I was tired, impatient to go back to Rose and in no mood to maintain the image of perfect, obedient son.
"Basta."(Enough) I said irritated and he stopped, focusing his eyes on mine. "I know very well that you don't approve of my approach. I try my best to keep our people safe and make them more money. No matter how hard I try and how many things I sacrifice personally, I know I will never live up to your expectations and I've made my peace with that. What happened the other day was a mistake and I assure you it won't happen again. Rose has nothing to do with the way I acted though." Narrowing his eyes, he stepped closer to me and did something I never expected. Placing both his hands on my shoulders, he urged me to sit down and started talking in a milder tone.
"You are so much like me, even if you don't want to admit it. I noticed that something was up with this woman since the night at Stefano's. I asked you then and you told me she was no one, but you didn't fool me. Everything we do, every choice we make, even if it is for business, is influenced by the presence of a woman in our lives. You never had someone so close to you to understand that until now." I knew my mother was always behind great decisions and that he respected her opinion so much, as to change his mind on something if my mother was not okay with it. But listening to him talk about the effect Rose possibly had on me was alien and totally unexpected.
"Your mother is a strong woman, forged in this kind of life and ready to do anything for her family. I want you to ask yourself if this Rose, you are so fond of is made of the same material as your mother. Would she be able to follow you, without hating you in the process? Is she strong enough to clean the blood on your clothes after a bad night? Will she be able to handle nights of worrying, of not knowing where you are or if you will make it home? Is she brave enough to confront a greedy policeman who wants more and will try to blackmail her?"
The things he said I should think about were unfortunately thoughts I had already made and the answers weren't the ones I wanted to hear. It wasn't so much that I wasn't sure if Rose was able to handle this life as whether I wanted her to be part of it, losing herself in order to fit in my world.
After a moment of silence, he squeezed my shoulders and asked me to follow him to the dining room. 'We shouldn't keep your mother waiting. You know how women get when we are late.' He commented with a smile.
No business was discussed over dinner and the guests Veronica had assumed were joining us never came. It was just us, our family and ate pretending like nothing had happened. Like I wasn't leaving this house afterwards, ready to do the greatest mistake of my life. Say goodbye to Rose forever.
When the lights from the hospital came in view, I asked my driver to wait for me in the car. I wasn't going to be late. I supposed she was still asleep so it would be much easier to say what I had to if she couldn't look at me or talk back.
Stepping out of the elevator, a nurse greeted me but stopped me when I went past her and towards Rose's room.
"The patient was discharged earlier Mr Mancini. She left with her brother." Furious and bewildered I turned around and waited for the elevator to come. Once I was back outside, I called Jay.
"What the hell happened? Is she with you? Is she alright? Why didn't you call me?" not giving him the chance to answer was not getting me anywhere, so I slowed down, took a deep breath and tried to be open minded.
"She wanted to leave. I brought her to my uncle's house. She is safe here. Aunt Teresa will take care of her. She didn't want to hear anything about neither the house nor the hotels you proposed. I tried to make her wait for you. I told her, you would come back but she wouldn't listen. You know how she is." Knowing exactly where she was and among people I trusted to give her the care she deserved was an even better prospect.
"I have organized security. I will send them the details now. Did she say anything else?" worried of his answer; I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat.
"Marco look, she is hurt, confused and she feels a little betrayed right now. I hope she will find it in her to forgive us both. I'll take care of her and I'll have her call you when she is ready." Thanking him, I tossed my cell on the seat next to me and closed my eyes. I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until the driver informed me, we had reached my place.
Not caring about the broken glass on the floor, the mess in the mess in the living room or the fact that I was still wearing my suit, I plopped onto the bed, falling asleep in record time.
Days turned to weeks and no matter how much I wanted to see her, talk to her, I knew my father was right. So I made sure she was safe and learned her news from Jay. He told me times and again that he urged her to give me a call but I asked him to stop that. I had caused her enough damage. There was no need for more.
The image of the family and the company's as a consequence needed a little boost. Whispers about us involving in illegal dealings were spread throughout the city. I needed to come up with a plan and act fast, restoring the confidence of my clients. Veronica suggested hiring a pr manager to deal with the press, get us in high society events and generally promote the idea of a family business that gives back to the community and cares about good causes.
I was never one to pose in front of cameras or walk red carpets but we all agreed it was necessary. That meant I was out almost every night, socializing, smiling and trying to be friendly with people I didn't want to have anything to do with.
The only positive in this circus was that I took my mind off Rose for a few hours. My orders about men watching her place were still active, but I had stopped requesting reports. I had to let her live in peace, a normal life without the mess I almost dragged her into.
Tonight I was invited to some sort of a reunion. It was one of those rare times when my group of friends from college, the ones that weren't involved in the family's business, were all in New York and decided to meet for a drink. I was glad they called me, I needed something normal, a relaxed night catching up with old friends reminiscing old times.
We decided on Fabio's night club so he could join us as well. Eclipse was his pride and joy. I was happy for him when he came asking me on my opinion on his plans and I gladly offered to help him financially. In return I could use his VIP sections for private meetings with important associates and clients. Danny's club was great but it couldn't compare to what Fabio had created here.
Female escorts and the private rooms were also to its advantage as certain clients were easier to be swayed when female company and more were promised.
Being among my friends, chatting, drinking and just being myself made me forget about anything. Fabio made sure we weren't left alone for long as we had started talking about money and figures, something he hated since college. Impressive women joined us shortly and I found myself in the company of a beautiful blonde.
I hadn't been with anyone for a while and I let myself enjoy her touch and teasing. Once Fabio was back up from making some rounds to the club, making sure everything was running smoothly, he let us know that two more women were about to join us. His girl, as he said, but we all knew he never committed to only one and a friend of hers.
Minutes later and as I was engrossed in the blonde kissing my neck, I heard him welcoming the women. Turning my attention to the newcomers, I was shocked to see Rose. Pushing the blonde away from me, I stood up and almost ran towards her.
"Rose. You are here. How did you...?" my heart was beating fast and a strange feeling of guilt crept inside me. I hadn't seen her since she was still in hospital and I didn't know what to tell her.
"Hello Marco. Nice to see you again." Were the only things she said before her friend pulled her hand to guide her to the empty seats on the couch. There goes my relaxing night out.