"Was that your worst encounter with a sasaeng, hyung?"
Don't you just ever wish, for your hands that swipe right, click the heart, and many more, just might meet with the artist you are giving all your support to? To have your heartbeat so near, yet hopefully not too loud for them to hear up close? To see their smile that is so blinding on your screen, and see it smile for you?
These are wishes upon the stars, that are possible. They are not as far-fetched as miracles, or as dreams in one's sleep. Because these can happen in fan signs. To have them so near.
At the same time, it isn't just an experience for the fan but the artist themselves. To see those who support them, whether, by their names in front, or anonymous online, they finally get to see their faces. To see their smiles that are behind all the love, and brings them immense happiness to give back.
Stray Kids have always been open with their love for STAYs. These people, coming from different backgrounds have created a ground of commonality, at the same time the boys made this possible too. So they look out for them, they try and check-up at a distance they can. Just a line away, if possible.
Each boy has their own way to show this. Whether by going live, posting on their social media, with the efforts they give like the lyrics, the music, the choreography, or even practicing for a performance deemed worthy of the love given. They all have their different ways, but no one could ever say that one loves their fans less than the other. Because after all, hearts aren't meant to be measured on a scale. It is measured with intention, action, love languages, and all the kindness a person could fit in their heart to give.
Yet sometimes, the blur between love, and infatuation is rather barely there. Or maybe, barely noticed and barely given attention.
Infatuation can cause someone to do acts so cruel to their humanity, and poisonous to others. To hurt the one you supposedly love, just for you to express your love---is it really that feeling? Are you selfish towards the people you love? No. You can love yourself and make that also a priority and that is not selfish. But to hurt someone, cause them to retreat into a state of panic and pain that is a cycle, that is selfish. That is so cruel also.
Who are these people? There are many. They can go by many names, and given many titles to restrain their definitions. But in the Kpop community, everyone is familiar with the term sasaengs. And the terror that comes with the word.
And one of the most striking sasaeng moments of Leon, just happened that day at the fan sign.
His heart was full, overflowing, and ready to give not just the excess, but as much as his heart could expand to and express. Leon's smile was not for a general audience, but he held a smile for each fan. He did not make them have the smile of the others but a smile just for them. Because he loved the atmosphere they were also given. No fan held their phone to his face as of now, and they just wanted to speak with them.
The trace of his darker clothes earlier was not in sight because of all their well thought of gifts. One of which was a lab coat and a doctor's stethoscope. His smile after receiving this had a hint of some buried mischief in the older brother role, that the members and fans saw.
"I love your gift! Thank you. May I ask though, did you think it would suit me before I wore it?" His voice was deep enough for those who heard slip in dreamland for a second. So alluring, and so resonating against one's heart that they fell in too close with the word love. So the fan who he was addressing had her whole entity basically in a state of dreaming beyond this world. But she tried her best to answer him because his voice was as much pleasing as his smile and she wanted to hear more.
"I did! You mentioned that you didn't consider becoming a doctor but I understand why people said you would look good as one. So I based it off of there." She was bold, surely. And the boy had enjoyed it. He loved how real these people could be with him because that is the connection he always wished to forge using the tool of music.
So as he offered his hand, the girl was more surprised with each passing second. His hand that she knew played much importance, was so soft still. Had a lingering warmth despite the coolness, and it exhibited spring, she thought. Yet to feel the stethoscope gently past her wrist, and have his ear listen through, had her heart in a concert with one person yet a full stadium of attention.
His gentle bite to his lip, as his eyes tried to meet hers. And his hand gently brushing off the bangs, to see clearly, had made her sure that he was a prince in all the books she read. Yet to hear his words, which he always mentioned was something he had pride in and gently took care of, was the cause of combustion with no injuries. Because it was a fire so beautiful, maybe not set in the sky like fireworks yet was more comforting and safer to approach than that. Except for the fact that maybe Leon bias wrecked everyone, even the boys that his heart was for.
"I can hear your heart, and mine already joined to not be one, but rather create a symphony with it. It beats so beautifully, uniquely yours."
His voice, although soft, magnified at the event. And squeals, sudden confessions, and many more were heard. The boys themselves did not even try to hide their sudden draw to him. Their attention was on him, as he focused on the girl.
She was given more than what she ever imagined so when she was gently asked to move, she did not hold any grudges. Most especially when Leon wished to see her again, whether in a crowd or online with her happiness shining through and drawing more people in.
Some were emotional, and it brought him the honor to be trusted much with that. Some were excited and thankful, and he was just as much. Some skipped him, and he respected that. Although there are doubt and curiosity in his heart on the reasons, who was he to ask? But with all the boys and girls that he met with, he was thankful to all of them and was thankful for fate aligning.
But sadly, not all fans are like them. Some ask for a lot and wish to control and take what they think is theirs. Even if it never was, and never should be.
