Kon hums and swings his legs. Kin sticks his tongue out and rummages his hand under the couch while (Y/N)'s chest rises and lowers as he naps on the table.
"Ooh!"
"Notes of sour cream."
Kon opened his mouth and Kin presses the chip on his tongue.
"Onion...lint...four Saturdays ago. An excellent week for potato chips."
Laney frowns.
"I really wanna be disgusted by this, but it's kind of fascinating!"
"Guys! Look what I found!"
Corey ran into the garage, a flyer in hand.
"You found more chips!?"
"No. Better!"
"It's a poster for the Peaceville Annual Pollination Nation Pageant! It's this weekend and Grojband is gonna rock the coronation off the new queen bee!"
Kin grit his teeth, "Core, a gig's a gig, but a pageant is..."
"Poofy! Dainty! Frilly! Fancy-pantsy! Clicky-shoesy! Creepy-smiley! RIDICULOUS!"
"In short I think they're strange."
"Wacha talkin' about," (Y/N) slurs and rolls his neck.
Kon grumbles, "Corey didn't get me chips," he pauses, "Oh, and there's this pageant thing."
"I was in one of those," (Y/N)'s mumbles get's cut off by fits of giggles coming by, you guessed it, Geekcules.
"YOU?!" Kin cackles himself off the couch. The rest of Grojband bite their lips or cover their smiles to escape (Y/N)'s humiliated scorn.
"You were a DRAG QUEEN?!" Kin wheezes as (Y/N) yanks his collar.
"I will BITE YOUR NECK OFF."
Kin pats (Y/N)'s shoulder, "Okay, okay. I'll stop, but only if you tell me how on Earth they let you in, and why."
(Y/N) glances at the rest of Grojband and he sighs heavily.
"You know Mayor Mellow doesn't care who signs up. As long as it happens. They also gave out money for 1st prize," He let's go of Kin and pushes him back on the couch.
Corey suddenly snaps his fingers.
"That's even better!"
"Huh?"
Corey sighs and snakes his arms through (Y/N) and Laney's shoulders, "Guys, this town has like fifty pageants and junk a year!"
"If we nail this crowning achievement, we'll be ✨the go-to pageant band✨ with a gig every week! And it all starts with our first ever coronation song!"
Laney glares, "Do you have lyrics for that first ever coronation song?"
"Not yet!"
"Um, ALSO what does that have to do with me, Riffman?"
"All we have to do is make Trina win the pageant, she writes something sweet and sappy in her diary, and we're honey golden!"
"Now, we have an actual pageant winner to 'guide' Trina into winning!"
Corey smirks and folds the poster into a paper airplane. He then retracts his arm and flies the plane to Trina's room.
"Ow!"
"Problem solved."
_____________________________________
Trina twitches her eye after Mina was grasping her ankles.
"The Queen Bee..."
"GASP! I'm totally that already! Now I can have a real crown to prove it!~"
She turns the flyer around to face. Mina squints to read the tiny text.
She glances behind her, "But it says the Queen Bee is the sweetest honey drop in Peaceville. That doesn't sound like-"
"ANYONE BUT ME?!"
Mina shrivels into a ball, cowering below Trina.
"You're right," What, "I better not lose that pageant or I'll be wickedly unhappy for the rest of like ever!"
_____________________________________
Corey sticks his head through the gap of Trina's door.
"Corey," Kin starts, "The queen is supposed to be sweet as honey!" He clasps his hands together, "Your sister's more like honey garlic."
"Hold the honey."
"Trina is definitely a bitter pill," Corey pursed his lips.
"So we'll just have to be her...artificial sweetener!"
_____________________________________
Mayor Mellow floats down in a bee costume carrying a picture of his mother.
"Gentle ladies and merry men, Mother and I would like to welcome one and all to the Peaceville Pollination Nation Pageant!"
"Now let's meet our darling little bees!"
The mayor gestures towards three little girls in cute outfits.
The girls smile and giggle as the crowd coos.
"One of them will be crowned queen and the others will buzz off!"
"AUGH!"
Trina taps her foot on the floor. Mina is trying to sew the dress faster.
"Ugh! Mina! You totally made me miss my cue!" She glares, "How long does it take to sew a winning pageant dress from scratch?!"
