"Lock it all up
And throw away the key
I would never give it up
'Cause I was just a fool
A fool for you
When I loved you so childishly
And I want it all back
I want it all, I want it all, girl, I want it all back
I want it all back
I want it all, I want it all, girl, I want it all
You never miss a good thing till it's gone,
I want it all, now I want it all back"
~chris brown
Kennedy banks pov
"Hold on y'all didn't say it was going to be all these people " my mother frowns as we pull up to a desert with dirt bikes parked on them . Durk , Von , juju , and Cisco are blasting music sitting outside the car waiting on us to park .
I'm so glad Noonie didn't tag along on this trip . That's one person I really don't need to deal with today . Especially if I plan on building my friendship with Von again . He would just be a problem that's going to distract us from conversing .
Plus , I don't know how I plan on talking to von while riding Dirt bikes anyways but I guess it'll work . If he even acknowledges me . I have all these words in my head to say and all of it might be useless if he doesn't pay me any attention. He still could be done with me for good .
"Ma these Ain't nobody but durks slow ass friends don't pay them no mind " india shakes her head and parks .
"Mhmmm I see lil Dayvon he's looking kinda cute i know why you stuck on him now ken " she says while smirking . I swear old people are the pettiest
"If you wasnt my mother " I mumble and get out the car . She laughs while her and india get out as well . We start walking over to them and Durk turns the music off .
"Well we'll well who do we have here " juju smirks walking up to us while looking at my mother
"This Durk and kennedys momma yall aka my mother in law so don't play with her "india announces and everyone greets her except for Von .
"Nice to meet y'all " she flashes a fake smile
"Pleasures all mine " juju smirks while kissing her hand . Durk comes over to push him out the way and mug him
"Do you just wake up and think of ways to get your life took from you ? " Durk asks him and he waves him off
"Boy calm down " my mother tells him "now why you got us out here in this heat ?"
"Because everybody been tense as hell lately and dirt bike riding is fun and outdoors so don't nobody gotta keep arguing " he explains to her then eyes me . I roll my eyes and look away to the dirt .
"Well I don't know how to ride one of these things " she says
"I'll teach you "juju smiles and Durk frowns at him
"Nigga get the fu- "
"I would love it " ma says and I look at her in shock . Durk furrows his eyebrows as she hops on the back of the bike with juju and they take off .
I look back at india and we bust out laughing . "Okay period momma need love to " India laughs and I shake my head
"I swear imma hurt that nigga juju" Durk shakes his head "always fucking playing "
"What if he really wants a taste ?" India asks
"India " Durk stale faces her "stop playing with me "
"Boy shut up and Cmon before my lashes melt off "
He rolls his eyes and leads us to the rest of the dirt bikes . Von and cisco are standing there talking , so they didn't even acknowledge us walking up . Great start . "Okay so I only brought four bikes and my momma and juju just took one of em so two of y'all gone have to share " Durk explains causing Von head to snap towards him .
"You sneaky bitch " Von mumbles
" on god I ain't know I didn't get enough bikes " Durk lies . It's so obvious when he's lying . I know he's trying to set up one of his stupid plans again .
"Put that on yo momma " Von sucks his teeth
"On my - " Durk pauses "nigga chill my momma on a dirt bike I can't even risk it " Durk shakes his head and Von sighs
"See I knew I should've never came , you a trap nigga " Von points .
Is he doing all of this just so he doesn't have to ride with me on the dirt bike ? If that's the case then this whole friendship thing is out the window . Obviously he doesn't want to be around me and Durk forced him to come off of a lie . I know he's mad but damn , he can't even ride a bike with me .
"Chill nigga you can just ride with Cisco " Durk shrugs
Von looks at him like he's crazy then snaps "what the fuck do I look like tucking my balls under another niggas ass cheeks , I look like juju gay ass to you ?" He asks and Durk and india laughs
"Fine nigga you can ride by yourself , I don't give a damn me and my girl finna be out " Durk shrugs putting on his helmet as him and india get on the bike .
"You ain't right Durk " Von shakes his head
"Duces " he holds up the peace sign and starts up his bike to ride off .
I stand there awkwardly with Cisco and Von feeling my whole mood be ruined . Von overreacting about him possibly having to ride with me honestly rubbed me the wrong way and I don't even want to be here anymore , than can keep the damn dirt bike .
