it feels right | seongjoong

chapter forty

seonghwa stared at the intoxicated boy who was ready to pass out.

"okay c'mon, get up" seonghwa slowly picked up hongjoong from the couch as hongjoong was helping himself up.

seonghwa sat in between hongjoong as hongjoong went onto seonghwas back.

he stood up and started walking out.

"hey what's wrong?" yeosang spoke as he walked in front of seonghwa with the boy on his back.

"i'm taking him back to my house. he's a little out of it." seonghwa spoke as yeosang nodded.

seonghwa slowly walked out the house carefully trying not to hit hongjoong on his way out.

as soon as he made it to his car opened the passenger side and bent down onto the seat for hongjoong to slide off of him.

he went to the other side and drove carefully out the park way avoiding bumps so hongjoong won't get sick on the way to his house.

a little after, they arrive at seonghwas house. hongjoong was little but more awake to walk himself up.

once seonghwa opened the door hongjoong went straight in and slept on the couch.

"hey, go sleep on the bed. i'll sleep here" seonghwa shook the petite boy who was laid down.

hongjoong didn't budge.

seonghwa sighed as he sat next to him on the couch.

seonghwa was full of thoughts. nonetheless he didn't expect for hongjoong to be at his house tonight. he didn't expect for him to talk to him today.

will he be telling him soon?

now that's the answer that seonghwa has yet to ask himself.

seonghwa grabbed the couch blanket and fluffed the blanket onto hongjoongs body. making sure to cover everything.

without any time seonghwa fell asleep right next to him.

________________

the next day, the curtains with covering any sort of sunlight so the room was  pitch dark.

the boy still fallen asleep and seonghwas phone vibrating on silent.

the boy shook himself up from sleep and went to go grab his phone that was on the kitchen counter.

he opened a curtain to let some sight of vision through and saw the the screen of his phone.

he was quite devastated.

"hello" seonghwa spoke with guilt.

"hey seonghwa, sorry to call you so early and but umm, me and the director have made a decision and they decided to cut the wait time short... meaning you have until the next month to make your decision on going to japan." the voice over the speaker was loud which caused hongjoong to budge in his sleep.

"you know japan is a long way from here" seonghwa spoke

"yes i know that" the female responded

"and it is also my dream... but how will this make me more happy than i'm already now?" seonghwa looked over to hongjoong with a dropped face.

"i'm sorry?" the female voice spoke over the phone.

"i understand. i'll make my decision soon" seonghwa ended the call and out his head down onto the kitchen counter.

"japan?" hongjoong spoke up that caused seonghwa to jump up from the counter.

"what's happening in japan?" hongjoong walked closer.

"u-uhh nothing... n-nothings happening" seonghwa stuttered his words.

"seonghwa. don't lie to me. i heard everything." hongjoong spoke in a soft voice with his eyebrows furrowed.

"joongie, i didn't..... i didn't expect for anything to happen so quickly." seonghwa raised his voice and walked closer to hongjoong who stepped back.

"what do you mean so quickly? were you just expecting to date me long enough until this offer came and just leave me like that?.... how could you do that?" hongjoong rose his voice as his voice started to crack and his eyes started to water.

"did everything that we did together... does that not matter to you?" hongjoong breathed heavily.

"no joongie..," seonghwa got cut off.

"don't call me that" hongjoong spoke

"okay, hongjoong. of course it did. you mean everything to me." seonghwa shook his head.

"then how long have you known? if i mean everything to you then how come wooyoung came up to me and asked if i was okay with you. if i was comfortable." hongjoong ruffled his hair in confusion

"i don't know. i just... it wasn't for long. but you know that i do love you.... i love you so much." seonghwa tried to get closer to hongjoong but he kept backing away.

"if you love me so much then why would you leave me hanging. why would you not call or text me when i wasn't here. i get that your busy but do i not matter to you?" hongjoong questioned after letting out a big breath.

seonghwa didn't say anything.

there was pitch silence for a few seconds.

not knowing what came up in the air.

"you-you know what? seonghwa, just go. it was bad enough we were dating each other already" hongjoong made his way to the couch avoiding an argument.

"n-no hongjoong. what do you mean? i'm not just gonna go" seonghwa tried to ease the conversation.

"oh you know what i mean?" hongjoong looked up at seonghwa with regret.

the two boys were in conflict. the room was filled with reality trying to make sense of the situation. but it wasn't budging.

" i especially don't want to be the reason that's keeping you from achieving your dream. go seonghwa. go" hongjoong broke the silence.

"your not keeping me from anything." seonghwa put his head against his hands.

"really? cause last time i checked i was the reason keeping you from not dating me. from dating someone who is still immature. i don't know how to act on these things... so might as well just end it before it gets worse."

"so your just gonna let everything go like that? not even give it a chance." seonghwa rose his voice once again.

"what chance are you talking about? for as much as i know. you didn't give us a chance when you left. and look at you. leaving again.... but that doesn't matter cause this is what i want. seonghwa go to japan" hongjoongs tears were falling down his face. he couldn't dare to look at seonghwa.

"is this really what you want?" seonghwa spoke with conscience.

"yes.... this is what i want" hongjoong got up from the couch and grabbed his phone.

he made his way to the front door and left without saying anything.

seonghwa was left on the couch. speechless.

with everything that happened, they both needed time to figure everything out.

a/n:
now i can explain. 😭

btw i might be going home on christmas so im very excited. 🥺
-noelia