Loving Rukia

Again

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(Ichigo's P.O.V.)

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I heard the sound of slight panting.

Rukia stepped out of the building, looking shaken and slightly dazed, her breathing labored.

What had happened?

I shot to my feet. "Rukia, are you okay? You seem..."

Rukia smiled weakly. "No Ichigo, I'm perfectly fine, just a little exhausted, you know?"

I looked at her, unsure. "You were in there for quite a long time..."

Rukia stared at me, exasperated. "Look, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, all I did was go inside for a little. No big deal. You don't have to worry about me constantly."

Still, I felt that something had just happened inside there.

"Let's just head back. I'm really tired." Rukia began to quickly walk down the alley back to the clinic. I jogged after her.

"Rukia," I caught up to her and grabbed her shoulders roughly, turning her around. "It's obvious you're not okay. What the heck happened?"

"It's none of your freaking business Ichigo," Rukia glared.

"I'm just trying to help," I persisted. I couldn't bear to see her troubled like this. "You're my friend."

"Ichi--"

I pulled her into a hug. She looked like she needed one.

Rukia sniffled, the sound muffled slightly. 'Ichigo, stop it." She attempted to break away from my embrace, but I just held on tighter, crushing her body gently into my chest.

I looked down at her head of raven-colored hair. My breath ruffled it slightly, and I could feel her shivering from my touch. I could lean down, and nuzzle her neck, breathe in the scent of her hair, or even tilt her face up and kiss her slowly. It could be so easy...

No. I cannot take advantage of her current state...

But my body thought otherwise.

Before I realized it, I was dipping my head down to hers, leaning down just enough to catch the curve of her jaw with my hands. I tipped her head up and kissed her. Right there.

I glanced at Rukia's face just before I went down to kiss her. She had a look of mild surprise, mixed with...fear?

Wait, what am I doing...?

I was kissing...Rukia.

Her lips, they were amazingly soft, just like they looked. My hands were entangled in her silky, night-black short hair, which smelled of something lightly sweet and delicate. I felt the sensation of her arms curling upwards, encircling my neck. I was kissing her... and she was kissing me...and I was enjoying it so much...that my mind just went blank.

I couldn't think anymore.

"Mmph...Ich----" Rukia faltered. "I..."

This girl made me drunk. I couldn't comprehend a single word that came out of her mouth. All I could focus on was pressing her small body closer, devouring her mouth, breathing in her scent.

Suddenly, she broke away.

Why...?

I moaned softly from the loss of contact.

"Ichigo..." Rukia stumbled away from me. "Why... Why does it have to be you too?"

Her face was already streaked with the beginnings of tears.

"Rukia, I---"

"Why? Why do you and Renji have to kiss me in the span of one single day? Why so you both have to like me? WHY?!?" she screamed, her voice steadily growing louder.

"I...I thought...I couldn't control myself..." I stuttered.

Renji liked her too...so did that mean he had kissed her already? Is that what had happened inside there...?

How can my mind be so strangely calm. Rukia is yelling at me, she just freaking rejected me, and I'm thinking about her and Renji. Go figure. Must be because of the shock.

"Oh sure you did. Renji said just about the same thing. I thought it would all be over when I explained that I can't love anyone, but then you have to just come over and kiss the living hell out of me while your at it, huh?" Rukia snapped, sarcastically.

"I thought that even though Renji kissed me, I could still trust you as a friend. But nooo... you have to turn around and kiss me the exact same way. Who can I trust now? Why do both of you, my best friends, have to like me?"

I wish I could answer that question.

My heart twisted painfully, hurting my chest terribly. I could feel the tears sliding down my face.

"Rukia..." I hated seeing her like this. It broke my heart. "Just..."

"No Ichigo. Just NO."

And with those horrible, painful, heart wrenching words, Rukia Kuchiki, the woman I loved, walked away from me, down into the dark alley. She walked away from me, with my tear-stained face and my broken heart. Without looking back.