Falling // Wolfstar

Thirty Four

"And how are your memories coming along?" Madame Pomfrey asks. She scans around Remus' head with her wand, pressing onto certain points.

"They're coming...slowly," Remus answers. "Most of what I remember is spells."

"That's good progress." Madame Pomfrey scribbles notes down into Remus' file. "And how do you feel most days? Any fatigue or dizziness?" Remus presses his lips together. He shakes his head slightly and Madame Pomfrey jots that down accordingly. "Don't be too discouraged, Mr. Lupin. Sometimes things happen for a reason."

Remus scoffs. "I can't really think of a particularly good reason to lose my memory." He folds his hands on his lap with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. It's just very frustrating."

"The brain is one of the most magical things in the world. It works in mysterious ways. There are times when memory comes back slowly, and other times where it takes one event to make the rest fall into place." Madame Pomfrey places a maternal hand on his shoulder, rubbing circles to comfort him. "I've known you a very long time, and I know that you will get through this just like you have every other time in the face of  adversity."

"What if I remember things wrong?"

"That's why I strongly recommend that you don't ask your friends about the past." Madame Pomfrey takes a step back and rummages through her medical cart with her back to him. She turns around, holding a green apple before Remus. "Take this apple for example. We're both looking at the same thing, correct?" Remus nods, unsure where she is going with this. Madame Pomfrey rotates the apple in her hand, revealing a bite mark taken out on the other side. "You see, from my perspective, I saw a bite taken out of the apple. On your end, the apple was perfectly fine. Even though we were both looking at the same thing, we don't share the same perspective." Madame Pomfrey tosses the apple up and it vanishes to nothing. "Do you understand why it's crucial that you do your best to remember things on your own?"

"Yes." Remus fiddles his thumbs on his lap anxiously. It's probably not the best time to mention that he had already done just the opposite.

"You're free to go, Mr. Lupin. I'll see you next week for your check up."

Remus steps down off the bed and readjusts his robes. "Thank you." He waves goodbye as he heads out. Davy is leaning against the wall adjacent to the doors, kicking himself off when he sees Remus.

"Hey!" Davys says with an air or enthusiasm. "How'd it go?"

"Same as usual," Remus replies casually. "You know, she did say something that was sort of helpful. Sometimes it's one specific memory that can trigger the rest to fall into place."

"I thought you knew everything that happened. You said Abigail told you."

"Well, I know of it. Doesn't mean that's how I remember things happening."

Davy picks at his lip in consideration. "Maybe we should talk about the past and it could help reinforce what you know." He takes a seat on a bench, gesturing for Remus to join him. "What about Abigail?"

Remus sets his bag down on the floor, crossing his legs comfortably. He's momentarily distracted by his tiny motorcycle socks. They remind him of Sirius. After a second, he snaps out of his thoughts and responds to Davy. "Erm, what about her?"

"Your relationship. Tell me about it."

Remus presses his back to the wall, leaning his head back all the way. "I guess it all started at flying lessons," Remus begins. "She's horrid at flying."

"She can't be that bad."

Remus raises a challenging eyebrow. "Believe me. She crashed right into me and that's how we met. We had a lot in common back then...she wasn't very outgoing. James and Peter were never really close with her. Even the other girls, like Hestia and Alice, were courteous to her on my behalf. So we preferred to stay in and play cards rather than go out with everyone else." Davy's eyes glisten longingly as he listens to Remus. His entire focus is centered around Remus. "We started dating shortly after that the flying incident."

"But you loved her, right?" Davy asks.

"She was my first love, but you know, we were just kids. We were both so young and things started to get more complicated as we grew up. Sometimes we argued, though it was usually about petty little things. She didn't like when I read a lot."

"Maybe she felt like you didn't give her any attention."

"Maybe." Remus toys with the edge of his tie, rolling it between his fingers. "All I wanted was to make her happy. When she was happy, our relationship was good. And when the relationship was good, everything was normal."

"She seems like she was really there for you." Davy's hand reaches out and rests on Remus' knee.

Remus sucks his teeth, lowering his head. "I don't exactly know much after that. We dated every year after that until...I cheated on her."

Davy's hand tightens ever so slightly on Remus' knee. "Why?"

"Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that out myself."

"You broke her heart."

Remus sighs heavily, feeling the guilt weigh in on him. "I don't know why I did...it's not in me to deliberately hurt somebody."

Davy retracts his hand, now shifting to face Remus with a curious look. "Tell me, have you ever been cheated on?" Without any thought, Remus shakes his head no. "Not once?"

"Um, no."

Davy smiles softly. "That's a good thing. Why don't you just ask Abigail to get back together? I'm sure she's forgiven you now. I'm a firm believer in fate, and you two sound like soulmates."

Remus crosses his arms unsurely. Soulmates? Was there even such a thing? "You think?"

"I do. You really depended on her - she was like your rock. It sounds like you lost yourself when you cheated. I mean, you did say it's uncharacteristic for you to intentionally hurt somebody. I know you're still...well I know that you're a good guy on the inside, just a little confused perhaps? Abigail might just be the link that makes the memories fall into place."

It isn't a terrible idea, Remus thinks.

He ponders the suggestion when Davy gets to his feet suddenly. "I just remembered that I forgot to hand in my potions essay! Slughorn will have my neck."

"Oh, of course - go." Remus watches Davy take off, leaving him alone in the corridor. He flexes his arms behind his head, wanting nothing more than to disappear right on the spot.

Eventually Remus hauls himself up, wandering down the middle of the empty corridor.

Get back together with Abigail. Part of him wants to dismiss the idea completely. But then again, maybe Davy is right. Abigail could be the missing piece to his puzzle. For some inexplicable reason, everything always somehow circulates back to her.

Suppose things do happen for a reason. What harm could writing a letter to her do?