A/N: Probably gonna need to edit again one of the dayss.
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~ 삼십사 (Thirty Four) - J ~
The parchedness in my throat refused to go away.
Leaning my elbow against the car seat's armrest, I rested my chin on the palm of my hand just as my stomach grumbled loudly. Kwanghee turns back to me immediately with worry written all over his face, signalling that he had heard that unflattering growl.
"Jimin, are you sure you're not hungry?"
"Yeah."
"But I heard you didn't eat anyth-"
"Please just drive." I cut him off short as he and Ryujin looked at each other before sighing and turned back to the front. Food had been the last thing on my mind these past few days.
~*~
"If I'm selfish, then I think you worse Sophie..."
"...You're just a pot calling the kettle black."
"Go think, before you call me something you can call yourself".
~*~
Feeling ashamed was an understatement.
Despite my best efforts in trying to distract myself with long hours of dance and vocal practice for the past few days, in hopes that my body would allow me to pass out in exhaustion, I still couldn't fall asleep each night. I've even been actively avoiding all the members and staying away from the dorm just so that I wouldn't be reminded of what happened, that I didn't have to face her and face the consequences, but it all didn't work. Every night as I laid my head on the pillow, all that replayed in my head was that scene of our fight, where I had left her alone to cry in the corridor.
The guilt gnawed away at me each night.
Because I knew that I, of all people, should have been more empathetic towards her and what she was facing.
Even if she did not want to tell me anything regarding her situation, I should have been more understanding. Furthermore, I knew that she wasn't in the right state of mind back when we were being sexually intimate, but I couldn't help but let those emotions - despite having seeked advice from Namjoon - affect me, my thoughts, and even my actions. Coupled with the burnout that I faced from having been so careful around her as I was so scared of anything being a trigger for her, it had all boiled down to that very fight.
My patience and mentality broke that day.
Now I was truly just a coward, running away from all my problems.
I felt my phone vibrate once in my pocket as I pulled it out, feeling my body go cold upon seeing that I had a new message from someone unexpected. Initially, when I first left the dorm, the members had constantly spam texted and called me non-stop, wanting me to come back and sort things out. However, that spam dwindled after the first two days because I didn't reply, and this was when I knew that they were probably just as disappointed and upset with my actions.
I mean, I would be too if I were them.
The only two people who would still message and check on me every day were Taehyung and Seokjin, asking me to take care of myself and to eat well. Hence, seeing this new message from Hoseok - he stopped messaging and calling after the first day - only made my hands feel clammy.
HS: Ver's Wisteria.
It was an extremely short message. In fact, it was basically just an address venue of where he was at, but the message was clear.
I was to show up, or else...
"Hyung-deul (older brothers)," I called out quietly now as they turned around immediately, surprised that I was even speaking again as I quickly showed them my phone. "Could you drop me off here instead first?"
~*~
I knew he had wanted me to come, but this was not what I'd expected at all.
My whole body felt heavy upon seeing her cry to Hoseok through the window, for they seemed to be talking seriously while he reaches to pat her arm, squeezing it gently with affection as that act alone was enough to stir something dark inside me.
Did he call me over just to make a fool out of me?
"If I see you ever mistreating her for even just a second, I'll steal her away from you immediately."
Hoseok's words were ringing inside my head as I instinctively clenched my hands into fists, feeling my vision go red. I could feel the eyes of the security staff who had situated themselves outside brew with concern as I shot them a look immediately, warning them to not interfere while I pulled out my phone. Contemplating for a good few seconds, I dialed her number as I watched her phone vibrate on the table. She glances at Hoseok in shock, even showing him my caller ID as I couldn't help but grit my teeth together, the anger and jealousy seeped through my veins.
Was it really that easy for her to share things with everyone else but me?
"He...Hello?" She finally answers when Hoseok gestured at her to pick it up.
"Behind you."
They looked like a bunch of deers caught in headlights when they saw me; Sophie's eyes were wide with surprise and shock while Hoseok carried a similar expression, although he definitely did not seem as taken aback as she did. After all, he knew that I was coming, he just didn't think I'd have caught his actions towards her.
What happened next was kind of a whirl.
I stormed into the restaurant, ignoring Sophie's calls towards me as I marched straight up to him and yanked him up by the collars, causing Sophie to gasp out loud while he struggles to pry my grip off him. I held onto his shirt tightly, staring dead into his eyes.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I cursed at him as he stares back at me with a rather dignified expression, which only angered me further.
"I'm treating Sophie to lunch, that is what I'm doing."
"So you called me over just for me to see that?"
"No, I called you over because I think it's about time both of you sort your issues out."
"Sort our issues? Please, don't act so high and mighty it's actually sickening."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I saw your hand on her, Hoseok!" I yelled furiously, not even using honorifics at this point as his eyebrows furrowed immediately in annoyance and confusion.
"You mean me squeezing her arm just now?"
"Duh, what else?"
