Diary of an Introvert 2

13: I'm Tired

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed at work. My schedule's full of classes, if not, meetings or making reports.

No matter how much I wanted to bond with others, I can't. Or else, I'll need to bring my work at home and that's the one I can't sacrifice.

What do I do?

Walking on this street, I feel like crying. Hah. Can I even cry? I'm afraid that people will see me.

I tried calling my friends but they're not picking up.  Lord, please help.

"Hey, Cee. Kanina pa kita tinatawag—oh. Anong nangyari?"

It's Jay. Lord, bakit siya?!

"Tsk, bakit ka ba nandito ha?"

"Ha? Parati akong naglalakad dito tuwing ganitong oras. Ikaw? Anong ginagawa mo dito? Don't tell me you're gonna meet Oliver?"

"At bakit naman ako makikipagkita kay Oliver?"
Yes. Oliver and I became friends but knowing what's going on with him right now, I don't want to bother him.

"I'm just asking. Bakit ka nagagalit?"

"Galit ba ako? Ah—hay. Ewan. Alam mo, bad timing ka eh. Pagod ako okay? Gustong-gusto ko ng umiyak kanina pa pero di ko magawa dahil nakakahiya tapos binibwisit mo pa ako. Jay, would you mind leaving me alone for a while?"

He stopped me by the hand.

"Jay—"

"Ilang beses ko ba kailangang sabihin sayo na ayokong  iwan ka. If you want to cry, just cry. Sasamahan kita."

His words made my tears fall without my permission.

"Nakakabwisit ka."
"Oo na. Feel free to curse me if yan ang magpapagaan ng pakiramdam mo."

Unconsciously, I leaned on his chest and starting telling him what I feel.  "Pagod na ako. Gusto ko ng sumuko. Ang hirap. Nalulungkot ako dahil pakiramdam ko, hindi na ako kailangan ng mga kaibigan ko. I feel like I'm drowning. I don't want to fight anymore...ayoko na..."

He didn't say anything. He just stayed still, listening to my complains. As I became quiet, he started talking.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

I moved away from him and nodded. 

He smiled. "That's good. Hay, mula noon, hanggang ngayon,ganun ka pa rin. Napakaiyakin mo talaga. You easily get frustrated and sad."

"You don't have to point it out."

"But you're strong, Cee. Alam ko yun. So kung ano man yang pinagdadaanan mo, you can overcome it." He continued.

I want to say thank you but I don't know why I can't manage to do it. Again, I just stayed quiet.

"Sigurado kang okay ka na?" He asked again. "Hindi ba masakit ang ulo mo?"

"Ah, now that you mentioned it. Parang...masakit nga pero medyo lang naman."

He moved closer and put his palm on my forehead.

"Hay. Tama nga ako. You have a slight fever, Cee. You better go home and rest."

I just nodded.

He brought me home and reminded me again to take a lot of water and rest if I want to feel better. I said yes just for him to stop.

He smiled and said good bye.

----

After this day, I didn't hear anything from him.