Falling to Pieces

Chapter 1 - Wet Glue

                I nervously chewed at my lip, “I know that, Dad. Why are you telling me this right now? Is something going on?”

                “No, honey,” he said while comfortingly shaking his head, “Nothing’s going on. I just want to make sure you understand that.”

                I nodded my head. “I do, Dad.”

                “Good,” he paused for a little second, “You know, Jess, I have a feeling that you’ll find what you’re looking for this year.”

                I didn’t quite understand what my father was implying, but the warm and soothing words that had rolled off of his tongue gave me no choice but to comply. “Hopefully.”

                We sat together in silence, listening to the waves hit the shore for a few moments.

                “I need to get back home and finish up some work, alright?”

                I looked up at him as he stood up and dusted off the grains of sand that had clung onto his slacks, “Yeah, sure.”

                “Be home before dinner,” he lightly whispered while stepping away.

                I quickly smiled before turning back around towards the ocean. The last streak of sunlight slowly faded away. I looked down into my lap, twirling my fingers. This was my last summer in California, because tomorrow I had to wake up to the first day of senior year. School. High school.

                High school meant that I would have to forget the ocean. The image of the peaceful, clear water and the million shades of the sun blending together would be distorted by pages and pages of useless knowledge in textbooks that I would spend days reading. I just wasn’t ready for it yet.

                I stood up, brushing off my blue sweats, and began walking back on the path to my house. I loved taking the long way home.

                As I planted my first step onto the thick, concrete pavement, my thoughts began to play again. No one really understood me, not my parents, not my sister, and not even my friends. I had tried so hard to become this good person that in the midst of the drama in the past few years, I had lost myself. I had people who cared about me, who cared about me a lot, but I needed space. And that’s why I pushed everyone away this summer. I needed this time to glue back all my broken pieces.

                The air began to grow cold, and a brisk breeze flung a piece of my chestnut hair across my face. I pulled it back behind my ear, and for a second I stopped in my steps. I stared out again on the path in front of me; my mind was blank. For some strange reason, I felt something... someone.

                I glanced behind me and then back in front again. Nothing had changed. But a small part of me felt something different—a feeling I couldn’t explain.

***

                “Jess, honey, are you still awake?” my mother asked while peering through my bedroom door.

                “Yeah, Mom, what’s up?” I glanced at her effervescent face and smiled.

                “I just wanted to say goodnight… and good luck for tomorrow!”

                I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, staring at her uneasy posture. She was never this sweet. I mean, my mom was wonderful and all, but today, this never-before-seen distraught expression was melting on her face.