"Done!" Mina smiles and gives her two thumbs-up. Although her fingers were covered in bandages.
"Knock 'em dead Trina!"
Trina rams Mina to backstage, "That's the plan!"
"Aren't they larvelous?" Mayor Mellow grins as Trina walks over, fake smiling and laughing.
"Let me remind you what "cute" is." She said.
(https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9354951168/hD6E3FC0D/funny-meme-about-how-taylor-swift-is-actually-napoleon-dynamite-in-drag)
_____________________________________
"Wuh-oh..." Corey murmurs.
"The only way to get diary-filled lyrics is if Trina wins."
Corey informs, "And the only way to make Trina look sweet is to make those sweet girls look sour."
"But they're like little human sugar packets from a sequin coffee shop!" Laney rolls her eyes.
"I'd drink them," (Y/N) raises his hand and Laney vaguely gestures.
"That's the spirit!"
"Hands in for our unity chant!"
All five hold their hands out.
"Operation: Turn sweet to sour and sour to sweet so Tracy will win and write happy sappy lyrics and-"
"Maybe just Operation: Queen Bee?"
.
.
.
"QUEEN BEE!"
"Turn sweet to sour and sour to-"
Everyone looks at Kon
"DUh...Queen Bee?"
_____________________________________
WHOOZA WHAZZA WHAT NOW?
(https://stayhipp.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/perez-hilton.jpg)
_____________________________________
Grojband hides behind stage, so they can sabotage.
"So, HIIII!!!11!!1111!! and everything!"
Trina smiles, "Isn't it fab that we're competing against each other? I'm all super authentically curious to know what your special talents are and junk!"
"I conduct a choir of bees using this special-"
"Yeah, that's great or whatever," Trina glowers, "You wanna know what my special talent is?"
The three girls shake with fear.
"CRUSHING DREAMS!" Trina shouts and the girls run away, screaming in terror.
_____________________________________
"Wow, Core, Your sister scared away the competition. She's like the storm cloud at the end of the rainbow."
"With a silver lining, Lanes!" Corey holds his hands on his side, "No competition means Trina will win for sure! We're minutes away from diary time!"
Not if Mayor Mellow has something to say.
"Pack up and head home, kids! Pageant's cancelled!"
The band looks up at the mayor.
"Mother says we can't have a competition with just one girl! No sport."
"I think you can," Corey avoids looking behind him.
The rest of Grojband stares down (Y/N).
"No. NO."
"We'll give you money."
(Y/N) purses his lips.
_____________________________________
The Emo's Gonna Wear a Dress
_____________________________________
"This sucks," (Y/N) grumbles and grips his $20. He glances Kon curling his extensions and Corey tries to put more in.
"I'm not a hair guy, (N/N). I'm the one with a beanie."
"Oh, I know that. I just don't trust Kin around my hair."
Kin taps his foot with his photos app open, "Your hair's scruffy anyway."
"And why can't Laney do it?"
"She's getting something from Barney's Drug Store."
Mayor Mellow flies down to observe the band, "Looks like we'll have a bee-yootiful morning after all!" As fast as he flew in, he flies out just as fast.
Corey and Kon pull away from (Y/N) and admire how easily (Y/N) can be made into a girl.
Kin wheezes and holds his phone at (Y/N), "HAHhHAH-"
"You're blackmailing him?"
"Blackmail is such a dark word. I'd use. . .extortion!"
"Hey, I got your toilet paper."
Laney strolls in with a plastic bag in hand.
(https://youtu.be/nlAQRTyStpY?t=165)
"What do you need toilet paper for?" Kon asks.
The band sits in silence before Kin cackles again, "ahHhAHhHA-You aren't actually gonna stuff youhoHOHAHhahHA-!"
(Y/N) stands from the dresser.
"Don't think I can't snap ya neck with these gloves on, Geekcules!"
"Are you serious?! I can't take you seriously without those bags under your eyes!"
(Y/N) backhands Kin's cheek.
"Discord moderator!"
Kin whips his head back.
"Don't you have to be catching an episode of Invader Zim?"
Corey steps between them, "Hey, HEY! We agreed you two wouldn't fight on Wednesday!"
Kon glances at his phone, "Actually it's Thurs. . .Oh. Yeah, it's Wednesday!"
Corey pulls (Y/N) from Kin.
