how it feels to be alive {tom riddle}

sixteen: clouds

As a young girl, Lucia had hoped to be able to spend time in the clouds. She had dreamt of how soft and warm they would feel to the touch, like a pillow that was both firm enough to stop you sinking in too far, but not so hard that your neck was strained.

Of course, she didn't share this desire with anyone. It seemed like a mundane hope that wouldn't ever be fulfilled.

Eventually, she ventured into the sky on a broom. Her expectations were outrageously high, and she new this. However, nothing could have prepared her for the icy blow that struck her as she entered the mass of water particles.

It was as if all she had dreamt of was a lie. They were suddenly not this dreamy and tranquil place where angels could rest their heads whilst humming dainty notes. Instead they were a harsh, cold accumulation of unpleasantness, that couldn't even hold her weight.

It was incredibly disappointing.

But then again, this was a recurring theme in Lucia's life.

She would have such a romanticised idea of something, so nothing could ever live up to her expectations.

It was rather exhausting.

Lucia moved back to her bag to get a lighter, some rolling papers and the bag from Darcy.

As she walked over to the window, Tom eyed her curiously.

"Since when do you smoke?" He asked, confused he didn't know this detail about her.

"I don't smoke cigarettes... most of the time." Lucia chuckled, "I do smoke this occasionally though, it's a kind of muggle herb..."

"Oh." Tom sighed as he registered what it was and shook his head.

"What? Never smoked a little weed in your time? Of course, because you're just way too sophisticated." Lucia teased, as she rolled the pungent herb into the paper.

"I've never seen the need to dabble in such low-class activities." Tom said defensively, but not coldly like he would if it was anyone else.

Lucia opened the window and leant out. She flicked her lighter on the end of the joint and inhaled deeply.

The familiar smoke flowed into her lungs, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling before exhaling out the window.

Tom watched with an inquisitive gaze, tilting his head in concentration.

"Why don't you just use magic to light it?" Tom asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"It just feels wrong to mix the two." Lucia shrugged, "Want to try?" She said holding the smoking stick his way.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Come on, live a little." She smirked, meeting his eyes.

"Fine." He sighed and came up to stand beside her, taking the joint from her slender fingers.

"Do you know how to..." Lucia began.

"Lucia, I think I know how to inhale. I've smoked cigarettes before." He scoffed, not liking people to ever assume his ignorance.

Lucia raised her hands, "Sorry, I didn't want you to embarrass yourself by coughing and spluttering everywhere." Though she couldn't imagine Tom doing such a thing if she was completely honest, he seemed all too perfect.

He chuckled, bringing the thin white stick to his lips and inhaling. He looked slightly perplexed, but soon inhaled out the window.

Lucia took it back from him to take a hit herself. "Not too bad for a rookie." She elbowed him playfully.

After passing it between them a couple of times, Lucia breathed in the smoke and grasped hair on the back of Tom's head, drawing him close to her. He sensed what she was doing as she let the smoke pass from her lips and he inhaled it out of her mouth.

It felt so intimate, and the feeling of being so close had both their skin prickling. Their lips brushed softly, before he began to draw back to exhale.

She smiled at him as he blew it back out the window, releasing his hair from her grip.

"Fuck, Darcy gave me some good shit." Lucia laughed in amusement, running her fingers through her hair.

Both were already feeling the effects, and Tom's eyes had a red tinge to them that looked quite out of place.

"Look at you, Tom Riddle. A different man." She gestured to his appearance.

"It's all your fault, Lucy." He shook his head, but he was smiling.

"God, don't call me that." Lucia cringed.

"Why? Lucy." He smirked, leaning his head on her from his position seated by the window.

"It sounds like a little girl." She sighed, threading her hands in his hair.

"That is true." Tom acknowledged, enjoying her touch.

"And my dad used to call me Lucy, before he... you know." She added.

"Oh." His smirk faded, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's totally fine. It actually is kind of nice to hear it again." She said as she sunk down into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her against him.

She rolled another joint and lit it, wanting to feel more of the euphoria induced by it. After taking a drag herself, she pressed it to Tom's lips, who breathed in too.

Having not inhaled it properly, he started coughing, trying to disguise it with laughter. Lucia couldn't help but erupt in real laughter, patting him on the back as he steadied his breathing.

"Nice one." She teased, "But no, for real, I had a coughing fit when I tried it for the first time." She added reassuringly.

"How old were you then?" Tom asked, returning his arms to her waist.

"Fourteen." She admitted, feeling serene with the mixture of his touch and being rather high.

Tom planted a soft kiss on her neck, "Well I'm glad to have been compared to a fourteen year-old." He said into her skin, continuing his movements with his mouth.

"Fourteen year-old me really thought she was a bad bitch." Lucia laughed, moving her neck to allow him further access.

He continued to just below her ear, and her hair raised on end at the feeling of his breath tickling her.

"I'll have to get you stoned more often. You're very affectionate." Lucia commented, and she felt him chuckle against her.

"I don't have to be high to want my lips all over you." He whispered into her ear.

"So stoned Tom is both affectionate and horny." Lucia laughed.

He had slid his hands up her shirt and was toying with the lace on her bra.

"I think we'd better stop before it's too late." Lucia announced as she stood up, causing his hands to fall from her. "Not that I wouldn't like to go there with you right now, but I'd rather wait until we're both not stoned as shit."

It had been a mental battle to pull away from Tom, but she knew they couldn't. Not like this when they were both out of their right mind.

author's note

omg 2k reads! thank you all so much.

it means so much to see all your comments.

as much as I love writing this book, having people who enjoy it and look forward to updates really takes it that step further.

I only have one more exam until I'm finished for the year, so excitedddd