"A love letter came through the mail, it said, "I miss you"
I ripped it up and flushed with the tissue, try to forget you
I ain't got nothing against you, we human, we all got issues
But I'm tired of being tired of being tired"
~lil baby
Kennedy banks pov
I sigh , slowly opening my eyes to wipe the sweat off of my forehead . I look over and see Daniel sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed . So I quickly get up and grab my phone to head to the bathroom and sit on the bathtub . I lock the door , unlock my phone , and text Clarence .
Today I finally decided to tell him about Daniel and I being officially together and being that Daniel and I had sex last night I think this is the best time .
Talking to two guys is fine , but sleeping with two guys is where I draw the line ! Yes , Clarence has been fun and I'm going to miss him but this little fling we got going on isn't going to work anymore . I'm in a real relationship now .
Clarebear🐻❤️
Me- Clare we need to talk
~Pull up to my condo 😏
Me - I think it's better we talk over the phone
😗
A couple seconds pass and my phone rings . I sigh and nervously answer.
"Hello " I answer
"Why you whispering ? You good ?"
He asks hearing how I'm talking a little above a whisper to prevent Daniel from waking up . He doesn't even know about Clarence so I know he would flip completely out if he heard the conversation I'm about to have .
"Yeah I'm good , I just need to tell you something important " I hesitate to tell him
"Wassup ma ? Talk to me "
"Uhm " I mumble and try to gather my words . "Daniel and I are back together "
I cringe a little at my words and wait for him to respond . A long silence goes by and I check to see if he's still on the phone
"Hello ? " I question
"I'm here " he says with all the excitement out of his voice "you back with him so you cutting me off? " he asks letting his aggressive New York accent boom through the phone
I sigh and nod as if he can see me "I have to Clare , I can't have sex with two guys at the same time "
"oh so you finally gave that nigga some ass and you in love ?"
"Tuh no " I scoff
That's actually the complete opposite of what happened.
After last night I really can't stand to even be around Daniel but I know cutting someone off because of bad sex is not a valid excuse and could possibly curse me with bad karma so Im just blaming it on him having first time jitters
But Jesus it was terrible. He has no intimacy, barely looked at me , and had an orgasm in less than three minutes. That has to be some kind of record .
I tried my hardest not to compare him to my other partners but let's just say if there was a list he wouldn't be on it . He didn't talk , didn't grip me , grab me , he didn't even stoke completely, he just stayed in the same spot and made little movements .
It was one point where I forgot I was even having sex and yawned about to turn over and go to sleep and I'm almost certain he noticed . It was like having a ex with a doll
"Kennedy? "He calls out snapping me out of my thoughts
"Huh ? "
"You love him ? " he asks
"Yes "
"You in love with him
? "
"Yes"
There's a pause and I hear him sigh .
"He make you feel as good as I do ?" He asks in a seductive tone getting my full attention.
Don't break Kennedy. Don't break
"Clarence I have to g-"
"Answer the question "he cuts me off
I look off into the bathroom and reminisce on the moments that Clarence and I had before . Damn.
"No " I answer him
"Lemme show you how some real dick feel Kennedy , stop playing with them Lil ass boy "
I exhale feeling his voice affects on my body and shake my head "I can't Clare " I say
"I feel you " he chuckles " but you know where I'm at if you change your mind love . Stay up "
The phone hangs up and I bite my bottom lip trying not to remember clarences touches , how he talked to me , how me caressed me , and made me feel nothing but lust at that very moment which is something I needed badly .
Kinda like right now .
But I can't , I'm in a relationship and I'm sticking to it .
I get up and look in the mirror then brush my teeth and wash my face . Who needs sex anyways ? I'm perfectly fine without it . Not every partner I have needs to be able to give out great penis, it's the personality that matters right ?
Buzz buzz
I look down at my phone and see clarences name pop up on the screen .
Clarebear🐻❤️
~The doors unlocked
I sigh reading his message and shake my head . Damn why is he so consistent and why am I so weak minded .
I sit the phone down and restrain from responding . My lady part is throbbing and she's literally calling out for affection , and calling out for someone's name , but I just don't know who's .
My hormones are stronger than my mind right now and I can't help how I'm feeling . i just need to feel something more than love . Something My boyfriend can't give me , shit even something Clarence can't give me . But he's the closest thing to it , so I guess that's what I'm stuck with . I'm so sorry Daniel .