"What even...She was crying because of you! What did you expect me to do?"
"Oh I don't know, keep your fucking hands away from my woman?"
"I was just trying to comfort her!"
"But you didn't have to touch her."
"Are you seriously going to be this childish right now, Park Jimin?" He taunts as I growled, clenching and raising my fist at him when Sophie suddenly grabs onto my wrist with both hands, pulling it back as I felt my eyes widen upon seeing her scared face.
"P-please stop...why are you both...fighting?" She cries out loud.
Hoseok took this as an opportunity to pull himself away from me, just before he lands a hard punch right across my face. The sound of his fist colliding with my face was so loud that Sophie shrieks wide-eyed in horror while I stumbled back, tripping from the abruptness of the blow before falling onto the floor. Hoseok stumbles back as well, obviously in shock at what he just did.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?" Sophie screams at him, before rushing to my side. I could hear our staff rushing in upon seeing and hearing the commotion from outside as Hoseok hurries over to me while I groaned holding onto my nose, my eyes stinging from the impact as I tasted copper while sitting myself up. His eyes were big with guilt as his hand shakily reached out towards me.
"I'm sorr-"
"No, don't touch him." She snapped, swatting his hand away from me as he backs off immediately, just as blood trickled down my nose. The staff was quick to hand me napkins while Ryujin immediately contacts Sejin, explaining to him about the situation. He would glance at us occasionally, his expression wearing that of concern and disappointment.
Hoseok, who had now withdrawn himself to a corner, was being questioned by Kwanghee and the others while I just closed my eyes, tilting my head up in hopes to stop the blood flow as I could feel Sophie's quiet presence beside me. The only time she spoke was to get me to switch out the first blood-soaked napkin as I stuffed and pressed the new one into my bleeding nostrils.
"I'm fine, don't worry." I said calmly, as I heard her sharp intake of breath.
"I...I didn't say a-anything-"
"I know, but I feel it...your worry." I cut her off gently, opening my eyes as I noticed that she had been crying quietly beside me all this time. Reaching over with my other hand, I gently stroked her cheek, wiping away the tear that had rolled down her face as her eyes just widened at my actions, causing her to look away.
I glanced back to where Hoseok was, seeing him slumped in the corner whilst still talking with the staff. His gaze makes contact with mine for a split second before he quickly looks away, obviously affected by what Sophie had said earlier to him.
Somehow, whatever feelings of anger and jealousy that I had towards him were gone. The negative emotions that loomed within my head had also subsided. It was as though I couldn't even blame him for punching me; as if it was almost like a violent wake-up call, to get the fuck out of my own head, out of my own poisonous thoughts.
"Sophie..." I called to her quietly as she glances at me timidly, the look on her face that seemed so hurt and bothered - just like how she did back then when we fought - only brought back the same overwhelming feelings of guilt for me, along with other feelings.
The feeling of love and longingness.
The truth was, I've missed her too much since the fight, for the time that we had been apart.
"I'm sorry," I whispered out as her eyes widened in surprise before she quietly looks away.
"Oh..."
"I'm sorry...for not being understanding enough..." I said, switching to Korean to better express myself, in hopes that she would understand me. "I know my behaviour was cruel and I've said many hurtful things that day. But, please know that I didn't mean any of it, and it hurts me knowing how much I had probably hurt you...for that I am so sorry."
Sophie still doesn't look at me, and instinctively; I couldn't help but reach out to her, pulling her body close to mine while she gasps aloud with her cheeks tinting pink.
"J-Jimin..."
She doesn't push me away, as I quickly pecked her cheek while she just stares at me wide-eyed.
"I love you." I said with a sad smile.
She opens her mouth, almost as if she wants to say something, but she doesn't. Instead, she just gently leans herself against me, burying her face into my chest as I rubbed her back gently.
This was enough right now, her not rejecting me.
We stayed in this position, all whilst I held the stupid napkins to my nose until Ryujin walks over, slipping his phone into his pocket as he looks at us nervously.
"Um...sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk with Jimin."
Sophie pulls away from me immediately upon hearing it, getting up as she just casts me a soft glance before she leaves to give us both privacy; of which Ryujin nods at her in acknowledgment. He squats down beside me, and I clucked my tongue quietly while bringing my gaze back up on the ceiling.
"So Sejin Hyung wants us to see him right now, am I right?" I asked, almost stating the obvious as Ryujin chuckles warily.
"You sure have sharp intuitions."
"Well Hoseok Hyung just punched me in the face, I would think something is wrong if he didn't care about us getting physical with each other." I remarked with slight sarcasm.
He just sighed before glancing at the napkins that I was still holding against the centre of my face.
"How's the nose?"
I slowly pulled the napkins away to show him. The bleeding had mostly stopped at this point, but I was quite sure that a bruise was going to form. Ryujin sighs again upon seeing it as I almost felt like laughing at how he seemed even more affected by my injury than I was.
"Is it really that bad?"
