Rosalind - Amby Awards 2023 TOP PICK

45- These Moonlight Desires

"I knew," Rosalind admitted still in a daze. "What I mean to say is a part of me knew the wolf I met was not a mere wolf."

Troy gave her a sad smile. "We are eternal, Rosalind. Agnes, my father and I. Never to die. Constantly to live in this," with a sigh he swept his hand around his grand room, "dark paradise." A dry chuckle rose.

Her heart went out to Troy. "But you have each other," she commented, stupidly believing Caspian and his son had some sort of relationship.

"Each other?" he scoffed. "The beastly lord of the manor and his shape-shifting son?" When Rosalind nodded confused, Troy confessed, "My father loathes me."

"Surely he cannot –"

Interrupting her, Troy began to narrate the truth between his father and himself. "All my life, all he has ever done is hurt me." Bitterness dripped from his words. Behind him, the window boasted a heavy snowfall. Flakes as large as coins cascaded from a pink and orange streaked sky. "He has a heavy hand. One that enjoys coming down on me every chance he gets."

Rosalind watched Troy in utter disbelief. Surely not his son!

Pushing himself up, Troy's hands moved to his shirt. He took hold of the thin material, slid it off his shoulders, past his arms and let it drop on the floor behind him. He turned, his back now to Rosalind. "This is how much my father cares for me." Pale, nearly invisible ribbons of long whip marks slashed his back. An abundance of them. Scars which had healed over older ones and created a confusing map from shoulder to hip. A map that led Troy from Caspian's hatred all the way to an eternity of suffering.

Stunned, Rosalind rose and moved to stand behind him. The marks were only visible up close. No wonder she had not noticed anything the night she had seen him in the bathtub. "Dear God," she whispered, "what has he done?"

"God dares not enter this domain." There was no amount of prayer, no singing of hymns which could cajole God into the lord's home. Salvation was simply another word. "He knows we are damned. And I have been here long enough to know that faith does not save anyone."

Rosalind wanted to weep. The welts looked hideous upon Troy's otherwise immaculate flesh. Her mind buzzed. How could you? she thought. The feelings for Caspian she kept caged raged like feral beasts.

Troy kept his back to her when he spoke. "You did not see them that night."

In that moment, Rosalind felt as though she had stepped into a fire. Inside she burned beautifully. The image of him rising from the murky water was imprinted in her brain.

"You saw me in the bath, Rosalind. I know you were there."

Separated by a few feet, the closeness was warmer than any fire in the hearth. "I should ask for your forgiveness," she said.

Outside where the cold bit with vampire teeth, a lone owl called for its mate. Little nocturnal beats skittered through the snow in search of food. Inside the manor, two lost souls cried out for affection. Though Rosalind and Troy were strangers, they were also kindred, joined forever by the lord's cruel intentions.

Troy turned to face Rosalind. "I did not mind you being there." He paused to find the words he wanted to say. "If you had stayed longer, I would have let you." Through the candle's glow, a light blush rose upon his cheeks.

In his room, Rosalind felt warmer than she did in any other part of the house. "Though I should not have trespassed I did, for I was looking for someone to shatter this loneliness and confusion I feel. I should have left before I walked into your bathing chamber. May the Heavens forgive me but the truth is I enjoyed seeing you, Troy." Right and wrong had fled many nights ago. Or perhaps they had never followed her in through the gate of the manor at all. "And I ...I want to look at you again." His beautiful body played havoc in her mind as did the fact that she wanted to push Caspian and that feeling away.

His auburn lashes touched as he nodded once. Keeping the closeness they had claimed, Troy's fingers moved deftly over the buttons of his garment. Shadows slithered over him as he pulled his trousers down and stepped out of them. When his gaze wavered, Rosalind hooked her finger under his chin and brought his eyes to hers. "I have never seen anyone more beautiful than you. You belong in a fairy tale, not...here."

Troy's hands trembled when he brought them to her face. He felt dizzy. "Had we met some other place and some other time..."

"Shh..." Placing her fingers to Troy's lips, Rosalind hushed him. She knew being with him was risky. She knew that once she left this house he would be nothing more than a memory. But at that very moment, they needed nothing else but each other's touch.

When Rosalind stepped closer and leaned her cheek to his chest a sound between a cry and a moan escaped Troy's lips. "Hold me," he begged and Rosalind wrapped her arms around him.

Being together was bittersweet. As Troy wrapped his own arms around Rosalind, she knew they could be nothing to each other than what they were among these four walls.

"You cannot stay too long," Troy uttered, fearing his father's return with every sound coming from the outside.

"But I can stay long enough." Rosalind slid her hands down the length of his back, soft as velvety over the scars Caspian had left behind. She nuzzled into his neck and breathed the sandalwood and vanilla which had penetrated his skin.

When he softly cried, she grazed her lips over his shoulder then let them linger there.

Troy's fingers wove through her hair, the same fingers which had not too long ago created a glorious melody on the violin.

Rosalind pulled back a touch. You are nothing alike. Curling a lock of his reddish hair around her finger she focused on the way his breath hitched at her touch. She stole her hand away and slid it in between them.

Troy shuddered when she glided him into her palm.

"I will stay long enough for you to feel there is nothing in the world but this moment."

Troy squeezed his eyes shut. Small, feral sounds floated through the room as he thrust into Rosalind's hand.

Her free hand returned to the scars and she whispered to him that she would never allow Caspian to hurt him again, promises she did not know how to keep.