Truly, Madly, Deeply Irresistible

Chapter 9- I'll Change My Mind

     I hate that feeling when you feel like you've over-reacted and have completely messed something up. That's exactly how I felt that night. I couldn't sleep at all. I felt absolutely terrible. Niall was crying and I was the reason for it. Why is it that every time something good happens, I screw it up? I needed a hug. I needed someone to talk to. But most of all, I needed some closure.

                                                                   ...

    At the 3 in the morning, I texted Niall: "You're probably asleep right now, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and hopefully we can still be friends." I didn't expect him to answer. "Why would he be awake at this hour?", I thought. But it turns out that he was. "No." What did he mean by that? He wanted to stop speaking to me all together? I couldn't take it. I called him. No answer. I texted him. No answer. I called him again. Nothing.

     I grabbed my phone, slipped on some shoes and got ready. I couldn't take it anymore. "Are we friends or are we more? As I'm walking toward the door, I'm not sure"...

                                                          ...

     "What are you doing here?", Niall asks, as he opens the door of his hotel room. "I need some answers. What's going on?", I ask. "Please just go home, Emily. If you weren't ready for this, you shouldn't have lead me on.", he says. "I didn't lead you on. YOU reached for MY hand. YOU kissed ME. Why can't you just listen to what I have to say?", I demanded. "Alright. Come inside.", he replied. He closed the door behind me.

      "I apologized for a reason. I know I was wrong. There was no reason for you to ignore me. I don't blame you if you don't wanna see me anymore. I just wanna know why we can't be friends..?", I ask. "Who ever said we can't be friends?", he responds. "YOU." "Me? When did I ever say that?", he asks. "When I said I still wanted to be friends, you texted back saying "no"". "But-", he begins, and I interrupt him. "Look, I know I screwed up our chances as a couple, but I don't see why that should affect our friendship.", I add. "But when I said no, I wasn't...", he trails off. "You weren't what?", I asked, confused. "What I meant was: I don't wanna be friends.", he said. "I know, that's what I don't get. Why not?", I said. "I wanna be more than friends... But I know you don't.", he explains. "I do... But a relationship should be open. I don't want to have to keep it a secret.", I say.