“GOD DAMN IT!” Mikey cursed loudly when he felt the familiar nausea feeling that has been a nuisance to him for at least two weeks. He quickly got up from where he sat and ran to the bathroom. Luckily, he got in there in time to vomit into the toilet bowl. Two weeks ago, when this all began, he was not so lucky. He had to clean up his own vomit which just grossed him out more that day.
It has been utter hell for him. He knows he should go see a doctor. He liked to tell himself that he was fine and that some over the counter antibiotics would help him. He believed his own words in the beginning. What could possibly be wrong with him? He thought it was nothing the first day. The second day he convinced himself he got food poisoning. Ray was confused since he was fine with the Chinese they had eaten for dinner. At the time, neither of them questioned it could be anything else. Ray accepted the response and Mikey was beginning to as well.
Well, now he is two weeks in. Mikey noticed that nausea was not his only newly welcomed symptoms of whatever the hell he had. He was starting to get emotional. Now, if anyone knew him, they would know Mikey barely let his emotions show – some people believed he had none because of his poker face he always wore. The people he was close with knew he had emotions, of course, he just did not showcase them like Gerard, who was his polar opposite. Mikey was not just emotional he was overemotional.
It was insane. He would cry at the smallest thing. The ASPCA commercials always wanted to make you tear up, but he became a sobbing mess. The memory was burned into his mind. Some lame cheesy Hallmark movie was playing while Ray and he were making out on the couch. One of the ASPCA commercials played and that was all he could focus on. The lips he loved to kiss and the large hands that were touching him everywhere were the last thing on his mind. He stopped what he was doing and began crying.
Mikey sniffled. “Oh my god…”
Ray froze when he heard his boyfriend crying. “Mikey?” He felt horrible when Mikey scooted away and sat properly on their couch. “Oh my god, babe, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?” His heart raced seeing Mikey so distressed.
Mikey sobbed and placed his hands over his mouth. His hazel eyes Ray loved looking into were glued to the TV. “Why…why…?” He turned to Ray, “Why, Ray? Who the fuck would do that to such precious angels? People are so fucked up!”
Ray arched an eyebrow. It took a few moments to understand what his boyfriend was saying. When Mikey turned back to the TV, Ray looked at it too. The afro haired man noticed the commercial and could see why it would make people devastated. He was starting to feel sad, but he has certainly never seen his boyfriend so distraught before. Ironically, this is not the first time they had seen the commercial.
Instead of trying to analyze his boyfriend’s emotions, Ray got closer to Mikey and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. “I know, Mikes, people do suck. But we got awesome people trying to make a change, right?” Ray’s heart hurt hearing the hard sobs erupt from the latter.
“It’s unfair!” Mikey exclaimed. Ray was surprised when his boyfriend removed his arms and ran out of the room.
Mikey remembered he was sobbing his heart out in the bathroom. Out of nowhere, he realized how odd his reaction had been. It was his fourth day of acting whacky in the first week. He apologized to Ray later that day. His boyfriend was the sweetest and most understanding. The ray of sunshine just embraced him sweetly and made sure he was fine throughout the day. Mikey was the luckiest person in the world to have Ray Toro as his boyfriend that was for certain.
He never had an outburst like that because he had to reel himself in. If Ray was not with him, he did though. It was so bizarre that Mikey questioned if there was something mentally wrong with him. Some scents even caused him to hurl, not just eating. He literally could not smell the stand of onions and garlic while his stomach could not handle fried food anymore. He never had issues like this before, yet he was suffering now for some reason. Mikey noticed he was beginning to get easily annoyed too, but he kept that under wraps. Ray sometimes stayed at the studio late practicing with Frank and that was normal, but now Mikey was getting pissed. He was used to Gerard calling him every day at whatever time he chose, but it was getting on his nerves too, especially when it was early in the morning.
There goes my lunch, Mikey thought while he got up from where he sat at the floor and flushed the toilet. After he brushed his teeth to rid of the bile taste in his mouth, he stared at himself in the mirror. He could not handle another week of this. It was becoming too much for him. He worried about snapping at someone randomly. He feared that unlucky person being Ray or for Christ's sake some random person.
