Hate That I Love You Still (Spencer Reid)

2. before, part 2

Your shared spot with Spencer is a small lake outside the small town you both live in. When Spencer first took you there, it was completely magical. It is such a special spot for you both- it is where you first told each other you loved them, and your first 'time' was there as well.

"Where you off to?" Your mom asks as you grab your car keys and head out the house.

"Kendra's. She is having a little get together." You lie through your teeth.

"Mhm. Text me when you are there, yeah?" She says, unbothered. "And text me if you need a ride home, Y/N." She says looking up from her book.

You roll your eyes. "Of course, Mom. Love you."

As you begin your drive to your special spot, you begin to cry thinking about all the shared moments together...

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You finally approach your spot. You park in the small parking lot near the lake, and begin the walk up the trail. Sadness and longing course throughout you body. Spencer used to make sure he would walk with me up this trail. You think to yourself. He always used to say, "You know, despite there only being a .00039% chance of being a serial killer victim, I don't want to risk it." You smile to yourself about all the little things Spencer used to tell you all the time. You miss that.

As you walk up to the lake, you sit down on the grass and look at the moon reflecting into the water. It is not entirely cold, but the breeze makes it a little chilly. You begin to cry again and hug yourself, as you realize how alone you are right now.

You finally pull out your phone to look at the time. 11:34.

"You know, you always had a knack for being early." A voice rings behind you. You body stills as it recognizes the voice. Spencer.

You stand up slowly and turn around. Spencer looks so tired. The bags under his are even more big than they usually are. He is wearing a Caltech sweatshirt and dirty sweatpants. You secretly thank yourself for going more casual.

"Spencer..." You say, as you are crying now. "I, um. Can I hug you? Please?"

"Uhm. Yeah, sure." He says. You can hear in his voice how tired he is.

You walk towards him slowly. Standing before you is the man you love wholly and completely, and with your entire being. You don't think there's another in this world that you could possibly ever come close to what you feel for Spencer. As your arms wrap around his waist, all these statements become innately true. You tighten your arms around him, and don't want to let go. Because deep down, in your heart, you have no clue when the next time you get to hug Spencer will be. You feel his chin slowly rest on the top of your head, and you can feel his tears soaking into your hair.

You both stand there for what feels like a lifetime, until you both peel apart. At this point, you are both crying.

"I missed you, Spence." You say as you wipe your tears away.

Spencer doesn't say it back. You can feel your heart breaking more.

"We need to talk." Is all he finally says. He leads you to a bench near the lake.