"Kennedy you can ride mines if you want I can just spin da block in the car for the one time " cisco tells me and I chuckle a little and shake my head
"No it's fine " I nod "I don't really like dirt bikes anyways " i say
"You sure? " he asks
"Yeah go ahead " i say and he smiles
"Cool " he claps "I'm out nigga " he tells Von then hops on the dirt bike and zooms away .
I could tell by how happy he was he didn't want to give up that bike. And I didn't want my difficult situation and durks stupid plan to ruin his fun so I don't mind sitting this one out .
After watching Cisco's bike go a far distance I turn my attention to Von who's just sitting on his bike facing me . He's staring at me like I said something crazy .
"What ? " I question . He looks at me for a minute before speaking .
"You ain't never even rode a dirt bike before have you ? " he asks and I look at him then roll my eyes
"No " I mumble
"Exactly so why would you let that nigga keep it ? " he asks like he's genuinely curious
"For one , even if he would've let me have it I wouldn't have known how to ride it and since your on your period I know you don't want to let me ride with you " I explain then shrug
He frowns a little then his face softens "I'm not on my period I'm just done hanging around yo ass " he says hurting my feelings a little but I refuse to show it
"Be done I don't give a damn, go hang with asian ass " I shrug feeling myself fall into the same behaviors I'm trying to steer away from . I can't let him get me back to that point no matter how he's acting .
"She at home taking care of the kids why you so worried about her ? " he smirks clearly trying to make me jealous .
"The question is Why aren't you worried about her ?" I question while chuckling "you left her at home with your thirsty ass cousins and an empty bed . Looks like your kids ain't the only ones she gone be watching " I blurt out . Okay that's just word vomit I didn't even try to be petty .
He looks at me for a second then turns away and starts his bike .
"You know what ? I really hate you " he says and I mug
"I hate you more !" I yell
"Well I hate you more than more "
"You sound dumb " I tell him and he huffs and shakes his head .
"You know what else ? " he asks
"What ? " I question ready to go into another tongue war with him again . I know it wasn't exactly the conversation I was looking for but at least we're talking .
"Cmon " he nods and I look at him confused
"On the bike?" I question
"Duh nigga " he snaps and I smile a little before grabbing my helmet and climbing on behind him .
I'm caught by surprise by him letting me ride with him , I guess arguing makes him want to be around me or something. I don't even know why but I still haven't figured this man out .
"Are you gone hold on or you want me to hit a bump and fly you off this bitch ? " he asks aggressively and I roll my eyes and wrap my arms around his torso scooting closer .
"You don't have to be so rude " I tell him and he ignores me and starts pressing the gas on the dirt bike. As we speed up I hold him tighter and close my eyes not even wanting to see my surroundings. This is a very dangerous activity and I don't know why people do this for fun .
Obviously Von agrees because everytime I squeeze him I feel his heart beating at a rapid pace . This just ain't it !
"Von can we stop ? " I attempt to ask in his ear
"Huh ? " he questions
"Can we stop?! " I yell and hear him groan . The bike starts to slow down and when it comes to a complete stop I slowly take off the helmet and open my eyes
"Nigga was your eyes closed ? " he asks on the urge of laughter
"All that shit you be talking and you scared to ride a dirt bike "he laughs
"Fuck you that was unsafe " I mug him and flip my legs to one side of the bike .
"Girl why the hell you getting comfortable we gotta ride back " he says
"No " I groan" I would rather walk" I shake my head
"See you shoulda just stayed back in the first place with yo scary ass" he chuckles
"I would've if you didn't practically beg me to get on your bike " I boost
"Girl I ain't beg shit , you was the one out there looking like a sad ass puppy I couldn't leave you like that " he says and I smile looking up at him
"I thought you hated me ? " I ask
"Oh I do best believe that " he nods making my smile drop "but you still my lil folks I can't just have you out here like that " he says . My mood is lifted by his words and he doesn't even know it . What he's saying sounds way better then him saying he hates me all the time . I'm his 'lil folks '
"I would've been fine " i say lowly and he looks back at me . He smoothly turns on the bike to face his legs the same way then looks over at me .
"Why you so sad ? " he asks
"I'm not " I partially lie and he purses his lips
"Girl the Kennedy I used to know would've killed to do some corny highschool musical shit like this , now you just cool with sitting off to the side sad as hell what's wrong witchu ? " he asks and I look over at him knowing at he's right .
