Charlie's POV
"Morning Mommy!" a very happy Austy yelled to me from his booster seat at the kitchen table, my Mom having made him a steaming plate of scrambled eggs with two pieces of toast and a glass of orange juice.
"Morning baby!" I said excitedly, coming up behind him as I pressed a kiss to his curly locks. "Look at this breakfast that Grandma made you!" I said with a wide smile, pulling out the chair next to him as I sat down. I grabbed the pitcher of orange juice pouring myself a glass before grabbing one of the blegium waffles that lay on a platter in front of me.
"I know! It so good!" Austy said between mouthfuls of food, causing me to laugh as I reached over and messed up his hair. "Mommy, can we go to the park today?" he asked me, his face hopeful as he scooped another forkful of eggs into his mouth.
"Sure baby, that sounds like a great idea. Maybe Grandma wants to come too?" I asked, shifting my eyes over to my Mom who was quietly washing the dishes that she had used to make breakfast this morning. She looked over her shoulder at me, a wide smile on her face as she nodded her head at me before quickly returning to the task in front of her.
It was no secret that my life has taken a drastic change since I decided on cutting Austin out of my life temporarily three weeks ago. I won't lie that it was probably the hardest few days I have ever had, the burning desire to unblock him from my phone creeping up inside of me several times a day. Maybe if Austin had just been my boyfriend-or whatever you want to say we were for those few days-it would've been a lot easier to stop talking to him and pretend that he didn't exist. But Austin and I had a huge history, spending practically our entire childhood together and even still talking to each other every day for hours when he moved to Dallas.
There were so many memories that came crawling back to me as I worked on removing him from my head. I didn't want to forget any of them, as they were all special and important to me and also partly because I didn't want to forget him all together. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Austin was still a huge part of my life and he would be forever. He was Austy's Dad and despite whatever was going on between us, I never wanted to keep his son away from him.
I sent pictures to Rich and Jodie daily of their Grandson knowing that they were most likely forwarding them on to Austin. What Austin did with them, how he reacted to them, or if he even let his parents send them to him anymore was unbeknownst to me and I was okay with that. In my heart I knew that I was trying to do the right thing while still taking the step back from him that I desperately needed to take.
I still had my moments where I would cry myself to sleep at night, often times when my mind would wander to the what if's that haunted my brain. The main one that always seemed to knock on my door in the late hours of the night being him moving on with his life with another girl. I don't know what killed me the most about that thought, whether it was the fact that he wouldve found someone else or the fact that there was always the possibility that I was going to have to share our son with her knowing that I never got the chance to experience that myself with Austin. The last part of that thought always gave me a sense of entitlement though, that I would have to approve of her before ever letting Austy spend time with his Dad and whoever the new girl was, but it always quickly got expunged knowing that that would never happen.
"Mommy?" I heard Austy ask me, my thoughts being quickly brought back to my present surroundings as I looked over at him with a smile.
"Yes Austy" I said, reaching out my hand as I grabbed his small one in mine giving it a tiny shake.
"Will I ever see Daddy again?" he asked me, his voice sad as he moved his eggs around on his plate aimlessly with his fork. I shot my eyes over to my Mom for just a brief second as she gave me a weak smile. I knew that she couldn't help me out with this, this decision was completely up to me. Deep down I knew that he would, I just couldn't give him an exact time of when that would be.
Letting out a sigh I wrapped my other hand around his as I looked him directly into the crystal blue irises that identically matched those of his Dad, "yes Austy you will see Daddy again one day. I don't know when, but I know that you will" I smiled at him. He looked at me for what felt like forever before he gave a final head nod satisfied enough with the answer he received for now.
"Mom are you almost ready so we can take Austy to the park?" I asked her. Although it was early in the morning, it was already 75 and sunny a sure sign that later in the day was going to be well into the 80's and muggy not making it a great time to go to the park.
"Yup" she said with a quick head nod. I got up from my seat grabbing Austy's plate from in front of him as I emptied the remaining pieces of egg into the garbage disposal and setting the white plate in the deep stainless steel of the sink.
"Why don't you go get your shoes on Austy so we can get going okay?" I asked him as I watched him carefully get himself out of his booster seat before he ran over to the door sliding on his shoes.
"You seem good today" my Mother said to me with a smile as she hung the towel she had used to dry the dishes over the handle of the black oven. I walked over to her wrapping my arms around her as I gave her a tight hug.
"I am, it seems like it is going to be a good day today" I said with a head nod as I pulled away from her, grabbing my long hair that was cascading over my shoulders into a messy bun that sat high on the crown of my head before resting my left arm on the counter and my right arm on my hip.
"Did you text Casey today?" she asked me, the question catching me off guard. I had made up with Casey enough where we would talk briefly one or two times a week, but I still feel like our friendship was tarnished enough where I couldn't confide in her like I used to. I missed that part of us, that bond that we had formed but it was nice to have her back in my life again even if it was under these new circumstances.
"No why?" I asked her, my eyebrows crunching together as I shook my head at her slightly.
"It's her wedding today sweetheart. I kind of thought you were going to forget about it since you decided that you weren't going to go" she laughed.
"Oh my God that's right! Tell Austy I will be right back I'm going to go give her a call" I said, grabbing my phone off the counter as I ran to the stairs heading to my room to give her a call. I walked through the threshold, closing the door part way behind me as I crashed on my bed holding my phone to my ear as I waited for her to answer.
"Hello?" she said, her tone of voice confused making it apparent that she didn't even take a sideways glance at the name before she answered.
"Happy wedding day Casey!" I said happily into the phone, a happy yet nervous sounding laugh coming through the speaker.
"Thanks Charlie! How are you? Are you doing okay?" she asked me, her consideration of my feelings on a day that was supposed to be all eyes on her making me feel slightly guilty.
