The Ties That Bind Us

The Lethargy

Stiles stared at Severo for several long seconds. Finally, stupidly, he asked, "What?"

"Trust me, I know. It sounds outrageous the first time we're told that we matter as much as the half-breeds. But it's the truth, pure and simple. Without us... They would've lost everything. They'd probably be extinct. It took a lot of years of persuasion from Araya's part to convince me that I could choose my life over hers and it wouldn't make me a bad person. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live—with fighting to survive. We're only human after all."

"But..." Stiles frowned, mouth dry. "I couldn't do that to—to Scott. I could never do that."

"You have no idea how much I struggled with it too, Stiles. But in the end I had to choose myself in order to win. I closed my mind to Araya. I banished her presence and the Jinni's. That doesn't change the fact that I love her. That I'd do anything for her. Nothing could change that," he said. "I'm still her guardian and I still protect her. Only now I don't have a demon trying to eat me from the inside out. The bond may seem useful, but it's like any other sickness. And you have to take care of yourself to overcome it. What good would my destruction be to Araya? How could I protect her if I died?"

Stiles's heart was pounding in his chest. What this strange man was suggesting was ridiculously wrong. No, it was just ridiculous, period. There was no way that after all they had been through that Stiles could put himself above Scott. He just couldn't.

But hadn't he already? When he left?

"I know." Severo made an understanding face, like he could read Stiles's mind. "It's not an easy thing. And only those who suffered through it can understand. It requires a lot of what makes you you, and a circle of trust and strength between two people. It took Araya and me a long time to... many hard years..." His face darkened, and Stiles could only imagine what those years had been like. "I was always telling myself I couldn't do this to Araya. That if I truly loved her, I couldn't even consider it. But she—she said sometimes it is okay. Sometimes we can put ourselves first. That since I was always first in her heart, why couldn't I, sometimes, be first in my own? Isn't it possible that your Arkadaş feels the same way?"

Stiles thought back to their last meeting. Scott had said: I understand that you're trying to cope. But you need to find another way, Stiles. To let it go. Could it be that Scott would let it go of certain things as well? That he wouldn't mind? Stiles had chosen himself when he had left, yes, but breaking the bond? Wasn't that a step too far?

"I don't know," he said in a small voice. That was all he had for now.

Severo gave him a long, level look, but didn't push him on the matter. Then Baki stuck his head out the back door. "Nana wants to leave now," he told Stiles. "She wants to know why you're taking so long and said to ask why you'd make someone as old as her to keep waiting and suffering with her back."

When he was gone, Stiles shook his head and sighed. "It's damn hard being worthy."

His mind was reeling when he returned to the Tate house. Without the bricks, the walk back had been a lot easier. It had given him a chance to ponder Severo's words. Stiles felt like he had received a lifetime of information in a one-hour conversation. And to top it all out, he was finding the trickster's silence quite disturbing. Like something was brewing.

Talia was going about the house, doing her normal tasks of cooking and cleaning. "Stiles! Are you hungry?" she asked automatically.

"No, I'm okay. Where is everyone?" he asked. The house was unusually quiet.

"Laura and Kali are at work. Cora's out at a friend's, but she'll be glad you're back."

"What about, uh, Jordan?"