how it feels to be alive {tom riddle}

twenty-four: damsel

Tom pulled one of the bottles from the bag, reading the label and looking up at her judgementally, "As a previous Head Boy, I feel I may have to report you for this." He raised his eyebrows, putting the bottle of vodka on the bed and reaching to see the others, "Smuggling muggle alcohol into school... I'd have to give you a detention and deduct points for this."

"Good thing you won't be there to do that." Lucia smiled innocently, snatching back the bottles in his grasp and returning them to her trunk.

He shook his head and leant back on his headboard.

"You never told me you were Head Boy." Lucia added, looking at him curiously, "Why am I not surprised you were a teacher's pet at school?"

"Were is a strong word, I think you'd be more correct in saying I convinced them I was." He insisted, "The Head Boy dormitory was a luxurious bonus, those walls don't allow even a sound to pass." He looked at her menacingly. In all honesty she couldn't tell if he was hinting at the noise of sex or torture.

"Of course, you couldn't possibly care about your relationship with your teachers for genuine reasons. It always comes back to manipulating people, doesn't it Tom." She rolled her eyes.

"Not always." He sighed, folding her clothes by hand gently. She was surprised at his cooperation, considering he hadn't even insisted on using magic.

A couple of moments of silence passed.

"What were you reading today?" Lucia queried, seeing as he'd been flicking through the pages of another muggle author that day.

"The Republic by Plato, complete and utter rubbish."" He responded casually.

"I hardly think anyone would argue Plato and Socrates' ideas to be rubbish." Lucia scoffed, "I'm not surprised you disagree though."

"I'm not surprised you agree." He shot back.

"I never said I blatantly agreed with it all, but I consider them to be incredibly progressive and influential in their ideas." Lucia explained, not stooping to his immature hatred for those he disagreed with, "You do realise what an impact they had on the presence of education in the present day, right?"

"Unfortunately I am aware." Tom replied bluntly, continuing to fold her clothes just to give his hands something to do.

"Honestly, sometimes your stubbornness is suffocating." Lucia chuckled in disbelief, pushing her shoulder into his lightly.

He picked up something black and lacy from the pile of clothes, bringing it up with a devious smirk plastered on his face.

"For fuck's sake Tom," She laughed, reaching to snatch the underwear from his hands, but he just raised it up higher.

She cursed as she climbed on the bed to reach his hand and snatched them from the smug looking boy, "You're such a nuisance sometimes."

He smirked and sat back down on the bed, pulling her old textbook back onto his lap and looking at her in a way she knew his imagination was running wild.

***

Lucia and Tom sat eating the Indian food they'd ordered to the hotel that evening, Lucia's packing still strewn across the hotel room messily, particularly over her bed.

"Have you worked out what you'll do when I have to go back to school?" Lucia asked, "I'm happy to keep the hotel room on Don's card, but you'd be stuck here alone."

"I'll decide when we get to it." Tom said with his jaw clenched, still intent on going to Hogwarts.

"It's getting close Tom, I really think you should plan what you're going to do." Lucia insisted, anxious about Tom's lack of apparent forethought.

"Do you want to rid yourself of me, or something?" Tom said sharply.

"Don't be immature, of course I don't. But I know it's selfish of me to want to stay with you." She sighed, putting down her fork due to a sudden lack of appetite.

"No one is getting hurt by me being here. You spend all this time arguing this is unnatural and wrong, but you have no good reasoning." He spoke coldly.

"I'm sorry, Tom. I've just grown up being taught about the danger of messing with time. Why else would all the time turners be locked away in the Ministry?" She explained, crossing her arms over her stomach and leaning back in her chair.

"Messing with the past, yes. But my being here is different." He reasoned.

"I know you have some weird fantasy about returning to Hogwarts, I just don't think it's a good choice." Lucia exclaimed in return, running her fingers anxiously through her hair.

"I'll drink Polyjuice Potion everyday if I have to. I'm not a fool Lucia, I wouldn't risk messing with time if I thought there would be undesirable repercussions." Tom regained a logical approach to his argument.

"I don't know what to think." Lucia huffed, "I really want to trust your intentions, Tom."

"Trust me, Lucia." He said softer.

"If I agree to let you come, you have to swear to fucking Merlin you won't fuck things up." She broke, seeing that he wasn't backing down.

I some ways, Lucia thought it might be better to have him in close proximity for mere surveillance. But the risks made her stomach twist every time she thought about them.

It would be a delicate harmony of time, where one wrong move could cause a butterfly effect that spanned several generations.

Could the knowledge Tom had gathered and took back to the forties influence the future they were in now? The thought made her fingers tremble as she considered that already she may have made a grave mistake.

But the way she felt when she was with him, there was nothing she could compare it to.

She knew how selfish it was, how juvenile and naïve her indulging in this time with him was.

But she didn't think she could let go of him, even if she tried.

author's note

wtf thank you so much for 4k reads! every time I look it's gone up by so much, thanks for all your support.

also to all those from america who voted, thank you! not only am I so happy to see biden in, but kamala harris being the first woman of colour vice president is such a great step towards a greater presence of women in politics, and overall equality.

stay feminists y'all, our rights are so important <3