"Yeah, I'm doing good. I finally am starting to feel like myself again if that makes any sense" I said letting out a sigh as I closed my eyes, hoping that talking about it didn't send me into a bad place.
"It does Charlie. I know it was so hard for you to make that decision but I think you have become a stronger person from it" she said, a smile evident in her voice.
"Thanks Case. I won't lie, it's still hard. The what if's get me all the time, but I know it isn't forever. I know that I'm going to let him back in, I just need some more time" I said, smiling shyly to myself as I sat up on my bed.
"I knew you would, you love him too much to just let him go" she said laughing into the phone as I heard what sounded like a group of girls walk into wherever Casey was.
"Yeah, your right I do" I said to her, realizing that even after all these weeks my feelings for him haven't changed.
"He still loves you too you know" I felt my breath catch at her words, my heart suddenly forgetting what it's main function was as it sat without beating in my chest for what felt like several minutes before it jolted itself awake again. "I know you've been trying to stay Austin free, but I have to tell you. He asks about you every day Charlie. He tells me that he's sent you a message every morning and every night since you blocked him."
I brought my right hand up to cover my mouth, tears welling up in my eyes as I listened to what she had to say. I kind of figured that this would have an impact on him, but I didn't think it was going to be anything like this. I had thought he was going to be broken up about it for a day or two, then his busy life was going to consume him and he was going to forget that we weren't talking and carry on with his life, most likely find a new girl and be happy. I never thought he would still be waiting for me. For a normal person, the amount of time I had been silent was minimal but for Austin three weeks might as well be three years with the way he acted.
"Charlie?" I heard Casey ask, her voice sounding distant as it floated to me through the speaker.
"Uh, yeah sorry. I'm here" I said with a laugh, wiping at the few tears that were resting underneath my eyes.
"He can't stop talking about Austy either. He says that Rich and Jodie send him pictures all the time. He regrets the way he acted that day, he tells me often" she said quietly, the sound of her approaching bridal party drifting away as it seemed like she was moving to a quieter spot.
"Casey, what are you trying to tell me?" I asked her, sensing my hopeful good day start to swirl down the drain as I felt a new feeling take over me. One that was going to involve serious contemplation and possibly several tears.
"All I'm telling you is, I think he's ready to listen Charlie. I think he's realized what he has done to you and the damage that it has done to you. It sucks it took him up to you blocking him for him to realize it, but don't turn your back on him completely just think about giving him a chance" I let out a sigh at her words as they rolled around in my head.
"I will Casey" I said with a smile as I nodded my head, knowing that she was right. Austin was always the kind of guy that waited for the consequence to know that he truly fucked something up. As horrible of a quality that it was, I don't think it was ever something that was going to change.
"He also has asked me if you changed your mind about the wedding" she said sadly.
"And?" I asked her.
"I told him no that you won't be here. He has opted to step out of standing up with Mark politely apologizing saying that he didn't think he could walk down the aisle with anyone but you" her words making me chuckle, he always had the tendency of being a diva and this was one of those instances.
"Well at least he's still coming, that's more than I can say" I said to her sadly, but slightly relieved when I heard her laugh through the phone.
"It was a momentary lapse in judgement that I am willing to overlook given the circumstances. I'm just glad that we are working on getting our friendship back Charlie, but I am going to miss you like fucking crazy today" she said, her words pulling slightly on my heart.
"I'm going to miss being there too. Please send me pictures, I know that you are going to make a beautiful bride" I said with a smile.
"Thank you Charlie and I will" she said quietly.
"And Case" I said biting my lip as I waited for her to answer.
"Yeah?"
"Tell Austin that I said hi and that I hope he is doing well. I'm also going to send you a picture that I want you to send to him okay?" I waited for her response as I heard her quietly talking to someone that walked into the room.
"I will Charlie. I have to go, the salon is here to do our hair" a small sigh left my lips as I realized I should be there with her while she celebrated her special day instead of giving her my well wishes over the phone.
"Congratulations Casey, tell Mark too please. Enjoy your day and no tears" I laughed, pointing my finger at an imaginary person that was standing in front of me as she gave me a quick bye before hanging up the phone.
I let out a long sigh, falling back into my mattress giving, sending the picture off to Casey before giving myself just a few minutes to regain my happy composure before walking back downstairs to my Mom and Austy. After laying there for several minutes, I got myself up and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where my Mom and Austy were working on spelling his name with playdough.
"You guys ready?" I asked with a forced smile, resting both of my hands on the countertop as I caught my Mom eyeing me suspiciously.
"Yup. Come on Austy, we will clean this up when we come home" my Mom said as we walked out the door with Austy who immediately sprinted ahead of us just a little ways, stopping when I had called out to him that that was far enough and to wait until we got closer to move.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" my Mom asked me as we slowly walked down the sidewalk to meet up with Austy.
"Yeah actually, just.. give me a few minutes" I said, turning my body halfway to look at her as I flashed her a smile. She nodded her head at me, seemingly happy with my answer as we walked towards the park in a comfortable silence.
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A/N: Things really seem to be looking up for Charlie, it seems like she has made a lot of positive strides over the last three weeks. It's also refreshing to see that she is building up her relationship with Casey, but what do you think about the news she had to share with Charlie? As always I love reading your comments and thank you so much for reading!
I also want to apologize in advance. My update schedule may be slightly off this week due to a small surgery I'm having tomorrow but will do my best to publish what I already have completed.
~Update Schedule~
3-17-2021: I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown
3-18-2021: What Happens In Vegas
3-19-2021: I'm No Good At Goodbyes
3-20-2021: Chance Encounters
3-21-2021: Changed Since Texas