Chapter 6
"Miss me?" He smirked cockily.
just- no.
This is just my head playing tricks on me because I'm dehydrated, right?. tell me this is just a hologram? or-or maybe he was cloned or abducted and this is not the actual Damian. I mean, I did hit my index finger pretty hard back at the park; maybe I got a contusion? I was trying to think about every possible way in which this was just a simple illusion and not the cruel reality. The question is how? How could he possibly find me?
My heart was beating really fast, my hands were sweating and my legs barely held me. My eyes were sealed on him and they wouldn't move away, they wouldn't listen to my commands. I should have been running but my legs were under a spell. I needed to calm the fuck down and take a deep breath and I tried, but my lungs were disobedient and only did what they pleased . I couldn't seem to snap out of my trance until I heard Alex speak.
"W-what are you guys doing here" he asked eyeing Damian carefully. He didn't move one inch from his position, looking at me with a cold glare. I could see him getting angrier and angrier every second that passed and I wasn't even doing anything yet.
"Oh, I just came here to have a small talk " he innocently announced, smile widening, but I knew better. I knew that inside that head of his, he was picturing different types of scenarios in which he murders me and laughs while at it.
He took a slow step forward, instantaneously meeting my reaction. I turned to run but I was trapped, surrounded by all the counters. In order to escape I had to climb on top of one of then; and that's exactly what I did.
"Fuck!" Alex screamed when he saw Damian trying to reach me, but I was already at the other side.
"What is happening?!" Cece voiced her thoughts. I landed on my feet, breathing heavy and ran to the other side of the living room.
"Your friend didn't then tell you, did she ?!" Damian exclaimed trying to run past Alex, Cece and Connor to get to me, but Alex gripped him harshly by his shirt.
"Cece, Connor, help over here!!" Alex begged because Damian was to damn strong. Cece jumped on his back while Connor tried to hold his forearm "man, calm down. Just let it go" Alex tried, but it was no use.
"Don't tell me what to do! Three hours. Three fucking hours tied up for no apparent reason. I didn't even do shit." He spat trashing in their grips.
"What are you talking about?" Cece asked.
"Apparently Aaren locked him in a room, tied up and half naked. I have to admit, that was really daring. " Connor explain laughing. Damian glared at him.
"Aaren! How do I not know this?!" Cece amused, now on top of Damian's back.
"I-I don't know it just didn't come up" I answered trying to think what to do next.
"Can you please let go??! I won't do anything to her, not physically" he narrowed his eyes, his expression changing into a smirk "of course, nothing she doesn't want " he looked at me, I grimaced; he's so bipolar. Damian grunted when he saw that three weirdos clung to his body didn't make a move to let go.
"Damian..." Alex sighed, looking at his brother with a tired expression.
"I wouldn't touch her; you know very well I wouldn't hit a girl" Damian explained and continued "Blondie I normally wouldn't say this to a hot girl but, can you please get off of me?" I rolled my eyes. At least he said we wouldn't touch a girl. I don't know if I was expecting him to punch me squared but I sure as hell felt relieved when he said he wouldn't; for my own sake... and anatomy.
"Oh, sure" Cece hopped off his back " and Damian" she smiled "I know we hadn't spoken before but if you touch my friend, I'm gonna squeeze your balls so hard that I'll make a juice with them and shove it down your throat. Got it?" Two out of the three boys covered their family jewels surreptitiously at her threat; the one left rolling his eyes. Bet you know exactly who.
I was a little annoyed because Damian -not two second ago- nakedly flirted with my best friend. He did not learn a thing from what happened. Before I knew what I was doing, my lips were moving "you clearly didn't get it, did you?."
Now freed, Damian crossed his arms in front of his chest. I tried not to get distracted by the way his arms looked. This would've been easier if he wasn't so good looking.
" Aaren..." Alex warned after I spoke.
"Oh no, wait.. let her finish. I really want to hear this" Damian announced. I was mad at him, like really angry. He was such an idiot and had no boundaries. I hated guys like him. "Go ahead" he motioned for me to keep going.
