forever and always

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It was a quiet couple of weeks.

We were doing well at home, there weren't any cases, it seemed almost normal.

I had gotten my new tattoo a couple days ago, but wore long sleeves around the office. I wanted to keep the ink to myself for a little while longer. Because if they saw it, I knew I'd have to explain it and I wanted a break from crying in front of my coworkers.

I hadn't sobbed in a while and I'd like to keep that streak going for a little while longer.

That morning at the office, Stephen came over to talk to me about Spence. He went to see him and knew I'd want an update. From the picture Stephen painted, he wasn't well. I could tell from his letters from the last few weeks that this was starting to take a toll on him, pieces of himself were being chipped away as the days went by.

But a case came up. I had to shift my focus temporarily to the victim in need of my help. Before the briefing, I unintentionally eavesdropped on Emily and Rossi's conversation.

"What good am I to him? I drove all the way there and couldn't even bring myself to go in. It absolutely kills me to go there knowing I can't get him out."

"You should go see him," I heard myself speak up. They both turned their attention to the doorway I was standing in. I stepped into the office and continued.

"He's hopeless. In his last few letters, he's basically told me he feels like giving up. He doesn't know if he's gonna make it out alive or not and you're one of the best people to give him that motivation. Your talks have always seemed to help him when he needs it. You should go."

He contemplated it for a brief moment, but he already had his decision made. "Visiting starts at 10?"

"We'll see you in New York." I gave him a quick hug before I left his office. "Thank you. Give him my love."

"I will."

He gave me one last pat on the shoulder and I was off, ready to stop a psycho killer in the Big Apple.

The case had been going pretty well at first. But I've learned that good things never last.

It started with Rossi's phone call. The prison went on lockdown and he could only talk to Spence for a little while. Rossi wasn't sure when he could go back to see him, so he stuck around at Quantico waiting for confirmation.

Then we hit another wall. One of the officers we were working with was not too keen on the FBI being there. We had plenty of cases dealing with unhelpful officers, so we just ignored it.

We were in the middle of trying to reason with them, Emily in full-on unit chief mode. "Officer, you just need to trust us. We're only here to help."

"Yeah, well trust goes both ways." He paused and turned his gaze towards me, a smirk on his face. That look did not prepare me for what he would say next.

"Just so you know, all of our officers are clean and checked out. Nobody's runnin' drugs and killing people across the border."

Immediately, the atmosphere changed. "Officer, can we have a word?" Emily said very sternly. You could tell that she, and the rest of the team, were pissed about what he just said. My body went stiff and the world around me seemed to slow down. JJ and Luke were at my side in an instant. "Hey, let's go outside."

The officer was still smirking at me as I was pushed out of the precinct. I felt sick to my stomach. My breathing started to become rapid as we stepped outside. JJ grabbed my hand and started to calmly talk me down.

"Deep breaths, Ariel. Try and match my breathing, alright?"

"How do they know?" I choked out. Luke and JJ shared a look of despair.

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