Neymar Imagines

Imagine #23 It's Goodbye For Us

He, who was nothing but loyal and faithful to me.

He, who made me the happiest on earth. 

He, who had so many women after him but chose me to love unconditionally. 

How could I be so stupid?

How could I do that to him?

How could I hurt him like this?

How could I break our steady trust and relationship so nonchalantly, so easily?

How could I break us like this?

...

In a panicked state I walked through the front door and ran up the stairs to the bedroom. I grabbed my suitcase and started packing all my necessary stuff. With a blurred eyesight and a heavy heart, I rushed through the bedroom collecting everything, trying to make sure I wouldn't forget anything. My eyes fell on a picture of us together and it shattered my heart into even smaller pieces. This wasn't me, how was I going to live with this mistake?

Neymar could arrive any moment now, and it made me anxious knowing I was going to have to explain my behavior sooner or later. Secretly, I hoped I would have already left before he came home. 

But I realized my luck had run out when I heard the door open and close in a split second. 

"Babe, I'm home!" 

I took a deep breath for the first time today and wiped away my tears. 

I cleared my throat before speaking, "I'm upstairs." 

My voice sounded hoarse and unusual. 

Before I knew it a frowning and worried Neymar was standing in the door frame, "Is everything okay? What are you doing? What happened, Y/N?"

I broke down not wanting to upset him because of my stupidity. 

"I'm sorry, Neymar. I'm so sorry." My voice broke.

He approached me and embraced me in a comforting hug, which only made me feel more guilty. I knew this was probably the last time that he would lovingly caress me with his ever-so-protecting arms. 

"Come on, let's talk about it." He guided me towards the bed and we both took a seat.

I sighed deeply and didn't dare to look at him. 

"Neymar, I'm going to be honest with you. I made the biggest mistake of my life and I'm prepared to pay for the consequences... even if that means losing you." I started off.

When he didn't say anything, I continued, "Last night when I was in the club with my friends, I had too much alcohol, and that's already where I went out of line, but I did something far worse that is inexcusable. I was dancing and this guy started dancing with me and I didn't stop him and then he kissed me out of nowhere... and I kissed him back." 

Hearing my last words, Neymar shot up from the bed and ran his hands through his hair, rather frustratingly. He let out a shaky breath but stayed silent. 

He was just pacing around the room without saying anything, but the silence was killing me, "Say something, please." 

I needed to know what he was thinking and feeling. 

"Why, Y/N? Why would you do that? I trusted you!" He raised his voice just a little and looked into my eyes.

"Neymar I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"But you still did it! Don't give me those meaningless excuses! You kissed some fucking asshole!" He yelled.

I stayed silent because he was right. My eyes welled up again and soon the tears were unstoppable. 

"I just- Just give me some time." He said a lot calmer than before and disappeared out of the room.

I sighed and sobbed until I was tired from drowning in my self-pity. 

...

I was nearly done with packing my stuff when Neymar cleared his throat taking me by surprise, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes looked puffy from crying.

"Can I-" 

"I want to-" 

We both spoke at the same time interrupting each other.

"Sorry, you go first." I told him.

I observed his face and it was rather emotionless which scared me, "First of all, thank you for telling me. Other than that, I know you are not the type to be this way, Y/N. I've known you far too long to think something like that about you. But I'm still sad and disappointed, and angry that you would do something like that to me... and us." 

His voice gave away his emotions. He was hurt. I hurt him. The one man I loved.

A tear slipped from my eye, "It's up to you if you want to believe me or not, but I really am sorry, Neymar. I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know what came over me. I have never even looked at another man. I always fully committed myself to you, so there really is no excuse for this. I hope you are able to forgive me one day."   

He looked away from me, but I was able to see his eyes getting foggy, "Look Y/N, I think it is better if you go now, and we take some time apart. I need some time to process this." 

I knew he was struggling with saying that because we deeply loved each other and shared a great bond. It hurt like hell seeing him so upset and broken. And I couldn't stand the fact that I was the culprit.

"I understand." I grabbed my suitcase, and walked towards him.

"Just know that I never stopped loving you." I gently touched his arm.

Lord, thinking about a future without his warmth and love made me sick.

I heard him sniffle as he grabbed my hand and held it in his. He finally looked at me and tears were flowing from both of our eyes, "I'm sorry, Ney." I whispered making eye contact with him for the last time.

I let go of his hand and made my way downstairs, my mind haunted by the broken expression on his face.

I had to leave behind the one I would take a shot for. 

Just like that Neymar became the one that got away.

That was the last time I would ever touch alcohol. I learned my lesson.