"You're such an ass. Do you not know how this little life game of yours affect people ?" I started "I thought after everything you would at least consider things better now" I raised an eyebrow daringly. He frowned clenching his jaw. A smirked slowly making its way to my lips.
"Oh don't you worry babe, I've learn my lesson." He smiled "I've crossed path with insecure little girls, so I know what to expect."
I was confuse by his words not really understanding what they had to do with anything "now, youre out of topic." I pointed out.
"I'll explain.. " he started taking a step towards me. I would've moved away but I felt the need to face him as the brave woman I could be. I didn't wanted to give him the pleasure of seeing me squirm under his gaze; so I held my ground. Now, he was only an arm distance from me. The brunette licked his lips -moisturizing them- and proceeded to speak, " I know why you did this." A sarcastic chuckle escaped from me, letting him know how stupid I strongly believed he sounded. He thought he knew me, funny. His face was now right in front of mine allowing me to smell his minty breath. My swallows got tighter. Had I mentioned how my body has a life of its own? I needed to punch myself for the love of God. I raised an eyebrow inviting him to get his point across. He barely took time to speak " deep down, you don't give a shit about giving me a lesson. All you care about is proving something to no other than yourself. What you did wasn't about me, was it?" I crunched my eyebrows.
"You're delusional" I groaned.
"Am I ?" He smiled " as I said before, I know girls like you. Tell me something though, how many boys had cheated on you?"
"What?" I almost screamed the answer to the unexpected question.
"How many? Three? two?" He stepped even closer " how many will it take until you realize that you're the problem?" my heart skipped a beat at his words, " this is what it was about. You wanted to prove to yourself that you're not the problem, that you can be desirable. That boys can like you and they don't go away because of you."
"Stop it Damia-"
Damian interrupted Alex by raisin his hand " It's not over." he announced. At this point I had forgotten about everyone else; they've been listening to the conversation this whole time. I didn't know what to say about any of this, I was speechless. I know Damian was saying this things out of rage for the stunt I had played on him. I knew he had no right no say anything about me regardless of things that happened between us; he didn't know me. The problem was that deep down I knew that he said was the truth.
I don't know what's more painful; the fact that he's saying the words that I've been in enough denial to admit or the fact that he could read me like a book barely knowing each other. I didn't like it; I didn't have a cover to protect myself, and the fact made me feel more vulnerable in front of his eyes. I felt scrutinized.
Cece groaned "No, you're done. Now, I'm going to beating the soul out of your body" she tried to approach him but Alex took her by he hips instinctively. She stopped herself and looked down at Alex's hands, a smirk slowly posing on her lips. Alex swallowed loudly and immediately moved his hands away -as if her body was made out of fire- with rosy cheeks. After their little interaction, Cece looked at me "don't listen to him. Damian get the hell out of my house"
"It's fine, I was about to leave" I nonchalantly spoke, surprising myself by my own words. My best friend was about to protest but I shook my head. Apparently Damien was disappointed for not getting the reaction he wanted from me, seeing that he had the deepest frown printed in his face. I turned around -about to leave- but stopped myself to speak " you got it right. I might be the problem. At least, I suffer on my own. I'm not responsible of other people's disappointment. I hope you're content." With that I left Cece's place.
After stepping out of the door I felt my eyes stinging a little, a sign of potential tears. I started walking numbly. When I couldn't see Cece's home anymore I let a single tear scape from my right eye, the others chasing after. Oh, bloody hell. What started as a beautiful day ended up like shit. All I wanted was to get home and sleep until the summer ended. I hated everything that happened. I hated boys, Specially THAT and I hated myself for being so weak. If I was just a little stronger from soul, I would've been a little better in these types of scenarios.
What can I say? Like the wise Hanna Montana once quoted: 'Nobody's perfect'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was already at home. A few hours had passed and I'm not going to lie, I still felt crappy. Cece had been texting me, asking if was okay and I always answered with a simple 'I'm fine', not really in the mood to open up. I had the house to myself and I didn't like it. I needed a distraction; an argument with my siblings, a conversation with my parents, some interaction with someone who hadn't knowledge of what had happened earlier. The TV wasn't enough. The X-box nor the Internet didn't do it for me either. After sitting on my couch for thirty minutes straight in the same position, I suddenly decided to go to my closet and collect my old guitar.
