cause you were all yellow | a.i.

ten.

life of the party shawn mendes
"take your shot, it might be scary. hearts are gonna break cause we dont have the time to be sorry."

i kicked my shoes off at the door starting to head for my room, but my mom quickly stopped me. "and where do you think youre going?"

i stopped in my tracks turning back to the kitchen. she was standing against the island with her hands on her hips.

"to my room," i told her.

"and where are you coming from soaking wet with only a tshirt on?" she continued to push.

"my friends house," i lied. "she has a pool."

"okay, well i want to meet this mystery friend of yours. so i know your safe," she said.

"cant you just trust me for one minute mom?" i started. "i do everything you ever ask of me! im still applying to colleges and trying to get ready for this new school because thats what you want me to do. i finally made one friend who i really trust and i know wouldnt hurt me so cant you just trust me? i know who he is-"

shit i meant to say she.

"he?" my mom cut me off.

"i meant she, not he. its that girl i was telling you i met at the grocery store."

"okay," she said wearily. "you know the rule about boys."

"yes, mom. i know," i started. "focus on school. ill only end up getting hurt anyways."

"exactly," she said. "you dont need to be getting wrapped up with some guy, you need to focus on school."

"i know, mom," i said as i started towards my room.

"clairo?" she called.

"yes?" i answered.

"i do trust you, you know," she started. "i wouldnt let you go out if i didnt."

"thank you, mom."

"just dont give me a reason not to trust you," she finished.

"i wont, mom."

i already was. i mean if she figured it out.

i was breaking the no boys rule.

but he was just a friend. right?

he was just showing me how to live. right?

——

i spent the next week texting ashton every second i had.

even just talking to him made me smile.

our conversations just flowed so easily and we never didnt have something to talk about. he loved listening to me ramble and i loved just hearing his voice.

soon our text conversations became phone calls. it helped me fall asleep, although he never wanted to hang up.

i usually ended up falling asleep while he was still on the phone. some mornings id wake up and the call would still be going, but i couldnt ever hear ashton on the other side, almost like he was muted?

im not sure, but it was comforting to know he was still there.

i woke up friday morning and he was still on the other end of the phone. it was almost 9am so i figured he was awake too, but i couldnt hear much on the other end.

once i began to stir and he heard me, i heard his voice come through the phone, "yellow?"

"yeah?" i replied still half asleep.