Marco
That seemed like the best night of my life. Her opening up to me, the way she kissed me and my admitting the way I felt about her were only the highlights. It played constantly in my head and made me smile like an idiot, which didn't go unnoticed.
Walking her home and saying goodnight was the hardest part. I wanted her for the whole night, just sit next to her and listen to her talk was enough for now. It would be a lie if I said that other, not so pure thoughts, hadn't crossed my mind but I was quite certain we weren't there yet. Determined that I would take my time, respecting her wishes and boundaries made me strangely happy. I could make this work. Now that she gave me the green light, I would do anything not to disappoint her.
It might seem strange to everyone that knew me well, but this was the first time I actually had to try to get something I wanted. I was more than okay with that and as a matter of fact it gave me a sense of purpose. Trying to win Rose's heart meant I could escape reality; forget about money, disputes and everything that burdened my days.
In the days that followed, I was the one that initiated contact with her almost daily. Whether it was just a text to ask about her day or a call at night, just to hear her voice. The day she texted me first, I had a stupid grin on my face for hours. It was a simple 'Good morning. I hope you have a great day today', but to me it meant the world. She was starting to warm up to me and I felt a little pushy and clingy for texting or calling her every single day, but she didn't seem to mind.
The time she was away in the conference was the worst. I didn't have any contacts in Minnesota and I didn't want to send anyone after her for fear of her becoming alert. She was always busy and tired and I patiently waited for her to return. Being in New York again would make it a lot easier for me to work my magic, or so I thought.
It was finally Sunday and her flight was due to arrive at six. Jay was the only one I talked to about what happened in Boston. I can't say he took it that well, but he knew better than to argue with me.
He seemed more concerned about Rose finding out about his "other life" and losing her as a friend. Well we had that in common.
My genius plan consisted of trying to leave Rose out of anything questionable or dangerous for as long as I could. She would have to learn the truth eventually, but I intended to delay that until I made sure she would accept my other side as well.
How can you know when it's the right time to tell someone that you are not exactly who they think you are? Will she be able to forgive me for the lies and the secrets I'll have to keep? Will I have done enough to make her feel that I deserve her forgiveness? Those and some other more morbid thoughts were my usual company for the ten days I hadn't seen her.
I asked her if she wanted to try to video call one night, but she kindly declined with the excuse of messy hair. As if I cared about her hair being styled or messy. I just wanted to see her pretty face, her sparkling eyes and that warm smile that brightened my whole existence.
I never knew my thoughts could be so consumed by another person. Never expected to grow such strong feelings for a woman. There is always a first time for anything and even if we are not technically together yet, I wish this were the only time I experienced such feelings for a woman. That Rose would be mine forever and I would be hers only.
Here I was, half an hour early, waiting for her flight to arrive. She told me she would ask Jay to pick her up, but I made sure he wasn't available. Sorry not sorry. She insisted that taking a cab was the perfect alternative. I let her believe that she had won and went to the airport to surprise her.
While waiting for her, stupid images of her spotting me, dropping her bag to the ground and running to my arms had invaded my mind. I was no fool. I knew nothing like that would ever happen. Rose was so reserved, she even blushed whenever I held her hand or kissed her in public. How I loved that innocent part of her.
Hearing the announcement from the speakers and checking my watch, I walked towards the gate her flight was supposed to arrive at. People soon started exiting and I was getting more anxious. What was wrong with me? A woman suddenly threw her suitcase to the floor and ran towards a man with flowers in hand. He picked her up and swirled her in the air. Fuck. Was I supposed to bring flowers too? Is this why women run for you when you are waiting to pick them up from somewhere? Will she be disappointed that I came empty handed? Will she be mad that I came anyway when I told her that we would meet tomorrow?
More people were approaching but Rose was nowhere at sight. Had something happened to her? Did she miss her flight? We hadn't talked since last night and now I felt stupid for not checking up on her before she got on the plane. I did everything wrong and we hadn't even started yet. I guess this was harder than I thought it would.
My negative thoughts evaporated like smoke in the air when I finally saw her. Dressed in a pair of jeans and a white top, her coat in hand. She wore her hair down and she was smiling. How had I missed that smile.
My own smile grew wider as I thought the cause of it was the fact that she had already spotted me. I couldn't have been more wrong. Another man stopped beside her, hugged her and kissed her cheek. She didn't move away, she didn't flinch. She put her free arm around him, her lips still in a full smile.
At that moment I felt like my world was shattered. Could I have been so wrong about her? Was innocent, sweet Rose just a façade? What reason would she have to play me like that? I felt like an idiot and as much as I wanted answers I was not ready to hear them without hurting the guy in the process.