After searching for my childhood friend -my companion in the loneliness- I felt a little pull at my heart. The beautiful old wooden guitar brought so many memories back. I remembered the first day when I got it as a gift from my favorite uncle, uncle Mason. It was his and he felt the urge to give it to me saying something among the lines of 'I know you will take care of it'. I remembered when he started teaching me how to play, the memory as clear as a water drop...
"Here little one, put your fingers like this" uncle Mason said smiling, taking my small eight year old pale digits and setting them on top of my new guitar. I was so exited for my new gift. I never had something like this and coming from my favorite uncle made it even more special. He was like a second daddy to me and Max. He always played hide and seek with us and helped us build the new tree house. He taught us how to play soccer and helped us every time we got in trouble with our parents. He was the best uncle ever.
After positioning my fragile fingers in the right places I started striking the chords slowly, a grin making its way to my baby face.
"uncle Mason, I did it!" I said after finishing playing the simple tune. It wasn't the perfect show; I had never played the guitar before until now, but my uncle seemed happy and that gave me hope.
"I knew you would, I'm proud of you" he ruffled my hair, I giggled. He smiled for a second but as soon as the smile appeared, abandoned his face. He was smiling sadly now and I didn't like it. It wasn't his regular smile and it didn't make his eyes shiny like they usually did. He looked at me and said " I want you to promise me something." I shifted a little on the couch and nodded. He sighed " Every time you play this guitar, I want you to think about something that makes you happy. Anything. A memory, a dream, a person...Anything. I want you to hold onto that and be the happiest kid in the world no matter what. I love you kiddo; and Maxie. I'll always be there for you."
" Love you too" I responded with my small voice. I didn't know why he was telling me all those things but eventually, I understood. A year later he died from cancer.
I didn't realized I was crying again until I saw a tear fall on my forearm. This was so emotional, the reason why this guitar remained mostly in the back of my closet. I knew that me crying while playing it wasn't what my uncle would've wanted, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help thinking about the hell my family went through after his death. Even if it was seven years ago, I still had this small stinging in my chest when I thought about my uncle. My father had lost his baby brother, Max and I or uncle and friend.
Multiple breaths after, I was calmed. Gripping the guitar, I slowly placed it across my laps, positioning my hands where they belonged. It's been long since the last time I had played it but anyways, I took a deep breathe and started stroking the first melody that my heart led me to...
~I am strong I know I am
I know you are but can't see
I can try to make you understand
You're worth it you're not a mess
Im not trying to make u change
Nobodys perfect there are defects
That's what makes you human
Don you see? you're perfect to me
You're perfect to me...~
It felt good. I felt this giddiness inside of me, and as promised, I started thinking about all the things that made me happy. Although I was just humming the song -because I'm afraid that if I sing I might actually kill a human- I felt liberated, like if I was screaming the words out loud. I guess I had forgotten this sensations.
~I can fix u I can
I tried so hard but nothing changed
Everything the same and you're still yourself
Everybody knew while I was lying to myself
I can fix u I know I can
Every time you pushed away
I came back ignoring
I knew in you there was hope
I was the one hopeless
Baby, don't do this again
I know you're broken like fragile porcelain
But there's still me and you
Remember? I'm your darling, you my muse
Im not trying to make u change
Nobodys perfect there are defects
Thats what makes you human
Don't you see? you're perfect to me..
You're perfect to me..
The first happy memory that came to mind was my seventh birthday. The day was atrocious and the biggest disaster of the century. My dad tried to play wizard to entertain the kids and ended up choking on a pink balloon trying to make a puppy with it. My mom was taking care of the twins who were babies at the time. She was carrying Dilan when she saw my dad gasping for air, and in a moment of desperation she gave the baby to someone randomly, to hold him. That person ended up being my cousin Katie who was going through a weird Emo phase at the time and didn't gave a fuck. She lost Dilan. My uncle went to the rescue and found the kid eating my b-day cake. All this happened and nobody cared. As cheesy as it'll sound, nothing really mattered because we were all together.