But all the artists knew to exhibit patience because they needed to be the bigger person, and sometimes fans were just too excited. Yet, if their hearts are not only pulled but their bodies demanded to be someone's isn't that harsh, and isn't that traumatic?
So many good memories, he made himself not forget just because of one traumatic moment, at least for him.
The fan seemed to be calm, and genuine. Yet there was curiosity in Leon on why she stopped her album, and other things to be signed by him. His heart was expecting that she just didn't like him and that it was okay. Yet maybe he should've wished for that harder.
"Leon, I love your outfits in the MVs and stages." Her comment was sweet, and he did say his gratitude. He even tried to joke that he wasn't sure about it fitting him at first. Yet that was when things started to get tense. His smile was trying to be as relaxed as it was, yet his skin was tight.
"You should accept my compliments. I mean, I know what's best for you."
The boy smiled and nodded slowly, hoping that things wouldn't escalate into something bad if ever. He also didn't want to offend the fan, so he did try for his words to be fitted for her. But she cut in once again, now a bit closer and far off on the edge of her seat.
"You don't have to speak Leon. I know you already spoke to many, but I have an idea on what you could do." So he used his words for this because maybe the fan was too worried for him and won't enjoy the experience of the fan sign.
"My voice today is all for STAYs, so you don't have to worry. But I would love to hear your suggestion on what I could do." So his distance with the fan was getting shorter and shorter. Although there is space from the table, he wonders how near she wanted to be. But his hand was open, and wish to also meet hers. Yet she wanted something else that he had a right to say no.
It had happened so suddenly, and it honestly had made his body go into a state of panic almost. It is because her hands suddenly grabbed his collar, and shoved his face near hers. Forcing their lips to meet.
In the first milliseconds, it was like nothing moved. Yet he could feel pain, discomfort, and violation trying to suffocate him. But when he tried to battle against these emotions, his body physically took a softer approach. Finding his hands at her shoulders and trying to gently pull away without harming her. Yet she had hurt him. Violated his space, and his lips left bitten at her fangs.
The members by his side happened to be both younger than him. Yet both tried assisting him yet they couldn't get him out of her grasp. As much as her lips bit into his, her nails had tried to possess his skin too. Luckily, the security took action quickly. Stray Kids' personal bodyguards had hugged him from behind and pulled him away from her as the venue's security took her away.
Her body almost looked like it was convulsing as they separated her from him. But her laughter stood out the most and had crept the boy further.
"I claimed you, Leon! Your lips are now mine! Mine I say! You cannot be apart from me for too long!"
The team responsible for their health quickly pulled up to check on him. Her nails that drew blood against his skin, was treated gently. Even the sense of touching him was treaded because they knew experiences like this, is something not easy to get over and can scar even the core of a person. So they told him that there were only three fans left for him to meet, but he wanted to still meet them. And despite their hesitance, they allowed him, but now sat him by Chan and Lee Know's sides because both boys initiated they were next to him. The three fans were so loving, and didn't touch him but left their gifts and said quiet words. They led the conversation and did not say anything they thought could trigger him.
So now, while they were in the dorm. All cuddled up and taking care of Leon, this question might have triggered him. But he knew that it came from someone who was genuinely concerned and meant no harm. So his body and mind did not go to a state of panic but were allowed to be further embraced by Changbin and Hyunjin who were closest to him.
"It was one of the scariest, for sure but not the worst. The worst I can say is when one of the people I held closest to my heart became one, sasaeng I mean."
A/N: Hello! I hope that this gave another glimpse into the idol life of Leon. I have a few questions related to the chapter, a brief update, and hopefully exciting news!
1. Would you wish for the sasaeng moment implied in the line, "The worst I can say is when one of the people I held closest to my heart became one, sasaeng I mean," be told here or made a chapter?
2. Would you want a chapter for different sasaeng moments?
3. What are your thoughts on the writing style of this chapter?
4. Have you seen Stray Kids on Kingdom? OMG I could only say
So I told you all that the mid-semester just finished yet I feel like since they are compressing our semester so much, I have so many things to do just for school and it's so close to burning me out I admit. For a week I have to ready two five hundred paged books, another set of novels for each language class I take. Then I have to watch three movies before a test date, which is so near to the start of this new half. Then I have these extra classes, and being a mentor to younger students so --- But yes, so things are getting so quick. But my summer is so near, it's already on the third of April so by then I would be able to write a lot since it's my passion. I'll make it up to you guys there!
Then, on March 1 my Seventeen member book is released. So I hope you enjoy that, then my BTS added member is also this March. I've prewritten a few things enough to sustain before April.
Last, thank you for everything truly. From the follows, to the adds, to the votes, to the comments, to the reads, and many more things. Thank you for contributing to my happiness. - Aid