>1 month after pregnancy<
Bianca Maria Di Angelo - Solace
Michael Lee Di Angelo - Solace
Dylan Mateo Di Angelo - Solace
Will's POV:
"Neeks, you need to sleep. I'll get him. It's my turn anyway." I said pushing Nico back onto the bed gently
"S'not okay. I'll get him." Nico said
"It is okay. They are on a feeding schedule and I'm making sure that you are sleeping. They're going to need to be fed soon anyway." I said
"I can feed them now. You can sleep again." Nico said tiredly yawning halfway through his sentence "You can care for them at seven for the next feeding."
"It's not just your job. They're not just your babies. I know you want me to sleep, but you need sleep too. You do everything for them. I never get up. You rarely sleep. When was the last time you got a full night's sleep?" I asked
Nico got up going into the nursery. He didn't answer me and avoided my eyes. I padded in after him. He turned on the dim light. We had gotten special lightbulbs for them. Nico picked Michael up cradling him. It would make such a beautiful picture.
"Hmm?" I asked
"I don't know. It's been a little while." Nico admitted rocking Michael slowly
"Just rest and let me take tonight. You have work tomorrow and I don't. Get some sleep. You deserve it." I said
I set Michael down and pulled Nico out of the room. I took him back into our room and carefully pushed him onto the bed. I pulled the covers over Nico and kissed his lips. He smiled at me and I left him in the room to go deal with Michael.
I softly padded into the room going over to him. Michael was crying and moving around in his crib. I picked him up. I softly sang 'You are my Sunshine' while making sure he knew I was singing to him. It was a way to bond.
Michael looked up at me his eyes slowly closing as he got more and more tired. I'm glad he didn't need to be fed. I would have to wake Nico up again, because the babies wouldn't take a bottle from me. He really needs his sleep.
"He asleep?" Nico asked when I came back into the room
"Yeah. He was really tired. He was probably just afraid of being alone." I said
Nico wasn't smiling and his eyes showed nothing. Walls were put up. He was taking deeper breaths than usual. An oncoming panic attack maybe. No, his face was blotchy. He had been crying.
"Is something wrong?" I asked "Neeks, why are you crying?"
"N-nothings wrong." Nico said "I'm okay."
"Talk to me. It's always easier when you can talk to someone." I said
Nico was on his side. I wrapped my arms around his thin waist. I need him to be big again. Not very big. Like a few pounds so he looks healthy.
"It's complicated." Nico said
"I'm good with complicated." I said
"I feel guilty. I wanted to give them up. I even thought about taking Bianca out because she was sick. I'm a terrible parent." Nico said curling up and unwrapping my arms from around him
"No you aren't. You're a parent." I said "All parents make mistakes and have regrets or guilt. If a parent never feels these emotions they don't know parenting. It's a roller coaster of emotions."
"Like this." Nico said
"Yeah. It's postpartum depression. I can help. Everyday you tell me five positive things about yourself. Tell me all about your day. Even if I'm asleep when you get home." I said
"Maybe not very much when I'm gone. I can't answer the phone in the operating room or with a patient. For privacy. Send me a text or leave a voicemail. I'll always answer." I said "Even if it's to tell me that you miss me or you're going out with them. They probably get bored and fussy."
Nico nodded and we sat in silence for a few minutes. I had him in my embrace. I was spooning him as he nuzzled me.
"They miss you when you're gone." Nico said breaking the silence
"They do?" I asked surprised
I knew Nico missed me, but the babies? They were still so small. They don't really understand the concept of time. They didn't know how long I am gone. Just that I am gone.
"Yeah. Every time you leave me alone they are okay for a bit. When they start to realize you aren't home they cry. I know that cry. I cried many times when you left." Nico said "They want you. They know you exist even though you aren't in the room, but they don't know how long you'll be gone. They get scared and cry thinking you aren't coming back."
"It's cute. I'll always come back until I can't anymore. I would move everything in my way if it meant I could see all of you again." I said
I meant every word. I would move everything. Every mountain, ocean, god, goddess, brick wall, century, and decade if it meant I would be able to see them one last time. One last time to hold them in my arms and to kiss all of them on the lips. Just being happy together.
I know that if I don't return to them one day for some reason that I will have tried everything to be able to. I wouldn't ever stop giving up if I knew that they were waiting.
>Next Day<
"Okay just don't do anything big. I can stay home with them I think." Nico rushed
"Neeks! Just go to work and don't worry. I know the drill. We came up with it together. Just keep calm. I've got this. I'll do everything I need to do." I said
I was holding Bianca and Nico softly caressed her face. She moved towards him and he took her from me. He kissed her and she smiled in her sleep. It was cute.