This whole situation was just making him more emotional. No one enjoyed throwing up and he was doing it too much. His stomach had become too sensitive too. He was also starting to think pickles tasted good with everything. It made sense that he would be a wreck about that, right? He had the urge to ask Google what was wrong with him, but there was a fear in the back of his head that he had some serious condition. He knows Frank would jokingly comment with “you’re probably dying.” Mikey doubted Gerard and Frank had an idea of what was going on and they had too much on their plate already.
He suddenly thought of Gerard and Frank. They were both working hard, but they were also trying for a kid. Mikey could imagine them being awesome parents to their kids in the future. He could think of all the possible thoughts in Gerard's head when the couple ended up with not so good news. Gerard had gone through two miscarriages and negative pregnancy test results. Mikey wished that his brother could be pregnant and the two of them would have the baby they deserved.
Seconds after thinking about Frank and Gerard, he had an epiphany. He felt like a complete moron for not having thought about it before. Nausea. Mood swings. Cravings. Mikey placed a hand on his flat stomach and looked down at it. There was only one way to find out.
He had no other plans today so he took his time heading to the store and buying a box of home pregnancy tests. Mikey decided that after he got the results and if they were positive, he would make a doctor's appointment just to confirm it. He wanted to be absolutely sure. Right after all this, he would then decide to try and find a way to give the big news to Ray.
Mikey hurriedly got back home. He wanted those results now. He would have to wait a few minutes before he would get his answer like the instructions on the box said. Once he was back in his apartment, he headed to the bathroom and started ripping open the box to get to what he needed.
Four minutes after getting his urine on the pregnancy stick, he set the test on the counter and headed to the bedroom. The box said it would take up to five minutes until the answer popped up. There was a possibility he wasnt pregnant, but he was beginning to believe those chances were low. Based on his symptoms, he had to have a little monster in his stomach.
The thoughts that he never had before were beginning to roam in his mind. If he was pregnant, would Ray be happy? Does Ray even want children right now? They're not married like Frank and Gerard, so were they even ready for a baby? Did thet have room for an infant? What if Ray didn't want the baby and left him when he found out? If he was pregnant, aborting it would just kill him inside so that wasn't an option.
Mikey looked down at his stomach and realized that he had placed his hand on top of it without realizing it. Was his body just now attached to the idea that he was pregnant? Was this something Gerard had gone through when he would find out he was pregnant? He would need to tell his brother, but...he felt bad.
If he was pregnant, how was it fair that Gerard wasn't? How did that make sense? Obviously, Ray and he weren't trying for a baby. Frank and Gerard wanted kids and were trying yet here he was pregnant. It wasn't fair. Gerard should be pregnant, not him! How would his brother feel when he told him? Would he be mad? Would he hide how he really felt about his pregnancy?
"Would he hate me?" Mikey whispered. Mikey couldn't live if Gerard resented him forever. A tear escaped his right eye when he heard the timer on his phone go off. "Shit..." He had spent a whole five minutes freaking out.
Hesitantly, the lanky male got up from the edge of the bed where he sat and headed towards the bathroom. He still had one hand on his flat stomach and his phone in his other hand. He didn't close the bathroom door so he could see the pregnancy stick standing on top of the counter waiting for him. The answer he was waiting for was in that bathroom ready for him to react.
Holding his breathe, Mikey found the strength to head into the bathroom and glance at the test.
Two lines.
He was pregnant.
Ray and he were going to be parents. Gerard and Frank are going to be uncles. He was going to welcome a breathing, little living thing into the world.
Now he just had to tell everyone else. Out of everyone, he was fearing telling his brother.
~~~
“Mikey…you're pregnant...” Gerard stared at the pregnancy test he found under the sink. The bathroom needed more soap so he went under the sink were there was more hand soap. He wasn't expecting to find a pregnancy test in there. Heck, Gerard was touching something that had his brother’s urine on it.
“I know,” he mumbled without looking up from what he was reading. Mikey was sitting down on the couch with a comic book in his hands. He just got some new comics yesterday and if someone thought they were going to interrupt his reading, they were wrong.
