Diagon Alley was run down.
The shops we used to buy our first school supplies, or did other errands, were empty and trashed down, left in nothing but ruins.
Once the wizarding world was informed about You-Know-Who's returning, almost every shop couldn't pay for their rent, or was either raided by the death eaters, since no one was particularly graving for a shopping trip in fear for uninvited wizards or witches crashing it.
I didn't know how, but Ron's brothers did the impossible. The shop, which Fred and George opened after they left the school last year, was still open and bustling with young magicians.
The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes shop was filled with students as Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione and I walked in. Everything was moving, everything was charmed in a fun or lovely way, which made the store a wonderland for young prankers or people who wanted to enjoy their sortiments of special treats and joke articles.
As Hermione and Ginny skipped over towards a pink stand on which small vails in the shape of hearts were laying in and Harry was interested in a black, glittering powder, was I distracted by a boy with black hair standing with his back turned towards me.
Blaise was running his fingers over a vail of the love potion Hermione and Ginny were standing at too, not noticing that I approached.
„Blaise Zabini, did you hide the fact you're having a crush on someone from me all the time, or why are you eying something banal as love potion like it's pure gold?", I snickered and stationed myself behind him. But as soon as he heard my voice, he turned around and pulled me in for a tight hug.
„It's so good to see you.", he grinned in my hair.
The boy got taller, his body more defined as I hugged him. And his smile was warm as he kept me one arm length in front of him to look at me.
„It's good to see you too, Blaise.", I smiled back softly. „Especially here, did you come alone?"
„Actually.", Blaise raised his eyebrows and pointed at another black-haired boy eying the shelf with puke pastils and other treats suspicious. His face softened as he caught my gaze, quickly walking over to greet me with a hug.
„Fox, you look good.", Theo grinned and pushed his hands in the pockets of his coat.
He was still a terrible liar.
I knew that I looked terrible, because I didn't sleep that night and my skin was pale as if I was empty of blood.
„Hey, do you have a minute? I wanted to talk to you.", Theodore formed small wrinkles on his forehead, before he tilted his head towards the entrance.
„Sure, Blaise here is probably busy enough coming up with an excuse, why he's interested in love potion for the next few minutes.", I snickered and followed Theodore towards the door.
„Yeah, Fox, take your time, so that I can think about a believable explanation.", the Slytherin shook his head amused and laid the vail back into the shelf, as we walked out into the dark street of Diagon Alley.
Theodore diverted me towards a bench standing a few steps down the shop, shielded from people entering and leaving.
„You're okay?", he asked as soon as we sat down. I crossed my legs before my arms came around my knee, right as he laughed out half-hearted. „Probably a pathetic question."
„I'm okay.", I answered with a small smile, even though I was relieved that he didn't see it fully by the dark surroundings.
Because I was really not. But I was good in hiding.
The boy's eyes were plastered on his hands, debating how he should say what he wanted to say. But I could easily think about his intention already.
Because of the drama taking place in my family and with the news spreading like a wildfire that my father was a death eater, the ball in the accusation of Theodore and me, which was planned for the summer, was cancelled. Not because his parents weren't supporters of the Dark Lord, but for the public eye.
I was relieved, of course, because I wasn't looking forward to get promised in the first place. But clearly I would've preferred other circumstances.
„Listen, Tiara.", Theodore started after a deep inhale. „I just wanted to make sure you're holding up. Even though we're not, you know, getting promised, I wanna know how you are in some way."
I tried to inhale, but it felt as if my body was challenged to hold my breath for as long as I could. Just a little bit longer than the last time. Just a second longer until the edge of my vision got blurry a bit.
„Well, my father was always the part of our family swearing on reputation.", I huffed. „He always told us that we need to behave and keep the big picture, our future and the family's name in view. And now he's the one who imploded us. He's gone, my sister is - gone - and I'm scared to go back to school by all the articles which were written all summer. I'm scared for reporters behind every corner. I'm scared that I'm going crazy. So, yes, I'm holding up, Theo."
