Notice: I feel like we all needed this... Enjoy :)
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Alexis POV
Flames burning inside of my body, the imagination taking over. If I passed away and was sent to the pitch of hell, I believe this is how it would feel like. My eyelids still securely locked together, palms sweating and my chest suffocating due to the burning pain.
Was I awake or still asleep?
The thin line between reality and detached mind was too blurry to judge the situation, I almost felt as if I were floating in front of the sun, allowing myself to die painfully and slowly, yet peacefully. Sweat running down my cheeks has suddenly disappeared, as if someone has patted it out with a towel.
I wasn't asleep.
Groaning inside I squeezed my eyes before opening them slowly – It was dark.
At first, I didn't see anything, the time it took for my eyes to adjust was enough for my brain to understand I was laying down under a duvet. Sweaty and almost boiling on the inside I kicked the duvet away with my legs, sighing from the small, but necessary relief.
Just as my eyes have finally adjusted to the darkness, the light has been suddenly switched on, giving me a scare. Once again it took me a couple of seconds before I could see again. The confusion and shock of why Vanessa was sitting on the chair next to me have left me speechless.
What happened? Why was I here...
"You are awake..." she broke the silence and shifted nervously. "I was beginning to get worried, you were burning up," she pointed out as she began wiping my face with a cold wet towel.
I shivered slightly and began to think about what has happened? I didn't remember much...
Breathing heavily and against my better judgment I managed to speak up, "W..W-what-" but Vanessa has stopped me with a gentle graze of her fingertips against my cheek.
I was beginning to feel uncomfortable, the inability to recall the recent events was freaking me out.
"Alexis, hey..." she frowned with concern clearly noticing the panic in my eyes and awkwardly moving her hand back, as if she thought what I feared was her. "Daisy has called me... you weren't well, and she asked me to come and pick you up. I hope you don't mind, I-" her voice cracked, causing my heart to ache.
I sighed still confused, I don't think she was aware I didn't remember anything. I wasn't well? Did I have a breakdown during the party? Even though I haven't felt well, all I wanted was to calm Vanessa down, she seemed very upset and broken. I had only just noticed how worn-out she appeared to be, with the noticeable eye bags, teary red eyes... Did she cry? She seemed so fragile and scared - Did I cause that...?
Narrowing my brows, I used all of the remaining strength I had and slowly moved my hand onto her lap, I wanted to hold her hand, but I was too weak to do so. Her thunder eyes observed me thoroughly, she seemed to be troubled by something, but I couldn't tell what it was.
At least not until she dropped herself onto my chest, sobbing into the crook of my neck, was I asleep?
No... Even my broken mind wasn't capable of creating such a heart-breaking picture.
It was weird to have Vanessa clinging onto me as if I was about to die, my heart was beating so quickly just by having her this closely. The effect she had on me was something no one else could replicate. I wanted to keep her in my arms and protect her from whatever caused her pain.
Gaining some strength I moved my left hand onto her back and the other one towards her silky black hair, which at first I only carefully caressed with my fingers, before slowly beginning to stroke them with my hand. I wasn't sure how much time has passed, starring onto the ceiling in what I assumed was Vanessa's bedroom.
I never stopped playing with her hair and even began creating gentle circles on her back in order to kill some time. Once she stopped sobbing, I was glad she decided not to move away, but rather get herself more comfortable, however, I still wasn't convinced she was okay in that position.
"Vanessa," I whispered into her hair. "C'mon l-l-lay on me, you n-need to rest..." I said truthfully, but selfishly, as I didn't want to let her go just yet.
I could feel her gulp at my request, but without moving away from my chest she got her lower body up from the chair and onto the bed. There was hesitance in her movements, and so I gently pushed onto her back guiding her to fully put her weight onto me.
"Are you sure I'm not too heavy...?" she asked weakly against my neck.
"I'm sure."
"Is this wrong?" she muttered while entangling her legs with mine.
I wasn't used to this insecure side of her, but it didn't phase me one bit.
"Does it feel w-w-wrong?" I wondered out loud.
She took her time with her answer, blessing me with a heavenly hum and her fingers carefully tracing down my neck and resting themselves on my collarbone - I felt sweaty and hot, but this time I believe it wasn't due to my fever.