There were so many thoughts racing around in the older Way’s mind that he could not even attempt to think properly. This was big news and his brother’s focus was the comic book in his hands? He was about to ask if Ray knew, but there was no way. Mikey would have told the love of his life, right? Gerard would like to think his brother would tell Ray, but Mikey was just sitting there on the couch reading a comic book after he figured out that he was going to be an uncle. He was no longer focused on Mikey being pregnant, but why he was so nonchalant about the whole thing.
With the pregnancy test clenched around his left hand, he took a seat on the couch right next to Mikey. He had an urge to snatch the comic out of Mikey’s hands, but he brushed it off. “Why are you so relaxed about this?”
Mikey shrugged one shoulder. “Should I have a panic attack right now?” Gerard opened his mouth to say something, but Mikey beat him to it. “Do you want me to have an outburst? I can start calling myself fat and wailing about how Ray won’t want to have sex with me anymore too, if you want.” Gerard narrowed his eyes at him. Obviously, Mikey was joking, but his serious tone made it seem different.
“Mikey, I didn’t mean it like that.” Gerard did not want to see his brother in that state, but he imagined either one of them would have occurred with this news. “I’m just wondering why you’re so cool about this. I mean, you’re pregnant.”
Mikey nodded. “I know, Gee.”
“I just I don’t know…what are you feeling about this?” No one would be able to read Mikey’s expressions since wore his poker face 24/7. Not everyone knew to not make assumptions of how the younger Way was feeling. “Are you happy?” Gerard noticed Mikey place the comic book on his lap. When he heard his brother sigh, he worried. “Are you…not happy?”
Mikey began fidgeting with the hem of his old Anthrax tee. When she was teething as a puppy, Piglet would chew at his shirts. He kept them since they meant even more to him. “I am, I think?” Gerard looked at him expectantly. Mikey’s shoulders dropped. “I freaked out when I found out. I got better when the days went by.”
Gerard assumed Mikey found out today which was why there was a pregnancy test in the trash. He also had known that Mikey went to the grocery store earlier before he came over. “You didn’t find out today?” Gerard thought Mikey bought the test today and found out before he came over. It would make sense since they have been together in the same room until Gerard had to go the bathroom and noticed the test in the trash.
“I found out a week ago.” Mikey confirmed.
It was unbelievable. “You have kept this to yourself for a week?” He never asked Mikey if he told Ray. The small nod told him that he had not told anyone yet. Gerard was the first to find out which made him happy for a moment. Ray needed to know. “Why didn’t you tell anyone, Mikey? Ray needs to know.”
Mikey bit his lip. “I…I didn’t want you to know.”
“Me?” Gerard asked. He could see Mikey avoiding eye contact. This was bigger than what he was expecting. “Come on, Mikes, tell me. Why didn’t you want me to know?”
Mikey finally looked at his brother. “I know how hard Frank and you are trying to…you know. When I found out, I was freaking out a bit, but a few days after I realized I wanted to keep it. I imagined Ray and I raising the baby. I thought about us picking a name. All the good things started popping up in my mind. I thought about how this kid was gonna have awesome uncles too, which made me think…
“I remembered how many times you guys have been trying. I thought about the times you found out you were and then…not. It felt unfair, Gee. Ray and I aren’t even trying for a kid. We’re not married, and we are in love, but we still use a condom. It probably just broke. It’s just…I felt bad. I know I should tell Ray. I know I would have to tell you someday. I just…”
Gerard interjected. “You felt bad.” His eyes were watered now. Even after finding that pregnancy test in the trash, Gerard did not think about the many times he went through a box of them. All the times he got the two lines that made his heart soar. Frank’s hopeful smiles that broke him every time the calm before the storm occurred. They would never jinx all those chances, but the fear of another baby being taken from them remained.
Sure, it did sting somewhere within him. It has been months since he has gotten those familiar two lines. He would never hold it against Mikey though. “Your brother is going to have a baby, not you,” did not come to him, it was more like, “you’re going to be an uncle.” Everyone still clung onto the hope that they would become parents. Frank and he too because it was something they wanted. If anything, now Gerard was hopeful that he would give his unborn niece or nephew a cousin one day.
Gerard felt bad that Mikey was worried about him when he found out such amazing news. It just proved how much his kid brother loved him. “Mikey, I’m sorry you felt that way,” Gerard apologized. When he saw tears cascade down Mikey’s cheeks, he grabbed the comic and placed it on the coffee table before embracing his baby brother tightly. “I’m happy for you. I want you to be happy about this baby because you deserve to be.”