„You're not alone in this, you know that, don't you?", his hand came up to pull my chin higher, until I was looking at him, before I nodded.
„Good.", he smiled and let go. „Not gonna lie, I was kinda relieved as I heard you would get promised to me. At least you're smart, you're friendly and beautiful. You would've been a good catch."
I rolled my eyes and brought my hands under my legs to lean a bit forward.
„Well, you will find someone fitting Theo.", I chuckled. „Someone who will love you and who will appreciate that you're a good one."
„But we keep friends, Fox, right?", the boy suggested shyly and tried to catch my gaze again.
„Of course.", I nodded. „I would love that."
Talking to Theo and feeling at least a bit as if I wasn't alone in this, was relieving in some way. He seemed to be serious about it, still in his best behavior.
Once we entered the shop again, I asked Blaise if he saw Harry and the others, but my friend assured me, that he saw them leaving the shop shortly after Theo and me.
I couldn't think that they left without me, so I kissed my goodbyes to the two boys and vanished back outside to look for them. But it wasn't until I did a few steps into the street, that I saw them rushing out and towards me from around the corner of Borgin and Burkes.
Hermione's eyes were thoughtful, while Harry and Ron were in discussion about something they quitted, as soon as they saw me standing in the street with crossed arms.
„I thought you left me behind.", I chuckled halfhearted, but my amusement fell as they didn't return my grin or said something.
„What's going on?", I asked curious, looking especially at Hermione since she was always someone speaking out the truth.
„We need to talk to you.", Harry said instead. „We just saw something."
„Okay, what is it?", I asked. „Just spit it out, I'm not in the mood for mysterious shit."
„Of course.", Hermione laid her hand on my shoulder, stroking it softly. „We just saw Draco."
****
„Harry, I swear, if you're saying that one more time, I'm loosing my mind!", I leaned back in the carriage of the Hogwarts Express, closing my eyes exhausted by the dark-haired's conspiracy theories.
„Okay, Fox, but you have to admit, that it's odd.", Ron chipped in and leaned himself forward, chewing on a piece of chocolate. „What was Draco doing with that weird looking cabinet? And who were those people?"
„I don't know, Ron, because I didn't see anything.", I spat at him and crossed my arms annoyed.
They told me about their observations as we were back at the burrow. Hermione said they sneaked on a roof, watching the strange people and Draco including his mother with them. They seemed tense in her opinion, as if there was something big going on.
„Don't you see? It was a ceremony, an initiation.", Harry answered before he clapped his hands on his lap, leaning back opposite me.
„If you're trying to say what I think you wanna say, I dare you to speak it out loud!", the tone in my voice was threatening, my eyes pinned on him, but Harry knew me too well to be intimidated by me in a serious way. He had respect for me, he tried to avoid really annoying me, but when it came to Draco, the boy was blinded by hate towards his blonde opponent.
„It's happening, he's one of them.", he then said anyway, even though his eyes were more on my neck, right where the necklace was laying, then directly at my eyes.
„Okay, that's it.", I stood up and glared at him in a mixture of anger and disappointment. „I'm going to find Blaise or El. I will not sit here and listening to your fantasies, Harry. I know you're trying your best to do something against You-Know-Who and his men. And I'm the last person who isn't there to hold your back, believe me. But putting something like this on Draco's back goes too far."
„He's one of what?", Ron asked, looking between his best pale and me now standing at the door, my hand on the handle.
„Harry is under the impression that Draco is now a death eater.", Hermione rolled her eyes and looked at me. „But Tiara, you don't have to go. Please stay."
„Are you mental? What does You-Know-Who wants with a jerk like Malfoy.", Ron snickered at the dark-haired, right before I looked at Hermione determined.
„Yeah, well, that's my cue, see you later.", I breathed out and opened the door, leaving the carriage without another gaze.
