together [daejae]

Chapter 9

The next afternoon, Daehyun was back in our room. I had planned to tell him that I knew what had happened and ask him for his version of the story, but when he entered the room, I dropped the plan.

I was sitting on my bed, doing some homework because I had nothing else to do, when he came in. He looked tired and his look was fixed to the ground. He did not even look at me when I asked him how he was feeling.

"Gotta sleep." he just mumbled and lied down in his bed, covering himself with the blanket entirely.

I sighed. Hopefully he would talk to me later.

It took until the following day that he looked at me again. We went to eat together and talked a little about this and that, but I could not shake of the heavy feeling of sorrow and unspoken thoughts, so after lunch, I decided to finally do something about this. I wanted to be with him like before, but for that, this whole huge problem had to be solved. I knew he would not like it when I started that topic again, but I just could not take this anymore.

I sat down on his bed, next to him. How should I start? What should I say? Carefully, I started speaking.

"Somebody told me… about the things that happened two years ago. And-"

"Who?" he asked, staring at me with a look I could not quite read, what made me feel insecure.

"Does that matter? I just… wanted to ask you if what they say is true… Or what really happened…"

Still, he only looked at me with that unreadable expression. I started feeling a strange kind of fear creep up in me. Why wasn't he saying anything? Was it true? Was he mad that I knew? I felt like for the first time since I know him, I could not tell what he was feeling right now and this scared me.

"Why can't you just leave this topic alone?" he then said, his voice sounding cold and tired. "You know I don't like talking about it."

"Because they won't leave you alone and if the things they say aren't true, you should do something against this. How long do you want this to go on? How often do things like yesterday happen? I've been here for three weeks and had to witness you getting beaten up twice. I don't want to watch this any longer."

"I told you to leave before it happened."

"Oh right and you think I'll just leave you alone with a guy who wants to hurt you?"

"I've been alone with them for two years, do you really think you being there will change something? Don't you think I'd have done something against this if I didn't deserve it? You come here and try to save me, not even asking if I want your help."

"What do you mean you deserve it? Did you do it?"

He sighed and covered his face with his hands while lying down on his back. "Yes, it was my fault. Are you happy now? Will you finally leave me alone?" His voice was low and somehow sounded exhausted.

I could not deny that I felt a little hurt by the things he said, but that was covered from the confusion about what he had just said. Had he just confessed that he had killed Max? Why would he do something like that? I could not imagine Daehyun ever doing harm to someone. But he had said it, and why wouldn't he tell the truth?

"Please go" Daehyun said and I looked at him again. He was still lying next to me, his eyes covered by his arm.

I wordlessly got up and left the room. I felt the need to be alone, to think about everything that was going on in my mind.

I left the building and decided to take a walk through the garden behind the castle. It was getting colder these days, soon the leaves would fall from the trees, leaving them behind like cold, grey creatures waving their arms in the wind.

When I had reached a bench, I sat down and closed my eyes for a little. When I had arrived and met Daehyun, I had expected everything to be perfect again, like it had been before. But now, I was not even sure anymore if this was really the Daehyun I had loved two years ago. I felt like he had become distant and cold. Back then, he had never been as quiet as he was now. What had happened to him? Why had he changed? And, especially, why on earth had he killed someone?