The Priests Daughter

New Boyfriend

I don't know what happened. Last week I told Jason I would go out with him. Then we went to the movies and he held my hand and I was so scared that I couldn't let go. Then he kissed me and I kissed him. I thought maybe my feelings would change but they didn't. When he kissed me I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Now everything thinks we are dating and I don't know what to do. 

At lunch, I decide not to sit with Mckenzie, Isabelle and Jason but to go to the library. I sat at one of the computers and got up this website where whatever you say is anonymous. So you can say something really deep and no one will know who said it. Unless of course, your stupid and you use your first and last name as your username. I decide to write about my crush. Of course, I don't say any names or anything but I write about how I have a crush on a girl and I'm hiding it by dating a guy.

What I don't realize is that as I leave the library I accidentally leave the website open which means anyone who goes on to the computer will see my username. 

A couple of days later I walk into school but somethings off. Everyone keeps staring at me weirdly. Some boys bump into me and call me a fag. I don't understand it at all. A fag is what most people call homosexuals/losers. But only I know that I like girls. NO one else knows that. Yeah, I wrote it on this public website but my details we're private. Unless someone hacked my account. 

I walk to my locker but before I can Jason bumps into me hard.

"Excuse me," I say to him.

"What," he says staring at me.

"What's wrong," I say. I don't know what's going on. "Why is everyone acting so weird."

"Maybe it's because you lied about liking me," she says.

"Wh-what do you m-mean," I say nervously. 

"You know exactly what I mean," he shouts. 

He turns around and carries on walking. I walk up to my locker and stuck onto the wall is a sheet of paper with four words on it, 'Lilac Is A Fag.' I look around and I start panicking. My breathing goes fast and I start sweating. I'm about to cry and I don't know what to do. I rip the sheet down and run into the nearby bathroom. I sit on the toilet and cry. I cry until there are no more tears left in my body. I hear the lunch bell go and then I hear someone coming into the bathroom. I wipe my tears and try not to make a sound.

"Lilac are you in here," I hear Mckenzie say. I really don't want to talk to her gith now so I don't speak. I see her feet walk past my door and then I hear her knock on my stall. "I know it's you."

I sigh and open the door so she can see me. "What do you want," I say.

"I know what you feel like," she says. "When I came out I was called a fag and I was bullied and the guy who I was dating beat me up." She sighs. "I talked to Jason and he is sorry for being rude to you but he's not ready to forgive you just yet. And also I saw the thing you wrote."

I look at her nervously. Of course, she saw it. 

"Is it me." I look at her and nod. "I thought so."

"So, why are you talking to me," I say. She looks at me confused. "Well, I thought that this would make things awkward."

"No, it definitely does not. And if we are being truthful I do like you as well but I think that for now, you should stay single for a little while. Because a lot of stuff is going to happen and dating someone would just add more pressure." 

I nod. I am so glad that Mckenzie understands. If she didn't I don't know what would have happened.