Once I stood at the corridor, I walked towards the Slytherin compartment, before I leaned myself against a delimitation to take a deep breath. The steady sound of the train pulling towards Hogwarts was relaxing, a dull sound of students laughing in the background.
I was exhausted and the school year hadn't even started. My mother told me it would be okay if I wanted to skip the year. That she would understand, if I needed this year to progress what happened. To find a way handling things.
But I couldn't just sit still and do nothing anymore. If I would stop again, I mean truly stop for days in a row, I would collapse. I knew that.
And these weren't times where one of us could allow ourself to take a long break. Especially not me. I needed to find out what this prophecy was about, I needed help in figuring out what was happening to me, why I could do what I did in the ministry. And I needed to help my friends ending this war, at least to revenge my sister.
„Tiara?"
A too familiar voice rang out from behind me, the steps stopped just a few inches away.
As I turned around, lifting back up straight, I looked into tired eyes surrounded by pale and hollow skin. His hair neatly styled, but in deep contrast to the black suit he was wearing and almost matching the color of his face.
„Draco.", I greeted and looked at him with the attempt of a smile.
I didn't really know how to react. The last time we saw each other, we were both crying on my sisters grave. But as the boy saw my face, his tensed up body relaxed a bit, before he overcame the space and pulled me into a hug. His arms tracing over my back, stroking me through the fabric of the dress I was wearing. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of my shampoo probably as much as I did inhale his perfume.
He got taller, much taller to say the truth.
„You have no idea how good it is to see you.", he then said, almost bringing my walls to crack again. But right where I was on the edge to cry, I could steady myself and pulled away.
„It's good to see you too.", I smiled and distracted my eyes with his parted lips instead of looking in his.
„I'm sorry that I didn't send you a letter over the summer. There was a lot going on with everything." Draco lifted his weight from one foot to the other, before I signalized him to walk with me towards the Slytherin part of the train.
„Yeah, well, I saw your face in the daily prophet often, so I took that as a life sign.", it was a small attempt to lighten the mood and by at least one corner of his lips curled up a bit, it was partly successful.
„Wasn't the best summer break for us.", he huffed sarcastically as two Ravenclaw students crossed our way quickly.
„You could say that.", I agreed as I watched the two girls eying us suspicious.
„Tiara.", Draco laid his hand on my arm to make me stop before we could enter the carriage, letting a shiver crawling down my spine. „We're good, right? I - I'm worried about you and I wanna make sure that you know that I'm, you know, there for you when you need me."
I nodded, but he stopped me, as I was about to move on.
"I need to hear it.", he whispered and finally diverted my eyes up to his hard features. Just for a second.
„We're good, Draco.", I answered honestly and stroked his arm.
The compartment was filled with pair of eyes shooting in my direction as soon as we stepped in. Draco had already stationed himself on a table with Blaise and Theo, while Pansy, Daphne, Crabbe and Goyle sat on the one to the right. As it turned out, Draco saved me the seat on his side, before he went for the serving trolley to get some treats.
„Good, Fox, I just thought you wouldn't come sitting with us.", Blaise smiled as we sat down, Theodore nodding in response.
„You're not getting rid of me that easily.", I joked and looked over to Pansy whose eyes were clued on me. As soon as our gaze met, she blushed and lifted her lips to a small, but soft smile. Not at all ironic like I was used to.
We were about an hour and a half into the train ride and Blaise was telling us stories about his summer. I felt a little bit more loosen up, even a bit relaxed hearing stories not containing something like trials, hearings, conspiracies or death. Normal things happening in normal summer vacations.
Draco made sure that our legs slightly touched under the table, at some point he laid his hand on his knee in a way his fingers slightly traced my skin there, making goosebumps explode on my body even though there were still tights between us.
But his eyes were thoughtful pinned on the package of jellyslugs. The blonde had sorted out some red and green ones for me, but I hadn't touched them.
„So, that's why you were eying the love potion in Diagon Alley. Because of the girl you met on your trip to Italy? Did you want to send it with an owl?", I raised my eyebrows playfully along with the corner of my mouth as Blaise rolled his eyes with the topic.
