What the heart wants

Chapter 50

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath because she's about to do the bravest yet shittiest thing of her life. She looks to Jeongyeon as if to draw some invisible strength from her.

Jeongyeon gives her a reassuring smile but Chaeyoung could see she's absolutely terrified too. She takes the taller girl's hand in hers and squeezes it gently getting a sigh in return.

"No matter what happens, things aren't going to change between us." Chaeyoung hugs her and lays a gentle kiss on her chest.

Jeongyeon holds her tightly, and feels the tension leave her body. She's petrified that she might lose Chaeyoung in this mess, but the breathy words calm her and gives her the strength to do what they're about to do.

"Ready?" She asks, her hands shaking as she continues to hold the younger girl in her arms.

"No." Chaeyoung lets out a shaky breath as she pulls back and holds her hand. "But I am not ready to hide us either."

They walk through the door and seven pair of eyes look at them with emotions ranging from curiosity to pained and miserable.

Jihyo frowns at their linked hands and wonders why they texted and asked for all the girls to be assembled in the living room. She doesn't like the inkling feeling at the back of her head.

"Jeongyeon and I have to tell you something." Chaeyoung starts hesitantly. When Jeongyeon squeezes her hand she takes a deep breath and continues, "Because you're like family and we don't want to lie to you anymore."

Nayeon briefly glances at Mina who's biting her lower lip so hard it's almost drawing blood.

"Chaeyoung and I are dating." Jeongyeon finishes it for her.

There's a deafening silence in the room.

Nayeon blinks back the tears in her eyes. She's not going to break down here, not in front of everyone.

Mina glimpses at Nayeon for a second and sees the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child as she looks toward the window, as if the view outside could distract her from the pain.

"I'm sorry if this upsets any of you. I didn't mean for this to happen." Chaeyoung's voice is low as she speaks in quiet tones. "I didn't mean to fall in love. But I'm not sorry for falling in love."

Jeongyeon stares at Chaeyoung with wide eyes. She blinks away the surprise and turns to look at the younger girl. "You love me?"

Chaeyoung nods shyly, forgetting that they're in the living room for a moment as she continues to hold her gaze. "I don't know when or how that happened and maybe it's been a long time coming, but I love you."

Jeongyeon's eyes well with tears.

"I'm in love with you too. Always have."

Chaeyoung smiles back at her through her own set of tears.

Nayeon wants to be happy for them but there's an unrestrained nausea swirling in her stomach. She grips on the arms of the chair so tightly that her palms are sore and aching. She digs her nails on the wooden surface to give herself a firm grasp, to give herself some hope that everything is going to be okay. She is going to be okay.

Mina heart aches like someone placed a red hot coal in her chest, it throbs and tortures her and there's no relief to be found. She wills herself not to cry, but her eyes are pooling with unshed tears.

She glimpses to her side when she hears feet scraping on the floor. Nayeon walks to the door, her shoulders drooping, her breathing deep and burdened.

Mina hears the door click shut.

Her insides feels raw as if a winter wind is blowing right through her skin. The last words uttered in the room haunts her, replaying like an echo.

She doesn't want others to see her cry. She leaves the room quietly and locks herself in her room. There, she lets the tears flow in muffled sobs, wrecking her heart and shattering it into a million pieces.

Nayeon walks aimlessly as rain drops begin to caress her skin, as if to heal and soothe with their gentle touch. To call it walking in a daze doesn't begin to cover the dark clouds that's formed in her head.