"I don't know " I shrug "I just don't think that's me anymore " I say honestly " I've lost all my excitement "
"Damn just like I thought " he mumbles and shakes his head
"What ?" I ask
"Them niggas back in Chicago den broke your spirit "he says and I sigh a little . "Prolly got you out here stripping , living pay check by paycheck , maybe a little prostitution on the side " he adds on and I bust out laughing .
"Okay your dragging " I laugh at him
"Man that shit true " he smiles "you know what this remind me of ?" He asks
"What ?"
"When I spent the day with you just to cheer your homeless ass up a year ago " he reminds me and I laugh and shake my head rembering that day .
"Oh please you know you had fun don't act like you were doing a good deed " I roll my eyes at him
"Man whatever you still was a charity case " he laughs
"Okay what about the time I cheered you up when you were crying cause Durk went to jail and cut you off " i say and his smile instantly fades
"First of all I'm not a lil hoe I don't cry " he shakes his head
"Liar " I laugh "you were so sad 'my bestie don't love me no more" i fake mock him and he sucks his teeth
"Nigga I never said that " he frowns and I laugh looking at him watching a small smile form on his face .
"I know you remember on this exact day a year ago when you and Durk made up then you came to the Stu with us and rapped them sorry ass lyrics " he says and I furrow my eyebrows then think back to this day a year ago when Durk apologized to me for being on the streets with Von when I didn't want him to have anything to do with him .we see how well that aged ... now I'm in love with him
"Oh yeah " I laugh and he joins
"my rap still harder than all the songs on your album "
"Ha you funny " he plucks me and I swat his hand away then start thinking .
" wait how did you remember that ? " I ask and he smiles a little . Von smokes to much to be having this type of superb amount of memory . Especially something as small as the things he's bringing up .
"Cause around that time I hated your ass , kinda like I do now " he says and I roll my eyes and lightly hit his arm ."I'm just playing " he laughs
"nah I remember because that's the same day I imagined us fucking for the first time " he says bluntly and I look up at him looking at his serious expression.
"Yeah I remember " I chuckle a little feeling nerves fill my stomach .
"Hell yeah I was mad as fuck when I realized it was a dream " he laughs trying to lighten up then intense moment of silence
"Yeah you seemed a lil hot " I shake my head " dream must have been steamy " I joke
"Hell yeah it was " he groans " you didn't walk out on me in the dream " he says then eyes me .
"Oh so you wanna throw shots " I bust out laughing and push him
"I'm just saying the Kennedy in my dream was lit as fuck you looking kinda unfamiliar right now " he says holding his hands up in surrender .
I smile and shake my head "well the Von in my dreams is nicer " I tell him and he looks over at me .
"You could have that Von in real life If you stop playing hard to get like you ain't already mine " he smirks a little and I do the same then slowly shake my head . We stare at each other for a minute then I watch his tongue as it slowly slides across his bottom lip.
"You straight? " he asks in a raspy voice leaning over towards me . I'm so speechless that I can't even talk so I just nod to answer his question.
Completely loosing track of my reality I get lost into his eyes and freeze in place watching his lips move closer to mine . Here I am once again , still without answers , still confused , still hypnotized, about to be kissed by a man with a girlfriend and two kids at home waiting for him to return . I shouldn't do it , and it's wrong .. but I WANT to did it . I really want to .
His lips gently touch mine as his hand holds my chin tightly . Probably so I won't pull away .. but i didn't plan to anyways .
He deepens the kiss by slipping his tongue between my lips and I exhale feeling my breathing become uncontrollably while feeling his touch .
I feel like I'm melting in his hands as his body touches mine while the kiss begins to get sloppy .
He gently bites on my bottom lip then pulls away staring into my eyes .
"Why'd you stop ?" I question feeling the warmth in my body die down from not feeling his touch anymore . He smiles a little and points behind me , I turn around and see Durk juju cisco and india from a distance making hearts with their fingers and giggling like big ass kids .
"I swear your friends are childish" I tell him shaking my head
"That's your brother " he points out
"Sadly " I mumble . He chuckles then grabs ahold of my hand helping me down from the bike .
"You ready ?" He asks
"Yep " I smile nodding .
I don't know what we're doing , or how long this is going to last but I'm not complaining.