What the heart wants

Chapter 53

Chaeyoung walks side by side with Jeongyeon in the park. She feels awful because she has been keeping her distance from the taller girl when all she wants is to do is be in her arms.

"I love you."

Jeongyeon stops and turns to look at her.

They're in a public place and Chaeyoung knows it's not wise to show affection here so she takes the older girl's hand for a moment and squeezes it gently to show how much she means her words.

"I love you too." Jeongyeon smiles the first real smile in three days.

Chaeyoung nods shyly and they continue to walk in the park, their hands often gently brushing against each other.

Nayeon feels conflicted when she sees Mina in her room talking to Jihyo about the decision she has made. A part of her wants to ask her, beg her even, to change her mind, but if going back home is the only means she's going to be healed Nayeon doesn't want to stand in the way of that.

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath and opens the door to Mina's room who looks startled at first but soon relaxes in her presence.

"I know you're mad at me."

"I'm not Chaeyoungah." Mina's voice is low but sure. It throws Chaeyoung off a bit.

"You should be."

Mina shakes her head. She walks towards where Chaeyoung is standing, looking small and guilty and it affects her so much she takes her hand in hers and whispers. "I'm mad at the situation maybe, but I'm not mad at you. I could never be."

Chaeyoung feels tears prick her eyes. She's not sure if she deserves this kind of love and affection from her, not after what she had done.

"Then why are you leaving?"

Mina drops her gaze and looks at their linked hands. She recalls Sana's words in her head. We all pull away from things that hurts us.

She doesn't tell Chaeyoung that.

She offers a small smile and says, "I'm a little homesick."

Chaeyoung knows it's a lie, for her benefit and more tears well in her eyes.

Mina doesn't like how fragile and broken Chaeyoung looks. So she tugs on her hands and pulls her into a warm hug, telling her repeatedly they're okay and she's going to be okay too.

The girls gather in the living room that night when Mina breaks her decision to everyone.

Momo's voice cracks as she asks, "When will you come back?"

Mina doesn't have an answer to that. It could be a month, or six or never but she can't say that to the girl who looks like she's about to cry. "Soon."

Nayeon knows what soon means. She feels numb from pain that she can't even react to it anymore.

"I've spoken to the management. They'll make an official announcement to the fans in a week's time." Jihyo tells Mina who smiles back gratefully at her.

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" Jeongyeon's voice is small and hoarse like she is struggling to keep tears out of her eyes.

Mina goes to kneel in front of her and lifts her face up with a finger to her chin. "Can you promise me just one thing?"

Jeongyeon nods her head silently.

"Keep her happy." Mina whispers. "Don't ever break her heart."

The words feel so final, like a goodbye even, that Jeongyeon is so overcome with emotion she wraps her arms around Mina's neck and sobs into her hair.

All of them spend time together making dinner, because soon it's just going to be the eight of them. The bitter truth a little hard to swallow for the girls in the dorm.

"Where's Nayeon?" Jihyo asks Dahyun who avoids her eyes.

"Dahyun, tell me!!"

"Went to a bar."

"Alone?" Jihyo rubs a hand to her temple. She knows the girl has her heart broken by Jeongyeon and wonders how Dahyun thought it would be a great idea to let her wander off alone.

"I tried to go with her." Dahyun explains, "but she promised she isn't going to get drunk and just wanted some time alone."

Jihyo relaxes a little, because she knows Nayeon doesn't make empty promises. That doesn't mean she can stop worrying because Nayeon shouldn't be alone, not when she's nursing a broken heart.