Mikey sniffled and snuggled deeper into Gerard’s embrace. “I want you to be pregnant too, Gee…”
“I know, Mikes,” Gerard chuckled. He was crying too. It was a mix of joy and devastation, but Gerard was still happy for Ray and Mikey. “Frankie and I still believe it will happen. We want it to happen so bad.” Gerard swallowed hardly when Mikey glanced up at him. “I want my little niece or nephew to have a cousin.”
Mikey beamed. “I want that too.”
Gerard pressed his lips to Mikey’s temple. “You need to tell Ray, okay?” He could imagine his afro haired friend would be over the moon to hear about the news. Ray loved kids and Mikey, so this was going to be the best gift he was going to get for this year. “He’s going to be thrilled to find out he’s going to be a dad.”
“He’ll be an awesome dad.” Mikey whispered. Gerard hummed in agreement. Frank would be happy for them too. Gerard wondered how his brother would give Ray the good news. He just knew Ray would feel like the luckiest man on earth.
~~~
A week had gone by since he found out he was pregnant. He was worried this whole time to tell Gerard and he had done it. Gerard said he would tell Frank when he had left that day. Now it was time to tell Ray about this. He knew his boyfriend would be understanding about of why he didn't tell him.
He didn't create some elaborate plan on how to tell him. He had been wanting to tell Ray, but he hadn't. He just wanted to blurt it out.
So he did.
They were cuddling on the couch watching movies like they always did. Ten minutes into The Gate, Ray pulled his boyfriend closer to him.
Ray pecked Mikey's cheek. "I love you." He turned to look back at the screen.
Mikey sighed. "I'm pregnant."
A few seconds had gone by when Ray turned around in shock. "What?" It must have barely registered in his mind. "You're...you're..."
"Yup." Mikey replied. He could tell Ray was astonished by this news. He wondered if Ray was going to faint. Did he even believe him? He got up to get the pregnancy test when he felt someone grab his arm.
Ray got out with him. "Babe, you're... we're going to be parents?" Mikey didn't think his boyfriend looked upset. He nodded in response. Ray smiled widely and embraced Mikey tightly. "I'm going to be a dad! Oh my God I'm gonna be..."
Mikey giggled and hugged Ray back. "Ye-yeah. We're going to be parents, Ray." He could feel the joy radiating off of Ray. He took one of Ray's hands and placed it on his flat stomach.
"Our baby is in there." Ray mumbled. He rested his forehead on Mikey's. "We're going to have a baby."
Mikey nodded. "When Gee gets pregnant, our baby will have a cousin." He still couldn't wait for the day Gerard would announce that he was pregnant too.
"Yeah. They'll be the best cousins to each other ever." Ray said.
~~~
"She's beautiful." Ray whispered while he sat right next to Mikey on the hospital bed. Mikey was holding their bundle of joy while they were both staring down at her lovingly.
Mikey giggled. "You put me through mood swings, weird cravings, annoying nausea, back pain and ten hours of labour," he said with a smile. "And I still love you."
Ray pecked Mikey's cheek. "She's perfect, isn't she?" The moment they had been waiting for was here. They had their baby girl with them.
The nurse was telling Frank and Gerard that they could come in and see the baby. Ray and Mikey were excited to introduce Grace Jeanette Toro to them.
"We're going to have to curse less around the apartment now." Mikey said when Grace yawned. "In no time she'll be at the age where she'll repeat what we say."
Ray rolled his eyes. "She's only a baby, Mikes. There'll be some time before she's doing any of that."
"Yeah, true." Mikey agreed. At that moment, the door opened widely and in came Frank.
Ray glanced up at Frank. "Frankie, come see Grace." The shorter male advanced towards them and awed when he saw the baby.
"She's so adorable. She looks like you both." Frank responded. The little tufts of brown hair were on her little head, but one would wonder whether Grace would end up with an afro or not.
Mikey was the one to point out the missing person in the room. "Where's Gee?"
Frank chuckled. "He's throwing up right now. The nurse is with him." He smirked at them. "They're gonna take a urine test."
Mikey and Ray shared identical smiles. Grace was going to become a cousin.