„No? She was just nice. I wasn't eying anything for that matter, I was just curious.", he answered with a shrug.
„No need to be jealous, Tiara.", Theodore laughed and threw a piece of chocolate in the air before he caught it with his mouth.
I could feel Draco next to me tensing up, pulling his hand away in the slightest, so he wasn't touching my knee anymore.
„I'm not, Theo. I'm just interested in my best friends love life.", I said clearly with the intension to make Draco relax again.
„I'm flattered, but isn't it Harry since you went to him and not me for hostage over the summer? That's a hit in the belly if he's finding out I'm stealing that position.", Blaise huffed amused and woke Draco's curiousness even more, as he lifted himself back up to an upright position.
„Wait, you spend your summer holidays with Potter?", he asked with deep wrinkles on his forehead, clearly uncomfortable with the thought.
„No, just a few days. I needed a change of wallpaper.", I answered.
Draco's eyes softened a bit, but before he could exhale the words on the tip of his mouth, the carriage suddenly filled with black smoke, making me freeze in the spot.
It wasn't like back in the ministry, but the image of black clouds brought back the memory of the death eaters, grabbing us right before the battle took place.
My breath fastened along with my heartbeat as I clenched my fists on the edge of the table, trying to take deep breaths.
Inhale, Exhale, Inhale, Exhale, it's not that hard Fox.
„Who's that?", I heard Draco calling out, his voice sounded farer away then before and as the smoke cleared out, I saw him standing tense in the aisle between the tables.
„Relax.", Pansy rolled her eyes, while Daphne played with a hair strain between her fingers amused. „Probably a first year doing pranks."
„Sit down, Draco. Come on. We'll be in Hogwarts soon.", Blaise said once the carriage was clear again and surprisingly the blonde did as he was told. But it wasn't escaping me, that his eyes were directed to the luggage rack above us, curiously watching.
„Are you alright?", I asked in a small voice as Blaise and Theo got into conversation with the other girls about their subjects this year. As always the discussion about their choices.
„What?", Draco furrowed his eyebrows as his head shot around. His eyes caught mine for a second, so I diverted them down on my hand coming up to his arm now, slightly stroking.
„I asked, if you're alright.", I said again, but Draco was quick to interrupted me right away.
„Yes.", he said a little bit too fast and a little bit too forceful, before he turned to the others. „All this talk about classes and Hogwarts. What a pathetic excuse of a school. I'd pitch myself off the astronomy tower if I had to continue for another two years."
„What do you mean?", I asked with my pulse picking up at the quick change of mood with his hard features.
„Let's just say you won't see me wasting my time in Charms class next year."
Blaise huffed amused and shared a look with Theo.
„Amused Blaise? We'll see just who's laughing in the end.", Draco fired at him, his hands on the table fiddling with the ring he was wearing.
„Would you calm down?", Theodore raised his eyebrows, right before a strange silence laid itself over our table before the boys kept going with asking me about my choice of subjects this year. But I hadn't thought about that yet.
Once the train stopped on the platform, it already turned dark outside. We collected our things and were about to head out to continue towards the castle as I noticed Draco remaining on his seat at the table, once he let me stand up.
„You're coming?", I asked, while Blaise and Theo already followed Daphne and Pansy towards the door.
„Just go on, I will control something first.", the blonde said, playing with his hand lifting up on the wooden surface. His face unreadable.
„Okay, I'll wait outside-„, I suggested and pointed at the door, but was quick to turn back around as Draco called out.
„No, you'll go.", he spat at me and softened his face apologizing right after. His eyes hardly demanding to just leave.
And that's what I did, but I couldn't ignore the fact that his tone of voice bothered me. He seemed on edge and unsettled in a way which surprised me.
„Fine.", I said in a small voice and left through the door, aware that Draco was quick to pull down the covers, shutting down the carriage and me once more out.