"No," she said with a husky voice that rang in my ears. "It never does with you. It's just..."
That she's older, my teacher, has a child? Yeah, I understood it all. I wanted it, well... maybe except the teacher part, I would gladly get rid of the student title soon.
"I d-d-don't know w-what happened, why am I h-here... But for now, let's enjoy it."
Suddenly Vanessa has pulled herself up and looked at me terrified, "What?!" she exclaimed. "You don't remember...? Alexis let me explain this has to be so confusing to you," she began to ramble, flustered.
I puffed my cheeks in a pout, losing the skin contact was the only thing that I concerned myself with at the moment. Don't get me wrong having Vanessa leaning above me like this was also great, but I didn't want her to move away.
"Later," I rolled my eyes.
"But-" she began confused, but I shushed her with my thumb, deliberately pulling onto her bottom lip.
"Later," I repeated.
She lowered her forehead onto mine, making this the closest we've ever been. My hand slowly going to the side, moving a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and resting itself on her cheek.
"You are feverish," she pointed out as if it wasn't obvious.
Staring at her lips, which were mere inches away, there was only one thing I wanted to do.
"I want to k-kiss you," I blurted out, switching from her lips to her grey orbs.
"What about your rule?" she said as if looking for an excuse.
I groaned, curing my dumbass self for even making it in the first place.
"Irrelevant," I huffed frustrated, causing a slight chuckle to escape her plum lips.
"You really want your first kiss to take place when you are feverish, confused, and hardly aware of what's happening?" she said jokingly, not believing I meant it.
"I w-w-want it to be with you, nothing else matters," I confessed.
Her bright grey eyes looked at me completely mortified, she knew I wasn't joking and she didn't know how to react. I understood her completely because it was exactly how I felt, except I knew what I wanted to do.
I don't know where the strength came from, maybe the endorphins that have filled my brain to the point of no going back. I gently moved Vanessa onto her back, there was no rush, she allowed me to do it without any objections. Maybe she wasn't sure where this was going, or maybe she didn't have any more willpower to fight it.
Whatever it was, I was happy, excited, terrified, but most importantly in love. I wasn't sure what love was, or how it felt, but... it had to be it. I cannot imagine a stronger feeling than the one I had for the woman in front of me.
With one of my legs between hers, right hand slightly under her loose shirt, resting itself on the side of her waist - I felt more in control than I've ever had in my life. It was enthralling and terrifying at the same time because I had the most precious woman right under me, and she was allowing this.
Leaning closer to her lips, almost touching, I spoke up, "Can I?"
Her voice hitched in her throat, looking into her eyes for permission, she was fully aware of what I wanted to do, yet there was no regret only want.
"Just kiss me, Alexis," she groaned and pulled onto the collar of my shirt. "Unless... you want me to take over," she said with a hit of mischief.
Without any further hesitation, I closed the already non-existent gap and molded our lips together. It was magical, breathtaking, she made me feel so good, I never thought it was possible to feel this way. My stomach did backflips and my heart burst with happiness, the heat and sparks were growing with every passing second.
She let go of my shirt and entangled her arms behind my neck, bringing me even closer, letting me know she enjoyed it just as much as I did. It wasn't rushed, we took our time as we moved our lips in perfect synch. It might be my first kiss, but at this very moment I knew - I was addicted.
In our lives, there are moments, the crucial events, that depending on which route you choose there will be no going back. For me, one of those was taking place as we speak, and whatever it was going to bring us, I knew regret wasn't going to be a part of it.
We continued to kiss passionately. I heard moans, but I wasn't sure if they were mine or Vanessa's. My head was all fuzzy and the control she has given me was slowly fading, not that I minded.
Vanessa has pulled us up into a sitting position, with my legs now wrapped around her torso and my hand holding onto the back of her neck. Letting out a moan I tilted my head backward when she has moved from my lips towards my shoulder.
"F-f-fuck Vanessa!" I gasped when she left a tiny bite in between the kisses.
I felt her cheeky smirk against my skin and rolled my eyes at her cockiness.
