The Affair (Zarry/Zouis)

chapter 36

Zayn shakes his head. "The only thing I'd want is wine, but I can't have that because I drove here."

"That's alright, I don't have any wine in here either."

Zayn frowns. "How can you not? We had enough to last us for five years."

"I threw them all out," Louis admits, getting a glass of juice from the kitchen.

"How could you? Those were expensive." Zayn says. Louis hands him over the glass and Zayn collects it.

"Well, it's my house now so it was my decision," Louis says. "And I didn't want to get tempted to drink them during my worst days."

"Oh," Zayn says, suddenly feeling guilty over bringing it up. "You can always talk to me whenever you feel that way. I still care about you, and I don't want you to be depressed."

"It's okay Zayn," Louis smiles at him. "I'm doing way better now."

Zayn isn't sure if he's telling the truth or not so he decides to leave it as that and change the subject.

"Where's the nanny? I haven't seen him in a while," Zayn says.

"Oh, I tell him not to come whenever you're coming around," Louis says. "I don't want anything that could lead to us fighting."

Zayn recollects the events that happened the last time he met the nanny. He was a total asshole because he got slightly jealous. He feels like a tyrant, he doesn't even live here anymore nor is he married to Louis yet he still indirectly dictates what Louis does.

"Do you think I'm an asshole?" He asks Louis. Louis frowns.

"Are you really asking your ex husband that? You know I'm biased right?"

Zayn chuckles. "I know. I want an honest answer."

"My honest answer would be yes," Louis admits. Zayn expected that but he still feels hurt. "But you're still a good person. You always try to be better. The fact that you're asking me that now proves it."

"I do want to be better," Zayn says. "I can't even begin to start trying to make up for how much I've hurt you."

"I hurt you too, let's just call it even," Louis says. It's not though, they both know it. Louis hurt Zayn by leaving him the first time and stealing his money because he wanted to experience life without him for the first time. He came back and he never expected Zayn to take him back, but Zayn did even though he never forgave him. For the remainder of their relationship he proceeded to use his anger as justification for the way he treated Louis. He lied to Louis all the time and cheated on him with Harry. At the end he got the happy ending, but Louis didn't.

It's no where near even but they don't say anything about it. Freddie wiggles around in his arms, wanting to crawl so Zayn drops him on the ground. He crawls over to meet Louis and Louis carries him.

"Same time next week?" Zayn decides he should leave now. He drops his glass on the side table and gets up.

"Sure," Louis says.

...

A couple of days later, Zayn rushes to get home so he doesn't arrive late for their baby shower. He parks his car and walks into the house, he's a bit late, he lost track of time at work.

There's already a couple of people there. Harry's sister, his mom, and their friends, Niall and Justin.

"Tsk tsk tsk, late for your own baby shower," Justin says when he walks in.