"Just remember. To make Trina look good, you gotta take a dive."
(Y/N) breathes out and nods.
(Grojband, during the entire pageant:
____________________________________
Trina slumps in her seat while Mina blends her foundation.
"There's like no way some transvestite from Corey's band is going to be sweeter than me."
She grabs a water bottle and sloshes it in her mouth. She then spits the backwash to the side.
"Uh the spit-bucket thing is on the other side. That was my purse."
"Now, you know where to put the bucket."
_____________________________________
Mayor Mellow's wings shutter, "It's time for our first competition!"
"Honey is to bees as cow is to cheese, so get that nectar please!"
"C'mon ladies. Milk them bees."
Trina glares with a wide smile, "You're going down."
(Y/N) slides an earbud in his ear, "Sure, hope so."
Trina tries to pinch the bee into her hands, but the bee tries to sting her.
(Y/N) stares at the bee before holding out his finger, "Bees lactate?" His bee glides to his finger.
Kon gives a confused, "Uhhh" until Kin holds Kon's phone to himself.
"No. Actually they vomit pollen."
"Gross," (Y/N) covers his eyes from the bee.
Trina manages to trap the bee in her fists, but it slashes her hand.
"This lack of lactation or whatever is so not acceptable."
"I want bee milk-NOW!!!"
"And. . .Time's up!" The mayor pockets his timer, "Let's see how we did."
He flies over to Trina, "Look what we have here! Your cup nearly running over," He grabs the glass and drinks the nectar. His face puckers and he spits the rest out.
"That right there is some nasty nectar. Something or someone musta made that bee bitter."
The rest of Grojband glance to each other.
Mayor Mellow grabs (Y/N)'s glass, "Kinda light," He gulps the whole thing down, "But the taste is heavy."
"We'll take quantity over quantity. First round goes to this sweet little lady."
(Y/N) silently worries.
_____________________________________
"Bees get busy. Now it's time to get dizzy. Ridin' mechanical bees, yes please."
The two 'girls' swing back and forth.
"Okay, twist the red wire," Kin scrolls through his phone for instructions.
"Yeah."
"Break off a dark green one and unscrew any of the screws."
(Y/N) cautiously puts the screwdriver in a screw.
Her bee started to go barely any faster.
"Are you sure that's the rightJEEZ-A-LOO!"
(Y/N) bee started slamming back and forth, ruining the floor.
"Let go, Ratchet!"
"That's the hard part, Redditer!"
(The audience and Mayor Mellow:
)
His hands let go and he lands on his back. The bee on the other hand, hops off the stage.
The band winces at (Y/N)'s twitching body.
"Gnarly."
Trina also hops off her bee.
"YEAH🌟Cause I nailed, you failed it! I won it excetra-"
(Y/N) gave a shaky thumbs up.
That is until Mayor Mellow blew a whistle and threw down a yellow handkerchief.
"PENALTY! Watching a queen gloat won't float my boat. Points awarded to the girl who fell off right away!"
"For niceness," Flames. On the side of Trina's head.
(Y/N) thumb up fell.
((Y/N), at Mayor Mellow:)
_____________________________________
"Just one more event, dude." Corey massages (Y/N)'s shoulders, "Just throw this one and Trina will bliss out and we can ROCK this joint!"
Kin grips (Y/N)'s shoulder, "C'mon, Emo Teen Dream! Don't let your fake bazoingas sag."
"Kin, STOP! This show's PG!"
"PG?! IN THE SECOND EPISODE, (Y/N) WAS SINGING MACKLEMORE!"
_____________________________________
"A queen bee can find the sweetness anywhere. Whack the candy bees out of these beehive piñatas."
"You're so not like pageant material."
"That's a lie."
"WHY-Don't-you-JUST-quit and-go back to THINKING THAT COLOR LOOKS GOOD ON YOU?!"
"I'm trying to quit, but you're-haH-making it hard for me-To-TO LOSE!"
"DON'T YOU-have to-go like-PRACTICE one of-COREY'S UNLISTENATUABLE SONG!?"
"Or has FROMAGEBAND-stopped squeezing ducks-MICROPHONES?!"
(Y/N) lowers his stick, "You're kidding?!"
(https://youtu.be/8X-ixRXnRMU)
"What part of 'You're band sticks' didn't I say?"