"I have to go to work my angel. I'll be home after work and I'll hold you again while I'm complaining to daddy about some of the people that work for me." Nico said
Bianca woke up and looked up at Nico. He was the only one who could get them to sort of smile. It wasn't exactly a smile, but it was close enough. She moved in his arms and he nuzzled her little face.
He put her in my arms and she didn't seem to like that. She moved around. Nico seemed to remember something and he walked up the stairs. He came back down.
"I forgot my keys. I would have left without them. It would have been terrible to ask the janitor to let me into my office again." Nico said "I asked him so much when I was pregnant."
Bianca turned towards him a little. She must have recognized him when he walked or talked. I changed her position so she could see Nico more. Nico checked his phone and he kissed me.
Bianca moved towards her momma, but Nico was already leaving. Bianca started to cry when she realized Nico was moving away.
"It's okay. I know. I'm sad I have to leave too. It's okay. You don't need too cry though." Nico cooed kissing her
She stopped crying and Nico sighed. He kissed me one last time. I heard the door close. It was just us now.
Almost feeding time too. This was going to be a challenge. Bianca started to cry when she realized that Nico was gone again.
"Mommy will be back soon." I said "It's okay. No crying."
I shushed her, but she cried more. She missed her momma. I don't know why. She was almost always fine with me. They all were fine until now. Then again, Nico was always in the house.
He's working, but he always took the time to make sure they were getting food. He did meetings online and took time to help me with anything. Especially feeding time.
I could do diaper duty no problem. Not feeding time. They liked to bed fed individually by Nico and only Nico. Even when Annabeth came over they wouldn't open their mouths. They were only three weeks then. Still young.
The boppy pillows worked after Nico got them started. He would hold them and put the nipple in their mouthes. They would suck it and he would set them down in the baby swing and put the boppy pillow around them.
He would do that for all three of them and watch waiting to burp them. It was a process and he had mastered it with no practice. The first time had been a learning experience and Mom helped us.
Nico had caught on quickly and even knew what to do before Mom said anything. I was confused and messed up on the baby doll we were using.
In all honesty the baby doll is dead because of me. Eyeless and dead. I still have trouble with feeding time.
Nico was still pregnant and he had a moment where he almost dropped the fake baby due to the kicking in his stomach.
He had thrust the baby into my hands and I held "her" for a few minutes as Nico rubbed his stomach. I accidentally dropped her and she lost an eye, but overall she was fine.
They won't take the bottle and get cranky when they aren't fed. They cry and it's frustrating. I can't calm them down, because they want food and I want to cry too.
I hate that Nico can do it so well. Maybe I'm not fit to be a parent and I'm not perfect, but no parent is. It is hard to be a parent. I held Bianca going over to check on Michael and Dylan.
Dylan was awake blinking his eyes. I picked him up being careful and bringing him over to the couch. The house was still really clean. No matter how tired Nico was he would clean the house and wash the bottles.
I would wash bottles and do diaper duty, but I still work crazy hours at the hospital and leave Nico at home with them a lot. I worked on my hours. Next week, I'm cutting my hours and letting another chief get more hours.
Nico wouldn't be home for quite a little while. It was almost time for Dylan's feeding. He ate first last time, so first this time. I kissed his forehead and he slowly blinked. He usually cried a lot when he was tired and I would calm him by softly humming.
"Okay. It's time. I'm going to go feed all of you." I said
I put them down and went upstairs grabbing the boppy pillows from yesterday. Nico had fed them upstairs. I took her upstairs and got the boppy pillows.
I took a little bottle and gave it to Bianca. She wouldn't open her little mouth and I groaned. I tried the boys and neither one of them opened their mouthes. I racked my brain.
How did Nico get them to open up their mouthes? I finally got them to eat after an hour of fails. It's okay. Better late than never.
My paternity leave had ended after three weeks and Nico's still hasn't ended. He went into work to deal with some new hires.
I bathed them getting into the shower with them. I made sure they were clean everywhere. They really loved baths. They didn't like the cold air, but they loved the warm water.
Nico would usually come in as pale as ever sleep deprived and help me bathe them. It was our bonding time as a family.
Nico would help me wash them receiving little noises. They weren't loud. I got out the little bath and put it in our shower.
I held them while he filled it up with water. They would cry and we would hold them putting a special blanket over them. It kept them warm until we put them in the water. They would move a little in the water and then settle feeling the warm water.
They could now be put underwater. Before we had to make sure they didn't get water in their belly button, because they hadn't lost the umbilical cord. He would let me wash myself and sometimes even do my hair on some nights.