Taking one last look at their never ending embrace, I staffed my hands in my pockets and turned to leave. Strangely enough, I felt betrayed, defeated and absolutely heartbroken. Trying to create as much distance as I could, I picked up my pace, bumping into one or two passerby's in my way.
Seeing the exit, I felt like I could breathe freely again. When the automatic door slid open and the bustle from the street was starting to become evident, I heard her calling my name.
"Marco. Wait. Please. Didn't you hear me? Why didn't you stop?" I finally halted and saw her trying to catch her breath. Her coat thrown over the suitcase, her hair messed from the running. Her cheeks were flushed but I denied thinking from what exactly.
"Couldn't you hear me? God I should really give up smoking. What are you doing here?" she asked and I tried to calm myself before answering.
"I wanted to surprise you Rose. I guess you beat me to that. I wanted to see you because I missed you but I guess it was a bad idea. Welcome home Rose. I'll see you around. Don't keep your company waiting." Her face turned even redder and her usual bright eyes seemed darker now. Was she actually angry?
"I missed you too and I'm happy that you decided to surprise me." She just said before sitting on her suitcase. I focused my eyes on hers waiting for her to elaborate. Wasn't she going to tell me about that man? Did she think that she could make a fool out of me?
The silence was killing me but I didn't want to speak first. She was at fault here and if she didn't have anything else to say maybe it was better if I just left.
"I believe you are referring to the man who was saying goodbye to me earlier, right? Well if you had just waited, I could have introduced you, you know. That was Sam, a friend of mine from college. I bumped into him in Minnesota. He was on a business trip and we happened to stay at the same hotel. He lives in New York too now with his boyfriend and he wants to catch up sometime."
A big oh was formed on my lips and I saw her tilting her head on the side, repeating oh and smiling. That was a relief. She wasn't mad after all and I was the biggest jerk. How did I jump to conclusions so easily? I would have left without giving her the chance to explain and fuck up big time, because of a simple misunderstanding. I had to think of a way to save the day and I had to do it quickly.
Walking towards her, I offered my hand and helped her stand up. Looking her straight in the eyes I apologized and hugged her tightly. She didn't resist as I thought she would. Instead she wrapped her small, warm arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder.
Maybe I could turn this around after all. We stayed like that for a while and a strange feeling of intimacy crept inside me. Is this how I would feel every time I'll touch her from now on? I could get used to it but I couldn't shake the previous feeling of jealousy and disappointment I felt on seeing her with another man. I would definitely not want a repeat of that.
Breaking apart when the sidewalk became more crowded, I led her towards my car. Placing her suitcase in the trunk, I held the passenger door open and helped her in.
"Another car." She commented while I was fastening my own seatbelt. I just smiled and started the car. I should have been feeling better by now, but I was still anxious and worried that maybe she had changed her mind. That this would be over before it even started.
"Is something wrong? I'm not used to you being so quiet. Is it about Sam? I am telling you the truth. I would never lie to you. I thought I had made myself clear." Turning the radio on, she turned her face towards the window. The city lights and the first buildings were starting to show and I hated that I would have to part with her again. And especially like this.
I pulled the car over when I had the first chance. I needed to sort this. Killing the engine, I turned to look at her. She didn't speak. Just stared at me with hurt in her eyes.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I should never have judged what I saw so easily. I believe it when you tell me that you will never lie to me. I trust you Rose and I want to you to do the same." Running my hand through my hair, I waited for her reaction almost holding my breath.
"This is all new to me, you know. Being with Jack was not at all normal as I so late discovered. But with you I need to do it right. I want to be comfortable with you, to be able to talk to you freely without holding back. I don't want you to feel embarrassed to introduce me to your friends. I want to be myself around you and if you are not okay with that, you should tell me now. I've made some very important decisions about my life and I'd like to consider that you will be part of them too. If not, I'll go on without you Marco. I need this change. I need to make up for all the years I lost."
Not wanting to interrupt her, I just let her finish but I couldn't believe the things that came out of her pretty mouth. How can she ever think I would be embarrassed to introduce her to anyone? Jack had ruined her self esteem. I hated that she spent all those years with a man that made her question her worth.
"I will be happy to be a part of your new life Rose." Was all I managed to say before she leaned towards me, placed her hand on my cheek and pulled me in an urgent kiss. I was caught off guard, but if all her new decisions were like that, it was more than fine by me. Breaking the kiss earlier for my liking, she cleared her throat and played with her hair nervously.
"Sorry about that, but I wanted to kiss you since the airport. See what I mean now? New Rose won't have a problem saying what she really wants and you Marco is what I really want right now."
Smiling, I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it thinking that if I was so drawn to old Rose, I couldn't even imagine what new Rose would do to me.