Me- I'm otw
Omniscient pov
Von pulls up in front of his house and parks in the driveway with Durk on the phone .
Right after they left Keishas apartment , Durk called him To give him a pep talk and tell him what to say to Asian when he arrives home .
Von entertained durks conversation but he already knows what He wants to say when he sees her . He thought about a lot of things and finally figured out how he's going to move forward in LA. With or without people !
"Dayvon you hear me talking to you ?"
Durk yells through the phone .
"Yes nigga damn " Von chuckles "I'm finna walk up to the door " He tells him getting out the car and walking to the door
"Good put me on speaker " he says
"Why In the hell would I do that ?"
"So I can pop this shit off , let me just say one thing "
Von shakes his head and puts him on speaker while unlocking the door and stumbling in seeing Asian sitting down crying .
She looks up when she hears footsteps and starts running towards him feeling pure relief , still letting the tears stream down her face .
"Baby your home " she tackles him into a hug letting tears soak onto his chest . Hes so shocked that he doesn't hug her back. This emotional behavior from her is weird to him .
He's never gotten this type of soft side from Asian , only the toxic side . So seeing her cry like this feels odd.
"Yeah fuck allat emotional shit listen hear biotch-"
Von quickly hangs up the phone in durks face knowing he was going to say something out of pocket . Then wraps his arms around her letting her emotions flow .
"You good Asian ? " He asks feeling concerned . A feeling he's never gotten for her .
He's always felt negative emotions toward Asian . Anger , frustration , annoyance, never anything positive until this moment right now .
She seems so vulnerable and genuinely sad and he felt it as she hugged him while trying to calm down her tears .
He hated that he's the reason that she's crying this hard and it's bringing back memories of when he made Kennedy cry hard . Kennedys really hurt his heart and now seeing Asian in this new soft light , it's hurting him more .
"No im not okay " she pulls away "I didn't think you were coming back to me "
"I wasn't " he tells her honestly and she sighs .
"Von I'm so sorry . For everything" she burst into tears again , completely breaking down . He slowly grabs her waist and pulls his body into hers to calm down her breathing .
"Shh" he mumbles on her neck . She takes a couple more short breaths and finally lifts her head revealing a tear stained face .
"I know you don't want to deal with my shit no more" she mumbles . He sighs while thinking of his previous plans to cuss her out and break up with her , but seeing how non violent she is right now , he decides to take a different approach.
"Asian I just don't think we're healthy fa each other " he says. She nods a little then puts her head down . "Everyday we fighting , arguing, allat , I'm tired"
"I'm tired to " she mumbles
"I can tell , that's why we just need to be apart "
"I know " her voice cracks "it's my fault "
He looks down at her and sighs feeling the guilt take over his body. He's been taking advantage of Asian all this time knowing that he didn't really want her and was still in love with someone else .
He didn't realize how much he was hurting her during his healing process and he never stopped to care until now . He feels terrible and honestly wanted to ask for forgiveness, but knowing himself , those words probably wouldn't leave his mouth .
"It's not your fault " he manages to say " it's mine . I should've never kept fucking with you while I still loved someone else that shit was foul and I'm sorry " he says then exhales feeling like a burden has lifted off his shoulders. He felt replenished, calm , and forgiven . The best he's felt since he moved out to LA .
"Thank you" she smiles "that's all I've been wanting from you "
"And You got it " he smiles a little "you think we could make this shit work ? " he asks her
"Hell yeah " she nods" I'm in love with you "she tells him then pauses . "Do you love me ?"
He looks down her eyes and starts cuffing her butt . "You been staying down for a niggga for a long time when all I been doing is treating you like a straight up bitch"he starts "and Even though you annoying as hell and got a mean ass attitude "he stops to let her laugh "any girl that ain't left me and still riding for a nigga Imma love forever " he says and she starts tearing up .
"So you all in ? " she asks and he nods
"Yep "
"Well I promise to chill and stop tripping on everything. King is your son and i should respect that "
Dayvon furrows his eyebrows and lets out a sigh of relief "Damn Imma leave your ass home more to think cause you a whole different mufuka today "
She chuckles a little and shakes her head " I just don't want to loose you again " she admits
"You not gone loose me " he says then plants a kiss on her lips .
"I love you "
"I love you to "