Nico's laugh would fill the house and my heart melted. I loved hearing that laugh. He looked beautiful as a parent. He radiated a sense of peace and I would relax being on him. I was happy. Just happy. No other words to describe what I felt.
We would bathe them one at a time and Nico would have the monitor checking every three seconds. Any little noise or rustle and he would look at the babies. He would also help me dry them off and put a new diaper on.
Nico came home and didn't even say hi. He went upstairs and took a shower. When he came back down he kissed me. Then he went over to our sleeping angels.
He bent down and picked up Dylan. Dylan didn't move, but Nico sat down cuddling our youngest. He picked up Bianca and then Michael. Michael moved and woke up.
He held him keeping him quiet. He got a little book and I curled up. He read Michael a little book and he had fallen asleep to the sound of Nico's voice. He was tired anyway. Babies slept a lot and Michael was no exception.
Nico went upstairs for a few minutes grabbing our blanket so we could cuddle together. Bianca had woken up, but she wasn't crying so I left her in the top section of the pack and play.
We had gotten a fancier one where they could be put up higher so we didn't have to bed down. Bianca turned towards Nico.
"She recognizes the sound of your footsteps." I said
"She's smart. I love them so much." Nico said
"I love them too and you." I said
"Can you make dinner tonight?" Nico asked
"I guess. Why can't you?" I asked
"I'm tired. Was hoping maybe you could do it." Nico said curling into my chest laying Bianca down on him "You don't have to though. I can do it."
"I'll do it. Don't worry. I know you're tired." I said
"Neeks, I need to tell you something that you probably won't like." I said
"Okay. What's wrong?" Nico asked sitting up and changing Bianca's position in his arms
"I've got a business trip coming up. I'll be gone for a few days. You'd be home alone." I said
"What?" Nico asked
I could see his mind went a million miles a minute. Something about him changed and he no longer looked happy.
He didn't feel calm he felt anxious and I knew the babies could feel it too. Bianca had been watching Nico and she saw his face pale and the stressed and anxious look on his face.
Her little lips trembled and and she started to cry. Michael had woken up, because I heard him whimper and start to cry.
I picked him up making sure Dylan was still asleep. He looked uncomfortable in his sleep. I knew babies would react to their mothers, but I didn't usually see it happen.
Nico looked down and his expression melted. He kissed her comforting her and whispering sweet little nothing's into her ear. He hummed a little getting up and rocking her slightly.
I held Michael and I was able to get him to calm down. It was easy now that Nico had calmed. They smelled him recognizing the scent of their momma. They had stopped crying and we rocked them back and forth helping them fall asleep.
"I won't go on the business trip. I emailed admin. They agreed that being with our babies and helping you was important." I said "I wanted you to know in case you get a call. For verification."
"It's getting late. I'll feed them and you can start dinner?" Nico asked
"Yep. I already started before. I thought maybe we could have sandwiches made by the deli. They should be here soon. I ordered them from the grocery store." I said
"You're the best." Nico said and he kissed me
I helped him get set up for feeding time and the babies moved. Nico had to wake Dylan up and he wasn't very happy. When Nico set him in the baby swing he cried and wailed.
Nico picked him up feeling him and making sure nothing was in the swing. We found nothing and he tried putting him down again. It didn't work and he cried louder.
The doorbell rang and Nico went to get it. He came back with a bag and Dylan balanced in the other. I had already gotten Michael and Bianca set up and they were drinking their bottles.
They didn't fight when I gave them the bottle. I relaxed and it really helped. They must have felt my frustration.
"He's not going to let me set him down. I'll eat later." Nico said
He had once again given up his dinner time for the babies. It wasn't okay. As much as they need attention he needs to be careful. He could get really sick if he didn't eat.
"I'll do it. You go ahead and eat. I can get him to be in the baby swing." I said
I left no room for argument and I took Dylan from Nico. I let him watch Nico and he calmed down enough for me to put him into the baby swing. I burped Michael and Bianca and gave Dylan his bottle.
Nico brought the sandwiches over and we ate in front of the babies. Nico complained about 'dumb people who can't even work a printer right' and some of the people he was looking at hiring.
I told him about my day leaving out the part where I couldn't get them to eat. Some things are better left not said. We put them down in the nursery and turned on the monitor.
We sat on the couch cuddling with our special blanket. Nico leaned up pulling my face towards his. He kissed me on the lips sending little fireworks off in my chest.
Nico kissed me again. Bianca, Michael, Dylan, and Nico are my world. My everything and I would give them whatever they wanted if it would make them smile just one last time.
I would rather be with them than anywhere else. They are my loves and the light at the end of the tunnel.