(Y/N) takes in a shaky breath.
"Am I really being insulted by a sad, hopeless teen who tries so hard to be cool? A hormonal teenage girl with barely any friends? Someone who has to rely on a lackey?"
"You are moody. You are awful and that is NEVER GONNA CHANGE!"
(Y/N) slashes the piñata into tattered and split pieces on the stage.
The audience gasps and Kin makes a really weird face.
(Y/N) tears off the mask, ". . .I was only standing up for myself. And especially for the band."
Trina grasps the stick.
"I will not lose this thing-I ONLY HEARD ABOUT YESTERDAY!"
Trina yanks off the mask to find that she destroyed everything but the piñata.
Mayor Mellow listens to the crackles of the flames.
"Little lady, a Queen Bee you will not be."
The mayor grabs (Y/N)'s hand, "I present you the Queen Bee! The one who didn't bruise my ribs."
The audience cheer and squeal for her victory.
(Y/N) jumps off the stage and the crowd makes way for him like the red sea.
Grojband and (Y/N) stare at each other in silence.
"I. . .I'm sorry."
"No, man. You stood up for the band," Corey pulls the rest of the members in for a hug, "It's okay."
"Unapologetically you."
"AGH!" Trina throws down her stick and yanks down the piñata, "I. . .Should. . .Be. . .Queen!"
She kicks a real beehive. The bees swarm around Trina as she tries to swat them away.
"Stop trying to stab me or whatever!" Mina pushes her friend away.
"Here. Let them sting me!"
_____________________________________
Corey thinks before pulling his band aside, "Guys, Trina's almost in a diary meltdown. We can't make her happy, but we can make her something!"
"MORE BEES!"
The entire band climb nearby trees and jangle the hives at the stage.
Mina runs from the flying bees while Trina tries to swat them with a post.
"Not now, Mother! We can argue about whose mistake it was to use real beehives later!"
The audience scampers away from the stage and from Trina.
"Like stop for serious."
"Obey me!"
"I AM YOUR QUEEN!"
Trina shoots into the air with bees trailing around her.
Beehives blast lava from the bottom.
Trina holds her pen out to char as the bees glide her down to the stage.
Corey smiles and holds out his hand for his sister's diary.
Mayor Mellow flies down, "I'd like to announce a last minute change in the rules!
"A girl who commands the bees brings us all to our knees!" He lowers himself in a bowing position.
"All hail Queen Trina Riffin!"
"You're up, boys," Mayor Mellow gestures to Grojband.
Laney holds her violin to her chin.
_____________________________________
Corey: Look and see.
It's the beautiful queen bee.
We've known it all along.
We can feel it in our bones.
With the wave of her hand
she commands all her drones.
Look and see.
It's the stunning queen bee.
We can see it in her eyes.
She's the queen for goodness sake.
She looks as sweet as honey
but underneath it's creepy fake.
Look and see.
It's the beautiful queen bee.
She's the one,
the only queen bee.
_____________________________________
"The office of Queen Bee carries with it very important duties!" The mayor announces.
"Hehah. Duties."
"No thanks. Sounds kinda lame."
"I do the winning," Trina hands her scepter to Mina, "My drone will do the laming."
The bees form a crown over Mina, "I've always dreamed of the moment."
_____________________________________
Buzzy Buzz Transition
_____________________________________
"Sorry you didn't win, (N/N)," Kon unclips (Y/N)'s extensions.
"Nah. It's fine. I won enough pageants."
"You boys put on quite a show," He pats (Y/N)'s head, "I got a whole list of peachy festivals we need a band for!"
"Sorry, Mayor Mellow, but this just isn't out thing."
Spotlight.
"We're not about a crown. When you lift someone up, they can only let you down. Grojband is about the people. Not about a queen who flies above who we're forced to love. We'd rather vote."
Mayor Mellow shutters and flies away, "You're right, Mother. He is a few bees short of a hive."
"Says the man who talks to a picture frame," (Y/N) mumbles to Kon.
Kon pulls (Y/N) in, "On God!"
"CORE! We could have used that an hour ago! I wouldn't've had to put on a dress!"
"Well, you'll never have to put one on again, fella!"
Laney's dreams crack in half. R.I.P, bro.
"Thanks for coming out everyone!"