I continued producing the sweet melody.
'I can fix u I can
I tried so hard but nothing changed
Everything the same and you stood yourself
Everybody knew while I was lying to myself
I can fix u I can
Now turning tables, things turned reverse
can see regret above your face
Isn't it late to amend?
You were the broken one now things have changed...'
I finished the song with my eyes closed and smiled to myself. I felt better; much better. My green eyes went to the ceiling, "thank you" I whispered. Taking my guitar, I was about to throw it on the closet like before, but decided against the idea. This time I placed it next to my dresser, where it was visible.
I heard noise and ran downstairs to find my father getting inside with his work suit, dark brown briefcase and thick reading glasses.
I smiled. "Daddy!" I greeted excitedly jumping on him, like when I was a five years old. He got scared and almost attacked me, posing like a ninja. I giggled " lame dad, like, really lame."
"What? You caught me off guard! It's been long since you went all 'four year old' on me" I laughed at his unusual wording.
"Sure dad. I'll pretend you believe in your own words; just because you feed me though, which is what you should do now. Make me your special dessert pleaseeeease!" I pleaded hugging my dad from behind.
My mom was a awesome cook, but my dad's amazing 'BAM!' -As we called- was something you couldn't forget. It's a really delicious dessert he created one day that my mom left him to take care of me and my brothers when we were really young. As usual, we were acting extremely annoyingly, so he took all this random stuff like browny, ice cream, whipped cream and many other things I don't know, to give to us and shut us up, accidentally creating the BAM! The name came right after Max tasted it for the first time his reaction being 'Oh my gosh dad, this is so..BAM!' With his mouth full of the invention. Dad's the only one who can make it right. I tried and trust me, I didn't get my cooking genes from my parents.
"What's happening to you?" He joked.
"Nothing daddy. I just really want you to make BAM!"
"Who just mentioned heaven on earth?" Said Max, now entering the house with the twins following him with their dirty soccer uniforms.
"Maybe daddy just offered to make us some" I smiled, my dad glared at me.
"Awesome! Now I feel motivated. I'm taking a shower" Dilan said, walking upstairs. His twin shrugged and went to seat on a stool.
"Nate go take a shower. I can smell you from here" I said grimacing. He rolled his eyes but obeyed anyways. "Great!" I clapped once grinning " let's do this before mom gets home and kills us for eating a heart attack. To top it all, before dinner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh. My. Gosh" I said, taking a bite of the delicious BAM! We were all seating around the counter finishing our dessert. I decided to answer Cece one of her texts saying that I was okay really, and that I was having some BAM! She cursed me multiple times for not telling her so she could come and have some. We didn't talked about what had happened earlier -probably because knowing her she would want to talk about it in person- but she did mention that the conversation was pending.
We were all talking about Dilan and Nate's soccer game and how amazing they performed when the main door opened revealing my mom. She looked at us and we all stopped our forks midair.
" Dad offered us" we're the first words that came out of Nate's mouth.
"Oh, my child" my dad said between his teeth, " remind me to give you your allowance." He slapped the back of Nate's head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
^image: how I picture Max^
Hey yoooo!!!!
I'm so sorry for not being able to update in almost more than two weeks. I know I said this before, but college is pretty chaotic right now with the midterm going on and everything. Good news is that next week.... SPRING BREAK IS HAPPENING!!
My family went to Miami last week in the hot beautiful weather while I was here in Massachusetts trying to feel my boobas with this cold weather. I know, the love. But it's all because of college.
Now changing the subject, the song in this chapter was written by...me. Yes :D, I also like songwriting and I hope you guys liked it. The truth is that I wrote that song inspired in After by Anna Todd, because that's one of my favorite stories/fanfics and she rocks, I never showed it until now. I just thought I should let you know.
Aaaaanyways, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!! See you soon and please
Keep up with me ;) ...
- Jess
(Not edited)