Perfectly Imperfect

24

The bus ride back home was gloomy. Right after Chris left, I told them I was leaving too. Cassie didn't say anything. I knew she couldn't tell me what was going on because of her stupid principles, but I felt betrayed. I felt like she was keeping things from me. All of them. Especially Chris.

What is going on? Why didn't he tell me?

How could he make love to me and then leave like that?

I had a right to know, though. I loved him and I wanted to be there for him. And if this last day was any sort of indicator, he needed me too. He'd proved it to me. When he kissed me, when he touched me, when he loved me. He had to. I wasn't imagining things. I'd seen it in his eyes.

Mom wasn't home when I came back. Dad told me she had an urgent call from the hospital. I wanted to go to Chris' house, but I wasn't sure he was there. I called him several times, but I was sent to voice mail.

Riley wanted to play UNO with me but she gave up because I just couldn't concentrate. My mind was brimming with different theories to what was happening.

The craziest one was that maybe Caitlin was pregnant. My stomach sank. No. She couldn't be, could she? I mean, she was drinking beer the other night. Pregnant women never drink alcohol, right? Please God, don't let her be pregnant. Please.

It was awful. I was a complete mess.

Mom didn't come home that night. She texted Dad telling him that she had to spend the night. It wasn't that unusual, though. From time to time, if the hospital was short on staff, they would ask her to stay. It didn't happen often, but it did happen.

I couldn't sleep. I tossed around my bed all night, waiting for a text, a call, something from Chris. Cassie had called but I ignored it. First, because it might prevent the phone from getting any kind of signal from Chris and second, because I was pissed. She was holding out to me. It hurt.

When it was time to get up, I dragged myself out of bed, carrying my phone everywhere. Just in case. I would have beaten myself over the fact that he'd called and I didn't have the phone near me. Although, it seemed useless. I called him one more time, but I was sent to voice mail again. Frustration welled in me.

Where the hell is he?

Both my sisters were already inside the car, and I was about to climb inside, when Mom stepped out from the cab that had parked in front of the house. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her whole face was contorted in a painful expression. "Mom?" I stepped to her side as she finished paying the ride.

Her blue eyes turned to me. The hue seemed lighter because they were rimmed with red. "Have you talked to Chris?" she asked leaning on to me. She was completely drained.

My breath caught in my chest. "No," I mumbled, feeling a knot forming down my throat, my chest constricting.

She closed her eyes. "It's Luke." She shook her head, "he's got kidney cancer. He hadn't told us because he didn't want people to know." Her eyes teared up, "but he's in a bad shape." Her voice broke, "really bad shape." She hugged me, crying softly over her friend.

My stomach sank while my eyes brimmed with tears too. Chris knew. It made sense now, how pained and lonely he seemed at times.

He'd been carrying all of it on his own, for who knows how long. Luke was his only family. I couldn't imagine how broken he must feel right now.

My heart soared for him. I wanted to be there for him. I needed him to know that he could count on me.

"Take your sisters to school," Mom pulled away rubbing her eyes with the back of her palm, "Before you go the hospital, okay? I'm going to call your Dad and let him know." She sniffled, stepping away through the small concrete path that let towards our house.