"Hmm, I would say that you boys should be glad that none of you have any TV appearances right now. As for Bangtan content, we could always film the other members."
"Sorry for making your jobs a whole lot tougher," I mumbled as he just pats my shoulder comfortingly.
"It's fine, it's all part of our work anyway. Plus, you know we're not the ones you should be apologising to." He says kindly before he tilts his head over towards Hoseok, who was just watching us quietly from his corner, before turning his head away once more.
Ryujin glances quickly over to his watch before speaking again. "We'll leave in 5, okay? You boys do what you need to do."
"Okay."
"Also because Sophie isn't allowed to attend this meeting, some of us will escort her back towards the dorm while the two of you will share a vehicle. There are only two cars after all." He adds on as I nodded before a thought flashed through my mind.
"Actually Hyung..." I trailed off, stating my request to him as he looks at me with wide eyes upon hearing it.
"What? Are you sure? Would Sophie even be okay with it?"
"Just explain it to her, I'm sure she'd understand." I say before getting myself off the floor while tossing the napkins into the restaurant's trash bin and dusting myself off.
Carefully, I made my way over to where Hoseok was, leaning against the wall beside him as he doesn't move nor look at me.
"Hi," I said softly.
"Yo."
"We've got to go meet Sejin Hyung..."
"Yeah, I overheard."
"And we're going to share a vehicle."
"Yeap."
"So....that really packed a punch, didn't it?" I tried, but he didn't seem any bit amused with my joke, not even pulling a smile as I just sighed. From the corner of my eye, I could feel Sophie watching us while Kwanghee updates her about the situation. I quickly flashed her a quick thumbs-up, letting her know that it will all be fine as her lips pulls back into a small comforting smile with a nod.
"You know, you shouldn't be too close to me." Hoseok suddenly speaks again, and I already knew what he meant by that.
"Hobi Hyung ah-"
"Just stay away."
"No, I won't. Hobi Hyung doesn't have to feel bad-"
"But I do." He interrupts once more, finally looking me in the eye with his bloodshot-looking ones, indicating that he had cried quietly by himself too as I gulped.
"Ho-Hoseok Hyung..."
"So stay the fuck away."
"Hyung..."
"I...I was so angry..." He admits with a small sigh, rubbing his left elbow with his right hand nervously while turning away. "I was just so angry with the way you treated her, with the way you've been avoiding us and this whole situation, I was even angrier when you came in and started threatening me...I felt so much pent-up anger that I actually..."
"It's okay," I cut him off gently, holding onto his shoulder now and squeezing it as he looks at me with utter disbelief at what I've just said.
"Are you insane? Jimin, I fucking punched you."
"I know, but you were right."
"About?"
"About me being childish, you were right. I mean, she was crying right in front of you, what else could you do but comfort her? Look at me, I'm touching you too right now."
"But this is different, isn't it?" He protests.
"How so?"
"We're friends, but she's...she's-"
"She's your friend too, isn't she Hyung?"
"Jimin..."
"She's a precious friend to all of us, and there was nothing wrong for you trying to comfort her, being there for when a precious friend of yours is in need. So don't worry about it anymore, okay?" I affirmed as he stares at me for a few seconds before he nods reluctantly.
"I guess...."
"You guess?" I teased a little as he rolls his eyes for once.
"Aish...I guess you're right."
"Of course I'm right, I'm always right." I joked, he just raised an eyebrow before shaking his head as I smiled, knowing that things were going to be okay from now on. "Okay come here, let me give you a hug."
I quickly wrapped myself around him like a koala bear before he could deny it, giggling as he lets out a soft but playful sigh.
"I get that we're okay now Jiminie...but was there even a need for this?"
"Of course there is! I missed you and the other members so much, I can't wait to see them soon." I whined as he finally breaks into a small laugh.
"You're acting as if you hadn't seen us in years."
"A few days equates to a few years in my dictionary."
"Right..." He teases as I pouted playfully while he chuckles before his eyes fall onto my probably very bruised nose before he sighs. "I'm still sorry that I punched you."
"Well, just know if you do decide to switch paths to WWE I'll be more than happy to support you and be your manager."
"...Don't make me punch you again."
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[Hyung-Deul = Hyungs in the official plural form, for anyone wondering why I added that]
I absolutely love 'Film Out' and I don't know why but there's something about their Japanese songs (maybe it's just because I understand Japanese a lil more than Korean?) always just gets to me and my Kokoro 😭💜
So, what do y'all think Jimin said to the staff about Sophie's arrangement?
Also, sorry for the delays in my updates!! Honestly, I've not been the most motivated to write these days due to the stress I face from personal commitments in my life such as school and relationships 😓...but while my updates may not be consistent, I can assure you guys that I'm always working on my stories behind the scenes (bts LOL)!! So thank you my readers for always being patient with me, I truly appreciate it.💙
I know I owe the translations for the previous chapter, I'll try to put that in when I can hehe. See you all in the next chapterr! 🤓