"Don't you like it baby?" she whispered innocently right into my ear, before continuing to kiss behind it.
I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, I felt so many things at once, almost as if my body was going to overheat.
"More..." I begged against my better judgment, if I was going to die then so be it.
Without needing to ask twice she moved me onto my back, but not before removing my shirt. I felt her lips moving down from my neck towards my chest, I felt my breath getting heavier. When I looked down the sight of Vanessa kissing my stomach was the most thrilling and erotic thing I have ever seen. The second she looked up I knew something was off because the want in her eyes has changed into concern.
"Fuck, Alexis are you okay?!" She exclaimed and began touching my face with worry.
I blinked a couple of times before processing her words. "What..?" I muttered feeling dizzy.
Before I knew she was moving me up and putting a tissue against my nose.
"Hold it, I will grab some water," she instructed before bolting out of the door.
Taking a quick peek out of pure curiosity I groaned at the amount of blood. Of course, I've got a fucking nose bleed during the best moment of my life. I felt so embarrassed, but then I looked down and realized I was only in my bra... I don't think my brain has processed what was taking place just a mere few seconds ago. If I could have gotten any redder I strongly believe I would.
My attention went towards the opening door, Vanessa came in with a water bottle, and knelt in front of me taking the dirty tissue away.
"Here, drink," she handed me the bottle she has quickly opened up.
I did as said, and oh my, was I thirsty - I chugged nearly an entire bottle without taking a breath.
Once I finished Vanessa took it from my hands and placed it on the bedside table, before turning back towards me and observing me with worried eyes.
"Sorry..." my voice broke as tears have begun building in my eyes.
Vanessa got up onto her feet and spoke under her nose, I didn't hear her correctly, but I was certain she swore a couple of times. She walked back to me and gently moved some of my loose messy hair behind my ears - I wanted to melt into her touch.
"Don't... I took it too far," she began, and I opened my lips wanting to argue, but she shushed me before I could. "Knowing how bad you felt, I should have been more responsible, so don't be sorry, Rohi. I just couldn't help myself, I never can when it comes to you..." Taking me by surprise she leaned in and planted a quick peck on my lips. "Let's clean you up," she ignored my shock and guided me towards the bathroom, where she gently wiped my face.
I loved the way she took care of me, I felt completely safe in her presence. I didn't have enough strength to take a shower, so Vanessa used a towel to wipe my back and chest before giving me a clean T-shirt.
Guiding me back to the bed she ensured I was being comfortable and had another bottle of water right next to me. "We will talk in the morning, try getting some rest," she told me as she moved the duvet to cover me up.
I gave her a tiny nod feeling completely exhausted, closing my eyes, but feeling her hand holding mine until the last moment.
The next time my eyes have opened I was alone, and I remembered... Jack didn't have time to do anything after he pushed me into drinking the bottle of alcohol, which burned my throat out, it was only a matter of time before the repressed memories began to come back.
Tears ran down my cheeks onto my neck, I sobbed quietly not wanting to wake Vanessa who was most likely sleeping in the other room. Pushing pillow onto my face I cried. The pain and sorrow in my heart at the memories that were now clear and present in my head - I never deserved that, what they've done to me... I didn't deserve it.
How could I possibly ever be happy, when I was scarred for life. Knowing it wasn't right, but simply needing her, I got up from the bed and walked out of the room. It was gloomy and dark outside, but I could tell it was already morning.
Vanessa was sleeping on the sofa, the last thing I wanted was to wake her up, but the pain in my heart was too much for me to handle on my own. I walked up to her and gently pulled on the side of her shirt in an attempt to wake her up.
"Alexis...?" she muttered half asleep.
Tears began escaping again. "I-I-I...I r-r, em..m..emer," I choked out making no sense unable to create any proper sentences.
"Oh, sweetheart..." she took my hand and pulled me onto the sofa. "I promise I will never hurt you," she whispered a sweet promise, as I laid there fully embraced in her arms, snuggled into her neck.
At the time I experienced and went through a lot of different kinds of pain, but never the one caused by the person you were in love with. I was just praying to God who clearly hated my guts, that I would never have to go through that particular one because I don't think I would be able to take it.