Bonus 6 Months:
Dylan Mateo Di Angelo - Solace
Bianca Maria Di Angelo - Solace
Michael Lee Di Angelo - Solace
Nico's POV:
"Neeks, come look at this! He's so cute." Will said
"Hello baby boy. What are you eating?" I asked him
He squealed and Will gave him a kiss on his forehead. Will had some baby food on his face from his hands. I gave him a kiss on his lips.
"He's having some carrots and broccoli." Will said
"That sounds good." I said
"Who would have thought that the ghost king and a Di Angelo would want baby food." Will teased
"Maybe a craving?" Will asked
"That's funny, because I remember you wanted soup last night. Not anything else. I had to find some and make it." I said
"Touché." Will said
"What did you make for breakfast? It's your day to make breakfast." I asked
"Bring it over here. It's a waffle with strawberries." Will said
I brought a chair and my food over. Michael smiled and laughed when I gave him a kiss. Will pouted and I gave him a kiss too.
"How do you get him to laugh?" Will asked
"It's a gift. You can too. You just have to find a way. He's not very ticklish yet." I said
"Do you need anymore?" Will asked after I had finished eating
"No, I'm good." I said
"Well we didn't think it would happen a second time, but it did." Will said
"Can we not talk about it!" I argued
"Fine. We can talk about after you go get Dylan. I believe he just woke up." Will said
I huffed and got up getting Dylan from his crib. I kissed him and brought him downstairs. He had stopped crying and he was drooling and making sounds.
"He's happier." Will said "He's a momma's boy."
"Don't call me that." I said
"So why don't you want to talk about it. It doesn't happen all the time." Will said
"I don't want to talk about how I topped when we had sex in front of our babies." I argued
"They won't remember anyways. We will be fine." Will said
Will stuck out his tongue and I huffed getting some baby food. I started to feed Dylan and he was happy getting fed by me. We had to drop them off at the babysitters so we could go to work.
"We don't have to talk about it, but you're so sweet. So handsome and that deserves something." Will said
"Okay. No more in front of them. I don't want them to hear that. So help me if their first word is a sexual reference I will kill you." I vowed
"I think Dylan's close to saying his first word. I've been teaching him to say mama so it sticks and he calls you that." Will said
"I don't want him to call me that. Please anything but that." I said
"It's fine. It'll be so cute when he calls you momma." Will said
"I want him to say Dada." I said
"So they all know to call you dada and daddy. I know they can say it. He listens to a lot of things." I said
"I kind of want his first word to be taco or something random. So when we explain it we will sound funny." Will said
"You're a dork." I said
I had kept the spoon from Dylan's mouth and he was leaning forward trying to get it. He opened his mouth and I put the spoon in.
"I kind of want his first word to be bird. We see them everywhere." I said
Will was whispering something in Michael's ear. He was repeating a word. Probably taco.
"Ma - ma." Dylan said
We both froze and looked down at him. He was reaching for the spoon I had and he kept saying mama over and over.
"Told you." Will said
"Please say something else. Like dada." I cooed
"Mama." Dylan said
"Look. You're mama." Will said
"Be quiet." I said
"I think he wants food. Better feed him." Will said
I focused on feeding Dylan and he babbled and made little noises. I cooed at him telling him that I loved him. He made noises and I kissed him. Michael had just finished and Will cleaned him up.
"I'm going to get both of us changed and take a bath with him. Do you want to join?" Will asked
"Sure." I said
We had remodeled our bathroom so the bathtub was bigger and had jets. I went into the nursery and Bianca was up. She was cuddling a stuffed animal.
"Hey baby girl." I said
I picked her up and balanced one baby on each side of me. I brought her downstairs and I fed her. It never took long to feed her. She ate less than both of her brothers and she ate faster than both of them.
Will had slipped off his clothes and kissed me. I took off their clothes and we got into the bath. I was holding Dylan and Bianca a over the water and they squirmed. Bianca grabbed for the cup. She chewed on the rubber part of it.
I kissed Dylan as Will washed Michael. When he finished I gave Bianca and Dylan to Will. I took Michael out of the water and he cried not liking the cold. I kissed him and gave him a warm towel. We had warmed them in the dryer.
I kissed him again and then got him in some clothes. I brought him to the crib and put him down for another mini nap. I took the monitor and brought it into the bathroom. Will gave me Dylan and I did the same for both of them as I did with Michael.
"They are down for a little nap." I said sinking into the warm water
Will pulled me on top of him as he stroked my body. He did this every time. I kissed him and made him laugh. I smiled at him and kissed him.
"Let's go. We have a long day ahead of us." Will said